Author Topic: Neo Granzon  (Read 202 times)

Online oslecamo

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Neo Granzon
« on: July 05, 2018, 09:26:40 AM »
Neo Granzon

"I have nothing to gain. I do nothing more than act according to my heart."

Originally developed by Shu Shirakawa and Shu Shirakawa from a parallel dimension, Neo Granzon combines knowledge taken from a dark alien deity with ⅔ of the budget of the Divine Crusaders to create a series of systems that allow a pilot and their mecha to bend the forces of gravity, time and space to their own will. Then use the new Granzon super robot to betray and crush both the alien god and the Divine Crusaders.

Maneuver List

1st level
Gran Beam: Strike- Fires a beam of Force.
Time Manipulation: Counter- React faster, resistance against Force.
Kaballah System: Boost-Fight multiple enemies as easily as one.
Annihilation Engine: Stance–Gain Reactor.

2nd level
Granworm Sword: Strike- a blade that slices gravity and time themselves.
Gravity Manipulation: Strike-Burden down enemies and lighten up allies.
Gran Manipulation: Boost- Control the flows of time, gravity and space in battle.
Space Manipulation: Counter-Reposition against enemy attack.

3rd level
Graviton Cannon:Strike-Saturate area with gravity blasts.
Neo Kaballah System:Stance- New and improved support AI.
Gran Gravity: Counter-Burden down enemy targeting you.
Neo Gran Beam: Boost-Force beam spam.
 
4th level
Worm Smasher: Strike- Attack through portals.
Dark Alchemy: Counter- Nullify other elements.
Neo Granworm Sword: Boost-Combo with the gravity and time slicing blade.

5th level
Neo Graviton Cannon: Boost-More gravitational bombardment.
Distorion Break: Strike-Shoot through multiple portals to drastically increase power.
Neo Time: Counter-React with borrowed time.

6th level
Neo Worm Smasher: Counter-Stop enemy with attacks from portals.
Black Hole Cluster: Strike-Localized singularity to wipe out enemy.
Neo Manipulation: Stance- Gravity, time or space are yours to command.

7th level
Neo Distorion Break: Boost– Shu Shirakawa's advanced research.
Prototype Degeneration Cannon: Strike- The beginning of the end.
Neo Space: Boost-Positions are relative.

8th level
Antimatter Annihilation Engine: Stance-Significant reduction of energy costs.
Neo Black Hole Cluster: Counter-Intercept enemy with a singularity.

9th level
Neo Degeneration Cannon: Boost-To create the new you must first get rid of the old.



Maneuvers Explanations

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: July 07, 2018, 10:45:51 PM by oslecamo »

Online oslecamo

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2018, 09:27:20 AM »
Yeah still have to finish Beam Barrage but had a sudden burst of inspiration for this one.

Offline YuweaCurtis

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2018, 10:23:56 AM »
 :shakefist

Offline Fzzr

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2018, 03:47:14 PM »
Ooh, this could be really fun to play with. Feels really strong, especially the super-Disintegrate maneuvers and the DC-increase synergy. Also, new record for least subtle martial school name! Your move, Internet Explorer.

Quick copy edit:
  • Time Manipulation there's an extra space inside "another  +1".
  • Annihilation Engine is a Stance but it says it's a Strike under the name.
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Gravity Manipulation" option there are two periods at the end of the sentence.
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Gran Gravity" option I think "For 1 round all are moved" should be "For 1 round all enemies are moved".
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Neo Space" option "in our out" should be "in or out".
  • Neo Kaballah System is a Stance but it says it's a Strike under the name.
  • In Gran Gravity "When somebody eles whitin  60" should be "When somebody else within 60" (note removal of extra whitespace as well as two typos).
  • In Neo Gran Beam "as the maneuver an attack action" should probably be "as the maneuver as an attack action".
  • Dark Alchemy is missing a space between "elements" and "are" in the first line of the description.
  • In Neo Granworm Sword there's an extra space between "effect" and "as", then "way" and "of" too.
  • "Distorion Break" should probably be "Distortion Break" in all the places that use the name.
  • Black Hole Cluster has an extra space before the period at the end of the first sentence of the description.
  • Neo Black Hole Cluster should probably say "Super Pilot 8" for level.
  • "In alternative" (two places) should be "alternatively".
  • "whitin" (11 places) should be "within".
  • Neo Degeneration Cannon is a Boost but it says it's a Strike under the name.

Time Manipulation's Force Resistance seems kind of pointless in context - the basic rules read "Mecha weapons always count as [Force] effects whenever it would be benefical for them..." Since it would not be beneficial if the target has Force Resistance, this would pretty much only apply to other maneuvers in this school (sometimes) and to things from outside the homebrew.

You should also add this and the other new schools (Beam Barrage and Everywhere You Go) to the Index.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2018, 04:01:19 PM by Fzzr »

Online oslecamo

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2018, 11:34:08 PM »
Ooh, this could be really fun to play with. Feels really strong, especially the super-Disintegrate maneuvers and the DC-increase synergy. Also, new record for least subtle martial school name! Your move, Internet Explorer.

Well Neo Granzon's theme is called Neo Granzon. So it was that or Granzon's own theme, but I'll be saving that for the tactical feat.

Quick copy edit:
  • Time Manipulation there's an extra space inside "another  +1".
  • Annihilation Engine is a Stance but it says it's a Strike under the name.
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Gravity Manipulation" option there are two periods at the end of the sentence.
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Gran Gravity" option I think "For 1 round all are moved" should be "For 1 round all enemies are moved".
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Neo Space" option "in our out" should be "in or out".
  • Neo Kaballah System is a Stance but it says it's a Strike under the name.
  • In Gran Gravity "When somebody eles whitin  60" should be "When somebody else within 60" (note removal of extra whitespace as well as two typos).
  • In Neo Gran Beam "as the maneuver an attack action" should probably be "as the maneuver as an attack action".
  • Dark Alchemy is missing a space between "elements" and "are" in the first line of the description.
  • In Neo Granworm Sword there's an extra space between "effect" and "as", then "way" and "of" too.
  • "Distorion Break" should probably be "Distortion Break" in all the places that use the name.
  • Black Hole Cluster has an extra space before the period at the end of the first sentence of the description.
  • Neo Black Hole Cluster should probably say "Super Pilot 8" for level.
  • "In alternative" (two places) should be "alternatively".
  • "whitin" (11 places) should be "within".
  • Neo Degeneration Cannon is a Boost but it says it's a Strike under the name.
Typos eradicated from this reality, although a couple notes:
-Gran Manipulation "Gran Gravity" affects everybody, not just enemies, cleaned up.
-Distorion Break is the official translation, and Shu has multiple PhDs so I trust that "Distorion" stands for some really advanced physics discovery of his own research.

Also made Antimatter Annihilation Engine benefit Gravity Wall (prototype).

Time Manipulation's Force Resistance seems kind of pointless in context - the basic rules read "Mecha weapons always count as [Force] effects whenever it would be benefical for them..." Since it would not be beneficial if the target has Force Resistance, this would pretty much only apply to other maneuvers in this school (sometimes) and to things from outside the homebrew.
There's still caster pilot classes that can use Force damage spells, and there's also combos like if you make your mecha ethereal then enemies need to make their weapons count as Force to reliably harm you. Still a bit situational yes, but could happen and the Counter also provides other more general benefits. Just wanted to add a more special [Force] touch.

You should also add this and the other new schools (Beam Barrage and Everywhere You Go) to the Index.

Done.

Offline Fzzr

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2018, 07:49:45 PM »
Fair enough. Fixes looks good, I just noticed a couple more when I was looking through again to check:

  • In Granworm Sword "the Granworm Sword’s may" should probably be "the Granworm Sword’s damage may".
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Time Manipulation" bonus, "Gain an Haste effect" should be "Gain a Haste effect".
  • In the Gran Manipulation "Gran Gravity" bonus, "everybody are moved" should be "everybody is moved".
  • In Neo Kaballah System "the actual Kaballay System maneuver" misspells "Kaballah".
  • Prototype Degeneration Cannon is missing a space between "objects" and "within" and "then the concentrated" should have "Then" capitalized.

Edit: Also, Neo Degeneration Cannon has the wrong type in the short description list.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2018, 09:27:11 PM by Fzzr »

Online oslecamo

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2018, 03:54:56 AM »
Erased those typos as well, also added short descriptions to the maneuver list.

Also does this means that Missile Massacre and Everywhere you Go are 100% free of typos? :p

Offline Fzzr

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Re: Neo Granzon
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2018, 03:03:22 AM »
Also does this means that Missile Massacre and Everywhere you Go are 100% free of typos? :p

Nah, I just haven't had the time and energy to read them in close detail yet. You realize I haven't posted the corrections to the original classes and schools either, right? :P