A really strange thought started percolating in my head quite some time ago. From 1993 up until 2010 the Walt Disney Company owned Miramax and by extension Dimension Films (Dimension was part of Miramax from 1992 until 2005). Now that would mean that the movies Pulp Fiction
, Jackie Brown
, Kill Bill 1 & 2
, From Dusk Till Dawn
, Scream 2
, Scream 3
and The Faculty
were all produced and distributed by the Walt Disney Company, by way of Miramax of course. Or as my father once half-jokingly said, "See, Pulp Fiction
is a Disney movie."
I'm going the Kingdom Hearts
route and combining all these Miramax/Dimension Films into one world, along with one mainstream Disney live-action movie. I'm talking about the Disney version of The Princess Diaries
, because I can think pretty dark and fucked up when I feel like it. I doubt I'm much more than a mere apprentice at thinking up dark and fucked up ideas though. Now oddly enough this screwed up mess of a world has more
than one Princess of Heart, six of them to be exact. When I said that I'm going the Kingdom Hearts
route, I meant it.
Yolanda/"Honey Bunny" (maybe)
For this crossover I've decided that Princess Mia has an older maternal second cousin, from Woodsboro, CA. The two have visited several times before the most recent one in 1995, for the funeral of Mia Thermopolis's beloved second aunt, Maureen Prescott, following Mrs. Prescott's brutal murder. So was their great grandfather, retired U.S. Army Lt. Aldo Raines, still remarkably spry, hearty and hale for his age. The original Ghostfaces should thank God he wasn't in town, because he wouldn't have granted them the relatively quick and merciful deaths they got, especially after what they did to his granddaughter and tried to do to his great granddaughter Sidney. He'd also have two new scalps to add to his collection. I'm cheating here a bit, but since Tarantino took his film universe to The Weinstein Company after leaving Miramax along with the Weinstein brothers, I feel no trouble with grandfathering in Tarantino's later films.
I'm thinking of starting this crossover at or around the beginnings of The Princess Diaries
and Scream 3
, which will occur simultaneously in this crossover. Of course this will give Mia Thermopolis even more reason to be mortified about suddenly learning of her royal status. In canon, both book and Disney film, Mia was worried about failing to live up to expectations and being thought of as a freak, along with generally feeling like her world has been turned upside down. In this crossover, Mia has all these reasons and more to be frightened by the prospect of being a princess.
The "more" part is being related to Sidney Prescott, something Mia and her cousin Sidney would like to keep quiet for as long as possible. Mia and Sid are afraid that when the media, specifically the paparazzi, digs into Mia's non-royal side, that they'll uncover her relation to Sidney Prescott and practically lead psycho killers right to Sidney, her father Neil or even Mia and her mother Helen as well as each others friends. Mia and Sid are afraid for the lives of pretty much the only family either one's known for most of their lives. Mia Thermopolis will be really reluctant to reveal she's a princess to the public in this fic/adventure.
So how do Pulp Fiction
and Kingdom Hearts
fit into this you ask. Simple, this fic/adventure takes place shortly after the conclusion of KH Dream Drop Distance
with Xehanort and his duplicates as the new Organization XIII. Yes, Master Xehanort has the requisite seven Princesses of Heart in his reach, but he also knows they aren't the only ones out there. In fact he spots a single world that actually has seven Princesses of Heart living on it. Well six Princesses of Heart and one Prince of Heart, a pudgy and dimwitted boy who prattles on about "the Talking Walnut" and gets bullied and beaten up almost daily. Yep, that's Thurman Merman for you. That and one of this world's six Princesses of Heart is Mia Wallace, the coke snorting, ex-actress wife of ruthless crime boss Marcellus Wallace. Now strange and dark creatures
begin hunting for this world's Princesses of Heart for Master Xehanort, focusing on three of them to start, Mia Wallace, Fabienne and "Honey Bunny"/Yolanda. That should help get this story moving.
So, the basic gist of this crossover is that the film adaptation of The Princess Diaries
shares the same world with Quentin Tarantino's movies, the Scream
movies, From Dusk Till Dawn
and Bad Santa
, maybe even The Faculty
. Here's a rough movie based timeline for the crossover. The past
The events of Django Unchained
The events of The Hateful Eight
The events of Inglourious Basterds
Maureen Roberts' brief acting career in Hollywood, ending in her gang-rape at a party hosted by B horror movie producer John Milton, which he participated in. This in turn resulted in the conception and birth of her son Roman Bridger, née Roberts, Scream 3
The birth of Sidney Prescott to Neil and Maureen Prescott.
The birth of Princess Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi or simply Mia Thermopolis, heir to the kingdom of Genovia to Phillipe and Helen Thermopolis Renaldi.
The divorce of Phillipe and Helen Renaldi.
The events of Reservoir Dogs
The events of Pulp Fiction
The murder of Maureen Prescott, née Roberts, by Billy Loomis and Stu Macher and their framing of Cotton Weary. This was done at the instigation and with the advice of Roman Bridger, Maureen's son and a bastard in both senses of the word.
Maureen Prescott's funeral, attended by her husband Neil, her daughter Sidney, her cousin Helen Thermopolis, Helen's daughter Mia and of course, Sid's and Mia's great grandad, Lt. Aldo Raines.
The events of Scream
, From Dusk Till Dawn
and the massacre of Beatrix Kiddo's wedding rehearsal by Bill and the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.
The events of Scream 2
and Jackie Brown
Possibly the events of The Faculty
. Start of crossover
The events of Scream 3
and The Princess Diaries
. This is where the crossover begins, with Sora and his allies looking for and aiming to protect three of this world's Princesses of Heart, Sidney Prescott, Kate Fuller and Mia Thermopolis while also looking for potential keyblade bearers. The Princess of Heart list for the world may overlap with it's potential keybearer list. The future
The events of Bad Santa
The events of Kill Bill 1 & 2
The potential events of Scream 4
The crossover's locations.
Crown Pawn Shop
Ingelwood strip club (Marsellus' front)
Marsellus Wallace's home
The Thermopolis family home/former firehouse
Grove High School
The Prescott residence
The Loomis residence
The Macher residence
Woodsboro High School
Woodsboro Police Department
Woodsboro Town Square
Whatever town Scream 2
takes place in
Butch Coolidge's home
Aldo Raines' home
Maybe even Jules Winnfield's home
The Titty Twister
Imagine Sora, Mickey, Donald, Goofy and rest of the gang adventuring though this world. By the way, various Disney/Kingdom Hearts villains will also get involved. As our friendly neighborhood pool guy Wade Wilson would say "This shit's gonna have nuts in it!"
I've been thinking about making this crossover a table top RPG adventure and expanding it out into a setting. I'm just drawing a blank on what system to use for it. You have FATE, Mutants and Masterminds, a modified World of Darkness or a re-skinned Star Wars Saga Edition to pick from, as a start. Any other system recommendations would be welcome too. I'm also thinking about adding some non-Disney or TWC elements too. I'm thinking along the lines of giving Lilly and Michael Muscovitz an aunt Cynthia, with an ex-husband by the name of Walter Sobchak. Yes, that Walter Sobchak