« on: December 09, 2015, 01:27:20 AM »
After years of waiting, I'm too broke to see Star Wars next week (as a big lifelong fan, this is a more crushing blow to my psyche than it might appear).
Mental health institutions piss me off to no end. It's all fucking pseudoscience and placebos. Like, my brother has a brain tumor and my mother has had chronic migraines her entire life and I have a mental illness, yet no one has ever given me an x-ray or brain scan or whatever to look at my head to see if there's something physically wrong in there. Or maybe a blood test, to see what vitamins I'm deficient in. I mean, is it too much to ask for you to have some real evidence before you give me an official diagnosis and proscribe me a drug? Evidence other than the self-report of a mentally ill person? Send me home with one of those FitBit things for a week, monitor my sleep and exercise habits, body temp, heartrate. Maybe stick a mic in there so you can hear the sorts of things that are going on in my life. There is a wealth of information you could be gathering to get an accurate depiction of what is wrong and how to correct it, but no one uses it. And if your drugs take a fucking month or two to show results, maybe they aren't actually effective. I mean, a lot can happen in a month that would make it seem like it's working, not the least of which is the placebo effect, or hey, maybe my circumstances get better and I feel better. And then you chalk it up as the drug "working" so you can milk me for drug money for the next several years... Some of them have actual addictive properties, and you wonder why people are different when they come off of them. Hint: it's not because it was "working." Oh, and fucking therapy? What a goddamn joke. Please, take my money so I can vent about my problems to you and you can give me platitudes like a goddamn fortune-cookie dispenser. Oh, you want me to come up with my own personal treatment plan and stick to it? If I could actually do that I wouldn't need someone with a fucking degree in psychology. Oh yeah, give me a fucking handout to read, as if I didn't already know what negative thoughts are. And what if I need something more invasive than a simple "show up every week for an hour and bitch"? And not something so invasive as locking me in a secure hospital wing where you're simultaneously treated like a child and a danger to everyone around you. That will make me feel better about myself, won't it? Doesn't anyone make house calls? If I don't show up to an appointment maybe it's because I'M MENTALLY ILL AND COULDN'T GET OUT OF BED TODAY. Or treat it like physical therapy where the therapist comes up with the treatment plan and we do mental exercises to strengthen my brain back into something useful? FUCK. I shouldn't even be surprised. The system is set up so that they're incentivized to keep me coming back for more drugs and weekly therapy sessions until I either die by own hand or say "FUCK THIS FUCK YOU FUCK ALL THE THINGS I DON'T NEED YOU AND NEVER DID."