4th-ing Raineh Daze on realism ...
Now that's not to say, you
can't have a phase
of the game mimic very closely the (so called)
Real World. Some people clearly prefer early
Harry Potter or combat similar to MMA ... or
even Pokeman with the kiddies.
"Gritty" can be either an adjective, or a crunch mechanic.
You don't have to play 4e where the PCs cakewalk.
You can play 3e with the Lords Of Madness tougher difficulty.
But in both cases, the Party could be Heroes defending
the little people from the bbeg, triumph over evil, etc.
And in all these cases, the
feel might not be gritty at all.
"extreme cynicism" ... might be a completely reasonable
attitude by non lawful evils, trapped on the 7th level of Hell.
I can help you get out.
No, you can't ; not even gonna say prove it.