Author Topic: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4  (Read 34180 times)

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #420 on: June 26, 2018, 06:33:52 PM »
So tonight we had to pitch our proposed business model in class. Teacher instructed us to make it "short and memorable".
<a picture of a pink bear on a couch with Harry Van Pottersing in the foreground>
But what's the business model?
Customized FTTX internet.
Marketing needs some work, try linking the advertisement to the product.  :P

US ads don't need that, why should Kuro?  :P

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #421 on: June 26, 2018, 11:43:23 PM »
I was going to shoot a fiber optic cable into the room and zipline in, but my budget was shot after I got the hat.

Also, who you calling Harry Potter? It's not like he has a monopoly on round-lensed glasses. I liked those before he used them.  :P

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Offline Necrosnoop110

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #422 on: June 27, 2018, 12:23:18 PM »
As a non-video gamer, I never heard this one before, not sure how well known this story is. But I found it to be hilariously fantastic.


Asheron's Call's Shard Of Harry

     The entire history of mythology is unrelenting douchebaggery, from heroes deciding that murder is cool as long as the victims are a different race to gods bending cosmic forces to screw over someone who forgot to say thanks once. And on Asheron's Call's Thistledown server, one group transcended this divine dickishness to become legend. The game ran a year-long story triggered by players shattering precious crystals, because chasing shiny objects and killing things are all MMO gamers ever do. Unless you want them to, in which case they'll do the exact opposite.

     The "Defenders of the Shard" set up camp around the sixth and final crystal, the Shard of the Herald, the prison of Bael' Zhaeron, Hopeslayer. Also, they nicknamed it Harry. 24 hours a day they defended it against other players and sacrificed themselves to it, because Asheron's Call monsters can level up by killing players. The Harry Krishnas impaled themselves on His Spikiness until He was practically invincible. This one group was holding up the next update for every server of the entire game. The developers, in the awesome manner of movie bad guys, stepped in to fight the players on their own level. Instead of simply rewriting the crystal as gone, they appeared in-game as mythical characters and called two high-level players to join their attack. These players had completed an earlier quest making them indebted to the story's cause, but brilliantly, one had already defected and was now a Disciple of Harry.

     The admins donned their epic weapons, sallied forth ... and promptly got their asses kicked. They were killed by their own players in a world they'd built, making this officially a science fiction movie. 20 Turbine staff watching on a break room screen were treated to players jumping up and down on the admins' corpses. Because Asheron's Call doesn't have a crouch button. Worse, Harry had resisted command-level instructions to power down. The staff joked that He had attained sentience. Understand: If a computer program ever escapes and kills us, it won't be because of the military. It'll be because gamers trained it to. The staff tried again. And again. The third time, they got lucky in their own game, and instead of banning people, they paid tribute to their valiant foes. The Thistledown server got a unique monument, the "Shard Vigil Memorial," honoring the players who had kicked the company's ass for so long.

Source: http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-elaborate-dick-moves-in-online-gaming-history/
Video: https://youtu.be/OnemGvYLOZQ

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #423 on: June 28, 2018, 09:27:29 AM »
Also, who you calling Harry Potter?
Not me, HP is for chumps. You are Harry Von Pottersing. By day you are a student trying to score decent grades, fit in with normal people, and work out your romantic issues but by night you use your patronus blessed crossbow to hunt and kill a creepy nose-less Nasfaru vampire's coven to avenge your parents. It's not a story about incompetent adults and one very lucky kid, but a story about a kid that learns to stab things in the heart with the Sword of Griffondor to prevent his enemies from raising from the grave.  :cool
Would you die if you jumped from my perceived ego to your IQ? - Is 15secs of confirmation bias a goal post worth arguing for? - Ever asked a "victim" what they did to deserve it? - Are the words teen, SJW, & liberal synonyms? - "Only Sith deals in absolutes" contains a misspelled word.

Offline brujon

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #424 on: June 28, 2018, 05:17:14 PM »
Also, who you calling Harry Potter?
Not me, HP is for chumps. You are Harry Von Pottersing. By day you are a student trying to score decent grades, fit in with normal people, and work out your romantic issues but by night you use your patronus blessed crossbow to hunt and kill a creepy nose-less Nasfaru vampire's coven to avenge your parents. It's not a story about incompetent adults and one very lucky kid, but a story about a kid that learns to stab things in the heart with the Sword of Griffondor to prevent his enemies from raising from the grave.  :cool

I'd legit watch this movie
"All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing his Don Quixote in a miserable prison" - Schopenhauer, Aphorisms: The Wisdom of Life

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #425 on: June 28, 2018, 08:55:46 PM »
Also, who you calling Harry Potter?
Not me, HP is for chumps. You are Harry Von Pottersing. By day you are a student trying to score decent grades, fit in with normal people, and work out your romantic issues but by night you use your patronus blessed crossbow to hunt and kill a creepy nose-less Nasfaru vampire's coven to avenge your parents. It's not a story about incompetent adults and one very lucky kid, but a story about a kid that learns to stab things in the heart with the Sword of Griffondor to prevent his enemies from raising from the grave.  :cool
...OK, I'd star in that.

OH NO, PROFESSOR SNIPE HAS BEEN TURNED! But my Long Term Finances test is tomorrow! Can I find a way to turn him back BEFORE he grades my test?!
« Last Edit: June 28, 2018, 09:02:45 PM by Kuroimaken »
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Offline trappedslider

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #426 on: July 25, 2018, 01:03:45 AM »
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JuheO4zSQ-j_MBYg_YuKtBFvdJPfhSyKmp4KzlJP5Pc/edit?usp=sharing

Is is jsut a section of my book that i'd like some feedback on please

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #427 on: July 25, 2018, 04:59:03 PM »
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JuheO4zSQ-j_MBYg_YuKtBFvdJPfhSyKmp4KzlJP5Pc/edit?usp=sharing

Is is jsut a section of my book that i'd like some feedback on please
Minor typo here:
Quote
They had divorced when I was little and form what my mom had told me it was for the better.

Double quotes here:
Quote
““Mmm, this is good,” she said, taking a bite of the salmon.

Minor typo here:
Quote
“I always have a plan, you should get use to it.”

And here:
Quote
It looked like we [were?] going to what everyone called “make out point.” It was a good size hill that

And here:
Quote
It looked like there [were?] already a number of cars parked there.

Also here:
Quote
She answered looking into my face searching for a sign that that I might be angry climbing off the hood to stand in front of me.

Aside from these, I find your style of writing interesting, if a bit crisp. It's probably just me, but I felt like your text could use more commas. It's a light read, easy on the eyes and it was actually kind of cute in what it described, left more room for us to imagine what the characters were feeling. First person narratives are nice in that they don't give you details that the character him/herself may have missed, and in that your writing fits like a glove to me.

I hope this feedback is useful to you.
Kami darou ga akuma darou ga, ore no michi ni tateru mono NASHI!!

Give me internets. Now.

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #428 on: July 25, 2018, 06:13:24 PM »
I'm not really comfortable editing "creative" writing, style is very subjective and there are a lot of things that people do that I loathe but aren't actually incorrect writing (I didn't read your work so I am not targeting you).

Offline trappedslider

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #429 on: July 25, 2018, 07:04:36 PM »
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JuheO4zSQ-j_MBYg_YuKtBFvdJPfhSyKmp4KzlJP5Pc/edit?usp=sharing

Is is jsut a section of my book that i'd like some feedback on please
Minor typo here:
Quote
They had divorced when I was little and form what my mom had told me it was for the better.

Double quotes here:
Quote
““Mmm, this is good,” she said, taking a bite of the salmon.

Minor typo here:
Quote
“I always have a plan, you should get use to it.”

And here:
Quote
It looked like we [were?] going to what everyone called “make out point.” It was a good size hill that

And here:
Quote
It looked like there [were?] already a number of cars parked there.

Also here:
Quote
She answered looking into my face searching for a sign that that I might be angry climbing off the hood to stand in front of me.

Aside from these, I find your style of writing interesting, if a bit crisp. It's probably just me, but I felt like your text could use more commas. It's a light read, easy on the eyes and it was actually kind of cute in what it described, left more room for us to imagine what the characters were feeling. First person narratives are nice in that they don't give you details that the character him/herself may have missed, and in that your writing fits like a glove to me.

I hope this feedback is useful to you.

Oh yes this feedback helps, I forgot to turn comments on so, that any errors could be pointed out without having to copy and paste here. This is just a small section isolated from the whole book, which is going to be an expanded version of a short story I did years ago.
I'm not really comfortable editing "creative" writing, style is very subjective and there are a lot of things that people do that I loathe but aren't actually incorrect writing (I didn't read your work so I am not targeting you).
That's understandable, I'm mainly looking for the type or errors that kuroi pointed out, and  over use of words (like said). This is currently a very rough draft.

Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #430 on: August 08, 2018, 03:32:40 PM »
 :plot

Saw something new today.
A truck was going down the road backwards.
I thought it was being towed, with a warning light spinning.
Got closer = nope.

The "truck" front half was being driven backwards intentionally.
The "back" trailer half was instead a bigger than standard Backhoe.
It's like they (literally) glued the 2 halves together, cutting out
the pickup bed of the truck, and the running gear of the backhoe.

<-- "truck+trailer" , "gear+backhoe" -->
vs
<--- "Truck + Backhoe" --->

It's like the Theurge of work vehicles.
 :o who woulda thunk that John Deere was bot watching ye old C.O. board
avatar#3 , gravitational lensing edition ... I'm way on the other side of the universe but look like pretty rings

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #431 on: September 12, 2018, 02:20:21 PM »
So I've been shaving with a straight razor for half a week now.

I am NEVER going back to the regular disposable crap again.

Kami darou ga akuma darou ga, ore no michi ni tateru mono NASHI!!

Give me internets. Now.

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #432 on: September 12, 2018, 03:20:22 PM »
I'm all about electric razors myself.

Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #433 on: September 12, 2018, 03:22:34 PM »
They do control the beard rather well

Offline SorO_Lost

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #434 on: September 12, 2018, 05:26:12 PM »
I mix and match. Trimmers are great for managing length while electric shavers in general just don't end up smooth enough so I use a disposable when I need to dress up.
Would you die if you jumped from my perceived ego to your IQ? - Is 15secs of confirmation bias a goal post worth arguing for? - Ever asked a "victim" what they did to deserve it? - Are the words teen, SJW, & liberal synonyms? - "Only Sith deals in absolutes" contains a misspelled word.

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #435 on: September 12, 2018, 09:31:26 PM »
I'm all about electric razors myself.
Always gave me terrible razor burn, for some reason. I use the expensive disposable ones. I cut myself badly enough sometimes with them. I'd need to live across the street from the ED to survive using a straight razor...
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline SolEiji

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #436 on: September 13, 2018, 02:34:34 AM »
*An unrelated Eiji reappears*
Mudada.

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #437 on: September 13, 2018, 11:23:47 AM »
*An unrelated Eiji reappears*

You were gone for over a year. Everything okay?

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #438 on: September 13, 2018, 04:26:11 PM »
I'm all about electric razors myself.
Always gave me terrible razor burn, for some reason. I use the expensive disposable ones. I cut myself badly enough sometimes with them. I'd need to live across the street from the ED to survive using a straight razor...
Pah, people SERIOUSLY overestimate how much control you need to use a straight razor. All about the angle and feel, really.

Regular disposable razors work by pressing into the skin. Straight razors work by angling it ALMOST parallel to the skin and sliding over. It's not complicated, provided you don't try to shave AGAINST the hair.
Kami darou ga akuma darou ga, ore no michi ni tateru mono NASHI!!

Give me internets. Now.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Awesome stuff you have to share, V4
« Reply #439 on: September 13, 2018, 04:28:10 PM »
*An unrelated Eiji reappears*

You were gone for over a year. Everything okay?
He just needed the right amount of testosterone to be resummoned. HEY EIJI
Kami darou ga akuma darou ga, ore no michi ni tateru mono NASHI!!

Give me internets. Now.