Author Topic: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life  (Read 180226 times)

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #320 on: December 16, 2018, 09:47:19 AM »
You know, it's weird I have to say this, but I've never been more glad to agree with you on something.
Would you mind if I copied this text and showed it to a few friends of mine?
Go ahead.

Also, remember T'Chaka's role in the Sokovia Accords and how the love interest Nakia was on an operation to halt hunter/human trafficking. In the nerd mapped timeline, the events in the Black Panther film end in 07-07-2016 but Thanos doesn't arrive until 03-26-2018 giving T'Challa two years of rule to come up with a better open door policy than "We're still hiding." You know, in case someone tries to say Wakanda was totally isolated until Killmonger changed T'Challa's mind. ;)
« Last Edit: December 17, 2018, 12:02:47 AM by SorO_Lost »

Offline bhu

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #321 on: December 17, 2018, 07:28:06 PM »
If it makes you feel better people have come around and are widely referring to Killmonger as a hotep now.

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #322 on: December 17, 2018, 08:20:49 PM »
If it makes you feel better people have come around and are widely referring to Killmonger as a hotep now.
Like the original meaning of the word or the pro-black anti-progressive usage?

And that's also kind of interesting. In the Museum scene the first mask pointed out is Bobo Ashanti and they believe black supremacy part of their religion and they consider them selves the true Israelites. He also scarred his body after killing an enemy similar to the Surma people. If I'm not mistaken, both groups do not allow female leadership.

Offline brujon

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #323 on: December 17, 2018, 09:15:51 PM »
Life is fucking hard yo
"All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing his Don Quixote in a miserable prison" - Schopenhauer, Aphorisms: The Wisdom of Life

Offline bhu

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #324 on: December 17, 2018, 10:45:59 PM »
If it makes you feel better people have come around and are widely referring to Killmonger as a hotep now.
Like the original meaning of the word or the pro-black anti-progressive usage?

And that's also kind of interesting. In the Museum scene the first mask pointed out is Bobo Ashanti and they believe black supremacy part of their religion and they consider them selves the true Israelites. He also scarred his body after killing an enemy similar to the Surma people. If I'm not mistaken, both groups do not allow female leadership.

the anti-feminist, anti-gay version

Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #325 on: December 20, 2018, 04:52:16 PM »
I go to the men's room.

Dude is 2 hand texting while doing his business.
I finish.
His pants drop.
He turns to catch them and drops his phone into the urinal.
Ahhhh !
He immediately fishes it out, re-dropping his pants.
Ugghhh !
I'm aware now he's as drunk as a person can be and still be roughly mobile.
He tries to re- pick up his pants, re-dropping the phone right back into the urinal.
Oooo-ooo !
I'm about to leave and evil aDMg perches on my shoulder.
Hey ... your mom is an idiot too.
Arrrrr !!!
While the door is closing, dude lunges but trips on his pants, falls.
Smack.  Phone skitters across the tile floor.
He dog whines like he needs to be let in from outdoors, for the effectively same reason.
Door closes.
I walk off ... Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World piped in the background.

end scene
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Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #327 on: December 21, 2018, 01:35:21 PM »
the anti-feminist, anti-gay version
Interesting and it's kudos to the film's design team for creating such a film full of stuff for people to pick at.

I don't know if he is really anti-feminist/gay through. He likes and steals a mask believed to be based around Mgbedike (time of the brave mask) from the Igbo people. They wore a mask to enforce order and express social values but it embodies a wilderness spirit that is aggressive, brash, powerful, and stubborn. It's people also have a well known story about the Igbo Landing where several captured slaves overthrew a slave ship and committed suicide at sea rather than becoming slaves. And I feel like it's a metaphor for part of his character's intended attributes. His social values are just kind of hard to pin down, clearly he is up for making racist remarks and comparisons that draw attention to various things. But to me it's a mask. Deep down he's just a kid who wants revenge and he doesn't want to let him self cry about his father. Like a reverse Batman.

Offline altpersona

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #328 on: December 21, 2018, 03:13:43 PM »
I am livid, so much so that I am compelled to mention it online.

the details dont matter much... mr's n kid pissin in my cheerio's...  :shakefist :shakefist :shakefist :shakefist :banghead >:( :fu :pout
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #329 on: December 22, 2018, 03:15:33 PM »
Ah that sucks  :(

Where would life be, without at least a little X-mas Family drama.



Killmonger specialized in destabilizing big G and little g governments.
Do it for the "good guys" and it's good.
Do it for the "bad guys" and it's bad.
Anarchist just want him to do it, regardless of outcome.
Some Internationalists don't want him to do it, also regardless of outcome.
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Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #330 on: December 22, 2018, 06:55:00 PM »
Yep, pretty much the same deal with weapons.

They are only good if you use them on people those other people say are bad.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #331 on: December 22, 2018, 07:46:40 PM »
Yep, pretty much the same deal with weapons.

They are only good if you use them on people those other people say are bad.
I'd say there's a reason we're so hung up on state-sanctioned murder if that's anything to go by.
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #332 on: December 29, 2018, 03:20:02 PM »

 :cheers

:drunk

Happy New Years to everybody.

:surrender
 :P
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Offline Keldar

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #333 on: January 01, 2019, 01:53:18 PM »
And a hoppy new beer.

Offline brujon

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #334 on: January 08, 2019, 01:32:54 AM »
Well, ten years ago i did my exams and got into Pharmacological Sciences as my bachelor degree. I was so enamored by psychedelics, psychotropics and other mind altering drugs... Mesmerized as i was, i went in blind thinking it'd be a natural knack. And it wasn't, and i dropped out. Over ten years later, i went ahead and got some "empirical" evidence of their "effectiveness" and "effects". After some binging, some time as a lost soul, i finally found my ground again. As much as drugs change your mindset, as much as they go and make you see things through a different light, a different point of view... Nothing matters unless you listen to them. And i did listen. And i quit. And quitting was the best decision i'd ever made.

TBH, quitting seemed like what the drugs wanted me to do. I felt rejected by them. Like "you don't need me, go fuck yourself". They showed me what i needed to see, and then continuously kicked me in the butt until i gave up.

Now i can see the beauty in everything, and i feel absolutely no need to use anything. And if i do, it's over and done with it. No hard drugs, no synthetics....

feels like a small accomplishment
"All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing his Don Quixote in a miserable prison" - Schopenhauer, Aphorisms: The Wisdom of Life

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #335 on: January 08, 2019, 08:55:56 AM »
It may feel like a small accomplishment but it was a large one Brujon. Congratulations.

And now looking at it in hindsight, you can see the lies people tell them selves and the confirmation bias. That's a pretty important lesson on it's own.

Offline brujon

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #336 on: January 08, 2019, 01:07:28 PM »
It may feel like a small accomplishment but it was a large one Brujon. Congratulations.

And now looking at it in hindsight, you can see the lies people tell them selves and the confirmation bias. That's a pretty important lesson on it's own.

Yup. Pretty much, i had a lot of fun, a lot more good experiences than bad ones, but the few bad ones i did had, and the few times that i did go overboard with them, and the time i finally felt that if i continue down this road it will NOT go well for me, and i decided that enough's enough, and it's been great.

Finally getting to a point where my meds are actually working has been amazing, it's like i'm a completely different person now. I can think way more clearly, way less emotionally and more rationally at things. I don't do things by impulse anymore, but think rather than act immediately.

For so many years i've struggled to really accept that i do, in fact, have a problem and that i need to take my meds. For years i've been misdiagnosed, taking drugs that rather than help me just neutered me and left me not feeling really like myself. But now i do accept that i'm bipolar, and i'll always be, and i need to take my meds or i'll go down the same way my uncle did, putting a bullet inside my own head. Bipolars are at an extremely high risk of suicide, it's a fucking frightening thing. Even now when i look back at some of the shit i did, some of the shit i wrote, some of the shit i felt when i was down, or how much i've hurt people (not physically) when i was drunk with power during my manic phases, my choleric outbursts, anger issues and overall lack of impulse control, i shudder.

And yet for so many years i neglected to better myself. I ran rather than faced any of my issues. I repeatedly bashed my head against the same wall, making the same mistake, over and over again, and stupidly wondered, just why the fuck am i getting the same results. Almost as if i was seeking to hurt myself, almost as if i wanted to feel bad, wanted to feel disappointed.

I chased an impossibility, a life where there are no hardships, no unexpectedness, a life where i'm fully in control, fully happy, all the time. Even my drug use was motivated by this, at least in part. When i got to clubbing, i went hard, i went to 4 to 5 nights a week, i barely slept 20 to 30 hours the entire week. I shot my stomach to hell, i became emaciated, eyebags so deep and purple it was obvious to all that i was on something most of the time. Even had to do coke sometimes just to get through a day's work. Eventually i did kick it back a notch, to a more normal level, but all this thrill-seeking behavior, this unhealthy obssession over being happy or having fun all the time would be the death of me, eventually, had i not come to the conclusion that i had to face up to my issues.

It's actually been a slow process, something in the making from way back to 2015, when i first started to really write, to really try to understand myself, my mind, to introspect and find within myself the flaws, and the means to better them, to conquer them, surpass them and find the strength to become a better man and human being. I started to deliberately think and do things, i started to search for a purpose for all of the things that i did.

If i did something, i did it because i wanted to. My first lesson to myself was that i was going to erase the word "regret" from my vocabulary, and it did wonders for me. Learning to let go of the past, to not question oneself, was a very good lesson that i learned, but it wasn't enough. I already knew, and had already written, that i can't control everything, and that i must learn to let go. I must learn to know when i can or can't prevent something from happening, separate problems into the "impossible" and "possible" categories, and really learn to see that "impossible" problems are not problems at all because problems imply a solution, and if something can't be remedied, than it's not use mulling over it, you just accept it as fact and move on.

But it's extremely hard, to introspect enough and find within oneself the drive and will to learn that it's much better to learn to react than it is to try and control events around you. As intelligent human beings we have the instinct of trying to use that cunning and understanding of the world to try and bend it to our will, make it conform to our desires, make it serve us and our purposes. We get frustrated, and feel small and diminished, when our wants are not met, our needs not fulfilled, and we're forced to admit that we can't do everything, that you're not so beautiful, or not so tall, not so smart, no so wealthy, not so dextrous, not so talented.

I had cast out the word "regret" but was struggling with "disappointment". I need to stop getting disappointed with myself, i needed to stop thinking that i need to somehow achieve X or Y in order to get valuable. I need to stop thinking that if i don't have X or Y i'll be judged by other people, seen as lesser. This need to impress, this care for what others think has to stop, and the self must prevail.

This is what i struggle with the most, but i am deliberately and purposefully attacking the problem, i'm consciously aware of every time that i fail to do this, and try and remedy it as best i can.

I never cared much for psychology, or psychologists in general. Nobody ever understood why. This is why. I introspect, a lot. I really try to go deep into myself, try to better, try to systematize. I'm my own psychologist, and i'm much better at fixing myself than anybody ever will. Only I, and I alone has the full breadth of knowledge in the subject matter of myself. I'm the utmost and foremost expert in the matter of the self. Nobody, no matter how hard they try, how long they know me, will ever know as much as i do about me. I'm the best qualified to do so, and so, i will treat myself as a problem that needs fixing, and apply solutions to fix it.

It's not too hard if i dettach myself enough, if i write about it, if i create a system, analyse it purposefully and coldly, scientifically. Like it was anything else, like it was an essay, a test, an exam or whatever. There's a problem needs fixing, i need to find and apply the solution. I'm good at this sort of thing.

Glad to say it's working, at last! But for how long?

It's too early to say that i finally figured everything out. BUT, that i'm better than ever, this much is certain. And i do so hope that no matter the hardships to come, that i've learned enough to surpass and overcome, come out stronger the other end, rather than crumble like a house of cards at the slightest gust of wind.
"All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing his Don Quixote in a miserable prison" - Schopenhauer, Aphorisms: The Wisdom of Life

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #337 on: January 08, 2019, 01:52:48 PM »
Glad to say it's working, at last! But for how long?
It depends.

So I like the table leg analogy for this one. If you build a life built on one thing, such as drug abuse & partying which is a pretty rickety leg anyway, it's pretty easy to tip the table over and send everything on it crashing to the floor. Your acceptance of your real self can be considered a leg too, and it's a lot sturdier than one that sits on a couple books of a delusional self image someone can simply kick apart. You can count bringing a disorder under control to be support too but you need to understand it can collapse if you lose medication access.

You should build your self-esteem and even your life with as many pillars as you can to make things as stable as possible. Identify them and how they are made, such as your house or job, and realistically look at how they can collapse. By having a plan you can add braces to a table leg or construct new ones. Like a source of income is nothing more than a leg too, it's an important one, but it's a leg because if you lose your job everything that requires money goes bye-bye without another job or leg to take the weight of owning several things.

That's also why people feel like their stuff owns them or they work to pay bills btw. They piled a lot of heavy stuff onto one end of their table and are trying to balance it all on financial resources. It's pretty easy to topple their entire lives in just about every way by nudging it, and the insecurity of it leads to other issues too.

Offline brujon

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #338 on: January 08, 2019, 02:09:37 PM »
Glad to say it's working, at last! But for how long?
It depends.

So I like the table leg analogy for this one. If you build a life built on one thing, such as drug abuse & partying which is a pretty rickety leg anyway, it's pretty easy to tip the table over and send everything on it crashing to the floor. Your acceptance of your real self can be considered a leg too, and it's a lot sturdier than one that sits on a couple books of a delusional self image someone can simply kick apart. You can count bringing a disorder under control to be support too but you need to understand it can collapse if you lose medication access.

You should build your self-esteem and even your life with as many pillars as you can to make things as stable as possible. Identify them and how they are made, such as your house or job, and realistically look at how they can collapse. By having a plan you can add braces to a table leg or construct new ones. Like a source of income is nothing more than a leg too, it's an important one, but it's a leg because if you lose your job everything that requires money goes bye-bye without another job or leg to take the weight of owning several things.

That's also why people feel like their stuff owns them or they work to pay bills btw. They piled a lot of heavy stuff onto one end of their table and are trying to balance it all on financial resources. It's pretty easy to topple their entire lives in just about every way by nudging it, and the insecurity of it leads to other issues too.

That's a pretty solid advice. That's exactly what i'm doing and will be doing going forward, working not only in managing inner demons, but in actually building up my support structures as well. Taking care of my physical health, my friendships and relationships, my family, getting a better job/promotions, continue my MBA, get my Masters and PHD. Basically, continued self improvement on all fronts.

Taking care, of course, not to overwhelm myself, so that i don't fall into the trap of trying to do too much and ending up not being able to do anything at all.
"All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing his Don Quixote in a miserable prison" - Schopenhauer, Aphorisms: The Wisdom of Life

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #339 on: January 08, 2019, 03:37:17 PM »
It sounds great. :)
You just have to keep at it and be willing to pick some stuff off if it falls.  ;)