Dire Critters

[bhu]

Dire Duck
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+3 (16 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                25 ft. (5 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 80 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+2
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d6)
Full Attack:          Bite +3 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 11, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +8
Feats:                Endurance, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Warm or Temperate except Desert
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (5-30)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...Bert ah heers suthin' outside.."

"Would you calm down?  You always get nervous when we rob people."

"But this farm smells like duck poop.  And pappy allways said never to rob a farm what smells like duck poop."

The origin of Dire Ducks is unknown.  In recent times some of them have been domesticated, and are raised as guard animals on farms.  They are surprisingly well suited to the role, being abnormally sassy given that they're, well, ducks.

Hold Breath (Ex): A duck can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 4 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

Skills: Ducks gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Swim checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may also use the Run action while swimming provided they swim in a straight line.

Combat: Ducks like to run at foes quacking and raising hell in an attempt to intimidate them (which usually doesn't work), and then proceed to bite before fleeing out of range of the opponent, and then going back in to bite again.




Giant Duck
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the works of local farmer wizard John "El Monstruo" Sherman, and his continuing work on the Gargantua Principle."

Release The Quacken
"We understand your first project species are ducks.   Why ducks?"

"Well aside from being food animals, they make great guard animals.  They raise nine kinds of hell if anything gets within a mile of this place."

"Have you domesticated them?"

"In theory..."

Sassy
"What's the most difficult part of your new found business?"

"Convincing the little bastards to nest here and not fly away."

[bhu]

Dire Electric Eel
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+12 (39 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          13 (-1 Large, +4 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+10
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d8+2)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Shock
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Blindsense
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +10, Swim +10
Feats:                Ability Focus (Shock), Blind-Fight, Improved Initiative
Environment:          Warm Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Abner that is the biggest eel evah ah did see."

"Eel? What...OMG BERT DON"T TOUCH THAT.."

KAPOW

"Bert? Bert you okay?  Man, explainin' ta yer wife how yer hair got like that is gonna be tuff..."

Dire Electric  Eels are responsible for much more damage than their normal counterparts, especially to fisheries.

Shock (Ex): At will as a Standard Action the Electric Eel can unleash a powerful electrical pulse doing 6d6 electricity damage in a 30 ft. Radius with itself in the center.  Opponents within this area must make a DC 17 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Stunned 1d4 rounds. It is immune to it's own electrical barrage, but not that of other eels, or electrical attacks.

Blindsense (Ex): At will as a Swift Action the Electric Eel can let out a weak pulse of electricity, giving it Blindsense 60 ft. for the round as long as it's underwater.

Hold Breath (Ex): The Dire Electric Eel can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 8 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

Skills: Dire Electric Eels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks.  Dire Electric Eels may always take 10 on Swim checks, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Dire Electric Eels use their Shock attack as often as possible.  if opponents seem resistant it will try to flee.



Giant Electric Eel
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's latest risky venture."

Shocking Consequences
"An eel that can generate electricity without the need of magic?"

"It even leaps from the water to shock land or air based targets."

"Let me guess.  It causes mass die offs in fisheries?"

"Giving me a target beyond other farming Wizards, yes."

Not Really An Eel
"There are Wizards running fisheries?"

"Sir, we run just about everything."

[bhu]

Dire Vampire Squid
                      Medium Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             4d8 (18 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+7
Attack:               Grab +7 (Grapple)
Full Attack:          Grab +7 (Grapple)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Disorienting Display, Improved Grab, Beak, Grappler
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Immunities, Hide in Plain Sight, Mucus Burst, Blindsense 30 ft., Burst of Speed, Limb Regeneration, Amorphous Body
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 12, Con 11, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Escape Artist +10, Hide +10, Spot +6, Swim +8
Feats:                Ability Focus (Disorienting Display), Improved Intiative
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"We got hired to find Vampire Squid?  Ah don't like this Abner.  Ah don't like this at all."

"Relax.  It's not a Vampire they just call it that."

"So it's some freaky bloodsucker?"

"Um..no.  No it doesn't suck blood.

"Is it dead?"

"Um...well...no.  No it's alive.  Ah think."

"Well then why the hell is it called a Vampire?"

"Look ah just agree to kill tha stuff for money, someone else works out the details."

"Abner?"

"Sigh...yes Bert?".

Ah cain't swim."

Dire Vampire Squid are larger, possibly more primitive versions of the plain old regular Vampire Squid From Hell.  Darn dramatic them biologists.

Disorienting Display (Ex): The Vampire Squid can put on a disorienting light show as a Standard Action.  Opponents within 30 ft. that can see it must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Fascinated for 1d6 rounds.  If the opponent rolls a natural "1" on it's Saving Throw or has an Intelligence of 3 or less, it becomes Frightened instead.

Improved Grab (Ex): The Vampire Squid may attempt a Grapple check without provoking an attack of opportunity against any creature it's size class or smaller.  If successful it uses it's beak to cut into it's prey as long as it can maintain the hold.

Beak (Ex): The Dire Vampire Squid does 2d6 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Grappler (Ex): Due to it's multiple limbs the Dire Vampire Squid also gains a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple Checks.

Immunities (Ex): Dire Vampire Squid are immune to the pressures of deep sea waters (see Stormwrack), and can breathe normally in water that has so little oxygen content that other gilled animals would die in it.  The Dire Vampire Squid gains a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation.

Hide in Plain Sight (Ex): At the upper end of the waters inhabited by Dire Squid, creatures swimming in the waters above can be seen as dimly moving shadows in the blue light.  The Vampire Squid can swim at the top edge of this zone and cause it's underside to glow, matching the light above and concealing it from other predators like itself below.  It's top still blends in with the darkness below.  In this small instance the Dire Vampire Squid has the Camouflage and Hide in Plain Sight abilities listed in page 48 of the PHB.

Mucous Burst (Ex): Once per Minute as a Free Action the Dire Vampire Squid can emit a 10 ft.x10 ft.x10 ft. cloud of phosphorescent mucous.  This cloud provides total concealment, which the squid uses to escape a losing fight.  Due to it's brightly luminous nature it affects creatures with Light Sensitivity as though they had been exposed to bright light.  This goo also sticks to them for 1d4 rounds having an effect similar to a Faerie Fire spell.

Blindsense (Ex): While it is in the water the Vampire Squid has the equivalent of Blindsight 30 ft..

Burst of Speed (Ex): The Dire Vampire Squid can temporarily increase it's Swim speed to 50 ft., but it only lasts for 3 rounds plus 1 round per point of Constitution Modifier, after which the DVS is Fatigued until it can rest for an hour.  The DVS cannot use this ability while it is Fatigued or Exhausted.

Limb Regeneration (Ex): If the Vampire Squid loses a limb it may regenerate it within 1d4 weeks.

Amorphous Body (Ex): The Vampire Squids body is amazingly elastic, and almost jelly like.  It can squeeze through spaces as though it were 2 Size Classes Smaller than it is.

Skills: Dire Vampire Squid have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist and Hide Checks. 

Combat: The Dire Vampire Squid usually opens up with it's Disorienting Display before going for the grapple.  If it's beak can't subdue the opponent it sprays it with mucous before fleeing.



Giant Vampire Squid From Hell

"Testing, testing...is this thing on?"

"The palantir is working fine Jim, there's just a little lag from the distance."

3000 Feet Down

"I'm over a mile down Harlan, how the Hell did  the head office even know of these things?"

"An Anguilian told us. Do you see one yet?"

"I think so.  What did the office call these things again?"


As Weird As It Gets

"The Giant Vampire Squid From Hell."

"We're overselling it.  It's the size of a large dog."

"Well that's disappointing."

"Also, it's definitely neither Fiendish or Undead."

[bhu]

Dire Kitty
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+6 (19 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+5
Attack:               Claw +5 melee (1d4+3)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +5 melee (1d4+3) and 1 Bite +0 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rake
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Balance +11, Climb +8, Hide +7, Jump +11, Listen +3, Move Silently +7, Spot +3
Feats:                Alertness, Run
Environment:          Temperate Plains
Organization:         Domesticated or Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Are you sure we should be robbin' an old woman Abner?  She might have cats.  I hate cats.  They always yowl and scratch me."

"Don't be such a wuss Bert."

"Hisssssssssssssssssssssssss..."

"I'm sorry Abner I couldn't hear you over the sound of me shittin' mah self.  Could you repeat that?"


No one is sure if Dire Housecats occurred naturally, or they were the result of specialized breeding, or magic.  But they make darned excellent watchcats.  Now they may cause a little property damage if someone enters your house, but at least the burglars will get what they have coming.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Dire Kitty hits with it's Claw Attack, it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity. If successful it can Rake.

Rake (Ex): In Grapples the Dire Kitty has two additional Rake attacks (to hit and damage are same as claw attack).

Skills (Ex): Dire Kitties get a +4 Racial Bonus to all Climb, Hide, and Move Silently Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  In addition they may use their Dexterity modifier or Strength modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Jump Checks.

Combat: Dire Kitties fight in a manner common to regular housecats.  They hiss until their opponent leaves.  If that fails it's the usual pounce, grab, rakerakerakerake...





Giant Cat
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be spending another afternoon on John Sherman's farm."

Meow
"I see the Giant Rat problem extends even here.  How are you dealing with it?"

"I made Giant Housecats."

"Have you domesticated them?"

"In theory..."

Hiss
"Is it safe to allow them to roam free?"

"Sure, 'long as you carry some fish bribes with you."

[bhu]

http://www.seasky.org/deep-sea/gulper-eel.html

                      Dire Gulper Eel
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+6 (33 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+11
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 12, Con 13, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Hide +6, Move Silently +6
Feats:                Improved Initiative, Skill Focus: Hide, Stealthy
Environment:          Any Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...I don't like bein' on subs Bert.  I can see things.  Outside the window.  Horrible things that stare at me."

"I think you've been reading too many of those horror novels again."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"WHAT! What's going on? What's happening?"

"A big fish just ate a bigger fish!

"Yer killin' me Abner..."

"Aw crap it's lookin' at us!"


Dire Gulper Eels are remarkably stealthy predators for their size.  They are also fairly fragile for their size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Dire Gulper Eel may swallow opponents in one of two ways.  First, if it succeeds in biting an opponent up to 1 Size Class larger than itself, it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful, it may Swallow it's opponent the next round. 

It may also make a charge attack with it's mouth open, and attempt to swallow any opponent in the way so long as those opponents are at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself.  A Dire Gulpers stomach can hold up to 1 Huge, 1 Large, 4 Medium, 16 Small, or 32 Tiny or Smaller opponents.  While inside the stomach opponents take 1d6+3 bludgeoning damage, and 1d6 acid damage per round.  A swallowed opponent can cut it's way out by doing 15 points of damage to the Eel's stomach (AC 12) with a light piercing or slashing weapon.  Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

Skills: Dire Gulper Eels have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on Swim Checks.  They may also use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Dire Gulper Eels use a light in their tails to lure in unintelligent prey.  For other, more problematic food they just swim at it with their mouths open and hope to swallow it.



Giant Gulper Eel
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at nature's cruel sense of humor."

Also Called The Pelican Eel
"It's a swimming mouth?"

"Yup.  It was a little too tricky.  So this was the next step."

"It looks...well it doesn't exactly seem incredibly resilient."

"They aren't, which is why there were more experiments."

Little Is Known
"I've never seen anything like this."

"The regular species lives very deep in the ocean.  We had to work hard to modify them for life closer to civilization."

[bhu]

Dire Vole
                      Tiny Animal
Hit Dice:             1/2d8+1 (3 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), burrow 15 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-9
Attack:               Nibble +4 melee (1d2-1)
Full Attack:          Nibble +4 melee (1d2-1)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 8, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Hide +14, Listen +3, Move Silently +6, Search +4, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Plains, Marsh, Hills, Forest, or Mountains   
Organization:      Solitary, Pair, or Colony (6-20)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          2 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert, whut the hell are you doin' up that tree?"

"Thars things in thet thar field Abner! Furry things! They kept lookin' at me and squeakin'!"

"They're rats you fool."

"NO! No thays too big!"

"Dire Rats then."

"They don't have huge nekkid tails! They're some weird mouse critter! Git in tha trees, they can't climb!"

"Bert...are you drunk?"

"..."

"Maybe..."

Voles (also known as Meadow Mice) are pests that inhabit fields.  The Dire versions are somewhat worse being that they're cat sized and tend to be hungrier.

Skills: Dire Voles have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

Combat: Dire Voles tend to flee combat, unless cornered, or their pups are threatened.  Then they swarm.



Giant Vole
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be doing our obligatory cute episode."

Meow
"Giant field mice?  These seem like they would be superfluous after the gophers and such."

"They were a failed experiment that came prior."

"How are they a failure?"

"They have levels of empathy I've never seen in other animals."

Loyal To A Fault
"Isn't empathy a good thing?"

"Not when they feel sympathy for the target."

[bhu]

Dire Whitetail Deer
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+18 (45 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+12
Attack:               Hoof +7 melee (1d6+4) or Gore* +7 melee (1d10+6)
Full Attack:          2 Hooves +7 melee (1d6+4) or Gore* +7 melee (1d10+6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Overrun
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Multiple Stomachs
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +6, Spot +5
Feats:                 Endurance, Run, Improved Bull Rush (B)
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary or Herd (10-30)
Challenge Rating:    3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     --

*Gore can only be performed by males who have antlers.

"Hot Damn!! We git to go deer huntin'!"

"And we're even gettin' paid for it!"

10 minutes later

"Abner...somethin' seem...odd 'bout these deer to you?"

Dire Whitetail deer are a scourge well known for devouring grass that farmers need for their herds (and sometimes  their crops as well depending on what they're growing).  Many an adventurer has earned money (and a nice relaxing vacation) hunting deer.  Many of these adventurers are also coincidentally rural Barbarians and Rangers, but still...

Overrun (Ex): If the Dire Whitetail Deer performs an Overrun as part of a charge, it does not provoke an attack of opportunity, and also does 1d8+6 damage  to it's opponent if successful.

Multiple Stomachs (Ex) Dire Whitetail Deer get a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves vs Ingested poisons.

Combat: Deer will only fight if necessary or spooked.  Usually they run over their opponent while fleeing.



Giant Whitetail Deer
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be taking a look at yet another side business of Farmer John."

A Hunter's Dream
"Let me guess.  You're appealing to big game hunters?"

"Yes sir.  And there's nothing hunters like more than deer."

"Do they have any effects on the local ecosystem?"


Crop Munchers

"Not so long as you put deer repellent around your crops, and keep their numbers under control."

"So you introduced a danger to the environment that needs to be culled regularly?"

"Isn't it genius?"

[bhu]

Dire Muntjac Deer
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+3 (16 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+12
Attack:               Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack:          Bite +5 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Multiple Stomachs
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:                Run, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary or Group (2-4)
Challenge Rating:    1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     --

"This guy says his deer are more normal size like."

"I dunno Abner.  I kinda liked the biggie sized ones.

"Uh...Bert...these deer have teeth."

"All deer have teeth Abner."

"Yeah but these got fangs! OMG they're like cute lil sharks of the forest!"

Muntjac are normally small asian deer with downward pointing fangs.  Dire Muntjac are a little bigger, and a little more eager to nibble on strangers if ya know what I mean...

Multiple Stomachs (Ex): Dire Muntjac Deer get a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves vs Ingested poisons.

Combat:  Muntjac deer tend to nibble experimentally and run away.  Then come back when you're sleeping and nibble harder.  And run away.  Again.  We should probably stop before we're tempted to use profanity...



Giant Muntjac Deer
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be inexplicably becoming a hunting program."

Fnags? On My Deer?
"So this would be some exotic deer species?"

"Yes sir, they use the tusks to fight for mates."

"How are you convincing people to hunt them, as opposed to traditional deer?"

"We tell ''em they're vampires."

Voracious Eaters of Undergrowth
"Is it safe to allow them to roam free?"

"In the short term.  In the long term they eat too much undergrowth to not be checked."

"So once again you've monetized a problem you created?"

"I don't care for your tone sir..."

[bhu]

Dire Ostrich
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+24 (51 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                80 ft. (16 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+15
Attack:               Kick +10 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack:          1 Kick +10 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Peck +5 melee (1d4+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:                Listen +9, Spot +10
Feats:                Endurance, Power Attack, Run
Environment:          Warm Plains or Desert
Organization:         Solitary, Pair or Herd (5-50)
Challenge Rating:    3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Maaaan, ah liked the deer huntin'.  Howcum we gotta be out here huntin' birds again?"

"Ah never liked me no birds.  Nossir."

"Just ain't no sport in it"

"WAAAAAK"

"Abner...thet ain't no pigeon..."


Dire Ostriches are occasionally farmed for food.  Mostly they're avoided as too dangerous though.  One kick does a serious amount of damage.

Hardy (Ex): Ostriches have a +2 Racial bonus on Fortitude checks to avoid dehydration, or to avoid ill effects from exposure to the elements.

Skills: Ostriches gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks when lying still in the tall grasses of their native savanna habitat.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen and Spot checks.

Combat: Ostriches usually kick their opponents till they stop moving, or flee if they seem too troublesome.





Giant Ostrich
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we've apparently gone back to farm animals."

The Devil's Chickens
"Aren't the regular versions of these dangerous enough?"

"Oh yes, quite.  That's why we stopped farming them for Rheas.  Couldn't turn the remaining birds loose though.  They might breed in the  wild and take over."

"Compassion and mercy?  From a Wizard?"

"Don't you judge me."

Unusually Fast
"So what do you do with the eggs?"

"We have a lot of critters who aren't picky eaters..."

[bhu]

Okapi
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+14
Attack:               Hoof +9 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack:         2 Hooves +9 melee (1d8+7)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Overrun
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 6
Skills:               Listen +5, Spot +5
Feats:               Endurance, Run, Improved Overrun (B)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-7 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Okay...seriously Abner what is this thing?"

Overrun (Ex): When successfully performing an Overrun you also do 1d8+7 damage to the opponent.

Skills: Okapi have a +6 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in Jungle settings.

Combat: Okapis are shy, and usually hit attackers a round or two with hooves before fleeing (sometimes fleeing through the attackers).



Okapi
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I witness one of nature's rare wonders."

Originally A Cryptid!
"How did you find one of these?"

"Stumbled across a few in the forest, and decided to bring them back for study and preservation."

"Are they really related to Giraffes?"

"As best we can determine yes."

First Thought To Be A Subspecies of Unicorn
"You Gargantua'd them didn't you?"

"Of course."



                      Dire Okapi
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             12d8+72 (126 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-2 Size, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +9/+28
Attack:               Hoof +18 melee (2d6+11)
Full Attack:          2 Hooves +18 melee (2d6+11)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Trample (2d8+11)
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +14, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 32, Dex 10, Con 22, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +9, Spot +8
Feats:               Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Overrun, Power Attack, Run
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          13-16 HD (Large); 17-36 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Crap it has an uncle..."

Dire Okapi are shy forest dwellers who apparently like stomping on anything that spooks them.

Trample (Ex): DC 27 Reflex Save for half damage.

Skills: Okapi have a +6 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in Jungle settings.

Combat: Dire Okapis are a little tougher mentally than their regular brethren, and willingly stand toe to toe with opponents, usually trying to trample them.



Giant Okapi
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, nature is somewhat less wonderful."

Weren't They Already Good Enough?
"Why was this necessary?"

"Necessary has nothing to do with it."

"I would have thought farming Wizards would be more...pragmatic..."

"Look, we biggie-size everything.  It's what we do here."

Very Shy For Their Size
"Well at least you didn't expand regular Giraffes.  They're more than big enough."

"Funny you should mention that..."

[bhu]

Dire Rhea
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+3 (16 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+5
Attack:               Kick +5 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack:          Kick +5 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 15, Con 13, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:                Endurance, Run
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"More birds? Dammit Abner I thought we wuz done with birds after the last fiasco."

"They said these birds wuz smaller."

"The last birds were almost elephant size dammit!"

"You hear a rumblin' sound like a herd of cattle or somethin'?"

Dire Rheas are smaller than Dire Ostriches, but no less dangerous.  Especially during the breeding season when their flocks break up and scatter...

Combat: Rheas fight similar to Ostriches.  Kick and run.



Giant Rhea
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching a flock of birds launch themselves chest first at Jim's forcewall."

Aggressive During The Snuggle Season
"They are quite angry, aren't they?"

"Only during mating season.  The rest of the year, they're fine."

"How do farmhands survive the mating season?"

"They don't, so we stopped farming the Rheas too."

Not As Fast As Ostriches, For Which We Are Thankful
"So what do you do with the eggs?"

"The same as the Ostriches."

[bhu]

Dire Swan
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+6 (19 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 80 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+4
Attack:               Bite +4 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack:          Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) and 2 Wing Slaps -1 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Rouse
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +10
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance
Environment:          Any Temperate
Organization:         Domesticated, Solitary, Pair, or Flock
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"So what's this weeks assignment Abner?"

"S'nother bird"

"Oh Jebus wept..."

Dire Swans are raised as living ornaments, and sometimes as guard animals.  They are surprisingly mean tempered after all, and make decent guard animals as they're quite loud when surprised or angered.

Hold Breath (Ex): Dire Swans may hold their breath for (4 times Constitution modifier) before it risks drowning.

Rouse (Ex):  If the Swan spots something it hasn't seen before it unleashes such sonic Hell it can be heard for a mile away.  Anything within 100 feet is instantly awakened, even if it is unconscious due to magic (but not due to damage). 

Skills: Dire Swans have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always take 10 on a Swim check.

Combat: Swans tend to charge forward and start biting.  They're loud, and very much not subtle.




Giant Swans
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the more unusual side of Farmer John's pets.

Mess With The Honk, You Get The Bonk
"So these are pretty much vanity pets for the wealthy aren't they?"

"Oh, no sir.  They make good early warning systems too."

"When I was a young man, I remember the Swans on our homestead.  They made quite the ruckus whenever there were visitors.  Announced or otherwise.."


Overly Aggressive

"Speaking of which, they seem to be stampeding our way..."

"Yeah, I need to teach them not to charge the guests.  They're stubborn that way."

[bhu]

Dire Ibis
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          14 (+1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+5
Attack:               Bite +5 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack:          Bite +5 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +5, Search +3, Spot +5, Swim +10
Feats:                Alertness, improved Initiative
Environment:          Warm Marsh or Forest
Organization:          Solitary, Pair, or Colony (5-30)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          5-6 HD (Medium), 7-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Swamps.  Ah hate swamps."

"Calm down Abner."

"Ain't nuthin' good comes out of swamps..."

"We've done worse..."

"Ah was sued by thet Medusa last time we went into a swamp..."

Ibis are wading birds that are normally harmless to people, but Dire Ibis flocks can wipe out fish supplies if left unchecked.

Hold Breath (Ex): Dire Ibis may hold their breath for (4 times Constitution modifier) before it risks drowning.

Skills: Dire Ibis gain a +8 Racial Bonus to all Swim Checks, and a +4 Racial Bonus to all Search Checks.

Combat: Ibis normally peck at opponents, and retreat if they are troublesome.



Giant Ibis
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be visiting Farmer Johns birdhouse."

Highly Territorial When Nesting or Feeding
"I'm surprised you didn't use these to sabotage shrimp farmers."

"We did.  But they did  nothing but fight each other."

"They can be aggressive."

"Then there were the cultists..."

Religious Symbols
"Cultists?"

"A lot of religions use them as symbols.  Ever wake up to a bunch of hooded weirdos standing over your bed yammering about their Great Bird God?."

"That would be a hard no."

[bhu]

Dire Pelican
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft., Fly 90 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+10
Attack:               Bite +5 melee (1d8+3)
Full Attack:          Bite +5 melee (1d8+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Snatch, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +11
Feats:                Flyby Attack, Hover
Environment:          Any Warm or Temperate
Organization:         Solitary or Creche (20-100)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Hold still Bert."

"It hzz ma hed in it's mouf."

"Ah got a fish.  The man down to the pier said they like fish.   Heeeere birdie birdie birdie..."

Dire Pelicans are evil fish eating monsters.  Or at least that's what the fishermen say.  Of course fishermen tend to drink a lot...

Snatch (Ex): The Dire Pelican can use the Snatch Feat despite not qualifying for it on opponents up to 2 Size Classes Smaller than itself.

Swallow Whole (Ex): A Dire Pelican can Swallow Whole any opponent it has grabbed if it is up to two size classes smaller than itself.  The swallowed opponent takes 1d6+3 bludgeoning damage and 3 points of acid damage per round it is inside the Pelicans stomach.  The victim may cut it's way out with a light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 15 points of damage to it (AC 11).  Once the victim exits muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed victims must cut their own way out.  The Dire Pelicans stomach can hold 1 Small, 4 Tiny, or 16 Diminutive or smaller opponents.

Skills: Dire Pelicans gain a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks.

Combat:  Dire Pelicans are pretty brave if their opponent is smaller than them.  And composed of some sort of fishlike substance.  But occasionally they go mean and attack bigger prey.



Giant Pelicans
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at one of nature's biggest nuisances."

A Fisher's Competition
"That was a little pointed Harlan..."

"Yes, what have Pelicans ever done to you?"

"They're thieves, they defecate  everywhere, and they are rife with disease and parasites.  One of them killed my pet fish, Binky."


Gluttons

"But eating fish is what they do Harlan..."

"Indeed, that's why we use them to hit fisheries from the air."

[bhu]

Dire Komodo Dragon
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+24 (51 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+14
Attack:               Bite +9 melee (2d6+6 plus poison) or Tail Slap +9 melee (2d6+6 plus trip)
Full Attack:          Bite +9 melee (2d6+6 plus poison) or Tail Slap +9 melee (2d6+6 plus trip)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison, Tail Sweep
Special Qualities:    Enhanced Scent, Running Spurt, Low Metabolism, Disease Resistant
Saves:                Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 23, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Hide +1, Listen +1, Move Silently +6, Spot +1
Feats:                Ability Focus (Poison), improved Initiative, Run
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:    5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---
 
"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDSSSSSSSS!"

Dire Komodos are larger, meaner versions of their regular cousins.

Poison (Ex): Injury, DC 19 Fort Save, Initial Damage is 1d4 Strength and opponent continues to lose 1 hp per round until the victim takes 1 hp of magical healing or a DC 15 heal Check is made due to continual blood loss.  Secondary damage is 2d4 Strength.

Tail Sweep (Ex): If the Dire Komodo successfully hits with it's Tail Slap, it may immediately make a Trip Attempt as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it fails it's opponent does not get a Trip attack in return.

Enhanced Scent (Ex): This works like the regular Scent ability, except that it can smell blood/carrion up to 2 miles away.

Running Spurt (Ex): The Komodo can increase it's base land speed by +30 feet for 1 round per point of Constitution modifier.  Once used it must rest for 1 hour before it can use the Running Spurt again.

Low Metabolism (Ex): Dire Komodos can go up to a month without food before needing to make Fortitude checks against starvation.

Disease Resistant (Ex): Dire Komodos gain a +2 Resistance Bonus on Fortitude Saves against disease.

Combat: Komodos usually attack by ambush, and then let the prey run, confident it will bleed out, and that it's Improved Scent will let it track the animal to it's location of demise.  Stubborn foes are bitten relentlessly.



Giant Spitting Cobra
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we see the last of Farmer John's few reptiles."

Their Venom Prevents Clotting
"I'm surprised youdon't have more."

"I am not by nature, a herpetologist."

"That would explain you're having these things."

"We have them because their venom may have medicinal value."

They Can Reproduce By Cloning
"Medicinal Value?."

"Yes, it's an excellent sleeping aid for my enemies..."

[bhu]

Dire Lemur
                      Tiny Animal
Hit Dice:             1/2d8 (2 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                15 ft. (15 squares), Climb 15 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Size, +3 Dex), touch 15, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-12
Attack:              Nibble +3 melee (1d2-4)
Full Attack:          Nibble +3 melee (1d2-4)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Enhanced Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
Skills:               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +11, Jump +4, Listen +4, Spot +8
Feats:                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...Bert wake up!"

"Zzzznerk..whut?  Whut's happenin'?"

"Lil' critters Bert.  They're everywhere..."

"Is that one holding your bag of smoke powder and matches?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

BOOM!

Dire Lemurs are larger versions of smaller Lemur species such as the Pygmy Mouse Lemur.  They aren't supposed to be kept as pets, but that's never stopped anyone from doing it.  Be warned, their curiosity gets them into everything.

Enhanced Low Light Vision (Ex): Lemurs can see 6 times as far as humans in shadowy illumination.

Skills: Dire Lemurs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump Checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and may use their Dex or Strength Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Lemurs use pack tactics to swipe food and run.  If cornered they will bite.



                      Epic Lemur
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Munch +4 melee (1d4+1)
Full Attack:          Munch +4 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Enhanced Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Balance +11, Climb +11, Hide +6, Jump +9, Listen +4, Spot +6
Feats:                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Ah can't believe that happened."

"Damn jungle critters.  Break out that bag of fruit Ah'm hungry."

"Uh Bert...they got relatives...big relatives.  And I think they want the fruit."

Epic Lemurs are merely Dire versions of the larger Lemur species such as the Ring Tailed Lemur.  They can be...interesting.  And not in a good way.  Most definitely not pets.

Enhanced Low Light Vision (Ex): Lemurs can see 6 times as far as humans in shadowy illumination.

Skills: Dire Lemurs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb, and Jump Checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and may use their Dex or Strength Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Epic Lemurs use pack tactics to swipe food and run.  If cornered they will bite.



Giant Lemurs
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will put our faith in the Gawds, and hope to not be arrested"

The Illegal Pet Trade
"You know these things can't be kept as pets right?  Especially if you've enlarged them?"

"Relax, we bought em all back when we figured it out."

"You had to be told they were illegal?"

"I'm a farming wizard by trade.  I just got into the pet industry, I'm not up on all the laws yet."

Who Biggified The Ringtails?

"So whose idea was it to enlarge the bigger ones?"

"No idea, but since they've beaten me down and ran off with my lunch twice I'll be firing them when I find out."

[bhu]

Dire Ankylosaur
                      Colossal Animal
Hit Dice:             45d8+600 (960 hp) 
Initiative:           -3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          30 (-8 Size, -3 Dex, +31 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 30
Base Attack/Grapple:  +33/+66
Attack:               Tail Slap +43 melee (4d6+25/19-20)
Full Attack:          Tail Slap +43 melee (4d6+25/19-20)
Space/Reach:          30 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks:      Trample 8d6+17 (DC 51), Spiny Shell, Tail Slap
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision, Low Light Vision, Scent, Thick Armor
Saves:                Fort +42, Ref +21, Will +27
Abilities:            Str 45, Dex 5, Con 35, Int 2, Wis 10, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +24, Spot +24
Feats:                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Devastating Critical (Tail Slap), Diehard, Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Tail Slap), Improved Toughness, Large and in Charge, Overwhelming Critical (Tail Slap), Power Attack, Power Critical (Tail Slap), Steadfast Determination, Weapon Focus (Tail Slap)
Environment:          Warm Hills and Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     23
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          46-92 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"The good news is it's not a Tarrasque.  The bad news is it still looks pretty darn mean..."

Dire Ankylosaurs are pretty rare, and the occasion when two individuals of the opposite sex meet to mate are even rarer.  So the good thing is the world isn't exactly overrun with them.  On the other side they're just too darn stubborn to die.

Thick Armor (Ex): Dire Ankylosaurs are immune to criticals and may not be flanked.  They also gain maximum hit points per hit die.

Trample (Ex): 8d6+17 (DC 51).

Spiny Shell (Ex): The armored shell of the Dire Ankylosaur is covered in bony spikes, and opponents of Gargantuan Size Class or bigger that attack them with an unarmed strike or a natural weapon take 1d6 plus their own Strength Modifier in damage.

Tail Slap (Ex): Any living creature that is not immune to criticals struck by the Dire Ankylosaurs tail must make a DC 51 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Strength based) or be Stunned for 1d3 rounds.

Combat: Ankylosaurs immediately wade in with the tail if surprised, otherwise they wait for an opponent to charge and lash out.



Giant Ankylosaur
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom I begin to question Farmer Johns state of mind."

Holy Mother off Gawd!
"Are you sure you're legally allowed to walk around free?"

"Jim, you wound me."

"The Guild will know of this..."

"Shove It Harlan."

Living Wrecking Ball
"What is thing for?"

"Proof of concept.  A matter of pride.  Vengeance.."

[bhu]

Dire Kangaroo
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+10
Attack:               Paw +9 melee (1d8+6)
Full Attack:          2 Paws +9 melee (1d8+6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Spring Kick
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Short Term Speed, Scent
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +7, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 22, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Jump +14, Listen +5, Spot +5
Feats:                Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Troop (5-12)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"You hired us ta fight mice?  Bert we can't fight mice.  The other adventurers will make fun of us.  Wtf man?"

"No no, I said they look like mice.  Kind of.  But not really."

"We're fightin' some horrifyin' abomination of nature agin aren't we?"

Dire Kangaroos are mischievous roos about 13 foot tall that like to grapple and box the humanoid races for sport.  They're kinda mean.  But the locals say they taste pretty good.  Of course the locals may be biased because the roos beat the crap out of them on a daily basis.

Improved Grab (Ex):  If a Dire Kangaroo hits with it's Paw attack, it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Paw damage each round as it continues to wail on it's grappled victim.

Spring Kick (Ex): As a Full Attack Action the kangaroo jumps up and slams both back claws into it's opponents mid section.  It does 4d6+6 damage.

Short Term Speed (Ex): Once per hour, a Kangaroo can move ten times its normal speed (500 feet) for a number of rounds equal to it's Constitution modifier.

Skills: Dire Kangaroos have a +8 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.

Combat: Dire Kangaroos open with a charge if the opponent isn't close, and immediately close to begin grappling if they are.



Giant Kangaroo
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be...Oh hell, not these things."

Surprisingly Aggressive
"Bad experience with Kangaroos, Harlan?"

"In his defense, they can be creepy."

"Look at that one.  Look at how it's just setting there.  Looming."

"Yeah, that's normal for him.  We think he's a serial killer."

Few Natural Predators

"And you keep him around?"

"Jim, he punched a Dragon once."

"And he's still alive?"

[bhu]

Dire Rock Wallaby
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+3
Attack:               Paw +4 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack:          2 Paws +4 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 5
Skills:               Climb +11, Jump +6, Listen +6, Spot +5
Feats:                Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Warm Hills or Mountains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (6-100)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"These lil not mouse critters seem nicer than the bigger ones."

"Uh...Abner the tall male is lookin' at you kinda funny like...like he's mad or somethin'..."

Dire Rock Wallabies are almost the size of regular kangaroos.  Meaning they look like...kangaroos.  Kangaroos with attitude who look like they want to kick your behind.  For no better reason than that you're there.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Dire Wallaby hits with it's Paw attack, it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Paw damage each round as it continues to wail on it's grappled victim.

Skills: Dire Rock Wallabies gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks and a +4 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.  Wallabies can always Take 10 on a Climb Check, and can use their Str or Dex modifier for Climb Checks (whichever is higher).

Combat: Unexpectedly feistier than their larger kin, Wallabies charge en masse and begin wailing on everything in their path.



Giant Rock Wallaby
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be reviewing Kangaroos again."

Born Wrong
"These are Wallabies Harlan."

"Perhaps he's had bad experiences with them too."

"A group of them beat me like a rag doll once."

"Really?  We thought their mind-numbing aggression was a flaw in the magical process."

They Really Do Live On Rocks

"Um...how aggressive?"

"They beat me once too.  I think they sensed I was out of spells."

[bhu]

Dire Penguin
                      Gargantuan Animal
Hit Dice:             12d8+96 (150 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Swim 80 ft.
Armor Class:          20 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +15 natural), touch 5, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple:  +9/+33
Attack:               Beak +17 melee (2d6+12)
Full Attack:          1 Beak +17 melee (2d6+12) and 2 Flipper Slaps +12 melee (1d8+6)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks:      Belly Flop, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
Saves:                Fort +16, Ref +7, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 35, Dex 9, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 18
Skills:               Listen +8, Spot +9, Swim +20
Feats:                Cold Endurance, Endurance, Improved Cold Endurance, Large and in Charge, Swim By Attack
Environment:          Cold Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Flock (11-30), or Colony (31-100)
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          13-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Screw this Bert.  It's cold, Ah'm hungry, and you didn't tell me we wuz goin' after birds agin.  Ah'm beginnin' to develop a complex bout birds dammit."

Dire Penguins are simply enormous versions of their more traditional cousins.  They're loud, stinky, and wonderful to watch.  As long as you're far away.  Especially during mating or nesting season.

Belly Flop (Ex): The Dire Penguin can fall on any creature two sizes smaller than itself doing 2d8+24 damage (DC 28 Reflex Save for half Damage, Save DC is Strength Based).  This works like Trample in every way but one: If the opponent fails to make his Saving Throw, he is considered Pinned in a Grapple.  Each round the DP can make a Grapple Check to successfully move him 10 feet, simultaneously doing 1d8+12 damage as it grinds it's opponent into the ground.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, the Dire Penguin must hit a Large or smaller opponent with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.

Swallow Whole (Ex):  The Dire Penguin can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of Large or smaller size by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d8+8 points of crushing damage plus 2d8+6 points of acid damage per round from the Dire Penguin’s digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out by dealing 50 points of damage to the Dire Penguin’s digestive tract (AC 17). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out. The Dire Penguin’s gullet can hold 2 Large, 8 Medium, 32 Small, or 128 Tiny or smaller creatures.

Skills: Dire Penguins have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action when swimming in a straight line.

Combat:  Dire Penguins will bite and slap opponents of similar size.  Against smaller opponents, they fall on them pinning them to the ground before dragging them across the ice.



Giant Penguin
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be ..."

Surprisingly Mean
"Cat got your tongue Harlan??"

"It's only a Penguin."

"How man of these are there?"

"Just the one, they're too expensive to feed."

Fun To Watch Though
"How do you feed all these animals anyway?"

"A very aggressive program of blackmail..."