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Topics - bhu

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1
Oslecamo's Improved Monster Classes / Tasoth
« on: April 08, 2018, 10:59:09 PM »
wip, I had another request.

TASOTH

These are the Tasoth lizardmen from X-Com.

Class Skills
 The Tasoth's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Hide (Dex), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Spot (Wis), and Swim (Str).
Skills Points at Each  Level : 2 + int

Hit Dice: d8

Code: [Select]
[b]   BAB  Fort    Ref    Will  Abilities[/b]
1. +1    +0     +2     +2    Tasoth Body, Amphibious, Swim, Vulnerabilities
2. +2    +0     +3     +3    Armored Scales
3. +3    +1     +3     +3    Resistances
4. +4    +1     +4     +4   
   

Weapon Proficiencies: Tasoth are proficient with Simple and Martial weapons, but no Armor or Shields.

2
Off Topic Fun / A random movie review
« on: March 03, 2018, 12:27:23 AM »
Sometimes my job sends me weird shit.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5265960/

The Untamed (2016)
98 minutes
Spanish w/English subtitles
Multi-genre film

So this was described to be as "Spanish erotic arthouse drama meets Cthulhu." It's not quitethat, but it is damn weird, but I'm not really sure who to recommend it to. Tentacle porn fans will be bored that there isn't enough shokushu. Fans of relationship drama will be wondering "wtf is tentacle porn randomly inserted into this movie?" And there isn't enough horror to satisfy most traditional horror fans. Like sex? The film depicts it as a vulgar, primitive and sordid habit that brings misery, pain and humiliation to all who indulge in it. I don't know how much of you would watch it, so sarcastic review and spoilers below:

(click to show/hide)

3
Uncle Kittie's Cat Burglar / Critters [5E]
« on: December 25, 2017, 08:23:18 PM »
reserved for list

4
Off Topic Fun / Halloween Movehs!
« on: September 24, 2017, 06:34:48 PM »
Okay it's almost October, and it's that time of year when I celebrate by buying horror movies off amazon (or elsewhere) that I cant rent via netflix. So I'd like to know if any of you have seen the following, and would like to chime in with a yea or nay on what my best options are:

The Lure (2017)
The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)
Evil Dead Trap2 (1991)
Dead Cert (2010)
Wendigo (2002)
Chillerama (2011)
Devil Seed (2012)
Deadheads (2011)
A Little Bit Zombie (2012)
Pretty Dead (2013)
The Cat (2011)
Hypothermia (2010)
Pin (1988)
Feed the Gods (2014)
Asmodexia (2014)
Throwback (2013)
Dead Sea (2013)
Queen Crab (2015)
Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (2014)
Tales of Halloween (2015)
Unnatural (2015)
Mexico Barbaro (2014)
Toad Road (2012)
Scarlet's Witch (2014)
Black Mountain Side (2016)
Uncaged (2015)
Monsterland (2016)
Horsehead (2014)
Me and My Mates vs the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)
Creature Feature (2015)
The Creature Below (2016)
The Windmill (2016)
Dig Two Graves (2017)
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2017)
Devil Girl (2007)
Demon (2016)
Call Girl of Cthulhu (2014)
Celia (1989)
Prevenge (2016)
The Squad (2011)
They Look Like People (2015)
We Are the Flesh (2016)

5
Uncle Kittie's Cat Burglar / Kitty Magic [5E]
« on: September 04, 2017, 08:04:30 PM »
reserved for list

6
Off Topic Fun / The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« on: August 26, 2017, 08:39:12 PM »
*exhales*

So I had my first possum sighting tonight. I shall name him Bill, and his brief reign will be both glorious and profane.

Racism Gurl asks what I know about what happened this week. I assume she wants drama so I tell her nothing (which is true).

She and 2nd shift guy want new would-be shifty fired, so there's a fucking meltdown when he gets there a minute late.

Learn he was tattled on for having diabetic girl in post after she was fired. Surprise! Boss doesn't give a damn apparently. She actually drops by for 6 hours to chat with Shifty after getting into bare knuckle brawl with some guy and apparently kicking his ass (she weighs 85 pounds). So I'm the only one doing rounds since they are now an item despite him having gf, and the new kid having a thing for her.

Did I mention the new kid? He's checking the women's restrooms while on patrol and thinks nothing will come of it. The only thing he has going for him is that he's quite pretty. He'll make some woman a very frustrated wife one day until she decides "No...my potential future babies cannot have this level of stupid. I will not do that to them."

Boss has been scarce or obviously down. Rumour has it the lady who is our client liaison got into profanity laced knucklefest with her boss and both are suspended, maybe fired. Not sure what that means for us, could be bad.

Oh an I forgot: the guy who threatened suicide? Not fired. Caught him trying to seduce a girl in the cafe. As in "Hey baby, wassup, you look fine."

He didn't realize I was behind him the entire time pointing and shaking my head.

7
D&D 5e / Converting spells to 5e
« on: August 11, 2017, 08:13:49 PM »
I need to work on converting a ton of spells to 5e.  TenaciousJ helped on the old boards but I havent seen him since the changeover.  Anyone willing to lend some advice?

8
Uncle Kittie's Cat Burglar / Cat Burglar Core Class [5E]
« on: June 06, 2017, 08:37:53 PM »
reserved for table of contents

9
Min/Max 3.x / Need some Pathfinder Advice
« on: April 02, 2017, 10:10:49 PM »
So in my first gam I decided to pay a Jotun http://www.d20pfsrd.com/classes/3rd-party-classes/rite-publishing/jotun-paragon-class/

I'm 5th Level now and feel kinda meh.  Stats are 20 Str, 13 Dex, 18 Con, 8 Int, 15 Wis, 10 Cha.  Took Grab and Elemental BLow as my class powers.  Feats are Catch Off-Guard and Power Attack

Hoping for some multiclass optinos to spruce him up.

10
I'm converting an old 1e critter to 3.5.  It starts at 1 hit die, but when killed it immediately resurrects with ine more hit die (to a maximum of 9 hit dice).  So what spell level do y'all think is appropriate for this?

11
Off Topic Fun / So apparently I had cancer
« on: March 09, 2017, 03:04:46 PM »
As some of you may know I recently went in for surgery.  I had a small precancerous mass and needed a resection done.  It was expected to be fairly routine, and take maybe 2 hours. 

I was on the table for 6 and required a blood transfusion.  My colon had adhered to my spleen and needed to be separated...and there was a second mass that had gone unnoticed next to the first.  It was a carcinoma.  I then caught pneumonia.  And a violent lunatic went off on a rampage in the ICU and had to be arrested.

Glad to be back :D

12
Board Business / Halp?
« on: February 10, 2017, 11:41:05 PM »
An old member (astralInferno) told me they tried logging in and was told they needed to make their initial post for forum privileges, but they can't find a visible post button to click on.

13
Board Business / Possible trouble
« on: February 04, 2017, 07:13:14 PM »
I clicked on a link to a board page and Avast gave me a virus/malware warning.  May be a false positive as it has not happened again.

just popped up as q.dreniq.com.  Anyone know who they are?  A search says they're adware.

14
Uncle Kittie's Unnecessary Revisions / All Things Dragon-ish
« on: January 29, 2017, 02:48:07 AM »
reserved for index

15
Uncle Kittie's Spuriously Designed Prestige Classes / Feedback thread
« on: December 28, 2016, 06:33:18 PM »
This thread is for feedback for the other threads in this sub board.

16
Jester's Realm / Chattin' 2
« on: December 10, 2016, 05:21:02 PM »
Paging Dr. Os!

17
Tome of Battle Redux / School/Feat Thread
« on: November 26, 2016, 11:44:21 PM »
reserved for list

18
General D&D Discussion / Has anyone used the new tools at the d20 SRD?
« on: September 28, 2016, 01:53:52 AM »
The encounter calculator seemed off when I tried it last.

19
Off Topic Fun / Truly messed up stuff
« on: September 08, 2016, 01:38:19 AM »
So how many of y'all watch PBS cooking shows?  Specifically Cook's Country and America's Test Kitchen.  They're hosted by a dapper old bowtied fellow from vermont named Christopher Kimball.   Seems like a nice, laid back sort of guy. 

But then I read his letters.  See everytime Cook's Illustrated comes out he pens a folksy letter to go with it, and a website called the Toast has archived them.  They start slightly ominous and descend quickly into creepy pasta as time goes on.  A few brief samples:

'You ever wonder what’s watching you from underneath the dirt while you’re plowing a field? Something is. Something surely is. Nothing blinks in the dirt.

It’s my understanding that trees are just the gnarled hands of witches that have been buried face-up in the earth. But it’s the ones that have been buried face-down that you have to look out for.'



'Sure, searing a piece of meat seals in the juices. But it seals in a lot of other things, too. Things you wouldn’t want to get out, things you wouldn’t want to see the light of day, if you came to know them.

Ask yourself in the coming New Year if you’re really scrambling your eggs slowly enough. Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I wonder if you are. Turn that flame down. This isn’t a race.

You can fit a lot more than a Dutchman in a Dutch oven. No guarantee you can keep him in there, of course.'



'Folks used to have common sense. They didn’t plant their potatoes too close together, lest they develop strange habits not native to root vegetables, and learn to speak to one another when their stalks swayed in the night winds. They never burned an old rabbit dog before the daffodils came in. They parked their cars facing toward home when they went in the Old Forest, so they didn’t offend anything that still moved in there when human eyes weren’t looking. They never killed a cow twice and they never made hay without spilling blood on the threshold, and they never spilled blood on the threshold without nailing the house-spirits into the wall behind the chimney. They kept their shoes in the walls and their virgin bones buried in the foundations. They never opened a bottle unless they were willing to make a deal with the witch who lived inside. They kept their unguents separate from their elixirs separate from their tonics separate from their balsam physics. It was always spring, then. Always spring after spring after spring after spring, and the people stayed young and happy and their throats never sank into their breasts and their smiles were painted onto their lips and never came off, never never never.

It’s not like that now.

Do you know what comes after spring? Do you know what comes after spring? Do you know what comes after spring?

I don’t. Nobody does. Something different’s coming after spring this year, something that isn’t named summer, something that casts a long shadow and laughs without making a sound.'




'There are ways to hurt a man so that he wishes he didn’t know his own body, and there are ways to hurt a man so that he can’t recognize his own mind, and you have to know both of them if you want to make really fluffy croissants.'


'What can you do with an old assistant-wife after she’s finished? Well, friends, here in Vermont you can trade her to the first stranger you meet at a crossroads for a sack of molasses sugar and a witch-glass. Or you can wall her alive in the orchard; the next year’s crop of apples will be small and bitter, but every year thereafter, they’ll be crisp and fresh and red and white as you could possibly please. She also makes an excellent substitute for buttermilk, if you haven’t any to hand.

Do you know why they call them long johns? I do. I do. But I won’t tell, not for any price. I can’t tell. Only two men under the moon know the promise I made thirteen steps from the graveyard all those years ago to learn it, and neither of us are telling.'

20
Board Business / Anyone know what happened?
« on: July 31, 2016, 06:05:03 PM »
Boards went poof for a bit.

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