Author Topic: New guys thread  (Read 9714 times)

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
New guys thread
« on: September 08, 2015, 10:00:26 PM »
The lot of you have traveled to the fabulous flying city of Serranian for various reasons of your own, and to make money for the moment have applied at unemployment services for a job in an Adventurers Guild.  Some of these Guilds can be kind of skeevy, some have blind fanatics, and some can be decent people.  You're all individually given the address of a local building, and arrive to find warring crowds of protesters out front.  On one side are some fairly sketchy individuals with signs saying 'Undead Rights Nao!"

On the other are are variety of people you recognize as fanatics belonging to one of various religions screaming "KILL THE GHOST WHORES!" without a trace of irony.  Watching over all this are bemused members of the local Guard who occasionally kneecap anyone who gets to far out of line.

Time to March in and introduce yourselves!  :D

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2015, 12:23:27 AM »
A tipsy sailor watches the crowd bemusedly before knocking on the guild door and letting himself in when he does not receive a prompt response.

"Hello!" He says to the nearest secretary-type he can find. "I heard that you're taking applications at the moment! Excuse me while I whip this out."


(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 09, 2015, 12:54:30 AM by Solo »
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2015, 02:58:02 AM »
The only secretary is an oddly stacked sylvan woman whose skin has a slight greenish tint, and whose hair seems to be made of flowers.  Her teeth also seem worryingly sharp.

She takes your application and begins reading:

"No one here is named Shirly."

"This Demiplane is well outside the reach of both Mehpistopheles and Baator, no problems there."

"Not sure what a Pastafarian is.  Do you have a problem with ghosts?"

Offline Vladeshi

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 322
  • Feel free to ignore me.
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2015, 03:21:00 AM »
A young man, wearing a hat with what appears to be a grinning toothy mouth, is sitting on the edge of a roof of a nearby building muttering to himself.

"Undead rights?  How would that even work?  The undead would then have to abide by the law and given how many must feed in order to keep their already questionable sanity, they would have to then find a way to feed without harming anyone in an unlawful manner.  Perhaps they could sustain themselves off of livestock?  But I have never heard of any undead doing such a thing. Right, so first I will need to capture several vampires, twenty should do for a good start, ten for the control and...."

The man cuts off to glance at the sun.

"15:06 already? To more important things then."

He floats down from the roof, sitting sidesaddle on his broom, and lands at the already open door of the guild

"Excuse me, but I have been hearing rumors that this guild was accepting applications.  I would like to inquire as to the truth of such statements and if true how one would go about beginning the application process."
« Last Edit: September 09, 2015, 03:34:49 AM by Vladeshi »
The following explanation has been removed due to time constraints, character limits on posts, and the DC 30 Spellcraft checks to understand large portions of it.

Offline Stratovarius

  • Forum Host
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 6187
  • Arhosan Emperor
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2015, 07:00:02 AM »
A rather grizzled fellow, eyes tucked beneath bushy brows, glances over at the competing and unruly crowds before shrugging and shoving his way through the pack. There were always idiots in the world, and he didn't feel any need to waste more time than usual looking at them. Unless he could perhaps kill one or two for entertainment? Probably not allowed without a contract of some sort. Pity.

Bumping aside a much smaller man who was hovering at the open door of the guild and peering inside, he ducks under the doorway, stretches to his full height, and poses. "As I am truly magnificent, I suggest you employ me. Quickly!"

Offline Risada

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2067
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2015, 01:57:21 PM »
A 1.8 m tall draconic man whose scales look like are made of stone and is wearing a full set of armor is looking at the crowd in front of the guild, then the protesters, then the crowd again. He sighs.

"And here I was thinking the adventurer job was far from being such trending topic. Now, I wonder what undead rights have in common with recruiting adventurers..." He moves through the crowd, forcing his way through. When any person is going to complain, the draconic man simply stares intimidatingly, silencing any complaint.

When he arrives at the front, the draconic man speaks with the guild member in charge: "What is needed to join your guild? Is there any fixed payment or we are supposed to live only with what we loot?"



Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2015, 02:39:18 PM »
The only secretary is an oddly stacked sylvan woman whose skin has a slight greenish tint, and whose hair seems to be made of flowers.  Her teeth also seem worryingly sharp.

She takes your application and begins reading:

"No one here is named Shirly."

"This Demiplane is well outside the reach of both Mehpistopheles and Baator, no problems there."

"Not sure what a Pastafarian is.  Do you have a problem with ghosts?"

"I ain't afraid of no ghosts, if that's what you mean. Don't have anything against them either. Why, my father was a ghost... for a while after he died, anyways."
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2015, 06:53:05 PM »

"Excuse me, but I have been hearing rumors that this guild was accepting applications.  I would like to inquire as to the truth of such statements and if true how one would go about beginning the application process."

She hands you a pen and paper  http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=750.msg31065#msg31065

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2015, 06:54:15 PM »
A rather grizzled fellow, eyes tucked beneath bushy brows, glances over at the competing and unruly crowds before shrugging and shoving his way through the pack. There were always idiots in the world, and he didn't feel any need to waste more time than usual looking at them. Unless he could perhaps kill one or two for entertainment? Probably not allowed without a contract of some sort. Pity.

Bumping aside a much smaller man who was hovering at the open door of the guild and peering inside, he ducks under the doorway, stretches to his full height, and poses. "As I am truly magnificent, I suggest you employ me. Quickly!"

"Have a seat and fill out the application."  http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=750.msg31065#msg31065

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2015, 06:55:14 PM »

When he arrives at the front, the draconic man speaks with the guild member in charge: "What is needed to join your guild? Is there any fixed payment or we are supposed to live only with what we loot?"

"have a seat and fill this out."  http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=750.msg31065#msg31065

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2015, 06:56:46 PM »
"I ain't afraid of no ghosts, if that's what you mean. Don't have anything against them either. Why, my father was a ghost... for a while after he died, anyways."

You hear a disembodied female voice say "Are you a pirate? "

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2015, 07:14:52 PM »
Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline Risada

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2067
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2015, 07:33:34 PM »
After filling the form, Kulgan delivers it to the guild worker. "Here it is. But can I say something? Too much useless stuff in there. When do you announce who is in?"


(click to show/hide)

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2015, 10:50:12 PM »
Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."

"So you got pirate cooties?  We don't cotton to no pirate cooties 'round here."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2015, 10:53:10 PM »
After filling the form, Kulgan delivers it to the guild worker. "Here it is. But can I say something? Too much useless stuff in there. When do you announce who is in?"



"Likely today depending on how many people are cra...er in need of work today."

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2015, 11:54:42 PM »
Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."

"So you got pirate cooties?  We don't cotton to no pirate cooties 'round here."
"Fear not, I've had my vaccinations."
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14249
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #16 on: September 10, 2015, 02:28:50 AM »
Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."

"So you got pirate cooties?  We don't cotton to no pirate cooties 'round here."
"Fear not, I've had my vaccinations."

Another feminine voice joins the first:

"I call dibs on haunting his room."

"You can't call dibs on haunting yet, the other girls haven't woken up."

"Dibs."

"You should at least let the others get a chance to see him..."

"DIBS GAWDAMMIT!"



The receptionist/secretary clears her throat: "Ahem.  As some of you may not know our Guild Headquarters used to be known as the Velvet  Fist, the cities most famous and tragic brothel.  Now known as it's most haunted brothel."

From outside: "Kill the ghost whores!"


"Scuse me a moment."

She pulls a wand from her desk, opens the door and raps off a few shots, before closing it and calmly sitting back down.

"Perchance might any of you have problems with ghosts or be unwilling to sign a non-disclosure agreement?"

Offline Vladeshi

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 322
  • Feel free to ignore me.
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2015, 03:29:46 AM »
Pat scans over the paper and then quickly fills it out and returns it.

"Here you go."

(click to show/hide)

"No real problems with ghosts and it would depend on the wording of the non-disclosure agreement."

He then gestures towards the door.

"Is this a normal occurrence?"
« Last Edit: September 10, 2015, 04:25:34 AM by Vladeshi »
The following explanation has been removed due to time constraints, character limits on posts, and the DC 30 Spellcraft checks to understand large portions of it.

Offline Stratovarius

  • Forum Host
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 6187
  • Arhosan Emperor
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2015, 08:00:51 AM »
"Have a seat and fill out the application."  http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=750.msg31065#msg31065

The giant of a man attempts his best glare at the receptionist, but does as he's asked. In a very rough, crayon, scribble. Writing isn't high on the list of education for pillager kings.

"There, I am done with your silly application. Now employee me. Or I shall start removing the fixtures and selling them to the reasonably talented fence who lives across the street. He's also got a 10% discount if you mention my name to him on the last day of the month." A shrug followed. "I like to advertise for my friends when I can."

(click to show/hide)

Offline ketaro

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3722
  • I'm always new!
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2015, 08:18:20 AM »
Slithering in through the front door, a many-armed snake woman makes her appearance at this place of establishment; seemingly coming in at the end of a line of other people...it seems.

"Is this where one can alleviate sudden cases of boredom? Things have been awfully dull of late...And solicited murder sprees and burglaries sounded like the proper diversion between work."

Noticing what looked like some fairly lengthy applications, she sheepishly added to her intro. "Is all that necessary...? Uh, mm, what if I said I can't write? Or read. Or...lots of words I can't be bothered with?"