Author Topic: New guys thread  (Read 10052 times)

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #40 on: September 11, 2015, 07:00:52 PM »
"There, signed. Now, when do we start pillag.... I mean, exploring ancient ruins and looting its valuable remains?" Says Kulgan in a rather eager tone.

"Soon as someone makes of us a request to do so.  We get various assignments.  Find my cheating husband.  Find a sentient being I can cohabitate with.  Guard my daughter from the Pit Fiends.  Stop the Wights from ghost raping my people.  You know various Adventurer's Guild type stuff."
"How exciting! What's on the list right now?"
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Online ketaro

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3766
  • I'm always new!
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #41 on: September 11, 2015, 08:49:36 PM »
Bloodaxe winks at her, slightly mesmerized by her flicking tail. "I pity those who haven't been able to hold up under your charms. There's such a world of delights they are missing out on."

"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.

"I figured 'kill the ghost whores' would be on the request list, no? It sounded like it'd be interesting to figure out how to kill a ghost. I mean, they're chanting that outside because they want you to do that, right?"
« Last Edit: September 12, 2015, 02:21:01 AM by bhu »

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #42 on: September 11, 2015, 08:51:54 PM »
"Well, truth be told, I think it be an expression of intent on their part."
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #43 on: September 12, 2015, 02:21:13 AM »
Bloodaxe winks at her, slightly mesmerized by her flicking tail. "I pity those who haven't been able to hold up under your charms. There's such a world of delights they are missing out on."

"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.

"I figured 'kill the ghost whores' would be on the request list, no? It sounded like it'd be interesting to figure out how to kill a ghost. I mean, they're chanting that outside because they want you to do that, right?"


"No they're chanting it because they want to kill the poor cursed ghosts who live here and we're defying them.  Worry not, once they figure out what you are there will be signs calling or your death as well."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #44 on: September 12, 2015, 02:23:28 AM »
"How exciting! What's on the list right now?"

"Not getting burned alive inside our own hall by a mob before the boss gets back.  Not letting anyone know certain things are going on here so various powers that be won't kill us all.  Waiting for the boss to get back."
 

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #45 on: September 12, 2015, 02:24:55 AM »
The secretary gives you the stink eye.  Your instincts tell you she is a lil tougher than she appears.

He hands it back. "Madam, I prefer not to smell like a rotted corpse. I shall leave that to you."

"Odd demeanor for someone looking for a job."

Offline Vladeshi

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 323
  • Feel free to ignore me.
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #46 on: September 12, 2015, 02:27:25 AM »
Bloodaxe winks at her, slightly mesmerized by her flicking tail. "I pity those who haven't been able to hold up under your charms. There's such a world of delights they are missing out on."

"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.

"I figured 'kill the ghost whores' would be on the request list, no? It sounded like it'd be interesting to figure out how to kill a ghost. I mean, they're chanting that outside because they want you to do that, right?"


"No they're chanting it because they want to kill the poor cursed ghosts who live here and we're defying them.  Worry not, once they figure out what you are there will be signs calling or your death as well."

"Huh. It's almost like I'm back home."
The following explanation has been removed due to time constraints, character limits on posts, and the DC 30 Spellcraft checks to understand large portions of it.

Online ketaro

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3766
  • I'm always new!
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #47 on: September 12, 2015, 04:42:40 AM »
"Soooo.......Is anybody else hearing 'Kill the mob outside' then or is that just me?"

Offline Risada

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2068
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #48 on: September 12, 2015, 12:24:34 PM »
"Soooo.......Is anybody else hearing 'Kill the mob outside' then or is that just me?"

"I heard it as well. This means we are hired?"

Offline Stratovarius

  • Forum Host
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 6276
  • Arhosan Emperor
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #49 on: September 12, 2015, 12:35:48 PM »
"Yes, well, most tend to lose their heads too quickly when indulging in my delights." Shak'ri quips back, but with a distressed sigh.

"Oh, no need to be like that, lass. I can handle my own..." A lascivious grin followed. Which was broken by him turning to stare out the open door, reaching back to stroke a finger along the blade of the axe tucked over his shoulder. "If we drive off the riot, we get to keep everything they drop, right? Because I see a fair amount of swag out there."

Offline Vladeshi

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 323
  • Feel free to ignore me.
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #50 on: September 12, 2015, 01:01:00 PM »
"Soooo.......Is anybody else hearing 'Kill the mob outside' then or is that just me?"

"Not just you at all."
The following explanation has been removed due to time constraints, character limits on posts, and the DC 30 Spellcraft checks to understand large portions of it.

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #51 on: September 12, 2015, 04:16:16 PM »
"Perhaps you're new to the city.  One: Most of the mob outside are Clerics of various religions, some of them of decent power.  You'd be hit with enough spells to turn you into powder.  Two: Assuming you survived, you'd be arrested by the Sheriff and his men.  Three: Assuming you escaped the Sheriff, I can assure you you will note likely escape the Guild's enemies who would now pounce on a perceived weakness as they would assume we've gone criminal and are now fair game.  And even assuming you make it past all that, there's Benny.  And maybe the pig."


speaking of which a small black piglet enters the room yawning, and approaches the secretary.  He rubs against her leg, and purrs like a cat.


It's been a while since some of you were on a farm, but you're mighty sure pigs do not purr...

Offline Stratovarius

  • Forum Host
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Posts: 6276
  • Arhosan Emperor
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #52 on: September 12, 2015, 04:21:56 PM »
Bloodaxe eyes up the pig. "Someone needs to feed that poor bugger. He's too thin. Also, point taken. We shall pillage commoners instead. Or caves. Caves always have good loot and no one minds if you kill the smelly twits who live in them."

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #53 on: September 12, 2015, 06:39:44 PM »
"Or we could... hmm.... pursuade the clerics to go elsewhere on a crusade?"
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #54 on: September 12, 2015, 07:10:26 PM »
"Or we could... hmm.... persuade the clerics to go elsewhere on a crusade?"

"Religion is a vastly hypocritical pursuit.  Most of them are here to pay lip service to the demands of their flock as opposed to their Gawds.  They won't dare enter because any religion causing trouble gets kicked out of the Street of the Gawds, and their deities won't stand for that.  So long as we don't give them an excuse to justify doing anything they're harmless.  Except for Natasha's worshipers, they've already invaded once.  Be on the lookout for Drow.  I also wouldn't put it past someone trying to shiv you in the chaos of the crowd and making an escape."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #55 on: September 12, 2015, 07:13:44 PM »
Bloodaxe eyes up the pig. "Someone needs to feed that poor bugger. He's too thin. Also, point taken. We shall pillage commoners instead. Or caves. Caves always have good loot and no one minds if you kill the smelly twits who live in them."

"That's his normal state.  Truffles is also known as The Dethpig, and apparently he figures in a bunch of major prophecies.  So not let anyone know of him or they will kill/mind control/possess you in an attempt to get to him.  Fortunately he likes us."

*oink!*

"He also nibbles on anything unattended so don't set anything in front of him.  He specifically prefers non-food substances to eat, like paint, turpentine, boiling metal, etc."

ooc: if you guys have world specific questions you can ask over in the chattin thread.  I just realized I've been kinda sparse on world info

Offline Risada

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2068
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #56 on: September 13, 2015, 12:06:28 PM »
Kulgan thinks this talk about pigs of doom is getting out of hand. "Before anything else, though, who is hired? This would also help regardind the crowds..."

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • Honorary Mod
  • *****
  • Posts: 14334
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #57 on: September 13, 2015, 03:41:15 PM »
"Tentatively you're all hired as long as the boss doesn't object.  He should be back soon.  He's helping a naive villager avoid killing an abomination so he doesn't fulfill a prophecy, marry a witch and become a tyrant who rules his land with an iron fist.  Should pay pretty well."

"Speaking of which he left with a Godless Abomination from Beyond Time and Space as legal counsel for the boy, so if anyone has trouble with their law firm I'd advise hiding when he comes back just in case Philip is still with him."

"In the meantime lets inform the Guard you're here."

She walks to teh door and yells "CLUBBY!"

She is approached by a young anthropomorphic seal cub.  "Clubby the Seal, reportin' fer duteh!"

he actually salutes

"This lot is in the process of hiring on, try not to let the crowd work them over."

"Yes'm."

Once he leaves she says "I know.  He looks the soul of innocence at his young age, but he is startlingly competent."
« Last Edit: September 13, 2015, 03:44:52 PM by bhu »

Offline Solo

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 1768
  • Sorcelator Supreme
    • View Profile
    • Solo's Compiled Works
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #58 on: September 13, 2015, 07:23:06 PM »
Quote
He's helping a naive villager avoid killing an abomination so he doesn't fulfill a prophecy, marry a witch and become a tyrant who rules his land with an iron fist.  Should pay pretty well.

Pardon, but is the villager marrying the witch, or the boss?
"I am the Black Mage! I cast the spells that makes the peoples fall down."

Offline Vladeshi

  • Sr. Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 323
  • Feel free to ignore me.
    • View Profile
Re: New guys thread
« Reply #59 on: September 13, 2015, 07:53:15 PM »
Quote
He's helping a naive villager avoid killing an abomination so he doesn't fulfill a prophecy, marry a witch and become a tyrant who rules his land with an iron fist.  Should pay pretty well.

Pardon, but is the villager marrying the witch, or the boss?

"I think she means the villager, unless the boss is going to become an iron-fisted tyrant afterwards, though that should pay pretty well too."
The following explanation has been removed due to time constraints, character limits on posts, and the DC 30 Spellcraft checks to understand large portions of it.