Author Topic: Pimpin'  (Read 17033 times)

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2013, 01:58:05 AM »
"Thank you. "

What looks like a Succubus wanders over to Goober "I want what you gave him." *points at Kintal*

"Fuck you.  Goober not slave no more.  You take beer and like it."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Goober said you fat ho who convinces men to turn to goats rather than put wiener in you.  You deaf too."

Goober returns to bartending.

You can practically see lightning crystallizing around the demoness.


Offline Flay Crimsonwind

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1607
  • The devil so nice, they damned him thrice.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #21 on: May 04, 2013, 05:21:57 AM »
"On a personal note, and I may be overstepping my bounds by saying anything personally..... I am beginning to find this place more fascinating than worrying...." He kept his eyes on the succubus while asking Goober for an alcoholic beverage. "Surprise me, I'm open to new ideas.... but I want to be physically and mentally intact after." Fascinated, but not dumb, he still looked as though he were concerned with what Goober might give him.
« Last Edit: May 04, 2013, 05:23:30 AM by Flay Crimsonwind »
I'm here and ready to keep confusing the hell out of everyone I meet.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #22 on: May 04, 2013, 04:03:33 PM »
The Succubus wanders over

"FUCK YOU MORTAL YOU WAIT YOUR TURN!!"

she turns on Goober

"HOW DARE YOU?"

"Goober reserve right to refuse service.  Also, you fat."

The Succubus pulls a rod...

Offline Flay Crimsonwind

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1607
  • The devil so nice, they damned him thrice.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #23 on: May 05, 2013, 02:06:54 AM »
Zachs thumb popped the blade loose of his scabbard. The action was emphasized by his hand raising the sword so it is visible despite his sitting down. The rest of him didn't move, but a wave of murderous intent, a nauseating wave of danger, flowed off of him. It was felt by all around him, but his stare fixed on the succubus. "Please have a drink with us. I would hate to drink alone; perhaps you'd like some company?" He didn't know what this woman was, but he suspected she had a soft spot for tempting mortal men. He didn't particularly desire to cut someone*, if it could be avoided, and it was quite possible he would benefit with more practice in manipulating with words.

*It should be noted this is a horrible lie. He was a damned good swordsman (arguably amplified by his terrifying murderous intent) and he enjoyed his work. It was just that he didn't seem half as capable of murder in this world, and he had been trying to think of ways he might enhance his efficacy.

(click to show/hide)
I'm here and ready to keep confusing the hell out of everyone I meet.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #24 on: May 05, 2013, 02:34:09 AM »
"Of course I would like a drink and company fine sire, but I would also LIKE THIS FAT TOAD TO REMEMBER HIS PLACE!"

She looks like she may put the rod away to continue schmoozing you when Goober pulls a long, dangerous metal tube with a handgrip of some sort from behind the bar and aims it at her.

You know it's dangerous because a majority of the bar patrons yell 'fuck!' and dive for cover.

"Goober not toad.  Goober not let you do to him what you do to other men.  Goober serious despite habit of talking in third person.  You go way now."

She backs away slowly out the door with jaw clenched and Goober puts the tube away.

He pulls a bottle from a clay pot in the fire and carefully pours a clear liquid into a glass.

"It's best if you wait for it to cool off a little."  :D

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8172
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #25 on: May 06, 2013, 07:37:05 AM »
"Hey, Goober! What was that thing? It looked awesome."
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #26 on: May 06, 2013, 01:51:14 PM »
"Goober finally found bar that let him experiment with making own alcohols.  Goober hope to be big success!"  :D

"Goober once ran large distillery in the Abyss."

"Oh wait you mean gun?  Goober has one for bar defense.  Is like wand except anyone can use them not just wizardy types.  But they can be spensive."
« Last Edit: May 06, 2013, 02:09:12 PM by bhu »

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8172
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #27 on: May 06, 2013, 02:57:21 PM »
"Oh, awesome. Remind me to come down here on a night off for some of that red smoky stuff."
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #28 on: May 06, 2013, 03:50:52 PM »
"That for demons.  Will have something else for you.  Tell ghost wimmens to drop by.  Goober hook them up too."   :D

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8172
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #29 on: May 06, 2013, 04:19:57 PM »
"Oh! That being said, do you have anything they can drink? I'd like to pick up a bottle of something... classy. For a friend. And maybe something I can drink too, as well."
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #30 on: May 06, 2013, 06:52:29 PM »
He plops down 2 bottles.  "One for you, one for her.  Da white one is for her, you no drinkee.  Dat be 5 gold plz."  :D

Offline Flay Crimsonwind

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1607
  • The devil so nice, they damned him thrice.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #31 on: May 06, 2013, 09:49:52 PM »
Zach gave it plenty of time, until he could no longer see the heat steaming off the top. Picking it up, cautious and testing, he gave it a quick examination. "A gun, you said? Like a wand..." He'd no idea what either of those things were or did, but if it could be used by anyone, he figured that meant him too. He'd have to see if Goober wouldn't show him it, but first he downed the drink....
I'm here and ready to keep confusing the hell out of everyone I meet.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #32 on: May 07, 2013, 12:49:33 AM »
You all see Zach's eyes glaze over for long moments as he endures the following:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibz0wFEUqp4

You reawaken to see Goober peering at you closely.  "Hmmm...might've overcooked that one..."

Offline Flay Crimsonwind

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1607
  • The devil so nice, they damned him thrice.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #33 on: May 07, 2013, 01:51:05 AM »
Zach neither moves, nor replies, nor does his facial expression change. Instead, an incredible neutrality of all emotion and movement befalls him.
I'm here and ready to keep confusing the hell out of everyone I meet.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #34 on: May 07, 2013, 02:12:06 AM »
Goober pats you on the head. 

"Goober sorry.  He not charge."  :bigeyes

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8172
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #35 on: May 07, 2013, 06:44:20 AM »
He plops down 2 bottles.  "One for you, one for her.  Da white one is for her, you no drinkee.  Dat be 5 gold plz."  :D
"Thanks, bud!"

Mustave slides six gold coins across to him, and carefully stashes the bottles in his pack, wrapping them with the same wadding he uses for his flasks.
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.

Offline Sir Shadow

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 275
  • You don't know me like that.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #36 on: May 07, 2013, 12:04:54 PM »
Bartholomeow isn't exactly pleased that Zach is experimenting with the strange concoction... he pokes the ronin cautiously, "Uh... is this supposed to happen?"

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #37 on: May 07, 2013, 04:00:24 PM »
Goober slides a green cocktail towards Bartholomeow.

It smells enticingly of mint (of which family catnip is a member).

"Your drink already paid for, complements of ... um.. yer friends."

Offline Flay Crimsonwind

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1607
  • The devil so nice, they damned him thrice.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #38 on: May 07, 2013, 05:18:59 PM »
Zach inhaled suddenly. He had seen something. Was it madness? A warning of things to come? He couldn't be sure. "Goober, you are a craftsman and an artist. Feel no shame in your work." He said this moving only his mouth, granted, but he liked Goober. He took another moment to regain himself, and once he had he waited to make sure Bart didn't explode post drink.
I'm here and ready to keep confusing the hell out of everyone I meet.

Offline Sir Shadow

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 275
  • You don't know me like that.
    • View Profile
Re: Pimpin'
« Reply #39 on: May 08, 2013, 01:20:52 AM »
If Bartholomeow's ears were capable of pointing back, they would have. He eyed the drink suspiciously, glancing from it to Goober and back several times, "Friends, huh?" Still, he slid his hand toward it slowly before picking it up and sniffing it. Big mistake. The scent was far too enticing to his feline sensibilities; he simply had to taste it.

*GULP*

And the deed was done.