So my mom asks me to get her some cash, which involves me crossing the street to the ATM.
On the way back someone calls out "Thief! He got my phone!"
I'm wearing a Star Wars sweatshirt, someone yells "Do something! Use the Force!"
So I dash across the street and plant both my feet onto the jackass. He collapses like a bag of potatoes. Pretty sure he couldn't breathe right for five minutes.
"Sorry, someone asked me to use mass times acceleration, and I'm nothing if not obliging to my fans!"