Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear  (Read 39487 times)

Offline Balmas

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • **
  • Posts: 78
  • I'm new!
    • View Profile
Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« on: March 10, 2012, 01:46:22 AM »
This is a sister thread to this thread, but from the other side of the screen.  What are the absolutely worst words a DM can hear coming from his players?  Whether they be scary, inventive, or just plain wierd, let's see 'em.

I'll kick this off...

"Okay everybody, let's split up!"

"I have a brilliant plan!"

"I'm playing a barbarian/wizard!"
"Now hold on a second!  Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!" ~Pinkie Pie

My Monster Manual lies to me:  it states that a pegasus is white or occasionally brown when everyone knows that pegasi ought to be blue with rainbow stripes.

Offline Jackinthegreen

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 6176
  • I like green.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2012, 02:49:04 AM »
"Toughness is a worthwhile feat."

Offline Balmas

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • **
  • Posts: 78
  • I'm new!
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2012, 04:27:33 AM »
"Yes, I'm a munchkin.  And?"
"Now hold on a second!  Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!" ~Pinkie Pie

My Monster Manual lies to me:  it states that a pegasus is white or occasionally brown when everyone knows that pegasi ought to be blue with rainbow stripes.

Offline InnaBinder

  • Legendary Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1244
  • Onna table
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2012, 08:36:37 AM »
"I made a Kender Paladin!"
Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics.  Even if you win, you're still retarded.

shugenja handbook; talk about it here

Offline Prime32

  • Over-Underling
  • Retired Admin
  • *****
  • Posts: 2914
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2012, 09:13:10 AM »
^
"I made a kobold paladin."
(click to show/hide)

Offline veekie

  • Spinner of Fortunes
  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 5423
  • Chaos Dice
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2012, 09:20:02 AM »
"Nudge me when its combat"

Objectively worst.
Everything is edible. Just that there are things only edible once per lifetime.
It's a god-eat-god world.

Procrastination is the thief of time; Year after year it steals, till all are fled,
And to the mercies of a moment leaves; The vast concerns of an eternal scene.

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2012, 09:31:16 AM »
"Okay everybody, let's split up!"
"I have a brilliant plan!"

Oh, is he in your campaign too?

"Yes, I'm a munchkin.  And?"

Oh, he does get around.

(referring to someone IRL)

"I take off my shirt"
"She drunkenly says 'who-hoo, PARTY!'"

Both were from an actual game.
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8182
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2012, 10:07:18 AM »
"My character doesn't speak common"

(this lead to a game breaking up for me)
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2012, 10:30:34 AM »
"Can I just Ret-con that?"
(From the player referenced above, at least twice a session)
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 16075
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2012, 12:00:16 PM »
"Fighters are obviously more powerful."

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2012, 12:07:14 PM »
I'm going to say this in both threads.

Anything on Mr. Welch's list.


(It is 5 words, just not a quote in and of itself.)
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline sirpercival

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 10855
  • you can't escape the miles
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2012, 12:16:51 PM »
"My guy is half Cthulhu"
I am the assassin of productivity

(member in good standing of the troll-feeders guild)

It's begun — my things have overgrown the previous sig.

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2012, 12:25:54 PM »
"So I read this thread..."
(Can go well, which it usually does for one of my players. Can go very, very bad, which it does for the rest of my players.)
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2012, 12:30:26 PM »
The one that pissed me off the most.
"It's your fault I died"
"You should have nerfed it"
- after his character died, because he went off on his own in a site-based adventure, after having been warned by me many times, and by the other players too. Is the same one that has now resorted to being a munchkin.
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline Balmas

  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • **
  • Posts: 78
  • I'm new!
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2012, 03:36:00 PM »
"Okay everybody, let's split up!"
"I have a brilliant plan!"

Oh, is he in your campaign too?

Heck, that describes all of the PCs in my game.

Actual in game comment, said to another friend talking:
"Stop ruining the flavor text!"
"Now hold on a second!  Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!" ~Pinkie Pie

My Monster Manual lies to me:  it states that a pegasus is white or occasionally brown when everyone knows that pegasi ought to be blue with rainbow stripes.

Offline awaken_D_M_golem

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 7639
  • classique style , invisible tail
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #15 on: March 10, 2012, 03:57:25 PM »

Pseudonatural Cat drank Confusion Potion ...  :flirt
Your codpiece is a mimic.

Offline ariasderros

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2507
  • PM me what you're giving Kudos for please.
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2012, 03:26:34 AM »
Pseudonatural Cat drank Confusion Potion ...  :flirt
bhu?

"What's my attack bonus again?"
- one of my players who is bad at remembering the basics.
My new Sig
Hi, Welcome

Offline bhu

  • Uncle Kittie
  • DnD Handbook Writer
  • ****
  • Posts: 16075
  • Fnord bitches
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2012, 05:30:33 PM »
"I'm playing a gay Paladin."

Offline littha

  • Epic Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 2952
  • +1 Holy Muffin
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #18 on: March 11, 2012, 06:23:39 PM »
"Is BoEF an allowed Source?"

Offline RobbyPants

  • Female rat ninja
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 8182
    • View Profile
Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2012, 08:55:18 PM »
"I'm gonna play another monk."

(this player believed that monks were the best.)

"I'm playing a gay Paladin."
I had a player do this once.
My creations

Please direct moderation-related PMs to Forum Staff.