Author Topic: The Glorious CHOKER HANDBOOK  (Read 9737 times)

Offline Libertad

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The Glorious CHOKER HANDBOOK
« on: August 24, 2012, 04:53:49 PM »
Credit goes to Cuindless for creating this awesome Handbook, Archao for the Half-Minotaur template idea, and Akalsaris for the idea behind the Wayne Brady build



OH MY GOD
THAT’S A FREAKIN’ CHOKER
I BET HE'S ROLLING FORTIES DOWN THE FREEWAY IN AN ESCALADE GOD DAMN

SO THESE POSTS ARE RESERVED.  DONT BE MAD BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING USEFUL WRITTEN IN THEM.  CHECK BACK IN A WEEK YOU IMPATIENT BASTARD.

Obviously I've simply ported over RabidPirateMan's epic "THIS IS A THREAD THAT WILL BECOME A HANDBOOK" thread from the old Wizards community forums. I've made a few edits for spelling and such, but that's about it. I do not want to claim originality, I just want BG to become a one stop shop for all your optimization needs, and the Choker is a badass monstrousity that should be here anyway.

Here's what you're thinking: What the hell is this thing, some kind of horrible cross between Cthulu and Robert Novak?
That's a freakin' Choker.
And it will own your mom.

What's that?  You need some proof to the man's aura of awesome-juice?  Why don't you open up the next spoiler tag.

(click to show/hide)

First, the stats:

+6 Str +4 Dex +2 Con +2 Wis
Take a look at that.  Beautiful.  Your strength is that of a Half-Ogre.  Your dexterity is that of two halflings.  Your constitution is that of a Welsh.  Your Wisdom lets you see into the future.  Not bad.
Well, to be honest, there is a bad...

-6 Int -4 Cha
Wow.  Intelligence goes DOWN.  Charisma is near unsalvageable.  Looks like you wont be wooing anyone with your knowledge of 12th Century poetic verse.  However, what do you care?  You're a Choker.  If someone asks your opinion on the application of a postmodern view of postmodernism, choke them.


Constrict (Ex)
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"HEY JERK I SAID SMALL SIZE, GRAPPLE SUCKS WITHOUT BEING LARGE SINCE YOU INCUR A PENALTY"

Improved Grab (Ex)

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BUT WAIT, ACT NOW AND YOU'LL GET THESE LIMITED TIME EXTRAS!

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"Aright, this seems a bit boring.  The stats are OK, and I'm sure you could do neat things with the grapple.  And who doesn't like extra initiative?  But RabidPirateMan, I don't see anything about the Choker yet that makes it deserve its own Handbook, even if it is as poorly written as yours."

Aright, lets throw you a curve ball.

Chokers get 10' Reach

"So what?  Half-Ogres have reach.  Heck, I could just use a spiked chain."

Yeah, well, the Choker?  SMALL SIZED CREATURE.
This guy has ten foot reach and he's as big as a halfling.  That interesting enough for ya?

THE BIG GUNS - What the Choker is really all about
So lets say that the above isn't enough for you.  The Choker has 3d8 Hit Die of Abberation tailing him, a massive penalty to Int and Cha, a semi counteractive grapple modification and reach as a small sized creature.  What is it that is so amazing about him? 

Its a little thing I like to call...

(click to show/hide)

WHAT THE HECK, DO YOU REALIZE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS THING?

AN EXTRA MOVE ACTION IS THE ABILITY TO REPOSITION YOURSELF.
AN EXTRA STANDARD ACTION IS THE ABILITY TO WHACK THAT GUY ONE MORE TIME AT YOUR HIGHEST BAB.
AN EXTRA MOVE ACTION IS NEVER HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT BEING PRONE.
AN EXTRA STANDARD ACTION IS ACTIVATING A WAND VIA UMD.
AN EXTRA MOVE ACTION IS OPENING A DOOR.  MY GOD YOU CAN OPEN DOORS ALL DAY LONG.
AN EXTRA STANDARD ACTION IS A SPELL FOR FREE.
AN EXTRA MOVE ACTION IS THE QUICKDRAW FEAT EXCEPT NOT STUPID AND EVERYONE EVEN FORGETS IT TAKES TIME TO UNSHEATHE YOUR WEAPON SO WHO CARES.
AN EXTRA STANDARD ACTION IS TURNING OFF CAPSLOCK.

For a comparison of versatility this thing has, check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRISkyV_B8.
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 05:37:42 PM by Libertad »

Offline Libertad

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Re: The Glorious CHOKER HANDBOOK
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2012, 05:09:40 PM »
ATTENTION: DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME WRITE THIS THING SO I CAN STUDY INSTEAD? WRITE ME UP A BLURB ABOUT HOW WELL THE SWORDSAGE, WARBLADE AND CRUSADER WORK WITH A CHOKER. I WILL ADD YOUR NAME TO THIS IMMORTAL HANDBOOK, AND WHEN WE ARE ALL DEAD, YOUR LEGACY WILL LIVE ON.

It's difficult to say what class best fits the Choker's Quickness. What class doesn't enjoy an extra move/standard action? This mode of thinking is not within the code of the Rabid Pirate. Gentlemen, think OUTSIDE THE BOX! Instead of asking what class compliments the Choker, ask what you would do if you could throw in an extra standard or move action.

Sadly, because of the Choker's stats, you wont be able to play certain classes to their effectiveness.

Here's the list so far.

Archivist

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Barbarian

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Bard

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Beguiler

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Cleric

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Dragon Shaman

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Dread Necromancer

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Druid

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Factotum

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Favored Soul

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Fighter

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Healer

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Hexblade

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Marshal

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Monk

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Ninja

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Paladin

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Psion

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Psychic Warrior

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Ranger

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Rogue

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Samurai

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Shugenja

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Sorcerer


Soulknife

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Spellthief

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Spirit Shaman

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Swashbuckler

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Warblade

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Warlock

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Warmage


Wilder

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Wizard

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Wujen

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« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 05:22:00 PM by Libertad »

Offline Libertad

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Re: The Glorious CHOKER HANDBOOK
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2012, 05:09:54 PM »
DO YOU HAVE BETTER VERSIONS OF THE BUILDS I SUPPLIED BELOW? DO YOU WANT TO ADD YOUR OWN SUPER COOL IDEAS? HIT REPLY AND I'LL TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM!

OK, so now you know what classes are good for a Choker. Its now time for...

TACTICS!!!

Thats right! Because the Choker is so weird and sexy, its better to try and base specific builds around him that simply finding out if he does well as a fighter or a truenamer.

So how are we going to do this? Start off by thinking you are playing DND. Now, imagine up a character for yourself. You're in the middle of the game, and suddenly, you think to yourself, "Gee, I sure wish I was a CHOKER right about now."

Now ask yourself- Why did you think that?

Other than I told you to do so, of course.

Well, after years of silent meditation under a waterfall, I've come up with a couple situations where Chokerdom might be useful.

FIRST UP: CHAAAARRRRGGEEE 

(click to show/hide)

 
Hmm... Extra standard action... Extra standard action... What is an extra standard action? I know I can swing my weapon, and I know I can open doors...

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Coming up next, SPELL-uh, well... CASTING... just open the damn tab.

(click to show/hide)

WHAT THE CHOKER DOES BEST: CHOKING

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 05:32:21 PM by Libertad »

Offline Libertad

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Re: The Glorious CHOKER HANDBOOK
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2012, 05:10:05 PM »
FEATS

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TEMPLATES

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ALTERNATE PROGRESSIONS

ITEMS

SPELLS

MANEUVERS AND STANCES

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MISCELLANEOUS TRICKS
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 05:33:58 PM by Libertad »

Offline Libertad

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Re: The Glorious CHOKER HANDBOOK
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2012, 05:32:33 PM »
And reserved!