Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM could say  (Read 52537 times)

Offline brujon

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #20 on: February 25, 2012, 09:59:39 AM »
"This is the last session" not fun when it's over ;/
"All the pride and pleasure of the world, mirrored in the dull consciousness of a fool, are poor indeed compared with the imagination of Cervantes writing his Don Quixote in a miserable prison" - Schopenhauer, Aphorisms: The Wisdom of Life

Offline wotmaniac

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #21 on: February 25, 2012, 10:30:39 AM »
"You meet in a tavern"   :blink

"I want to run 4e"

"I don't care about rules"

"I love critical fumble tables"


Offline Halinn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #22 on: February 25, 2012, 10:49:20 AM »
"Skills can now critically fumble."

Offline ariasderros

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #23 on: February 25, 2012, 11:23:28 AM »
"He casts Irresistible Mage's Disjunction"
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Offline Halinn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #24 on: February 25, 2012, 11:36:34 AM »
"How about we play FATAL?"

Offline Libertad

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #25 on: February 25, 2012, 01:24:40 PM »
"Supernatural fighters are too Anime!"
~DM after reading the Tome of Battle

"Min-maxing is a player problem."
~Guardians of Order's RPG Game Manifesto

"D&D is a roll-playing game!"
~Elitist Vampire fan's explanation for why he's not running a D&D game like he said he would.

"Pathfinder's promoting a far-left agenda!"
~Inexact quote from a gamer at Something Awful's grognards.txt, who objected to an Adventure Path on the basis that it included a homosexual Paladin.

"Homosexuals are usually Chaotic alignment."
~Another quote from the Pathfinder guy, explaining a restriction he utilizes in his home games.

"Female characters get -4 Strength."
~DM who wants "realistic female PCs."

"Min-maxers will be punished ruthlessly!"
~DM in an online game, who thinks that a high Str, low Int Barbarian counts as disruptive min-maxing.

"I model Orcs after [insert real-world ethnic group here]."
~DM who doesn't realize that he's making his players very uncomfortable.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2012, 02:02:12 PM by Libertad »

Offline ariasderros

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #26 on: February 25, 2012, 02:41:28 PM »
"The final boss is Pun-pun."

"The story is all Giovanni." (Toredor would be just as bad)

"new guys are Brazilian Cops" :)

Tonight: "Adventures designed by Gary Gygax" (I will so go Tomb of Horrors on my PC's someday)
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Offline oslecamo

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #27 on: February 25, 2012, 02:59:39 PM »
100% true ones:

"Rogues can only sneak attack with daggers."

"But not with off-hand daggers."

"And cannot flank creatures more than two size bigger than themselves."

"Meet my DMPC party"

Offline SleepyShadow

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #28 on: February 25, 2012, 05:22:35 PM »
"I'm DMing, you buy pizza."

Offline JohnnyMayHymn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #29 on: February 25, 2012, 07:27:54 PM »
"No multiclassing, we'll get confused"

"My girlfriend wants to play"

"My little pony rule-34 campaign"
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Offline RobbyPants

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #30 on: February 25, 2012, 07:30:18 PM »
It's an all elves campaign.

"You meet in a tavern"   :blink

"I want to run 4e"

"I don't care about rules"

"I love critical fumble tables"
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Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #31 on: February 25, 2012, 07:40:28 PM »
"Where are my anti-depressant meds?"

Offline dipolartech

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #32 on: February 25, 2012, 08:12:22 PM »
"Here, hold my beer...."

Offline Halinn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #33 on: February 25, 2012, 08:44:30 PM »
Fighters and Monks are overpowered.

No Psionics. It confuses me.

Offline Libertad

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2012, 10:30:18 PM »
"You'll get to meet Elminster!"
~Worst thing to hear in an FR game for a female PC.

"I love killing your PCs!"

"We're doing no-magic, core only."

"Does a 35 seduce you?"

"The DM is God, agree/disagree?"

"The PCs should be bystanders."
~Defense of bad adventures where all the important stuff is done by NPCs.

Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #35 on: February 25, 2012, 11:54:12 PM »
"You see 12 Ogres.  Naked."

Offline Raven2049

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #36 on: February 26, 2012, 05:29:05 AM »
BoEF is only book allowed.

Offline JohnnyMayHymn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #37 on: February 26, 2012, 11:28:29 AM »
"BoEF, Rule-34, LARP, massage oil"
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Offline Halinn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #38 on: February 26, 2012, 05:10:46 PM »
"You'll get to meet Elminster!"
~Worst thing to hear in an FR game for a female PC.

"You'll meet rule 63 Elminster!"

Offline Libertad

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #39 on: February 26, 2012, 05:51:02 PM »
"You'll meet rule 63 Elminster!"

Actually, meeting Elminster in-game can be frightening regardless of PC gender; bad DMs the world over turn him into God Mode Sue.