The Great Comment Game -- open PbP game

[sirpercival]

Hi all,

This is the silly/awesome PbP game I started in the comments on bg.com while the boards were down.  It is an open, no-character-sheet game -- if you want to participate, just post and narrate your own actions, and you are on your honor to have fun and keep with the spirit of the game

--sirpercival

EDIT: Just to make it clear, no "reporting in" or participation approval is necessary.  Just post. 

The Great Comment Game

sirpercival

The heavy wooden door of the inn swings open, and in tromps Captain Gerald Lionsmane of the King’s Men.

“Adventurers!” he roars, brandishing his golden sword. “We are under attack, and your King requires service!”

tsuyoshikentsu

A woman comes up to Captain Lionsmane, holding a sword, a shield, and two children.

“I’m the wife of the corrupt town sergeant! I’ve got you covered!”

sirpercival

Lionsmane takes the two children and stuffs them in his Haversack. “Thank you, ma’am — these will be extremely useful! Now, what about the rest of you?”

Amechra

An old man, coming equipped with a tankard in both hands and a pot for a helmet, clad in dirty, stinking clothing, calls out:

“I’m Old Franklin, and me and my trained attack rats will help!”

A little whiskered head pops out of each tankard, and a trio of battle-scarred rats appear on top of the pot-helmet.

Talore

“Hoi!” From one of the side tables lumbers a large, overweight man in a leather jerkin and sweaty underclothes. He burps loudly, wipes a few peanuts from his greasy beard, and scratches his stomach while hefting the massive claymore on his back.

“Miname’s Gerald Garsinger an’ all ‘elp ye out!” he booms, giving a lazy salute. His breath reeks of garlic and bad ale.

Monotremeancer

Suddenly a halfling with huge moustaches, who is obviously the chef of this fine establishment runs out of the kitchen, a large wooden spoon in hand. “I am Juniper Dohickey and I live to serve the King!”. On closer inspection you can see that he wears the lid of a a large pot as a shield.

“Farewell, boss” he says to the innkeeper “This is a call that I must heed”.

sirpercival

Lionsmane surveys the motley crew and sighs. “Well, every strong arm will help, and perhaps your arms will help as well. Let us to the front!”

As he turns to exit, the window explodes inward in a shower of glass, and a dark-skinned human in midnight clothes with a white streak in his hair lands nimbly on its feet. Before Lionsmane can react, the newcomer’s hand extends and there is a brief glint of silvery metal.

Lionsmane’s sword arm is suddenly separated from his shoulder, and clatters to the ground in a spray of blood. “Mystra’s eldritch teat,” he gasps, and collapses to the ground.

((Initiative is first come, first serve.))

tsuyoshikentsu

“To arms! To arms! *And if you hurt my children by the greed of dwarves there will be a reckoning!” the woman shouts, charging forward and grabbing the haversack. Then she stabbity-stabs at the man with her sword!

Monotremeancer

“You’ll ruin the guests appetite, wasting food is a great sin!” the halfling yells as he zig-zags through the crowd and begins to bludgeon the stranger with his large spoon. “Boss, get me my big knife!”

TeslaWolff

The innkeeper stands up from under the counter, to avoid the glass shards sprayed everywhere, and shouts at the dark-skinned one “Hey! You’re paying for that window you lil’ ingrate!” As he reaches for an empty bottle of whiskey and hurls it towards the intruders head, he then storms off into the kitchen to fetch Juniper’s BIG knife.

sirpercival

Surprised by the onslaught of spoons, sword, and furniture, the intruder leaps back to the windowsill, bruised and bleeding from a dozen small cuts.

He smiles, revealing teeth ground to points, and growls in a guttural voice and thick accent, “Foolish adventurers. The end of your world has come, and your King shall soon fall. Prepare yourselves for –”

The bottle sails through the air and smashes on his forehead, knocking him tail over teakettle out the window. When you rush to follow, he’s gone.

Up the street, you can see that the palace is burning. A cow runs past, squealing in fright and also on fire.

awaken_D_M_golem

Verus the Ol’ Reeve yells “That’s a magic Cow … and that’s not Fire …”
His last words as the cow tramples him.

Halfling spots an evil grin on the cow, and realizes there’s more afoot here.

Talore

Gerald, temporarily stunned by the flurry of geurilla weaponry, fell straight off his heels onto the floor. After the commotion is over, he gets another drunkard to pull him up, then he rushes outside, claymore drawn (knocking the doorframe on the way out) and emerges with a grizzly roar, only to see the assailant escaped and some poor sap trampled with bovine recklessness.

“Ohm, riyt pour luck that!” he booms.

Gabrion

A travel-worn kobold wanders into the center of things, lazily surveying the scene around him. He grins and shakes his head, as if to say “how below me all this is.”

At the snap of his fingers a study chair and bowl with strange, flully, yellow foodstuffs appear. He sits and begins to much, apparently intent on watching the chaos unfold. Anyone who looks closely enough notices a star-shaped badge on his tunic that says nothing more than “PP.”

[Talore]

OOC: OH HELL YEAH, you are a god, Sirpercival. Reporting in.

[sirpercival]

OOC: Well, then go ahead and post!  You don't have to report in, that's the beauty of it.  Just post if you want to.

[Prime32]

Gonna move this to Playground, guys.

[tsuyoshikentsu]

Having rescued her children from the haversack and strapped them to her back, the woman frowns. "Not fire? What?"

[Mixster]

"I am his bovine lord Moolish the first of my name!" The cow moos belligerently. "This kingdom is in great peril because I was turned into a Cow, come with me, to the east were the sun sets and we'll save the princess that can restore me to my former glory. Also, this fire is a gift from an annoying cleric who sprinkled me with ruby dust before awakening me." The bovine lord Moolish says, braying loudly at the moon as he tramples the falls priests who named it not-fire.

[Talore]

"Och, E must be thuh drink!" Gerald mutters, shaking his head and allowing his shaggy mane of hair to sway in the smoky air. "Not firez a rite stubbud nayme, souns orkish! If yer who ye sah yer, ah dinnae objekt, an yer tawlkin soh yer not sum sneekie cow atteny rayte!"

[skydragonknight]

A sinister shadow with piercing red eyes looks down menacingly from the rooftop. It is very menacing and sinister looking (dude, red eyes!). And shady. Definitely shady. As you blink, the figure fades away and you wonder if it was even there...

Meanwhile, somewhere, in someplace under the ground and very dark (let's call it the under...dark) and eerily creepy-looking in a way that would send a shiver down your spine if you were actually there, two mysterious hooded figures speak in hushed voices about mysterious matters of mystery, the faint torchlight illuminating the walls stained with the blood of previous occupants (it's a one-stop shopping center and the crowds are murder).
"It is the time of the prophecy. A burning cow that cannot be cooked. At long last, HE is awakening."

Something OMINOUS awaits our 'heroes'.

[skydragonknight]

Meanwhile in the Hall of Justice town...

[Childe]

Inside the inn, “Jericho” “Blowjob” “Stop fucking calling me that” Bronson Jericho sat himself down next to the gloam kobold.

“Finally, I found someone,” he said. “I was starting to think no one had even heard of Payload Platoon in this backwards-ass town. He debated what to tell the lizard-man. For starters, he'd never seen a lizard-man in Payload Platoon, or ever for that matter; and he didn't know where he was exactly, or why Payload Platoon was here, or what the lizard-man knew, or who he knew. Jericho sure wasn't going to get in trouble with Captain Garfield Lecrin. “My name's Bronson “Blowjob” Jericho – I mean Bronson Jericho, son-of-a-bitch! … Where's the rest of the platoon?”

Jericho shifted the weight of the pack on his shoulders so that it settled evenly its weight of his military issue and useless-so-far equipment.