Kitty Magic [5E]

[bhu]

reserved for list

[bhu]

+3 Cheeseburger
4th Level Enchantment (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 ft.
Components: V, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This spell summons a meaty, delicious cheeseburger anywhere within the spells range (usually in front of a lone guard while being cast from hiding).  Creatures of your choice that you can see within range and that can see the burger must make a Wisdom saving throw.  A target automatically succeeds on this saving throw if it can’t be charmed. On a failed save, a target is affected by this spell. Targets affected by the spell use as much of their movement as possible to reach the cheeseburger.  The first one to reach it takes his Action to pick up and eat the burger.  Whichever target bites into the burger first must make an additional Wisdom Save, and if it  fails it is Stunned for 1 round.  Once a target bites into the burger the spell ends.


A CAT'S REVENGE
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose 1 target within range.  It must make a Constitution Saving Throw or violently cough up a hairball, leaving it Stunned for 1 round


AGGRESSIVE CAT IS AGGRESSIVE
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell, you gain Advantage with the following: Attack rolls, Constitution Saving Throws, and Intimidation Skill Checks.  The speed of your primary means of mobility (usually either land or swim movement) increases by an additional 10 feet.  Successful attacks you make do an additional 1d damage once per round.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.

BASEMENT CAT
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Charisma Saving Throws and with Perception and Stealth Skill Checks.  You are also surrounded by a 15 foot radius sphere of Darkness (as per the spell) for the spells duration, which you can see through.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


BIG KITTY
9th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Target: Self
Components: V, S, M (a handful of Giant Tiger fur)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour.
You assume the form of a Giant Cat for the Duration. The new form has a Challenge rating equal to your level.

Your game Statistics are replaced by the Statistics of the Cat, though you retain your Alignment and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores You also retain all of your skill and saving throw Proficiencies, in addition to gaining those of the Cat, If the Cat has the same Proficiency as you, and the bonus listed in its Statistics is higher than yours, use the Cat's bonus in place of yours.

You assume the Hit Points and Hit Dice of the new form. When you revert to your normal form, you return to the number of Hit Points you had before you transformed. If you revert as a result of dropping to 0 Hit Points, any excess damage carries over to your normal form. As long as the excess damage doesn't reduce your normal form to 0 Hit Points, you aren't knocked Unconscious.

You retain the benefit of any features from your class, race, or other source and can use them, provided that your new form is physically capable of doing so. You can't use any Special Senses you have (for example, darkvision) unless your new form also has that sense. You can only speak if the creature can normally speak.

When you transform, you choose whether your Equipment falls to the ground, merges into the new form, or is worn by it. Worn Equipment functions as normal. The DM determines whether it is practical for the new form to wear a piece of Equipment, based on the creature's shape and size. Your Equipment doesn't change shape or size to match the new form, and any Equipment that the new form can't wear must either fall to the ground or merge into your new form. Equipment that merges has no Effect in that state.









CAT GRAVITY
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You have Advantage on Strength (Athletics) checks meant to Grapple opponents for the duration of this spell.  Creatures you successfully Grapple also become Prone.


CEILING CAT
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Wisdom Saving Throws and with Insight and Investigation Skill Checks. Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells, with the exception of Scorching Ray.


DANDER BLAST
4th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self (60 foot line)
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
A line of strong wind 60 feet long and 10 feet wide blasts from you in a direction you choose for the spell’s duration. Each creature that starts its turn in the line must succeed on a Strength saving throw or be pushed 15 feet away from you in a direction following the line.

Any creature in the line must spend 2 feet of movement for every 1 foot it moves when moving closer to you.

The gust disperses gas or vapor, and it extinguishes candles, torches, and similar unprotected flames in the area. It also causes protected flames, such as those of lanterns, to extinguish.  Large fires (such as bonfires, a blacksmith's coals, or even a house fire) have a 50% chance to be extinguished by the wind.  Forest or grassland fires are too large to be extinguished by this spell.

As a bonus action on each of your turns before the spell ends, you can change the direction in which the line blasts from you.  Creatures in the area of effect must make a Constitution Saving Throw or be Poisoned for the duration of the spell.


DANDER EXPLOSION
8th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self (60 Ft. Radius)
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
There is an explosion of cat dander, centered on the hex you occupy.  Everything in the Radius must make a Constitution Saving Throw or gain one Level of Exhaustion and be Stunned.  The Stunned creature gains another Constitution Saving Throw each round at the end of it's turn.  If it succeeds, it is no longer Stunned. Vision is completely obscured in the area of the explosion of fur for the round of the spells casting, and the round afterwards.  Anything attacking something in the spells Area of Effect is at Disadvantage on the Attack roll.  Anything in the area of effect must also make a Dexterity Saving throw or be knocked prone as well.  Material component is a hunk of cat fur from a large cat such as a lion or tiger.


DANDER TORNADO
9th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 300 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
A whirlwind howls down to a point on the ground you specify. The whirlwind is a 10-foot-radius, 30-foot-high cylinder centered on that point. Until the spell ends, you can use your action to move the whirlwind up to 30 feet in any direction along the ground. The whirlwind sucks up any Medium or smaller objects that aren’t secured to anything and that aren’t worn or carried by anyone. A creature must make a Dexterity saving throw the first time on a turn that it enters the whirlwind or that the whirlwind enters its space, including when the whirlwind first appears. A creature takes 10d6 bludgeoning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. In addition, a Large or smaller creature that fails the save must succeed on a Strength saving throw or become restrained in the whirlwind until the spell ends. When a creature starts its turn restrained by the whirlwind, the creature is pulled 5 feet higher inside it, unless the creature is at the top. A restrained creature moves with the whirlwind and falls when the spell ends, unless the creature has some means to stay aloft. A restrained creature can use an action to make a Strength or Dexterity check against your spell save DC. If successful, the creature is no longer restrained by the whirlwind and is hurled 3d6 × 10 feet away from it in a random direction. Additionally, creatures in the area of effect must make a Constitution Saving Throw or be Poisoned for the duration of the spell.


DEATH FROM OVERCUTENESS
9th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up 10 1 Minute
You are the cutest thing alive. All will fall before you.  You tap into the power of Kitty and briefly become an avatar of cuteness. Woe be to all on who you focus your fuzzy attention.  Each creature in a 30-foot-radius sphere centered on a point of your choice within range must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature becomes charmed for the duration. While charmed by this spell, the creature is incapacitated and has a speed of 0.  At the end of each of the charmed creature's turns, it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 4d10 psychic damage.  If it dies, the target’s skull asplodes from cuteness overload, releasing a spray of rainbows and butterflies.  On a successful save, the target fails to grasp the universal force you represent, proving they don’t appreciate you or cats in general, and the spell ends for that creature.


THE DEATH PURR
s7th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This spell begins with you purring.  This deep purr eventually begins to expand outwards and vibrate apart everything in it's area of effect.  Everything within 60 feet of you must make a Constitution Save each round they remain within the spells range.  On the first failed Save, targets are knocked Prone, and Stunned for 1 Round.  On the second Save, targets are Stunned 1 Round and take 10d6 Sonic damage.  Every round they fail a Save after the second, they are Stunned 1 Hour.


DEFENSIVE CAT IS DEFENSIVE
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Dexterity Saving Throws and with Perception and Stealth Skill Checks. You also gain a +5 Bonus to AC.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.



DETECT MUNCHIES
1st Level Divination (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
For the duration, you can sense the presence and location of edible things within 30 feet of you. You also identify the kind of food, edible plant or creature, or formerly edible creature in each case.
The spell can penetrate most barriers, but it is blocked by 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt.


DO NOT WANT
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You become immensely intimidating for the duration of this spell.  Any creature that comes within 20 ft. of you that can see or hear you must make a Wisdom Saving Throw or drop whatever it is holding and become frightened for the duration.  While frightened by this spell, a creature must take the Dash action and move away from you by the safest available route on each of its turns, unless there is nowhere to move. If the creature ends its turn in a location where it doesn’t have line of sight to you, the creature can make a Wisdom saving throw. On a successful save, the spell ends for that creature.


FOUR LOLCATS OF THE APOCALYPSE (aka Boom!)
9th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 1 Mile
Components: V, S, F
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose any 1 point within range, and a massive explosion radiates out from that point in a 160 foot sphere.  Every creature within this area other than yourself must make a Dexterity Saving Throw.  The sphere spreads around corners.  Victims take 40d6 Force damage on a failed Save, or half as much damage on a successful one.


GIMME A BREAK HERE
9th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
You can beg the Gawds for a favor when you're on hard times.  The basic use of this spell is to duplicate any spell of 6th Level or lower so long as it's pertinent to your current problem.  For example if you're cornered in a dungeon you  could use this to cast a spell to attack them, to summon help or attack them.  You couldn't cast Awaken though.


HAPPYCAT
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Charisma Saving Throws and with Perform and Persuasion Skill Checks.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells, with the exception of Charm Person or Charm Monster.


HOVER CAT
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Dexterity Saving Throws and Perception or Stealth Skill Checks.  You also gain a Flight speed of 60 feet for the duration. When the spell ends, the target falls if it is still aloft, unless it can stop the fall.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


I HAS A FLAVOR
1st Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
"OMG you taste like ice cream."

Anything tasting your skin/fur (i.e. perhaps by biting you), or smelling you if it has Scent, finds you addictive if it fails a Wisdom Save.  It will spend it's action each round licking you and doing nothing else until the spell ends.  If you attack it or cast another spell on it the spell ends, or until you or one of you companions does something harmful to it.  If you flee it may pursue. Hopefully you will have thought of something for when the spell runs out. 


I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
6th Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration, you can learn bad things your opponent has done by staring intently at him.  The first round you learn the nature of his most recent crime, or most embarrassing secret, i.e. something they wouldn't want their friends/family/the public to know if they fail a Wisdom Save (the subject gets a Wisdom Save each round you attempt to learn it's secret).  The second round you know the time and place it was committed.  The third round you know who else was there, and what they were doing.  The fourth round you pretty much have all the details you didn't already know.  After that you can learn more embarrassing secrets if you wish.


IT WAS THE DOG
4th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You create a 20-foot-radius sphere of invisible, nauseating gas centered on an opponent within range, who makes a loud farting noise. The cloud spreads around corners, and its area is heavily obscured. The cloud lingers in the air for the duration.

Each creature that is completely within the cloud at the start of its turn must make a Constitution saving throw against poison. On a failed save, the creature spends its action that turn retching and reeling. Creatures that don’t need to breathe or are immune to poison automatically succeed on this saving throw.

-A moderate wind (at least 10 miles per hour) disperses the cloud after 4 rounds. A strong wind (at least 20 miles per hour) disperses it after 1 round.  Observers must make a Wisdom Check against the spells Save DC or assume the subject the noise came from is responsible for the 'attack'.


LONGCAT
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components:  V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of this spell your reach increases +5 ft.  Cast as a 4th Level spell, your Reach increases +10 ft.  Cast as a 6th Level spell, your Reach increases +15 ft. 


NAPPY TIMES
9th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 8 hours
You know the mother of all Sleep spells.  Choose a point  within the spells range, and every creature within a 60 ft. radius of effect becomes Unconscious for the  duration of the spell, until the sleeper takes damage, or until someone takes an Action to wake them up.  Unlike Sleep, creatures immune to being Charmed are not immune to this effect.  Material component is a pinch of chamomile and kava kava herbs.


NOM NOM NOM
4th Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
If this spell is cast on you, all opponents who have a Bite attack as a Natural Weapon get a Critical Hit every time they roll an 18 or higher, and they gain Advantage on attack rolls with their Bite..  It may be removed by the same means as a Bestow Curse spell.
  At Higher Levels: If you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the duration is concentration, up to 10 minutes. If you use a spell slot of 6th level or higher, the duration is 8 hours. If you use a spell slot of 7th level or higher, the duration is 24 hours. If you use a 9th level spell slot, the spell lasts until it is dispelled. Using a spell slot of 5th level or higher grants a duration that doesn’t require concentration.


PEW PEW PEW
5th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
"lols"

You unleash 3 Rays of Force against one or more foes, each of which is a separate ranged spell attack roll.  On a hit the target takes 8d6 Force damage.


SERIOUS CAT
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma Saving Throws.  Additionally, any creature within 30 feet of you is subject to a Calm Emotions spell.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


SUMMON FELINE
3rd Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You summon feline creatures that appear in unoccupied spaces that you can see within range. Choose one of the following options for what appears:

    One feline creature of challenge rating 2 or lower
    Two feline creatures of challenge rating 1 or lower
    Four feline creatures of challenge rating 1/2 or lower
    Eight feline creatures of challenge rating 1/4 or lower

A summoned creature disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

The summoned creatures are friendly to you and your companions. Roll initiative for the summoned creatures as a group, which have their own turns. They obey any verbal commands that you issue to them (no action required by you). If you don't issue any commands to them, they defend themselves from hostile creatures, but otherwise take no actions.

The GM has the creatures' statistics. You can see some sample creatures below.

CR 0: Cat, Jana-Qitat, Marine Cat

CR 1/8: Dire Kitty, Little Spookity Kitty, Luck Eater, Lynx, Sand Cat, Serval

CR 1/4: Cat-Bee, Cogre, Giant Cat, Grimalkin, Panther, Spectral Panther

CR 1/2: Big Spookity Kittty, Change Cat, Cheetah

CR 1: Caterwaul (both versions), Cath Shee, Elven Cat, Giant Panther, Guardian Familiiar, Jana-Nimr, Lion, Tiger, Wemic

CR 2: Kamadan, Sabre-toothed Tiger, Snow Tiger, Swamplight Lynx

  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using certain higher-level spell slots, you choose one of the summoning options above, and more creatures appear: twice as many with a 6th-level slot and three times as many with an 8th-level slot.


SUMMON FELINE SWARM
4th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You call forth a swarm of magical cats. It manifests in an unoccupied space that you can see within range. This creature swarm uses the Cat Swarm stat block. The creature disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends.

The creature is an ally to you and your companions. In combat, the creature shares your initiative count, but it takes its turn immediately after yours. It obeys your verbal commands (no action required by you). If you don’t issue any, it takes the Dodge action and uses its move to avoid danger.

  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, use the higher level wherever the spell’s level appears in the stat block.

Cat Swarm  Medium swarm of Tiny Fey

Armor Class: 12 + the level of the spell (natural armor)

Hit Points: 30 + 10 for each spell level above 4th

Speed: 40 ft.

Str: 5
Dex: 15
Con: 14
Int: 11
Wis: 14
Cha: 16

Damage Resistances: Bludgeoning, Piercing, Slashing

Condition Immunities: Charmed, Frightened, Grappled, Paralyzed, Petrified, Prone, Restrained, Stunned

Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., Keen Smell (The cats have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell), passive perception 12.

Languages: Purr, understands the language you speak

Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus

Actions:

Bites. Melee Weapon Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 5 ft., one target in the swarms space. Hit: 2d6 + the spell’s level piercing damage + 1d6 force damage.


THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE
9th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Sight
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Make a successful ranged spell attack.  On a successful hit, the opponent takes 40d6 Force damage.


VELCRO CAT
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Grapple, Athletics and Acrobatics Checks.  You can Pin opponents as though you had the Grappler Feat, and your Strength Score improves by +2 for the duration of the spell.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


WAR KITTEH
9th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Target: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You assume the form of a War Cat for the Duration. The new form has a Challenge rating equal to your level.

Your game Statistics are replaced by the Statistics of the Cat, though you retain your Alignment and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores You also retain all of your skill and saving throw Proficiencies, in addition to gaining those of the Cat, If the Cat has the same Proficiency as you, and the bonus listed in its Statistics is higher than yours, use the Cat's bonus in place of yours.

You assume the Hit Points and Hit Dice of the new form. When you revert to your normal form, you return to the number of Hit Points you had before you transformed. If you revert as a result of dropping to 0 Hit Points, any excess damage carries over to your normal form. As long as the excess damage doesn't reduce your normal form to 0 Hit Points, you aren't knocked Unconscious.

You retain the benefit of any features from your class, race, or other source and can use them, provided that your new form is physically capable of doing so. You can't use any Special Senses you have (for example, darkvision) unless your new form also has that sense. You can only speak if the creature can normally speak.

When you transform, you choose whether your Equipment falls to the ground, merges into the new form, or is worn by it. Worn Equipment functions as normal. The DM determines whether it is practical for the new form to wear a piece of Equipment, based on the creature's shape and size. Your Equipment doesn't change shape or size to match the new form, and any Equipment that the new form can't wear must either fall to the ground or merge into your new form. Equipment that merges has no Effect in that state.










YOU HAS A FLAVOR TOO
1st Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Your victim becomes particularly tasty for the duration of the spell.  Should anything bite him they must make a Wisdom Save, or decide to concentrate exclusively on him in combat as they simply must eat him.  They will ignore other targets (but can still flee if doing so would put them in danger of death or capture).  They also gain a +1 Morale Bonus on attack and damage rolls against him.  Material component is a bit of tasty food.


YOU MAKE KITTY SCARED
6th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This spell must be cast while you are being attacked/threatened/being targeted by a spell from an opponent.  Up to 12 beings in the area of effect must make a Wisdom Save or be enraged at your opponent for scaring the poor defenseless Kitty. They will do whatever is necessary to protect you from him, including attacking, even if the opponent is obviously out of their league.  They will continue to attack even if you flee the area to "buy you time".  Once they are at half or hit points or less they get another save to break out of the spell.

[bhu]

A HERD OF WILDEBEESTS THUNDERS ACROSS THE PLAINS OF THE SERENGETI
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
Any sound your target makes is amplified so loudly that it can be heard for miles.  If he fails a Charisma Saving Throw, he fails all Dexterity (Stealth) Checks for the Duration of the spell.  Best cast in dungeons that have lots of wandering monsters attracted by sound.  Listen rolls made within 30 ft. of the target have Disadvantage on all Wisdom (Perception Checks) to hear anything but him.  Anyone adjacent to the target is Deafened until they move away.

BUG BOMB
4th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
You unleash a cloud of toxic white gas, causing everything in a 30 ft. radius centered on a point in range to make a Constitution Save.  When a creature moves into the spell’s area for the first time on a turn or starts its turn there, that creature must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 4d10 Poison damage and be Poisoned for 1 Minute.


CATACLYSM
9th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 10 Minutes
Range: 1 Mile
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 Week
Cataclysm takes 10 minutes to cast, and another 10 minutes to take effect.  Weather within 8 miles of you changes to a preset condition.  For the duration of the spell the precipitation is stage 4, temperature is stage 4, and winds are stage 2 (see Control Weather spell).  Ostensibly this has no immediate effect, but very soon it causes massive flooding.  You can dismiss this spell at anytime before the duration ends.


CATALEPSY
6th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 ft.
Components: V, S, M (iron rod)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Choose a creature that you can see within range. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be paralyzed for the duration. This spell has no effect on undead. The victim goes rigid and cannot move, and can be posed to hold any position.


CATAMOUNT
7th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 10 Minutes
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
This is identical to Find Greater Steed, except it summons a pair of Swamplight Lynxes to serve as mounts/pack animals.


CATAPLEXY
5th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
The victim becomes extremely weak and his speech and vision are impaired. Choose a creature that you can see within range. The target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be Stunned for the duration, and fall Prone. This spell has no effect on undead. At the end of each of its turns, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. On a success, the spell ends on the target.


CATAPULT
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Your target is flung 60 feet into the air if he fails a Dexterity Save, and takes subsequent falling damage when it comes back down, ending it's turn prone.  If it encounters an object on the way up it takes an additional 1d6 damage.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the target travels an additional +10 feet for each slot level above 4th.


CATARACT
4th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 Minute
Your target suddenly goes blind while being hit with several hundred pounds of water that falls from the sky.  Choose one creature that you can see within range to make a Constitution saving throw. If it fails, the target is either blinded for the duration. At the end of each of its turns, the target can make a Constitution saving throw. On a success, the spell ends.  It also takes 6d6 bludgeoning damage from the water the first round of the spell, and has to make a Strength Saving Throw or be knocked prone.  Any fires in the square, or adjacent squares, are extinguished.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the bludgeoning damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 4th.


CAT BURGLARING
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Upon casting this spell you gain Advantage with Investigation, and Sleight of Hand Checks.  You also gain Advantage with Dexterity Checks meant to pick locks or disable traps, and gain Uncanny Dodge and Evasion (these are identical to the Rogue Abilities of the same name).  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


CATCALL
5th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute.
As you jeer your primary target, any creature within 20 feet of it must make a Wisdom Save, or their attitude towards it turns Hostile for the duration of the spell.  Given a choice of targets in a fight, they will attack it, unless they are forced to defend themselves from attack by another.  If the primary target  fails his Save, he doesn't attack himself, but does have Disadvantage on Charisma (Deception or Persuasion) Checks.


CATFIGHT
5th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Choose two creatures within the spells range, who are no more than 30 feet apart, to make a Wisdom saving throw.  If either fail, they perceive the other as a mortal enemy, and will attack them to the exclusion of all else.


CATNAP
1st Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round
Choose one target within the spells range to make a Wisdom Save, or be knocked unconscious for 1 round.  Undead and creatures immune to being charmed aren't affected by this spell.


CAT SCRATCH FEVAH
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This spell is only good if you have claws.  For the duration of the spell, if you successfully damage a creature with your claws it must make a Constitution Save or be Poisoned for the duration of the spell.  The target gets another Saving Throw each round to end this effect.


CATSPLOSION
9th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Sight
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
You choose any empty square you can see.  A portal opens, violently spewing forth torrents of cats, effecting a radius of 360 feet.  All empty squares in this area now contain 4 Cats.  Other creatures within this area are required to make a Dexterity Save, or take 40d6 Slashing damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.  Targets who fail the Save are also knocked Prone.  The cats remain when the portal closes, and are not under the casters control.


CATSUIT
2nd Level Illusion
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components:
Duration: V, S, M
You change the way the target appears to spells and magical effects that detect creature types, such as a paladin's Divine Sense or the trigger of a symbol spell. The target looks like an appropriately sized cat to all observers.   Spells and magical effects treat the target as if it were a creature of that type.  The target cannot even explain what is happening, as the illusion covers his speech as well.


CATWALK
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
For the duration of the spell, you gain Advantage on Strength (Athletics), and Dexterity (Acrobatics and Stealth)  Checks.


FLEA AND TICK SPRAY
4th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Your hand spews forth a mass of poisonous, white fog in a 60 foot cone.  Each creature in that area must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 10d4 poison damage and another 5d4 poison damage at the end of its next turn. On a successful save, a creature takes half the initial damage and no damage at the end of its next turn.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, the initial damage increases by 2d4 for each slot level above 4th.


FOOF NINJA
6th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, the recipient gains a +2 to AC, and Advantage on all Attack rolls, Ability Checks and Saving Throws against opponents who are bigger than yourself.


JAGGED TOOTH
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
Choose one creature within the spells range that has natural weapons.  Attacks with those weapons score a Critical on a 19 or 20.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 3rd.

POWER NAP
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
You cast this spell as you are laying down to sleep.  You receive a long rests benefits in 1 minute.  You do not, however, recover spells cast or recover abilities.  You heal damage, and recover from attack actions such as a Vampires bite or a Shadows strength drain.

PUSSYWILLOW
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
When casting this spell you gain Advantage with Constitution Saving Throws, and Dexterity (Stealth) and Wisdom (Medicine) Checks.  Your Type changes to Plant temporarily as well.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


SLICE AND DICE
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
Choose one creature within the spells range that has natural weapons.  Attacks with those weapons do an additional die of damage for the duration of the spell.  For example, if the target has a claw doing 1d6, it now does 2d6.  If it does 2d4, it now does 3d4.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 6th.


WALK WITH PURPOSE KITTY
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, your movement speed cannot be lowered by difficult terrain, and you cannot gain Disadvantage with Dexterity (Acrobatics, Stealth) or Strength (Athletics) Checks.

[bhu]

ASSASSIN'S STRIKE
1st Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minutes
Your Sneak Attack Dice increase by 1 for the duration of the spell.  This does not provide Sneak Attack Dice if you do not already have them.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd or 4th level, you can maintain your concentration on the spell for up to 8 hours. When you use a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can maintain your concentration on the spell for up to 24 hours.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster

BALEFUL TRANSPOSITION
2nd Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose one creature within 30 feet.  It must make a Wisdom Save, or the two of you switch places, and he is Incapacitated for 1 round.  This movement does not provoke opportunity attacks.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

DISTRACTION
1st Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
One target within the spells range must make a Willpower Save or be at Disadvantage on Wisdom Checks and Saves for the duration of the spell.  The target also loses the use of Reactions for the duration.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Sorcerer, Warlock

DODGE
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: 1 Round
Your movement this round provokes no Opportunity Attacks.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid, Eldritch Knight, Ranger

EMBRACE THE WILD
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell you gain advantage on Perception Checks.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid, Ranger

ENDURE EXPOSURE
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 8 Hours
You gain advantage on Constitution Checks against extreme cold or heat, frigid water, etc (see page 110 dmg).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid, Ranger

ENTICE GIFT
2nd Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 Round
Choose 1 creature within the spells range.  If that creature fails a Wisdom Save, it immediately approaches you and gives you wjatever it is holding in it's hand as it's next Action.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

FELL THE GREATEST FOE
1st Level Transmutatuin
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, your weapon attacks do +2d6 damage if your opponent's Size Category is larger than you (i.e. if you're Medium, any creature that is Large or larger).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Eldritch Knight, Cleric, Paladin

GREATER DARKVISION
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 8 Hours
This is identical to the Darkvision spell, but you can also see in magical Darkness, such as a Darkness spell.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Druid, Ranger, Wizard

HAWKEYE
1st Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell you are no longer at disadvantage when attacking with a ranged weapon at long range.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Ranger

LION'S CHARGE
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V
Duration: 1 Round
You must move at least 20 feet straight toward a creature and then hit it with a weapon attack on the same turn as part of this spell, and that target must succeed on a  Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. If the target is prone, you can make one additional weapon attack against it as a bonus action.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid, Ranger

LORECALL
1st Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 Round
For the duration of the spell, you gain Proficiency with one Skill you don't have Proficiency in.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Ranger

MARTYR'S SMITE
2nd Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell your opponents gain Advantage on Combat against you, and you get Advantage in Combat against them.  Your weapons attack does maximum damage if your attack roll is successful (this includes both weapon damage and dice from other sources).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Paladin

MISDIRECTION
3rd Level Illusion
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
Choose one living target within 30 feet (this can include plants or fungi).  For the duration of the spell, and Divination spells cast on you give the information of the target instead (and vice versa).  For example, a human Wizard casts this on a Skeleton.  Detect Evil and Good is cast on the Skeleton, but it does not register as Undead, while the Wizard would. 
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

MOBILITY
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Your Movement is unaffected by difficult terrain.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid. Eldritch Knight, Ranger

MOMENT OF FEAR
1st Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 Round
One target within range of the spell must make a Wisdom Save or all attacks on him have Advantage until the beginning of your next turn.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd Level, it's duration changes to Concentration, up to 1 Minute.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Warlock

NATURE'S FAVOR
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, one Beast you choose can use your proficiency bonus on attacks instead of it's own.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid, Ranger

PERSONAL MARK
1st Level Transmutation (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 24 Hours
You leave a mark that is only visible to certain other beings.  It can be a message of up to 6 letters.  You may choose from one of the following options:

1: Only beings who have the same class you do (Wizard for example).
2: Only creatures of a certain Type.
3: Only members of a specific Guild, group or organization.
4: Only beings you have known personally for more than a week.
5: You can make it a Scent Mark, and it can only be detected by beings with Keen Scent.

Regardless of what option you take, certain spells or effects such as See Invisibility Truesight reveal the mark.  They do not, however, reveal the message.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Any

SCRY AREA
1st Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 20 foot radius, centered on you
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You gain advantage on Investigation checks for the duration of the spell.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Wizard

SCRY PORTAL
2nd Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 120 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
You automatically know if there are any hidden doors, false bottoms in drawers, hidden compartments etc within the spells range.  You do not know their exact location, but you do gain a sense for how dangerous opening one may be.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Wizard

STEALTH
Illusion cantrip
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: S
Duration: 1 Hour
For the duration of the spell, one opening of your choice makes absolutely no sound if it is opened or closed.  This can be a door, window, gate, drawer, chest lid, and so on.  Damage to the object still makes noise, however.  Optionally this can be cast before attempting an attack or using an object, and no sound is made for that Action.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Bard

SUBVERT ITEM
2nd Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You attune yourself to one item by casting this spell.  Until the spell end you always know the location and condition of this item.   Detect Magic will reveal an aura around this item for the spells duration, as will Truesight.  The caster can make a DC Perception Check to overhear anything said within 10 feet of the item for the spells direction.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd or 4th level, you can maintain your concentration on the spell for up to 8 hours. When you use a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can maintain your concentration on the spell for up to 24 hours.
Appropriate Spell Lists:Arcane Trickster, Warlock, Wizard

TOUCH OF FATIGUE
2nd Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You touch a creature, and the target of your spell must make a Constitution Saving Throw or receive 1 Level of Exhaustion.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd or 4th level, you can maintain your concentration on the spell for up to 8 hours. When you use a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can maintain your concentration on the spell for up to 24 hours.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

TOUCH OF IDIOCY
3rd Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1  Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
One creature you touch must make an Intelligence saving throw.  If it fails it gains disadvantage with all Attack rolls, saving throws and skill checks based on Intelligence or Charisma.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

[bhu]

BITE OF THE WERETIGER
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
This is identical to the Shapechange spell, with the exception that you may only become a Tiger.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid

BREAK ENCHANTMENT
3rd Level Abjuration (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Minute
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose any one creature within range under the effect that allows a Saving Throw at the end of each round (Hold Person for example), or that allow for a new Save under certain circumstances (such as Dominate Beast.  The next Saving Throw the target creature is allowed to make against the spell currently influencing, that Save is automatically successful and the spell ends.  If the creature is under the effect of multiple spells, the lowest level spell goes first.  If there is a tie choose a random spell.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard

CHARM MONSTER
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: 8 Hours
This is identical to Charm Person, but it is not restricted by creature type.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 5th level or higher, you can target one additional creature for each slot level above 1st. The creatures must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

CLAWS OF DARKNESS
2nd Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of this spell your unarmed strikes do 1d8 Necrotic damage, and you are proficient with your unarmed strikes.  As a Bonus Action you can extend the claws, allowing you to make reach attacks with your unarmed strikes.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

DEMAND
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Unlimited
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 8 Hours
This is otherwise identical to the Sending spell, except that it may contain a Suggestion (see the Suggestion spell for details).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

DISPLACER FORM
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell you gain the form of a Displacer Beast (this otherwise works like the Shapechange spell).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Sorcerer, Wizard

EVIL GLARE
7th Level Necromancy
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the spell’s duration, your eyes become an inky void imbued with dread power. One creature of your choice within 60 feet of you that you can see must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be Paralyzed for the duration. On each of your turns until the spell ends, you can use your action to target another creature but can’t target a creature again if it has succeeded on a saving throw against this casting of Evil Glare.  At the end of each of its turns, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. On a success, the spell ends on the target.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

FIERCE PRIDE OF THE BEASTLANDS
8th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Minute
Range: 90 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You summon three Celestial Lions that appear in unoccupied spaces that you can see within range.  A summoned creature disappears when it drops to 0 hit points or when the spell ends. The summoned creatures are friendly to you and your companions. Roll initiative for the summoned creatures as a group, which has its own turns. They obey any verbal commands that you issue to them (no action required by you). If you don’t issue any commands to them, they defend themselves from hostile creatures, but otherwise take no actions. The GM has the creatures’ statistics (which are listed below).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard

HIDE THE PATH
6th Level Abjuration
Casting Time: 1 Minute
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 8 Hours
You create a ward against divination that protects up to 40,000 square feet of floor space to a height of 30 feet above the floor. For the duration, creatures casting a Divination spell within this spells area (or attempting to use one to perceive something within this area) must make a DC 16 ability check using their spellcasting ability, or the spell fails.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Cleric, Druid

KNOW VULNERABILITIES
4th Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose one creature within range.  It must make an Intelligence Saving Throw or you know any Resistances or Immunities it has.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Bard, Cleric

NIGHTSTALKERS TRANSFORMATION
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell you gain the following: Proficiency on Dexterity Saves, Proficiency on all Skill Checks based off of Dexterity or Wisdom, and Proficiency with the following weapons: Simple weapons, hand crossbows,  longswords, rapiers, shortswords.  You also gain 3 Sneak Attack dice and Evasion (see the Rogue in the PHB).
Appropriate Spell Lists: Sorcerer, Wizard

SHADOW CACHE
2nd Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
For the duration of this spell you may hide small, non living objects in a shadowy pocket dimension accessible only to you.  You can place as many objects as you want, but the maximum size of the pocket is a 1 foot cube, and hiding or retrieving an item is an Action.  Once the spell ends, all items are placed on the ground in the square you occupy.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Arcane Trickster, Wizard

SHOUT
4th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self (30 ft. Cone)
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
You unleash an ear-splitting scream, and any creatures within range must make a Constitution Save.  A failed save means taking 5d8 thunder damage, while a successful one takes half damage.  A creature made of inorganic material such as stone, crystal or metal has disadvantage on this saving throw. 
  At Higher Levels: If cast as a 5th Level of higher spell, it does an additional d8 damage per slot level above 4th.  At 6th Level or higher, creatures who fail the saving throw are also deafened.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard

TREMORSENSE
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
For the duration of the spell you gain Tremorsense with a range of 30 feet.
Appropriate Spell Lists: Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer

[bhu]

Debi's Doofus Maker
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Any living creature of your choice that gets within 20 feet of you must make an Intelligence Save, or take Disadvantage on all Intelligence based rolls, including skill checks, saving throws, and attack rolls.


Doctor Kethrian's All Purpose Solution
6th Level Evocation (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 round
Range: 300 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You create a swarm of energy that looks like little flaming little debbil kitties that hunt down your foes.  Upon completion of the spell you summon 5 flaming debbil kitties.  Each round the caster may direct one of the Debbil Kitties at a target as a Bonus Action (debbil kitties not used before the spells duration expires disappear harmlessly).  Once directed at a target the debbil kitty flies towards it unerringly and explodes doing 5d6 fire damage in a 10 foot area.  If cast at night, or within areas of strong evil (such as the Area of Effect of a Desecrate or Evil Weather Spell) it does necrotic damage instead.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, you summon one additional debbil kitty.


Curse a la Chemus
2nd Level Transmutationt
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Your curse renders your target vulnerable to catnip.  If the target fails a Wisdom Save it experiences a surge of unexplained euphoria whenever it touches or ingests catnip, suffering a Disadvantage on attack rolls, saving throws, and skill checks for as long as he maintains contact (which he will not willingly break) with the evil weed, plus 1d6 rounds after (if he ingests it it lasts for 1d6 hours).  Your victim will have to make a Wisdom Save (same DC) to not roll about in catnip and suffer these ill effects if he finds some.  This can be removed by Wish, Miracle, Remove Curse or any other spell that would remove Bestow Curse.


Draco's Night Time Shenanigans
3rd Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 ft.
Components: V, S, M (large nut)
Duration: 1 Minute
Your curse causes effects similar to what cat 'owners' refer to as 'crazy hour', with a dash of schizophrenia thrown in.  In most ways this works like the Confusion Spell if your victim fails his Save, with the exception of it only affecting a single target and some differing effects:

1: Attack caster with melee or ranged weapons (or move towards caster if ranged attack is not possible), with Disadvantage to the roll for not bothering to aim properly.

2: The creature can act and move normally.

3-5:  Stare fixedly into the nothingness, daring it to stare back (i.e. the target does nothing).

6-7: Attack nearest creature (for this purpose, a familiar counts as part of the subject's self), with a -2 Penalty to the roll for not bothering to aim properly.

8-10: Attack nearest creature, with Disadvantage to the roll for not bothering to aim properly.

At the end of each of its turns, an affected target can make a Wisdom saving throw. If it succeeds, this effect ends for that target.


Unca Maat's Fond Embrace
3rd Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
Your spell causes your opponent to ignore everything in order to spend time cuddling you.  The creature you touch must make a Wisdom Saving Throw or spend it's rounds cuddling you, during which time other creatures have Advantage on their attack rolls against it.  If it is attacked or has another spell cast on it that isn't beneficial, the spell ends immediately. At the end of each of its turns, an affected target can make a Wisdom saving throw. If it succeeds, this effect ends for that target.


Ejo's Extemporaneous Enhancement
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (small cat statuette)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, the creature you touch gains one extra use of any class ability that has a limited number of uses.  If it has no such class ability, it increases the Save DC of any one attack, spell or ability by +2 for the spells duration.  If the target also has nothing that requires a saving throw, it gains Advantage on any one Saving Throw for the spells duration.


Norr's Nifty Rebuke
2nd Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You touch a target and scritch behind it's ears or under it's chin (aka you make a melee touch attack) while muttering cutesy witticisms like "Whose Mama's widdle baby?" or "Whose got a furry little mustache?".  If it fails it's Save, one of two things generally happen.  Roll a die.  On an even result it's will is crushed by the combined shame felt by pets everywhere after being exposed to their 'owners' affections, and it has Disadvantage on attack rolls, saving throws, and ability checks.  On an odd result it flips out and screams gibberish ("THERE IS NO FURRY LITTLE MUSTACHE, THERE IS ONLY ZUUL!") and attacks everyone within reach other than the caster.  It has Advantage on attack rolls, and will not stop until the spell stops, or everyone but the caster is dead.


Veekie's Sage Advice
5th Level Divination (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Round
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (incense, 50 GP)
Duration: 1 Minute
This is identical to the Divination spell, but you can ask a number of questions equal to your casting ability modifier.  For example, if you have a 17 Wisdom, you can ask three questions.  you also don't suffer the 25% failure chance for asking more than one question per long rest.


Lix Lorn's Patented Cat Scan
4th Level Divination (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (small wooden cat)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Choose any target within 30 feet, which must make a Wisdom Saving Throw.  Each round of the spell you can learn one of the following bits of information: What conditions it currently has, whether or not there are any spells currently affecting it, whether or not it has hit point damage, it's alignment, or which one of it's Saving Throws is the lowest (more than one if several are tied for last place).


Sir Shadow's Sneaky Serf of Sneakinesses
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 100 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
This spell turns your Familiar into an exotic, somewhat unidentifiable Humanoid (well it looks Humanoid any way, it's Type doesn't change).  This Humanoid acts as your servant, lackey, and if truly unlucky your meat shield as well.  It's changes are as follows:

Size increases to Small.

It gains Temporary Hit Points equal to your Casting Ability Modifier plus your Proficiency Bonus.

Armor Class becomes 10 plus your Proficiency Bonus, unless it is already higher.

Land speed increases to 30 feet.

Strength and Intelligence scores increase by +4.

Th Familiar becomes Humanoid in form, and can use any armor, tools or weapons you are proficient with.  It keeps all other movement speeds and abilities of the base creature.


You're Not Fat, You're Fluffy
6th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (a it of fur)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Your target gains Disadvantage on Dexterity checks and saving throws.  It also loses it's Dexterity modifier on Armor Class and Initiative rolls.  If it is wearing armor, it also gains Disadvantage on Strength checks and saving throws.


Force Beam
9th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Sight
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
One creature you can see must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 40d6 Force damage on a failed save, and half damage on a successful one.


BOOM!
9th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 1 Mile
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Force bombs plummet to the ground at four different points you can see within range. Each creature in a 40-foot-radius sphere centered on each point you choose must make a Dexterity saving throw. The sphere spreads around corners. A creature takes 30d6 force damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A creature in the area of more than one force bomb iis affected only once.


Machinegun
5th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self (60 foot Cone)
Components: V, S, M (a lead ball)
Duration: Instantaneous
When cast, Machinegun floods the area of effect with a spray of 'bullets'.  Each creature in a 60-foot cone must make a Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 8d8 Force damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, the damage increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 5th.

[bhu]

Delay In-fur-mities
6th Level Abjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (a sprig of mint)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
The recipient of the spell temporarily becomes immune to the following for the spells duration:  Any sort of Petrification, Polymorph or shapeshifting effect may be suppressed for the duration of the spell as a Reaction by the recipient.  This also includes Lycanthropy.  Your movement cannot be impeded (effects are similar to the Freedom of Movement spell).


Furbearer
7th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, any creature approaching within 30 ft. of the target must make a Wisdom save or become convinced that the target is a mutant example of a species commonly hunted for their fur, and their pelt is horribly valuable.  All protestations aside, those failing the Saving Throw will not stop until they have removed the targets non-existent fur. Usually the spell expires before the target can be given a full body shave.


Furbish
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (a bit of fur from an animal considered to be valuable)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
Your spell polishes metal weapons and armor of the target until they are all sparkly like chrome.  For the duration of the spell, if the holder/wearer of the item is struck by a spell or Action using bright light or doing Radiant damage, the opponent casting the spell/effect must make a Willpower Save or be Blinded 1d4 rounds.


Furby
2nd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
You give life to a creepy, clockwork children's toy that can talk and move.  In most ways this is exactly like a more powerful version of the Beget Bobun spell, but it creates a Furby.  The material component is the clockwork that becomes a Furby.  See below for Furby stats.




Furcate
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (small tuning fork)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
You divide an opponent into two or more smaller, weaker targets if it fails it's Save.  The victim is split into a number of small duplicates depending on your caster Level: 1-6 (splits in two), 7-10 (splits in three), 11+ (splits in four).  The size of the duplicates are 1 Size Category smaller if there are two or three duplicates, 2 Size Categories smaller if there are 4 duplicates.  Hit Dice are split as evenly as possible among them, for example a 5th Level Barbarian would become two 2nd Level Barbarians and one 1st Level Barbarian.  Hit points, saves, skills, BAB, etc are recalculated.  Ability Scores of each duplicate are dropped by 2 for each duplicate (i.e. for two duplicates, all their stats are -2.  For three duplicates their stats are -4.  In addition the victim is Stunned for 1 round as he splits apart.


Furlough
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, M (slip of pink paper)
Duration: Concentration, up to 8 hours
If your target fails his save, he fires or suspends an employee of your choice from their job, and refuses to rehire or compensate them in any way until the spell is done.  Often used to get rid of troublesome officials that stand in the Guilds way.


Furment
1st Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S, M (a bit of yeast)
Duration: Instantaneous
All nonmagical liquid within a 5-foot-radius sphere centered on a point of your choice within range is converted to alcohol.  Good for bribing guards.


Furn
1st Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (a seed)
Duration: 1 Hour
One square within range becomes filled with tall grass or bushes, heavily obscuring anything else present.  Usually used for hiding in natural areas.


Furnace
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
The next creature you grapple takes 3d6 Fire damage.  It takes another 3d6 damage each round you maintain the grapple, for the spells duration.


Furnish
6th Level Illusion
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Target: See Text
Components: V, S, M (a silver piece)
Duration: Special
  At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 7th level or higher, the cube increases by 5 feet for each slot level above 6th
Your spell reads the mind of your victim before crafting an item they want or need for you.  You cast this spell before engaging a target in conversation, and the spell tells you what item your opponent wants if he fails a Wisdom Save.  Typically this is used when the caster has nothing, but needs something to bargain with, and needs it to be what his target wants.  The spell then crafts said item as per the Creation spell, which takes about 1 Minute, and the item lasts as long as it would for the aforementioned spell.


Further
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Choose any one class ability (Rage, Bardic Inspiration, etc.) that has a duration, or spell in effect on the creature touched.  That ability or effect has it's duration doubled.  This does not need to be used on an effect that is beneficial to the target.


Furtive
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (black kerchief)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
When casting the spell, you gain Advantage on Wisdom Saving Throws, and Dexterity (Stealth) and Charisma (Deception) Checks.  For the duration of the spell you can use your bonus action on your turn to feint, choosing one creature within 5 feet of you as your target. You have advantage on your next attack roll against that creature this turn. If that attack hits, add your casting ability modifier to the damage.  Until the spell ends you can't cast other spells.


Furvor
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 90 ft.
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Creatures of your choice that you can see within range and that can hear you add your spellcasting ability modifier to their Initiative rolls, as do you.


Purrblind
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range:  150 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
You blast the mind of a creature that you can see within range, attempting to shatter its intellect and awareness. The target takes 4d6 psychic damage and must make an Intelligence saving throw.

On a failed save, the creature’s Intelligence and Wisdom scores become 1. The creature can’t cast spells, activate magic items, understand language, or communicate in any intelligible way. The creature can, however, identify its friends, follow them, and even protect them.

At the end of every 30 days, the creature can repeat its saving throw against this spell. If it succeeds on its saving throw, the spell ends. The spell can also be ended by Greater Restoration, Heal, or Wish.


Purrceive
7th Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (cat's eye gem)
Duration: 1 Hour
This spell gives the willing creature you touch the ability to see things as they actually are. For the duration, the creature has truesight, notices secret doors hidden by magic, and can see into the Ethereal Plane, all out to a range of 120 feet.  You also know the exact location and type of any coins, gems, or weapons in the field of vision.  Additionally you can name 1 specific item, and if it is present you know it's location as well.


Purrcussion
7th Level Evocation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self (50 foot radius)
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Letting you play the drums is like unleashing a force of nature.  To maintain this spell you must continue playing the drums, but so long as you play any creatures of your choice within range must make a Constitution Save.  Failing the Save means they are Restrained, Prone, and are Deafened for the duration of this spell plus one round after.   If the Save succeeds, then each square they move towards you counts as two squares, effectively halving their movement.


Purrfidy
5th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 ft.
Components: V, M (silver piece)
Duration: 30 days (but see below)
You place a magical command on a creature that you can see within range, forcing it to carry out some act of betrayal.  This betrayal can be as simple as name calling, a lie at the right place and time, or even murder.  If the creature can understand you, it must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or become charmed by you for the duration. While the creature is charmed by you, it takes 5d10 psychic damage each time it acts in a manner directly counter to your instructions, but no more than once each day. A creature that can’t understand you is unaffected by the spell.  You can end the spell early by using an action to dismiss it. A Remove Curse, Greater Restoration, or Wish spell also ends it.  Committing the act of betrayal also ends it.


Purrforate
9th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Sight
Components: V, S, M (holy symbol)
Duration: Instantaneous
Ceiling Cat reaches down from the sky and spears your opponent with his claw.  The target takes 10d6 Force damage, and any items it is holding or wearing that increase it's Armor Class or Saving Throws are disintegrated.  Any spell effect on the target increasing it's Armor Class or Saving Throws ends.


Purrformance
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
After you cast this spell, any time you give someone a Bardic Inspiration Die, they have an Hour to use it instead of 10 Minutes.


Purrfume
2nd Level Transmmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (flower)
Duration: 1 Hour
You may temporarily alter someone's scent.  You can make them smell like a different species, or even a specific member of said species.  While this may seem useless it is not.  It can easily fool creatures who track by scent, or beings who have a Blindsight ability that has a scent component (we're looking at you Grimlocks).  Plus, what horse will pull a cart when the driver smells like wolf pee?  You can also make their scent strong or overpowering, thus giving anyone Advantage on Wisdom (Perception) based checks against them.  Creatures with Keen Smell can automatically know the targets location as long as they are within 60 feet.

Purrgative
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (skunk gland)
Duration: Instantaneous
You may use this spell to turn any liquid into a substance that makes it's drinker pray for death.  Anyone partaking of this liquid takes 4d6 Necrotic damage. The target must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, it becomes Incapacitated until the end of its next turn.. 


Purrgatory
6th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Minute
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 30 days
This is identical to Geas, with one exception.  Whenever the target takes psychic damage from the spell, it also gains one level of exhaustion that can only be removed magically.


Purrge
9th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 150 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 hour
You convince the peasants it's time to BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN!  Choose any 10 creatures within range, and force them  to make a Wisdom Save..  Anyone failing the save loses his mind and begins destroying or setting fire to whatever is around him, and will fight to the death anyone attempting to stop him.  Effectively they also gain the benefits of the Barbarian Rage ability (1st Level benefits only).  Oddly they don't attack other people unless they are attacked themselves, someone tries to stop them, or they run out of things to bust up before the duration of the spell ends.


Purrger
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 30 days
The next time your target is asked a question they must make a Wisdom Saving Throw, or tell an obvious and egregious lie.  The spell ends once a lie is told, or the duration expires.


Purrky
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 150 feet
Components: V, S, M (Smiley face button)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
If they fail a Wisdom Save, the target of this spell become unbearably happy, and also very, very annoying.  They gain immunity to being Frightened and Charmed, but anyone not similarly affected by this spell is distracted by them, and take Disadvantage on all Attack rolls and Skill Checks if they fail a Wisdom Save.  This lasts for the duration of the spell, the murder of the original target, or being removed from sight/hearing range of them.  Mostly because the obnoxiously happy goobers next to them won't shut up about the GODDAMN TREES AND THE FLOWERS AND THE LITTLE CHIRPING BIRDS, OMG THE BIRDS...  The spell protects the caster from this, so he doesn't need to worry about wanting to kill himself because his companions are enraptured by how enormously blue today's sky is.


Purrport
3rd Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, M (drop of invisible ink)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
Your spell allows you to convince someone that a written document or previous conversation with them meant something other than what it did.  Unfortunately it doesn't render him stupid, so the minute the spell wears off he goes right back to remembering you're full of crap.  So get what you want, and run like a squirrel in Church.


Purrse
5th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You temporarily turn an ordinary purse, bag or sack into a Bag of Holding for the duration of this spell.  The bag can hold a maximum of 250 pounds, as long as the objects are less than 32 cubic feet.  When the spell ends all objects that cant normally fit inside appear on the ground next to it's holder.


Purrsecute
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 10 Days
Your spell singles a victim out for persecution by the local populace.  If he fails a Wisdom Save, anyone seeing him must Save as well or assume he is an outlaw wanted by the nearest government or other authority figure, and act accordingly.  Or maybe they suddenly believe all the vile stereotypes available to persons of your appearance.  Maybe they just think you're a Mindflayer cultist.  It's not an ideal spell to have placed on you in an open democracy, and can be downright deadly in a dictatorship ran by a paranoid madman.  For the spells duration the target has Disadvantage on all Charisma related Ability Checks against anyone else who fails the Wisdom Save from the spell.


Purrser
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
You spell causes others to perceive you (or whomever you place it on) as a naval Purser for the duration of the spell if they fail a Wisdom Save.  A Purser handles the money and supplies aboard merchant vessels, and is a Warrant Officer as well on military ships.  Just make sure you're off the ship before the spell ends.  Often used to pose as officers to purchase supplies on a line of credit used by legitimate businesses, or to wreak havoc with rich merchants or military vessels (or get supplies for poorer ones).


Purrsevere
9th Level Abjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
For the duration of the spell you automatically succeed on all Saving Throws.


Purrsue
9th Level Divination
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
This is generally identical to Legend Lore except as noted above, and as follows: Only A Wish or Mind Blank negates this spell, or direct intervention by a deity.


Purrsuivant
6th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
Your spell makes others perceive you (or another creature you designate) as an Officer of Arms if they fail a Save, and gives you (or the designated creature) Advantage on Intelligence (History) Checks, or any Intelligence or Charisma Checks made regarding royalty or the nobility.  Not quite as useful as Purrser, but it does allow for lots of shenanigans with royalty and public spectacle.


Purrvey
3rd Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Round
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (an ad for a product)
Duration: 1 Hour
You can magically summon needed supplies.  For the duration of spell you can create any one non-magical item costing no more than 10 GP per caster Level.  This includes expendable items such as ammo, and tools sets such as Mason tools.  Material component is any advertisement.


Purrveyance
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (wax seal)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
Your spell causes anyone who sees you to believe you (or a creature you designate) have the Kings (or other nobles) authority to requisition goods and services for his use if they fail a Wisdom Save.  Fairly similar to Purser, but allows you to steal from royalty instead of merchants.


Purrview
8th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (law enforcement badge)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
This spell causes anyone who sees you to perceive you (or another creature you designate) as whatever vague authority figure you have announced yourself to be (whatever the local law enforcement is).  They'll follow your orders within reason, but to carry out the ruse it helps a lot to know about local laws and enforcement.  For example, if the local towns rules are enforced by the Sheriff and his Deputies, you can claim to be a Deputy, as long as you act like one.  Otherwise your victim gets a chance to make another Save to break your spells effect.


Repurrpose
4th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30  feet
Components: V, S, M (miniature blacksmith's hammer)
Duration: 1 Hour
You can temporarily turn any unattended object into another object.  For the duration of the spell you can turn any unattended, non-magical object of 50 lbs. or less into any other non-magical object of the same weight or less.  For example you could turn a 30 pound barrel into a statue of any kind of substance (as long as it also weighed 30 pounds or less), or a bedroll, or even a gold coin.  The shenanigans practically write themselves.  You cannot use this to create poisons or alchemical substances.  Focus is a miniature blacksmith's hammer.


Schrodinger's Box
9th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (cube of rare metals worth 50 GP)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour1 Hour
A box of pure Force (cube really) appears next to the target creature.  This is identical in all ways to the Forcecage spell with a few exceptions.  The biggest is that the box is always appropriately sized for the creature you choose to target with the spell, and it always moves so as to remain adjacent to him.  Each turn the target must make a Charisma Save or be drawn into the cube of force.  If the Save is successful he remains outside the cube, but must still make subsequent saves on following rounds.  While inside the cube of force he must also make a Save each round or be teleported back outside into an adjacent square (the cube remains immobile while the target is inside).  If he is teleported back outside, and there is no viable empty space to go to, he must make a Charisma Save or take 5d6 Force damage.  If the Save is successful he takes half damage and remains in the box.  If he has somewhere to go, or he is still in when the spells duration ends, or it is dispelled in some manner (such as an Antimagic Field), he must make a similar Save or 5d6 Force damage (if successful he just takes half damage).  If the victim is placed in the box at any time, and dies as a result, it becomes an Undead of whatever type is appropriate.


Schrodinger's Mislead
9th Level Transmutation
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Self (500 feet)
Components: V, S, M (small clay statuette of yourself)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 Minutes
A puff of smoke momentarily conceals you, and when it parts there are two of you occupying your square.  One is an Illusory double that acts according to your pre-programmed demands in the manner of a Project Image spell.  So long as you and the double remain in range, there is a 50% when you are attacked that you Teleport to the doubles location instead of being hit.


Schrodinger's Paradox/b]
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S, M (cube of rare metals worth 50 GP)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Hour
For the duration of the spell, any time the target creature is unobserved odd things can happen.  Whenever no other creature on the board can see it (which for purposes of this spell will be PC's, NPC's, and Monsters), whether due to hiding, total concealment or invisibility (or other effect) it has a 50% chance of having several problems.  First off, if it remains unobserved for at least 1 round, there is a 50% chance it must make an additional Charisma Save, or take 10d6 Force damage when it becomes observed again.  Also when an event happens that would allow it to be observed, there is a 50% chance that it (or it's corpse) is no longer there, having teleported to a random location within one mile where the current creatures involved in the encounter cannot see it.


SCHRODINGER SMASH!l
9th Level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 500 feet
Components: V, S, M (cube of rare metals worth 50 GP)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Choose one  point within the spell's range, and it affects a 60 foot radius from that point.  Outside the area of effect, observers see a Gargantuan cat playing in a box.  Inside the area of effect the sky is raining hell, and the dead walk the earth.  Anytime an attack is made there is a 50% chance the target isn't actually there, and instead the target reappears in the nearest available unoccupied square.  Anytime a corpse is observed (make a Spot roll for anyone in it's vicinity) there is a 50% chance it reanimates as a Zombie and begins attacking anything near it until the spell expires and it becomes a corpse again.  All beings within the spells area of effect are Confused as per the spell so long as they remain inside.  Constructs are Slowed instead.   Any living creature has a 50% chance per round of it's Type changing to Undead.  Any Undead has a 50% chance per sound of reverting to it's former Type.


Supurrfluous
4th Level Enchantment
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: 30 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 Minute
Choose one creature within range to make a Wisdom Save.  If your victim fails his Save, you can convince him any one action is unnecessary (no matter how necessary it might be).  He will only refrain from taking said action for as long as the spell lasts.  For example, you can ask him not to attack, not to tell on you for something, not to ring a bell, etc.