Every writer has a process. This is fact. Some write the skeleton of a story before the story proper, some keep it all in their heads.
I'll share what I can.
First of all, I used to share number three. The Tales have shown me this is not always so. As long as you write, someone will find it amusing. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but if enough people read it, then someone will find it interesting.
Second of all, number four is a feature, not a bug. You will often find that one idea that doesn't look like it has its place in a given story does in another - or that an idea that sounded awesome really isn't that good. It's part of how writing works. What you CAN do is set hard limits to your story. Start writing realistic (or semi-realistic ) stories, and work your way up towards progressively more fantastic. Given enough time, you will learn to police yourself in keeping a given theme in check, and to file away certain ideas for different stories.
Third: The answer to number 2, I believe, is music. The sounds behind a given scene set a mood like nothing else. Perhaps more to the point, the written word does NOT have the power to convey emotion or meaning by itself. Only the reader's brain can do that, and the task of a writer isn't to transmit a mental image to someone else's head, it's to give him the pieces and let him build the picture himself.
Fourth: The reason behind number one is fear. This may appear so blatantly obvious it doesn't bear mentioning, but trust me, it does. It's not 'simple' insecurity, the inability to believe a metaphorical part of you reaching out to someone has the capacity to produce good for both, it's fear of what happens when you do touch that someone and you don't get what you expected. But the thing about fear is that, in this instance, it serves no purpose. Fear is a limiter to the things we do, a limiter that's supposed to be there to keep us from accidentally killing ourselves. But writing cannot lead to suicide, much less the emotional kind.
If it helps any: I would be willing to read anything and everything you'd write, Amechra. I used to think in much the same terms you do, and if it helps, you'd probably make a better writer anyway.
PM me your stuff sometime.