Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM could say  (Read 112851 times)

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #60 on: February 29, 2012, 10:53:20 PM »
"What the Hell is MRSA?"

Offline SorO_Lost

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 7197
  • Banned
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #61 on: March 02, 2012, 08:26:28 PM »

"Meet Ichigo, he's a Shinigami."
When meeting a new NPC.

"Insert a quarter to continue."
After you die, horribly and unfairly.

"Familiars are very over powered."
DM on balance.

"This game needs more cowbell."
DM hooked on the wrong wiki.

"Barkeep has six Divine Ranks"
DM on NPC interaction in the local tavern.

"You see 0 invisible traps"
DM on Search results.

"Shut up, we're not friends."
DM on teamwork.

Offline Libertad

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3618
    • View Profile
    • My Fantasy and Gaming Blog
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #62 on: March 02, 2012, 10:59:32 PM »
"Religious people have Intelligence caps."
~Aggressively atheist DM I had the misfortune of hearing about.

"And the same for women."
At which point the game table devolved into a flame war.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2012, 11:04:03 PM by Libertad »

Offline littha

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2952
  • +1 Holy Muffin
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #63 on: March 02, 2012, 11:10:17 PM »
"Stats are 3d6, in order"
-Something one of my DMs actually said, after you chose your class too... I ended up playing a Druid with 4 Wis. I was still better than most of the rest of the party even without the spellcasting.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #64 on: March 02, 2012, 11:45:45 PM »
"Fighters Don't need magic items."

Offline JohnnyMayHymn

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 762
  • Former Lord of the Kitchen Sink
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #65 on: March 02, 2012, 11:48:11 PM »
"Now, roll for anal circumference..."
The Emperor
Can you find the Wumpus?

Offline phaedrusxy

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 10708
  • The iconic spambot
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #66 on: March 03, 2012, 12:02:30 AM »
That's what your Mom said.
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #67 on: March 04, 2012, 12:49:31 AM »
"Now, roll for anal circumference..."

"Next Session: Meet the Arseplomancer"
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline Balmas

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • **
  • Posts: 78
  • I'm new!
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #68 on: March 04, 2012, 10:30:18 AM »
"Sorry.  You can't do that."

"The DM is your God."

"Guess what I just rolled."

"Now hold on a second!  Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!" ~Pinkie Pie

My Monster Manual lies to me:  it states that a pegasus is white or occasionally brown when everyone knows that pegasi ought to be blue with rainbow stripes.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #69 on: March 04, 2012, 02:27:15 PM »
"Fuck gaming, lets talk politics."

Offline Surreal

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Posts: 168
  • the former librarian
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #70 on: March 04, 2012, 05:46:56 PM »
Actual lines from DMs...

"you critically fumble your loincloth"

"no dragonborn, they're too overpowered"

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8172
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #71 on: March 04, 2012, 07:52:35 PM »
"Core only. It's more balanced."
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.

Offline Libertad

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3618
    • View Profile
    • My Fantasy and Gaming Blog
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #72 on: March 05, 2012, 01:02:27 AM »
"Core only. It's more balanced."

"Core only.  I hate munchkins."

"Core only.  Wizards > Fighters."

"Druids aren't overpowered, silly goose!"

"My adventures contain S&M.  Problems?"

"Dominate Person.  Now remove clothes."

"Dragon sex is so hot!"
« Last Edit: March 05, 2012, 01:16:01 AM by Libertad »

Offline Jackinthegreen

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 6176
  • I like green.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #73 on: March 10, 2012, 02:52:05 AM »
"Let me use my calculator..."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 16054
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #74 on: March 10, 2012, 12:02:10 PM »
"Elves are Gay.  No exceptions."

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #75 on: March 10, 2012, 12:07:03 PM »
I'm going to say this in both threads.

Anything on Mr. Welch's list.


(It is 5 words, just not a quote in and of itself.)
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline InnaBinder

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1244
  • Onna table
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #76 on: March 11, 2012, 09:00:03 PM »
"Let's play Spawn of Fashan!"
Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics.  Even if you win, you're still retarded.

shugenja handbook; talk about it here

Offline McBeardly

  • Full Member
  • **
  • Posts: 110
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #77 on: March 12, 2012, 04:38:36 AM »
"No splatbooks, they are overpowered"

Offline The_Laughing_Man

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 335
  • 笑い男
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #78 on: March 13, 2012, 01:12:41 PM »
"Flying is not allowed."

"It's more balanced this way."

"There is no teleportation either."

"Prestidigation is op. It's out."

"These spells are banned."

"No ropetricking. Camp by the fire."

"Bag of holding is banned."

Offline Lars

  • Lurker
  • *
  • Posts: 23
  • I'm new!<< Thats what I say when i get some
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #79 on: March 19, 2012, 09:38:07 AM »
"The final boss is Pun-pun."

"The story is all Giovanni." (Toredor would be just as bad)

"new guys are Brazilian Cops" :)

Tonight: "Adventures designed by Gary Gygax" (I will so go Tomb of Horrors on my PC's someday)

Why brazilian cops are bad!
(like in legendary bad)
(click to show/hide)

Thanks for reminding me of that story