Min/Max Boards

How are you getting proficiency with all martial weapons to qualify for knight phantom?  Without spending a class level (or being an outsider), all I can think of is the militia feat (Player's Guide to Faerun, p41).  That's a problematic mix with knight phantom though, since one requires being from certain Faerun regions, while the other requires being from a specific Eberron country. 

all the immunities he got

You could gain a lot of immunities by being a necropolitan (Libris Mortis, p114).  It's a +0 LA template.  The upside is you become undead.  The downside is you become undead. 

btw we're running an evil campaign (don't know if that helps at all).

Well, you could gain bonus feats by swearing service to an elder evil (Elder Evils, p10), sell your soul for any of a number of benefits (Fiendish Codex II, p23), gain a bonus to the save DCs for your spells as a cleric of Tharizdun (Return to the Temple of Elemental Evil, p161), or become immune to mind-affecting effects via the deformity (madness) feat (Elder Evils, p13). 

A mineral warrior (Underdark, p96) earth dwarf (Unearthed Arcana, p16) would be nice. 

Let's look closer at the odds of the cat sneaking up on the commoner. 

The Monster Manual doesn't correctly list the cat's statistics.  Cat's don't have a +1 base attack bonus, so they don't qualify for weapon finesse.  Wizards of the Coast addressed this in the errata.  Cats now have weapon finesse as a bonus feat.  (Creatures don't need to meet the prerequisites of bonus feats.)  Of course, cats still need one regular feat, so the errata gives them the stealthy feat, which gives them an extra +2 to both hide and move silently. 

Spot and listen checks get suffer a -1 penalty per 10 feet of distance.  Since the cat has to move into the commoner's square to attack, he needs to get within 25 feet before he starts his partial charge.  That's -2. 

The commoner certainly seems "distracted" as you've described him, and that adds another -5 penalty to spot and listen. 

The cat's hide modifier is +16, and the commoner's spot modifier is at best 4, from skill ranks, but down to -3 from penalties.  If the cat rolls a 1, he gets 17, and if the commoner rolls a 20, he gets 17.  On a tie, opposed skill checks go to the character with the higher modifier.  So, the commoner has a 0% chance of spotting the cat. 

The cat's move silently modifier is +8, and the commoner's listen modifier is at best 4, from skill ranks, but down to -3 from penalties.  Now, the fact that 2 d20s are being rolled makes the results cluster around the middle.  This results in the cat having a 91% chance of going unheard.  Go ahead and check the 400 possible outcomes if you want.  You'll find the cat wins in 364 of them.  (Or just have the computer tell you the answer, like I did.) 

Yes, according to the rules, you have to be a gnome to be a cleric of Gond.  On the other hand, many people don't even know that's a rule (probably including many of the game designers), and those who do tend to think it's stupid.  You should ask your DM. 

When the pride domain was printed in Spell Compendium, there was no explicit list of which deities offer it.  When it was originally printed in issue 323 or Dragon Magazine, there was such a list.  It's on page 65, if you have the issue.  Otherwise, you can take my word for it that Gond is one of the deities that offers the pride domain. 

The newest printing of divine disciple is in Player's Guide to Faerun, and it doesn't give a bonus domain. 

If you DM sticks to the rule of only gnome clerics of Gond, you could be a cleric of Ubtao.  He has "chultans" listed among his typical worshipers, which is a human ethnicity (Races of Faerun, p106).  Counting an aasimar as a human isn't any kind of stretch.  Though most of the aasimar in Faerun are from in or near Mulhorand, which is pretty far from the Chult.  That could be a sticking point.  Oh, the character is already in play.  Nevermind

I'm also starting at level 1 and it's worth noting that no one in the party has any social skills.

You can make a cleric startlingly socially adept at 1st level. 

The herald domain (Book of Exalted deeds, p87) adds intimidate to your class skills and gives a +4 sacred bonus to diplomacy and intimidate.  The domain focus alternative class feature (Dragon 347, p91) doubles the bonus provided by a domain, but removes your other domain and your ability to spontaneously cast cure spells.  Combining those, you have a +8 sacred bonus to diplomacy and intimidate, and you can have 4 ranks in both skills. 

The evangelist variant (Dragon 353, p88) gives you a +2 bonus on diplomacy (also comprehend languages 2/day), but removes turn undead. 

If you want to go full diplomancer, you can take the bind vestige and practiced binder feats and bind Naberius.  That lets you take 10 on diplomacy checks no matter what and removes the normal -10 penalty for making a rushed diplomacy check as a standard action.  (All from various parts of Tome of Magic.) 

Admittedly, the herald domain is hard to rectify with Naberius.  The joy domain (Book of Exalted Deeds, p87) can be used instead, but you give up intimidate.  Hedonism seems like a perfectly viable explanation for religiously dedicating yourself to joy and binding your soul to otherworldly entities. 

Can you use diopsid (Dragon Compendium, p10)?  They're really great at mixing power attack with two-weapon fighting. 

The adventurous explorer feat (Dragon 315, p64) gives the following benefit: "When you ready an action in combat, you can choose to take that action at any time, not just when the condition you specify occurs." 

Arguably, the feat works with steadfast boots (Magic Item Compendium, p138).  The boots say "as long as you carry a two-handed weapon, you are treated as if you had readied that weapon against any creature that charges you." 

The effect of the boots seem to be equivalent to "I ready an action to attack with this weapon the next time a foe charges me."  The feat would then let you make a melee attack with that weapon whenever you want. 

The broken part is that the boots don't restrict you to one use per round.  After you make your attack, you have another one readied.  You can just make infinite attacks. 

Malleable armor +2, think Mithral as a special ability that also decreases both medium and heavy armor to light.

Well that certainly beats out halfweight (Underdark, p70). 

what slot is a pectoral?

If pectoral of maneuverability (Draconomicon, p83) can be taken as representative, the torso slot. 

All right, lower level and easier to get rid of.  Stick a turbidus leech (Bestiary of Krynn, p72 (original) or p97 (Revised)) on prisoners.  Charm and compulsion effects last forever on someone with a leech attached.  Then cast suggestion on each prisoner twice.  The suggestions are "serve out your prison term peacefully" and "don't mess with the leeches." 

If someone manages to get a leech off, they'll be free from the suggestions in a few hours, and can then rip the leeches of other inmates.  Of course, the leeches would be put in highly visible locations, so the guards would immediately notice if someone was missing his.  Also, since everyone is compelled to leave the leaches be, the only way I can think of to kick this off is for a leech die via some sort of accident or illness.