"Oh good good, they all speak... common you called it? Key, another note, witchtongue is called common here. Also, weird that German didn't survive my translation, but witchtongue did. Whatever." she muttered to herself, clearly going off the rails about... something. Bianca was weird like that. "So you have a fancy teleporting artifact right? Why not use it to pop back home, a week's walk is a long way. What, does it send you screaming through the devil's asshole to your destination?" she joked half-heartedly, already counting off several unpleasant teleportation experiences, including several which could be defined like that.
"I'm just saying, seems like a tactical mishap if whoever your big muckamuck is sent you out here armed with pitchforks and expecting you to hike your way back. The Chief's artifact... is it the dog? Anyway yeah, you should totally have alternatives is all I'm saying. I'd help you, but I seem to have misplaced by staff of teleportation so I'm in the same boat.
So you guys are like... farmers and stuff? Small town? Won't your town be in danger and all, what with not being there for a week with your canine leadership and all your burly guys you could find?"
"Perhaps there is nothing to defend. It sounds like they are under hard times agricultural wise."
"Yeah, nature goddess right? The gods are totally real and in your face in this place right? I mean, can't say why she cut connections though I could always guess heh heh but tell you what. I'm a genius, I'll teach you a bit of my amazing magical ability of hydroponics and I bet that would clean things up a bit. Plus, big explosions also sound like my kind of thing. Big explosions usually mean meteors, bombs, or awesome planet devouring entities being born into the world. I'm game, is what I'm trying to say. All you need to do is listen to my advice, yeah.
Plus, seeing as you're stranded out here with us we might as well walk in a group, right? Get to know each other, become my assistants in the greatest experiment of all time, and take the technological advantage in the face of opposition. It's an offer you can't refuse!"