Author Topic: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)  (Read 117024 times)

Offline FireInTheSky

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #40 on: March 08, 2014, 02:23:51 PM »

Offline bhu

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #41 on: March 08, 2014, 03:02:35 PM »
She's sold me on her proposition.  Let's hope she's freaky...

Offline bhu

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #42 on: March 09, 2014, 02:55:20 PM »

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #43 on: March 10, 2014, 12:19:08 PM »
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline FireInTheSky

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Offline Jackinthegreen

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Offline FireInTheSky

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Offline Jackinthegreen

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Offline phaedrusxy

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I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #50 on: March 14, 2014, 12:44:07 PM »
Quote
Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078


Dear Sir:

Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie". It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings. However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to it's modern origin:

1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
3. The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with the common domesticated dog than it is with the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:


A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed on.
B. Clams don't have teeth.
It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your request to have the specimen carbon dated. This is partially due to the heavy load our lab must bear in it's normal operation, and partly due to carbon dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced prior to 1956 AD, and carbon dating is likely to produce wildly inaccurate results. Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National Science Foundation's Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning your specimen the scientific name "Australopithecus spiff-arino." Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down because the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound like it might be Latin.

However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a hominid fossil, it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution, and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next in your digs at the site you have discovered in your back yard. We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing you expand on your theories surrounding the "trans-positating fillifitation of ferrous ions in a structural matrix" that makes the excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex femur you recently discovered take on the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive crescent wrench.

Yours in Science,

Harvey Rowe
Curator, Antiquities
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline FireInTheSky

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #51 on: March 15, 2014, 10:35:37 AM »

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #52 on: March 15, 2014, 10:47:42 AM »
For Bhu
(click to show/hide)
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline bhu

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #53 on: March 15, 2014, 04:14:38 PM »
Catzilla photos are always welcomes :D

Offline Amechra

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #54 on: March 15, 2014, 08:39:56 PM »
I just had a thought:

"Man, if I were Achilles, I would have just worn heavy anklets. Yep. No armor.

I'd run into battle screaming HAHAHA YOU FUCKERS I HAVE INVINCIBLE SKIN!, my manhood just a swinging in the breeze..."

In summary, I think that nearly invincible people should go into battle in whatever the fuck they want, because anything that could feasibly hurt them would go through armor like it was made of tin foil.
"There is happiness for those who accept their fate, there is glory for those that defy it."

"Now that everyone's so happy, this is probably a good time to tell you I ate your parents."

Offline StreamOfTheSky

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #55 on: March 15, 2014, 11:52:30 PM »
I just had a thought:

"Man, if I were Achilles, I would have just worn heavy anklets. Yep. No armor.

I'd run into battle screaming HAHAHA YOU FUCKERS I HAVE INVINCIBLE SKIN!, my manhood just a swinging in the breeze..."

In summary, I think that nearly invincible people should go into battle in whatever the fuck they want, because anything that could feasibly hurt them would go through armor like it was made of tin foil.

Nothing like advertising your one weak point to all your enemies...

Offline Amechra

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #56 on: March 16, 2014, 12:11:46 AM »
True...

Better just stay ALL naked, then.
"There is happiness for those who accept their fate, there is glory for those that defy it."

"Now that everyone's so happy, this is probably a good time to tell you I ate your parents."

Online Raineh Daze

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #57 on: March 16, 2014, 12:19:48 AM »
I would've worn a heavy piece of jewellery against somewhere invincible. :D
Still short tempered.

Offline dman11235

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #58 on: March 16, 2014, 12:32:21 AM »
Wear a full suit of armor, with even stronger armor around your ankles.  Problem solved, and they can't even see that it's more protected!  An I second the large (red, obviously) gem somewhere invincible.  Works best if it's also logical, so maybe your heart?  And have red lines coming out of it!  And if you can back-light it, that's even better, make it glow.
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Offline StreamOfTheSky

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Re: Things that make you LoL (Part 3)
« Reply #59 on: March 16, 2014, 02:48:23 PM »
Wear a full suit of armor, with even stronger armor around your ankles.  Problem solved, and they can't even see that it's more protected!  An I second the large (red, obviously) gem somewhere invincible.  Works best if it's also logical, so maybe your heart?  And have red lines coming out of it!  And if you can back-light it, that's even better, make it glow.

This, plus maximizing your bluffing skill to pretend like it "hurts, real bad" when they stab you in your supposed weak spot.  And you make efforts to deflect attacks away from it, shielding it with your (also) invincible arms or twisting your torso so your back takes it, etc...