Author Topic: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life  (Read 37411 times)

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #500 on: November 13, 2019, 07:49:09 AM »
So as you guys may or may not remember, I had a kidney stone back near the end of September, which we're still not sure is radioactive.

Yesterday I had a follow-up procedure to remove the sheath they put in my kidney to prevent it from clamping up.

I spent the entirety of the night fighting the urge to strangle random people at the hospital THAT DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OF SILENCE.
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Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #501 on: November 15, 2019, 03:23:55 PM »
My emergency van repairs (brakes went out while driving due to a fluid leak) put me at -$600. My contract job coming up just called and said they are cutting the hours down by a full day, putting the pay down to $500. I was REALLY depending on that money, as I currently possess $2 and some loose change and that has to carry me for the rest of this month. I still haven't bought groceries and I'm working off the same tank of gas from last month. Looks like I'm going to be fasting for more than just health reasons this time around >.>
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Offline Nanshork

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #502 on: November 15, 2019, 06:08:10 PM »
Ugh, I worry about you.

Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #503 on: November 16, 2019, 10:36:53 PM »
Ugh, I worry about you.

That makes two of us. The brakes went out again on the highway AFTER the repair and I stopped about 3 inches from the bumper of the guy in front of me. I'm officially not allowed to drive this thing faster than residential speeds until it's confirmed fixed.  :shakefist
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Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #504 on: November 18, 2019, 01:44:37 AM »
Trasmission appears to be fucked or something. I took it downtown to go for a relaxing walk around the thrift shops with my partner and when we got back we couldn't get it to move. 3+ hours of tow truck bullshittery later, I'm going to bed.  :shakefist

Now that I've had a nap, I can even this out with some appreciation:

Thanks tow truck dudes, you did your best when regulations were really fucking with us both. (height limits, etc)
Thanks partner, you were super chill about the entire experience.
Thanks nearby bar, you made me a specialty drink that my liver can tolerate that was warm and comfortable. (Hot Toddy replacing the whisky with gin and the honey with simple syrup, add a lemon and it tastes like a mildly alcoholic hot lemon tea. Very soothing.)
Thanks MinMax, y'all have been great to me lately and the extra work you ordered from me has smoothed things out enough that I'm not in danger of a depressive spiral over the stress.
« Last Edit: November 18, 2019, 04:23:50 PM by Nytemare3701 »
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #505 on: November 19, 2019, 05:01:52 PM »
ugh that sucks

If you're lucky, there's an easy problem with the transmission.
Sometimes when you park the van, you'll lock the steering and it takes some fiddling to get it to unlock.
An automatic transmission can do the same if you don't work the brake pedal + shifter perfectly.
IF you're lucky that's all it is, and it's just a screwdriver turn to unlock to fix it.
If ... you're lucky.
Heck the owner's manual might even have a (slightly byzantine) procedure to do it yourself.
IFF

Good luck.
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #506 on: November 20, 2019, 02:56:25 PM »
Glad taking some time out helped, Nyte. With a little luck things should be approaching some levels of reasonability in no time.
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Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #507 on: November 20, 2019, 04:44:42 PM »
One round of troubleshooting later, we have determined that the back brakes have locked up. Tomorrow morning we attempt to fix.
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Offline KellKheraptis

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #508 on: November 30, 2019, 05:41:11 PM »
So we just had a massive Thanksgiving fight within the family.  Fiancee's daughter came over Friday blowing up that she didn't get invited all after seeing a pic of someone we've taken in and her together from Thanksgiving.  Daughter is 25 with two kids of her own, for reference.  She also has been told she's welcome to come over any time - kinda didn't think she NEEDED a graven invitation?  She seems to think she's being replaced by the kid we took in, and as soon as she mentioned something about it, the rest of my fiancee's kids piled on, despite it having no basis in fact or reality.  I'm || to unloading on her, as the entire time my fiancee has been doing EXACTLY what all of us agreed was best for her, which was recovering and laying low, and she just got her ass chewed out (which is not good for her lipoma on her fucking brain) for doing EXACTLY that.

Any ideas?  I'm seriously about to let her kids have a piece of my mind, and maybe also kindly let them know that the only person who REALLY suffers from their false assumptions is me for getting to deal with the flack from both sides.  And I am also 100% positive that if anything else happens between now and the next few days, this will be a moot point, as I WILL unload on everyone.

I can only play mediator for so long before I lose my shit, you know?

Offline altpersona

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #509 on: November 30, 2019, 07:15:13 PM »
the thing that stands out to me is Fiancee

basically its an adult who has a relationship w. your advanced gf. so not a lot of room for your input, that would be well received.... imo

also, factor the crazy in for the long term.... my harsh 2c is jump ship... the crazy wont just 'get better'
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Offline KellKheraptis

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #510 on: November 30, 2019, 08:20:04 PM »
the thing that stands out to me is Fiancee

basically its an adult who has a relationship w. your advanced gf. so not a lot of room for your input, that would be well received.... imo

also, factor the crazy in for the long term.... my harsh 2c is jump ship... the crazy wont just 'get better'

Fiancee is a legal term in this case - we've been together for 13 years, were married, divorced, realized we still wanted to be together, and here we are.

Offline altpersona

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #511 on: December 01, 2019, 06:10:17 AM »
Yeah, thats a horse of a different color

in that case, i'd formally disinvite crazy from future activities until they get uncrazy.

but, again... im a bit harsh n ymmv
The goal of power is power. - 1984
We are not descended from fearful men. - Murrow
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #512 on: December 01, 2019, 04:42:40 PM »
For reference, how old is the kid you took in? :???
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Offline KellKheraptis

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #513 on: December 01, 2019, 06:12:15 PM »
For reference, how old is the kid you took in? :???

Same age as our youngest approximately - 17.  Her mother is two states away and almost unreachable, and her father doesn't even have a place - he approved as well and is over regularly.  Basically she was put in a situation where it was either interrupt her schooling and try to find her mother in CO, or find someplace local to finish the year.  Her dad was on board, we'd always told both of them they are welcome here, so we took her in.

Offline altpersona

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #514 on: December 02, 2019, 04:52:37 AM »
yeah, the 25 yo who is jealous of the homeless 17yo, needs calibrated.  :banghead
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #515 on: December 02, 2019, 09:20:02 AM »
yeah, the 25 yo who is jealous of the homeless 17yo, needs calibrated.  :banghead

Yes and no... I went through something similar, my dad adopted a baby when I was 20. The feeling of rejection does happen. To this day, I still have a semi-awkward relationship with the fact - he's a great kid though and I've always loved children, which helped me smooth things over and build a relationship with him. That said, I managed to process things with relative ease because, among other things, I knew that his wife (he had been divorced from my mom for over a decade at the time and remarried) had always wanted a kid, but they'd had a miscarriage at one point and she was past menopause, so I could easily rationalize that the adoption was the next logical step and my dad wasn't doing that to hurt me.

With that being said, it sounds like the situation is less "adoption" and more "letting someone else's kid stay at your home", especially with said kid's dad being still in the picture and visiting often. I'm thinking there's something more complicated behind this. Her own kids probably piled on in support of their mother because the way they see it, if their mom is hurting because of it, it needs to be attacked (I've seen both myself and my sister in this kind of situation before). Mind you, I'm not saying any of them is remotely right in what they did, what I'm saying is that their behavior is coming from a different place and that they themselves will end up regretting it once they realize what it is.

Now for the bad news. Given that your fiancee is dealing with something extremely dangerous for her health, it IS going to fall on you to defuse the whole thing. (Ideally this would involve psychiatric aid, someone else to act as a mediator between the two of you.) And for that to work, you're going to need to NOT unload on her, or her kids, and be not only the bigger but far more mature of the two. Talking about it IS likely to trigger a whole lot of feelings that she isn't prepared for and that might turn to anger, but the way to work with it is to deflect and deflate her arguments slowly and calmly so she gets at the real root of the issue. You might even realize partway through the conversation what the real problem is. It DOES take a lot of patience to do this, so you'll need some time to cool off and process your own feelings towards this situation before you should even try. Assuming you can pull it off, she will talk to her kids herself about this and all of them will eventually apologize to your fiancee and the kid you guys took in. But, again, wait for some time to cool things off. If confronted, tell them that's exactly where you're at - trying to make sure you're being the fairest to everyone in this situation, themselves included.
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #516 on: December 02, 2019, 05:03:08 PM »
Lipoma on the brain , is way more important than 25 y.o. feeling feelings.

2nd-ing the cool down.


It's a weird way to signal it, but I'd bet the 25 y.o. half wanted / half needed, a more precise and formal Thanksgiving "P"-lan.  Meaning do that for X-mas ; i.e. Hey lets get together, isn't good enough, rather Hey lets get our calendars out and semi-micromanage it this time, would actually work better.
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Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #517 on: December 03, 2019, 03:43:40 PM »
Van Update: We found the root cause: The Proportioning Valve was stuck and needed replacing. This part has been discontinued for a decade or more, so getting one meant trusting a random Ebay seller with almost $80 for a single small part. The shop isn't going to quote me a price until they find out how much labor is going to be involved in getting the old one removed (since it has been firmly attached for 30 years) and they are already trying to bleed me dry as it is. At least I'm not much of a christmas person, as participation in gift exchange feels vaguely coercive and stressful.

Edit: They gouged me another $500 for the repair job. If Christmas wasn't cancelled before, it sure as hell is now.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2019, 09:51:57 PM by Nytemare3701 »
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Offline Keldar

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #518 on: December 07, 2019, 06:24:21 AM »
Ouch.

Offline Nytemare3701

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Re: The Small Rants Thread XII: The Folly of Life
« Reply #519 on: December 10, 2019, 10:28:03 PM »
THE SAGA CONTINUES

I was on my way to a week-long job out of town (after having driven it as normal for the last few days to make sure it was working properly) and THE BRAKES WENT OUT AGAIN WHILE I WAS ON THE HIGHWAY. :shakefist

This is TWICE now I've almost died due to negligent repairs. I'm now (mostly) stranded outside my jobsite, but the good news is that I don't need to leave here till Friday, so it's time to hunt for a local mechanic.
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