The only secretary is an oddly stacked sylvan woman whose skin has a slight greenish tint, and whose hair seems to be made of flowers. Her teeth also seem worryingly sharp.
She takes your application and begins reading:
"No one here is named Shirly."
"This Demiplane is well outside the reach of both Mehpistopheles and Baator, no problems there."
"Not sure what a Pastafarian is. Do you have a problem with ghosts?"
"Excuse me, but I have been hearing rumors that this guild was accepting applications. I would like to inquire as to the truth of such statements and if true how one would go about beginning the application process."
A rather grizzled fellow, eyes tucked beneath bushy brows, glances over at the competing and unruly crowds before shrugging and shoving his way through the pack. There were always idiots in the world, and he didn't feel any need to waste more time than usual looking at them. Unless he could perhaps kill one or two for entertainment? Probably not allowed without a contract of some sort. Pity.
Bumping aside a much smaller man who was hovering at the open door of the guild and peering inside, he ducks under the doorway, stretches to his full height, and poses. "As I am truly magnificent, I suggest you employ me. Quickly!"
When he arrives at the front, the draconic man speaks with the guild member in charge: "What is needed to join your guild? Is there any fixed payment or we are supposed to live only with what we loot?"
"I ain't afraid of no ghosts, if that's what you mean. Don't have anything against them either. Why, my father was a ghost... for a while after he died, anyways."
Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."
After filling the form, Kulgan delivers it to the guild worker. "Here it is. But can I say something? Too much useless stuff in there. When do you announce who is in?"
"Fear not, I've had my vaccinations."Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."
"So you got pirate cooties? We don't cotton to no pirate cooties 'round here."
"Fear not, I've had my vaccinations."Wellesley looks around curiously. "Ma'am, I am personally given to the term 'privateer'."
"So you got pirate cooties? We don't cotton to no pirate cooties 'round here."
"Have a seat and fill out the application." http://www.minmaxboards.com/index.php?topic=750.msg31065#msg31065
"Perchance might any of you have problems with ghosts or be unwilling to sign a non-disclosure agreement?"
"Is this a normal occurrence?"
Slithering in through the front door, a many-armed snake woman makes her appearance at this place of establishment; seemingly coming in at the end of a line of other people...it seems.
"Is this where one can alleviate sudden cases of boredom? Things have been awfully dull of late...And solicited murder sprees and burglaries sounded like the proper diversion between work."
Noticing what looked like some fairly lengthy applications, she sheepishly added to her intro. "Is all that necessary...? Uh, mm, what if I said I can't write? Or read. Or...lots of words I can't be bothered with?"
"Perchance might any of you have problems with ghosts or be unwilling to sign a non-disclosure agreement?"
"I have already written in that paper that I have no problems with undead... As long as they don't get on my nerves. And what kind of agreement are you talking about here? "
"What an interesting legal document," Wellesley says as he signs. When the subsequent text appears, he raises an eyebrow. "So what is it with this guild, and the ghost whores?"
Spotting the new arrival, Bloodaxe sweeps into a deep bow, gesturing for the lady to take his place in line. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Bloodaxe, former king of Rudvic and current charming rascal. Talents I shall gladly employ in your direction, for you have the most arresting features, m'lady. It's the snakes, you see. Always had a thing for them. Especially ones with a little bit of a thing for murder sprees."
"Mostly we'd prefer to know if you have a problem with ghosts or singing a non-disclosure agreement. The form is mostly to warn us of whats coming if we hire you."
"And the crowd outside?"
"Oooh, you knooow, the usual things that come with contracting demons for services~ Usually anything you want. Yes?"
"Oh really now? Having a thing for snakes is usually how people meet me. " she responds with a coy smile, her tail slowly waving back and forth.
She passes out paperwork saying the following: I, the undersigned, do hereby agree not to willingly divulge the secrets of my Guild on penalty of having my soul eaten by Benny the God of Fear."
For those who sign:(click to show/hide)
Bloodaxe eyes the document before him, then shrugs and signs it. With "BRB, cooking bacon."
"There, signed. Now, when do we start pillag.... I mean, exploring ancient ruins and looting its valuable remains?" Says Kulgan in a rather eager tone.
The secretary gives you the stink eye. Your instincts tell you she is a lil tougher than she appears.
"How exciting! What's on the list right now?""There, signed. Now, when do we start pillag.... I mean, exploring ancient ruins and looting its valuable remains?" Says Kulgan in a rather eager tone.
"Soon as someone makes of us a request to do so. We get various assignments. Find my cheating husband. Find a sentient being I can cohabitate with. Guard my daughter from the Pit Fiends. Stop the Wights from ghost raping my people. You know various Adventurer's Guild type stuff."
Bloodaxe winks at her, slightly mesmerized by her flicking tail. "I pity those who haven't been able to hold up under your charms. There's such a world of delights they are missing out on."
Bloodaxe winks at her, slightly mesmerized by her flicking tail. "I pity those who haven't been able to hold up under your charms. There's such a world of delights they are missing out on."
"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.
"I figured 'kill the ghost whores' would be on the request list, no? It sounded like it'd be interesting to figure out how to kill a ghost. I mean, they're chanting that outside because they want you to do that, right?"
"How exciting! What's on the list right now?"
The secretary gives you the stink eye. Your instincts tell you she is a lil tougher than she appears.
He hands it back. "Madam, I prefer not to smell like a rotted corpse. I shall leave that to you."
Bloodaxe winks at her, slightly mesmerized by her flicking tail. "I pity those who haven't been able to hold up under your charms. There's such a world of delights they are missing out on."
"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.
"I figured 'kill the ghost whores' would be on the request list, no? It sounded like it'd be interesting to figure out how to kill a ghost. I mean, they're chanting that outside because they want you to do that, right?"
"No they're chanting it because they want to kill the poor cursed ghosts who live here and we're defying them. Worry not, once they figure out what you are there will be signs calling or your death as well."
"Soooo.......Is anybody else hearing 'Kill the mob outside' then or is that just me?"
"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.
"Soooo.......Is anybody else hearing 'Kill the mob outside' then or is that just me?"
"Or we could... hmm.... persuade the clerics to go elsewhere on a crusade?"
Bloodaxe eyes up the pig. "Someone needs to feed that poor bugger. He's too thin. Also, point taken. We shall pillage commoners instead. Or caves. Caves always have good loot and no one minds if you kill the smelly twits who live in them."
He's helping a naive villager avoid killing an abomination so he doesn't fulfill a prophecy, marry a witch and become a tyrant who rules his land with an iron fist. Should pay pretty well.
QuoteHe's helping a naive villager avoid killing an abomination so he doesn't fulfill a prophecy, marry a witch and become a tyrant who rules his land with an iron fist. Should pay pretty well.
Pardon, but is the villager marrying the witch, or the boss?
QuoteHe's helping a naive villager avoid killing an abomination so he doesn't fulfill a prophecy, marry a witch and become a tyrant who rules his land with an iron fist. Should pay pretty well.
Pardon, but is the villager marrying the witch, or the boss?
"Also sex between the living and the dead is kind of prohibited, so no ghostjobs, free or otherwise."Does that depend on what the definition of 'is' is?
"I have this bad feeling that not killing is a large part of the list."
"... well, I guess that simplifies things. Are we ready, me hearties?"
"Likely you'll be travelling in a high speed contraption the Gnomes call a plane. Assuming it doesn't blow up on take off."
"Alright, alright.... Put us in this plane and let's hope the gnomes won't kill us in embarassing ways..."
"I was under the impression that gnomes only killed in embarrassing ways."
"Alright, alright.... Put us in this plane and let's hope the gnomes won't kill us in embarassing ways..."
"I was under the impression that gnomes only killed in embarrassing ways."