Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear  (Read 39445 times)

Offline Monotremeancer

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2012, 05:04:54 AM »
"I'm playing a gay Paladin."
I had a player do this once.
One of mine once played a gay gnome ranger who fell head over heels in love with the human paladin (who had taken Vow of Chasity).

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How come you guys never wave?

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Offline Balmas

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2012, 05:18:00 AM »
"Druids are underpowered for me."
"Now hold on a second!  Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!" ~Pinkie Pie

My Monster Manual lies to me:  it states that a pegasus is white or occasionally brown when everyone knows that pegasi ought to be blue with rainbow stripes.

Offline Monotremeancer

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #22 on: March 12, 2012, 05:25:11 AM »
"But wizards can only blast!"
I'm what's staring back from the abyss.
How come you guys never wave?

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Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #23 on: March 12, 2012, 07:33:11 AM »
"I Planar Bind an efreeti."
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Offline Prime32

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #24 on: March 12, 2012, 09:57:20 AM »
"What? But he was evil!"

"What? I'm just chaotic neutral!"

Offline ariasderros

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #25 on: March 12, 2012, 11:26:01 AM »
"What? I'm just chaotic neutral!"

You are evil and a whore.

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Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #26 on: March 12, 2012, 01:33:20 PM »
"I'm playing a bisexual Minotaur."

Offline mthor

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2012, 10:15:04 PM »
I can kill other [PCs]! ( Usually not said to me but to the other PCs in question)

P.S. now i want to play a bi minotaur.
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Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #28 on: March 12, 2012, 10:42:45 PM »
"My mom wants to play."

Offline RedWarlock

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #29 on: March 12, 2012, 11:43:56 PM »
"My mom wants to play."
That really depends on the game. We had the mother of a couple of our players (brother and sister, both in their 20's/30's, so the mom was around 50-ish) join in a 1e/2e game, and manage not horribly. She needs help with the mechanics, but as player-starved as we are in my area and social circle, her enthusiasm was welcome.
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Offline Balmas

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2012, 02:00:26 AM »
"I kill [that important NPC]!"

"What do you mean, No?"

"This blows.  Let's play WoW."



And, the most terrifying of all, for players and DMs alike:

"I know what I'm doing."
« Last Edit: March 13, 2012, 04:22:34 AM by Balmas »
"Now hold on a second!  Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!" ~Pinkie Pie

My Monster Manual lies to me:  it states that a pegasus is white or occasionally brown when everyone knows that pegasi ought to be blue with rainbow stripes.

Offline Prime32

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2012, 07:51:51 AM »
"...and dual wielding uranium katanas"

Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2012, 08:07:10 AM »
"I'm gonna play Smash Bros."

"I'm playing a bisexual Minotaur."
"That's a fine heifer, there."

(Someone said that a player said this in his game while playing a minotaur)
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Offline The_Laughing_Man

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2012, 12:41:06 PM »
" I don't have any food."

..one player said when the DM wanted us to track our rations.

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #34 on: March 13, 2012, 12:42:48 PM »
"...and dual wielding uranium katanas"
It's a good thing I wasn't drinking milk when I read this, because it would have surely squirted out of my nose...
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Offline Tshern

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #35 on: March 18, 2012, 09:58:17 PM »
I was entering a game where the DM is an excellent optimiser, but the other players were (I did not know that at that point) rather unimpressive when it came to creating characters. In short, these words caused the DM to give me a very, very bad look and he told me to tone down my characters plans to around 10% of its original effectiveness: "Hey, we using taint rules?"
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Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #36 on: March 19, 2012, 01:14:46 AM »
"But the rules say this."
Argumentative player on house rules.

"My character is Chaotic Neutral."
Player on what is Alignment anyway?

"I want to play Halo."
Mindless player afraid of thinking.

"Chuck Norris can cure cancer."
Oh for f*cks sake stfu already.

"I got this off minmaxboards"
Player with way to many zeros added on the end of his numbers.

"I push the button, hard."
Player on what's this do?

"I rolled a successful save"
Player on rolling dice and how saying 'one' just sounds stupid.

"I have an Erudite Cohort."
Player on why he's carrying a second character sheet.

Offline imoenofcandlekeep

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #37 on: May 03, 2012, 11:24:38 PM »
"Is BoEF an allowed Source?"

+1.  Oh, so much.

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Offline sirpercival

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #38 on: May 03, 2012, 11:28:46 PM »
I'll play Bear (w/ swordchucks)
I am the assassin of productivity

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Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #39 on: May 03, 2012, 11:31:37 PM »
"My sweat tastes like oranges."