Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM could say  (Read 112850 times)

Offline stanprollyright

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #360 on: October 02, 2015, 04:36:24 PM »
"Surprise Round for the Tarrasque"
"His penis does critical damage"
Goats are like mushrooms
If you shoot a duck I'm scared of toasters

Offline Libertad

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #361 on: October 04, 2015, 03:54:57 PM »
"I hate Tome of Battle."

"Isn't Drizz't Do'Urden the coolest?"

Offline CaptRory

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #362 on: October 05, 2015, 03:43:02 AM »

"Isn't Drizz't Do'Urden the coolest?"

"I'm playing a Drow Ranger."

"He dual wields two scimitars."

"Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc."

Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #363 on: October 05, 2015, 06:45:33 AM »
"I hate Tome of Battle."

"You must use Complete Psionic"

Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #364 on: October 05, 2015, 09:07:54 AM »
"I hate Tome of Battle."

"You must use Complete Psionic"
"Everyone, roll up a Truenamer."



"Flask rogues are too powerful."

"Fireball's better than crowd control."
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Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #365 on: October 05, 2015, 09:25:55 AM »
"I hate Tome of Battle."

"You must use Complete Psionic"
"Everyone, roll up a Truenamer."
"You are all using Samurai"

(On a side note, I'm one of those people with a soft spot for the Truenamer, despite its terribleness. So I wouldn't mind that one.)

"We're only using my homebrew"

"An encounter from the BoEF" (Erotic Fantasy)

"Orcus readies the nipple clamps."

"...attacked by a doll golem horde."

Offline Fredgerd

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #366 on: October 20, 2015, 07:18:33 PM »
Did anyone else read these? (holding up core rulebooks)

The hengeyokai begin moaning erotically.

The greenhag licks your ear.

http://postimg.org/image/8hspnbcv1/

Offline Necrosnoop110

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #367 on: October 21, 2015, 10:49:15 AM »

Offline Psysama

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #368 on: October 22, 2015, 12:22:38 AM »
(After dice roll) Think I need a drink.
Signature here.

Offline faeryn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #369 on: October 27, 2015, 11:36:18 PM »
"I hate Tome of Battle."

O.o do you know my DM? He said those exact words... several times...

Offline CaptRory

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #370 on: October 28, 2015, 02:46:17 PM »
"I hate Tome of Battle."

O.o do you know my DM? He said those exact words... several times...

You mean your former DM... riiiiiiiiiight~?  :bigeyes



Offline Lokiyn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #371 on: October 28, 2015, 03:46:32 PM »
"I determine what roleplay is"
"remember, this is my world"
"You are just a player"
"wanting things makes you entitled"
"you'll play what i want"
"no homebrew but my homebrew"
Joined WotC Forums Feb 2004, watched it die on Nov 5th ~12:18 Oct 2015
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Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #372 on: October 28, 2015, 03:57:34 PM »
"no homebrew but my homebrew"

This one is actually really common, even in official settings. Dark Sun, Dragonlance, or any other heavily customized setting springs to mind.

Offline Lokiyn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #373 on: October 28, 2015, 04:55:10 PM »
This one is actually really common, even in official settings. Dark Sun, Dragonlance, or any other heavily customized setting springs to mind.
True, but i generally see it mixed in with the others combined with horrible restrictive creation rules and broken dmpc's. you know, the sort of dm who punishes you for "covering your weaknesses" (by doing things like asking if you can buy a resistance item for something you have a weakness in) then makes a prc for his npc that gets true strike at will. I generally hear the phrase then start checking for conductor hats to be safe.
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Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #374 on: October 28, 2015, 05:07:10 PM »
True, but i generally see it mixed in with the others combined with horrible restrictive creation rules and broken dmpc's. you know, the sort of dm who punishes you for "covering your weaknesses" (by doing things like asking if you can buy a resistance item for something you have a weakness in) then makes a prc for his npc that gets true strike at will. I generally hear the phrase then start checking for conductor hats to be safe.

I'm usually not that bad. I just make monsters for myself :P

Back on subject:

"Spiders nest inside your flesh"
"The aboleth nuzzles you sweetly"
"Today, a Tier 6 campaign"
"That's not your real alignment"
"Save against the gnome penis"

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #375 on: October 28, 2015, 06:13:33 PM »
Randomly determined race and class!

Offline faeryn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #376 on: October 29, 2015, 06:18:00 AM »
"One sec, just fixing somthing"
"Roll a d20 for me" <-- at completely random moments and never tells you what it was for... but he laughs histarically when you roll a 1 and gets abnormally silent when you roll a 20...
"Whats your weakest save again?"
"...casts Reciprocal Gyre on you" <-- might as well be instant death in a high magic game...

Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #377 on: October 29, 2015, 07:46:26 AM »
Randomly determined race and class!
3d6, in order, no rerolls.
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Offline Lokiyn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #378 on: October 29, 2015, 10:51:09 AM »
"The Warlock cannot be used,
(Due to class balance reasons)"
"My Gf will co-dm tonight,
(she's never played, it's ok)"
Joined WotC Forums Feb 2004, watched it die on Nov 5th ~12:18 Oct 2015
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Offline stanprollyright

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #379 on: October 30, 2015, 10:14:12 AM »
3d6, in order, no rerolls.

AAAAHHHH I've actually done that.  We were all goblins.  Much dying was had.
Goats are like mushrooms
If you shoot a duck I'm scared of toasters