I guinea-pigged myself to use the new handicap voting machine ; which the poll workers are fine with, they don't know how to use them otherwise.
Paper in try #1 = error.
Paper in try #2 = error (just so we're straight, I can put paper into slot, even my kitty avatar can do that)
Paper in try #3 = contact election official
Election guy presses button saying : "Let's try this." (indicating he's taking a shot in the dark)
Paper in try #4 = good to go
Election guy says : "I don't know what happened."
So I vote.
I press "Done"
Machine goes into processing ballot mode.
Processing ballot symbol pops up, rotates quarters like a clock.
Processing ballot symbol stays up.
5 minutes go by.
Election guy says : "It's done this before."
---> indicating that no, someone had actually used it before, and they didn't really need a guinea-pig, but clearly they (all) needed the practice
Machine throws error code, different category from earlier.
Election guy says : "It should spit the ballot out."
X minutes go by.
---> no good patriotic deed goes unpunished right?
Machine spits out paper.
Machine didn't tabulate vote, at all, it's blank.
Election guy goes : "Huh?"
---> indicating that something happened they didn't cover in training (not that that could possibly have made a difference)
"I guess you can vote the traditional way."
"Sounds good to me."
I get my "I Voted" sticker.
I chat with election guy for a while.
5 minutes go by.
Woman says Hi to me.
I have no recollection who this is.
I identify myself, to speed things along.
She knows someone in common 2 steps removed, from a long long time ago.
Blah blah blah.
Hey Thor, where'd this Valkyrie come from ?!
I had a crush on her when I was 10.
I have a sly smile on my face right now.
---> indicating don't just stand there, bust a move, if you want it, you got it baby
By far the sexiest vote I've ever cast.
I'm distracted, what were you saying ...