Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM can hear  (Read 39437 times)

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #100 on: August 06, 2013, 04:04:52 PM »
"Another NPC?  Face stabbing time!"

Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #101 on: August 07, 2013, 07:15:23 PM »
"I may...have taken Viagra..."

Offline Raineh Daze

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #102 on: August 07, 2013, 07:19:01 PM »
"I poisoned all your notes."

Offline linklord231

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #103 on: August 07, 2013, 07:45:36 PM »
I took Perform: Male Revue
I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.

Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #104 on: October 16, 2015, 07:19:49 PM »
Can I play a gnome named Dingleberry?

Only if it's an arseplomancer.

Offline faeryn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #105 on: October 20, 2015, 12:03:43 AM »
"You still don't hit me"
"Do I need to roll?" <- usually follows the previous statement...

"But I have Trapfinding" technically 4 words but still...

"Let me look somethin up"

"What can I summon again?" <- actually happened... a lot... the guys turns lasted over 15 minutes each of him looking through the monster manual to find a creature to summon...

"Did I kill it yet?"

"Can I even fail it?"

Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #106 on: October 20, 2015, 01:57:02 PM »
"What can I summon again?
"How many can I summon?"
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Offline Nanshork

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #107 on: October 20, 2015, 02:18:42 PM »
Who has my character sheet?

Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #108 on: October 20, 2015, 07:23:32 PM »
I say "Pazuzu Pazuzu Pazuzu"

Offline Raineh Daze

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #109 on: October 20, 2015, 08:10:44 PM »
"My character doesn't speak common"

(this lead to a game breaking up for me)

This is actually one of my characters. Since everyone can speak Elvish (or Undercommon, not sure which) it isn't a big deal outside of the human places, anyway. Which she hates being in. :lmao

"I seduce the important guy"

Right after failing at intimidating him. The same game also had regularly repeated "your arm's broken" since another player kept trying to do things with two hands.

Offline SolEiji

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #110 on: October 20, 2015, 09:07:59 PM »
"My character doesn't speak common"

(this lead to a game breaking up for me)

This is actually one of my characters. Since everyone can speak Elvish (or Undercommon, not sure which) it isn't a big deal outside of the human places, anyway. Which she hates being in. :lmao

"I seduce the important guy"

Right after failing at intimidating him. The same game also had regularly repeated "your arm's broken" since another player kept trying to do things with two hands.

This came up with us briefly in our Witch U games.  In that setting Common is technically Witchtongue, a magical language all witches know.  Due to reasons, we weren't able to use our witch powers and subsequently also lost Common.  Turns out, the party was split with a bunch of different languages, with half of us speaking Infernal and the other half French (because this is Earth).

Oh, and yes...

"You can't, it's a cutscene."
Mudada.

Offline faeryn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #111 on: October 20, 2015, 11:26:30 PM »
"My character can fly naturally"

"I'll take the doors too" <-- It happened... seriously...

"I'm Immune to sneak attacks"

"Did you just try to..." <-- often followed by some serious cheese...

"Hang on, need more dice"

"Can I roll that again?"

"Can you roll that again?"

*long drawn out silence followed by maniacal laghter* "All according to my plan" <-- usually a good time to spring some unsurvivable trap on said player... you know... just because...

Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #112 on: October 21, 2015, 03:37:02 PM »
"So then the doctor said ... "
Your codpiece is a mimic.

Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #113 on: October 31, 2015, 05:47:06 PM »
"I bite his nutsack off."

(there's a story behind this)

Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #114 on: October 31, 2015, 05:58:51 PM »
"Fuck it, I'm casting Wish"

Last night, I had to use Time Stop AND Wish to accomplish something. The rest of the evening was spent with the DM trying to figure out how the hell to work with the results.

Offline zook1shoe

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #115 on: November 13, 2015, 05:48:04 PM »
"Here's my character, Tay Tay" says creepy 70 yo lawyer guy
"Tay Tay sings 'X' song" while running away from battle

(This all actually happened in our PFS group. His pedophile ass also the become the butt of the jokes ever since he rage quit PF entirely, after oogling over a 14 yo girls chest for previous 4-5hr game)

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Offline stanprollyright

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #116 on: November 13, 2015, 07:25:13 PM »
"Mom says to Resurrect me"

"You asked for optimization, chief."

"What's my attack bonus again?"

"My character is a rapist"

"Your DMing turns me on"

"I'm playing a master baker"
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Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #117 on: November 16, 2015, 09:31:25 AM »
"I'm playing a master baker"

"I'm playing a master baiter."

followed by: "What? No. I mean Profession(fisher)."
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Offline Raineh Daze

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #118 on: November 16, 2015, 12:02:47 PM »
"Mom says to Resurrect me"

"You asked for optimization, chief."

"What's my attack bonus again?"

"My character is a rapist"

"Your DMing turns me on"

"I'm playing a master baker"

I've actually asked the third one, because of levelling confusion. :lmao

Offline faeryn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM can hear
« Reply #119 on: November 19, 2015, 04:29:13 AM »
"Can you repeat the rules?"