I must be missing something. Where does this rabbit hole start, and who is this person? I just see a category page with some fever dream level homebrew.
I forgot to link the original thing: this atrocity
. I took it for little more than bad homebrew (not to mention homebrew we don't even support since we work with parts of editions and not entire editions). Then in the talk page he dropped some (broken) links to some wiki. Actually that's not even how I found it, I was googling "what the hell is a Craftslan
" and that was the second link in all of the internet.
Then I realized how much effort was put into this thing. Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
I'm not sure what's the most terrible thing I've read. I think the top ones off my head:
*Aryans is a race, as well as Asians (no matter how he misspells it) and "Afrikans". Naturally Aryans are giant pale supermen (who apparently gain permenant points in Perception for climbing mountains).
*Everyone levels differently, some exponentially. Mages only need 1 xp to level from 1 to 2, and thousands in later level. Warriors need 0 xp to get to level 10. For the better, since the first 10 levels of warrior is learning how to walk, talk, and not shit oneself in public.
*How many actions you get is determined by your speed. Dwarves literally run in slower time, and elves age faster.
*Talking is not a free action, and actually costs mana. Running out of mana can either tire you or kill you, and seems to be equivalent to starving to death. You can speak about 60 sentences per day if you don't recover mana before you die.
*Good aligned gods can resist water.
*Traders can Pun-Pun by trading a ladder and 1 gp between each other for infinite XP. Mages can do the same slower by casting spells at the ground.
*Neo Warriors are Warriors who don't War.
*WotC are apparently real people in the setting.
*Harry Potter, LotR, Conan, and of course WotC have no problem with you smashing all of their settings together.
*Faeries are all pussies. You can age them to death by asking about how old they are.
*All dice are fine except d10s, because they are incorrect geometry and not real Platonic solids. Please ignore that d% just being 2d10.
*Bribing your DM is hard coded into the rules, with real benefits.
*Druids can cast huge blizzards, reshape the land, and create mines with the work of 100 men. Except then it's like "burn 100 mana to move 1/3 cup of matter". But then they can convert their bones into antimatter for more power. I did some math to determine you need microscopic amounts to Jedi-pull lightsabers around for free.
*Some classes can't gain XP, they can only have XP donated to them.
*2 hours of real time is a year in game. Better RP damn quick, you're aging to death as you speak!
*Starfleet Captain, Jesus, Buddah, and God are all viable classes. As is "Flight Creator", whatever the fuck that is.
*"HERE'S SOMETHING REALLY INTERESTING (waiting approval from James Wyatt...??): This race, developed into a dragon, once they get to legendary levels, can become one of the heads of Wizards of the Coast (incorporated). The Blue Dragon Director of Invention: creates new magical and equipment items or spells. The Purple Dragon is Creative Director: creates campaigns, written materials. White Dragon can be the head of the organization. Orange Dragons, Director of Revenue and Merchandizing. Yellow Dragon, Director of Artwork: guides making of visual materials. They have to defend their position to any other potential player for the head in the WotC, DM'd by the existing White Dragon or head of WotC."
What the fuck.
*And the biggest offender: This is a guidebook on how not to DM. It commits every DM sin I could think of.
It's just so beautiful.