Author Topic: Worst 5 words a DM could say  (Read 58869 times)

Offline nijineko

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #380 on: November 02, 2015, 11:08:47 PM »
Let us play Synnabar!

(those who've played it will get the inherent joke in my deliberate use of less than five words)
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Offline zook1shoe

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #381 on: November 13, 2015, 05:39:24 PM »
3d6, in order, no rerolls.

AAAAHHHH I've actually done that.  We were all goblins.  Much dying was had.

That sounds really fun, actually. Make em choose class before the rolls? :-p
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Offline stanprollyright

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #382 on: November 13, 2015, 06:58:34 PM »
It was actually really fun.  Thankfully we chose classes after rolls, but no casters were allowed.  My only positive ability score was charisma, so I convinced him to let me play a Bard1/MarshalX with no spells.  I had 4 str and 5 con.  We did lots of running away, in true goblin fashion.
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Offline faeryn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #383 on: November 15, 2015, 01:51:20 AM »
It was actually really fun.  Thankfully we chose classes after rolls, but no casters were allowed.  My only positive ability score was charisma, so I convinced him to let me play a Bard1/MarshalX with no spells.  I had 4 str and 5 con.  We did lots of running away, in true goblin fashion.

Pleasee tell me one of your party members named their goblin Robin, and (even if none of them did name themselves Robin) you proudly sang "Brave brave Sir Robin, He bravely ran away!"

Offline Fredgerd

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #384 on: November 25, 2015, 11:12:01 PM »
It was actually really fun.  Thankfully we chose classes after rolls, but no casters were allowed.  My only positive ability score was charisma, so I convinced him to let me play a Bard1/MarshalX with no spells.  I had 4 str and 5 con.  We did lots of running away, in true goblin fashion.

Pleasee tell me one of your party members named their goblin Robin, and (even if none of them did name themselves Robin) you proudly sang "Brave brave Sir Robin, He bravely ran away!"

"You're mashed into a pulp"
"Your eyes are gouged out"
"and your elbows are broken"
"You have your kneecaps split"
"and your body burned away."
"Your limbs hacked and mangled."
"and your head's smashed in"
"and your heart's cut out"
"and your liver is removed"
"and your bowels are unplugged"
"and your nostrils get raped"
"and your bottom's burned off"
"and your penis is split"

Offline zook1shoe

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #385 on: November 30, 2015, 11:01:57 PM »
 :lmao
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Offline JohnnyMayHymn

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #386 on: September 02, 2017, 12:02:24 AM »
"Clerics should only be healing."
"Power Attack is too powerful."
"Wizards are like weaker sorcerers."
"All bards just suck, period."

"Roll for nostril circumference... twice."

"everyone, calculate hair growth modifiers"
"everyone, remove one shoe durability"

"guys, I graduated wizard school!"

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"ALL ROADS FOLLOW THE PLOT!"
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Offline Psysama

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #387 on: November 09, 2017, 12:26:17 AM »
"I am so drunk.  Oopsie!"
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Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #388 on: November 11, 2017, 07:13:14 AM »
"I've got this new book..." (Opens BoEF!  :twitch)

Offline skydragonknight

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #389 on: March 06, 2019, 04:24:18 PM »
"I'm restarting the campaign from 10 years ago. Now here is a book with all the changes to my homebrew over the last 10 years. I hope you memorize it."
One cut, one kill.

Offline Nanshork

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #390 on: March 06, 2019, 04:27:32 PM »
"I'm restarting the campaign from 10 years ago. Now here is a book with all the changes to my homebrew over the last 10 years. I hope you memorize it."

 :lmao  :lmao

Too many words.   :p

Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #391 on: March 06, 2019, 04:31:38 PM »
"I'm restarting the campaign from 10 years ago. Now here is a book with all the changes to my homebrew over the last 10 years. I hope you memorize it."

Haha. Also, not something I'd do. I keep the old versions around for a reason. :P

Offline Raineh Daze

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #392 on: March 06, 2019, 05:58:22 PM »
"You left your clothes behind."

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Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #393 on: March 07, 2019, 01:11:51 AM »
"Really?  You're really doing this?"

Offline Raineh Daze

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #394 on: March 07, 2019, 01:20:45 AM »
Come on, that's the best thing a DM could say. It's a good warning.
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #395 on: March 07, 2019, 04:46:59 PM »

aDMg is joining the game ...  :smirk

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Offline bhu

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #396 on: March 17, 2019, 04:43:56 PM »
Come on, that's the best thing a DM could say. It's a good warning.

Yeah but when I use it it's when people say yes and run blindly into their own damnation because they have no clue they're doing something self destructive.

i.e. it's when PC's say things like "There's a five year old in the crowd?  That should be easy pickings, how much xp is she worth?"

Offline phaedrusxy

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #397 on: March 28, 2019, 08:23:10 PM »
Your codpiece is a mimic.
I don't pee messages into the snow often , but when I do , it's in Cyrillic with Fake Viagra.  Stay frosty my friends.

Offline Keldar

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #398 on: March 30, 2019, 09:25:52 PM »
*Unfolds Ravenloft DM screen*

Offline Stratovarius

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Re: Worst 5 words a DM could say
« Reply #399 on: March 30, 2019, 10:56:27 PM »
Here comes an Erotic Fantasy!