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Well, ..... fvck my life, I guess.

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wotmaniac:
Not looking for answers; just need to vent.  Seems like as good a place to do that as any. 
(if you don't care to read a pity party, this is your last chance to leave/ignore -- you've been warned)

Since my last disappearance from here, it's been quite a roller coaster. 
In the 10yrs that I've been trying to brute-force my way through an ever-deepening depression, somewhere along the way I lost the ability to discern the difference between the depression and what seems like a run-of-the-mill mid-life crisis.  On top of that: I've rage-quit 2 jobs (fun stories); got kicked out of my house (landlord all of a sudden decided that they wanted to live in that house) and because [insert long story] I'm living in an extended-stay motel; mom died this summer (my very last words were "hurry up and die already", 3yrs ago); and found out 1.5 months ago that I've got kidney cancer (and possibly bladder cancer as well -- as well as a slew of other accumulating health problems) - and I'm stuck having to use the VA, because as an independent contractor I can't afford real health insurance.

Yup, fuck my life.


I've got people around me; but I can't very well bitch at them every time I want to throw a pity party, else I become such a downer that nobody wants to hang out with me anymore.  They got their own lives and own problems.  At least you guys are in the disinterested position of not knowing me IRL (and can always ignore the thread from here out).  Don't worry, I'll try to keep this to a minimum -- update my dr. appointments, note any status changes, and respond to anyone who wants -- but otherwise, I'll just keep trucking on.  Like I said, just need to vent.

Raineh Daze:
I wish you luck with the health issues.

wotmaniac:
me too.  I might need it.  :)

thank you.

oslecamo:
+Good fortune.

wotmaniac:
 :thumb

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