Author Topic: Dire Critters  (Read 35902 times)

Offline bhu

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Dire Critters
« on: November 06, 2011, 09:34:47 PM »
Monster List
Catfish God (Page 3)
Chiropterid (Page 1)
Dire Ankylosaur (Page 2)
Dire Arapaima (Page 3)
Dire Armadillo (Page 1)
Dire Beaver (Page 4)
Dire Bunnies (Page 1)
Dire Butterfly (Page 4)
Dire Cachalot Whale (Page 5)
Dire Candiru (Page 3)
Dire Ceratogaulus (Page 5)
Dire Chameleon (Page 1)
Dire Chicken (Page 3)
Dire Cow (Page 3)
Dire Cuttlefish (Page 3)
Dire Dog, Toy Breed (Page 3)
Dire Duck (Page 2)
Dire Echidna (Page 4)
Dire Electric Eel (Page 2)
Dire Elephant (Page 3)
Dire Flamingo (Page 3)
Dire Giraffe (Page 1)
Dire Groundhog (Page 1)
Dire Guinea Pig (Page  1)
Dire Gulper Eel (Page 2)
Dire Hagfish (Page 4)
Dire Hamster (Page 1)
Dire Hare (Page 1)
Dire Ibis (Page 2)
Dire Kangaroo (Page 2)
Dire Keet (Page 3)
Dire Kitty (Page 2)
Dire Komodo Dragon (Page 2)
Dire Lemure (Page 2)
Dire Monkey (Page 1)
Dire Moose (Page 3)
Dire Muntjac Deer (Page 2)
Dire Naked Mole Rat (Page 1)
Dire Namaquan Rain Frog (Page 4)
Dire Okapi and Okapi (Page 2)
Dire Ostrich (Page 2)
Dire Parrot (Page 3)
Dire Pelican (Page 2)
Dire Penguin (Page 2)
Dire Pigeon (Page 3)
Dire Pika (Page 3)
Dire Pirhana (Page 3)
Dire Platypus (Page 4)
Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm (Page 1)
Dire Poison Arrow Frog (Page 1)
Dire Porcupine (Page 1)
Dire Rhea (Page 2)
Dire Rock Wallaby (Page 2)
Dire Rust Monster (Page 3)
Dire Shrew (Page 1)
Dire Spitting Cobra (Page 1)
Dire Squirrel (Page 3)
Dire Stingray (Page 3)
Dire Swan (Page 2)
Dire Tamandua (Page 1)
Dire Thingie Template (Page 1)
Dire Toucan (Page 3)
Dire Tree Kangaroo (Page 1)
Dire Turkey (Page 3)
Dire Vampire Squid (Page 2)
Dire Vole (Page 2)
Dire Whitetail Deer (Page 2)
Dire Wombat (Page 5)
Wombat (Page 5)
« Last Edit: January 30, 2021, 09:39:16 PM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties GUide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2011, 05:18:20 AM »
Dire Monkey
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+6 (19 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+4
Attack:               Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) or Poop +4 ranged (see below) or Branch +4 ranged (1d6)
Full Attack:          1 Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) and 2 Slams -1 melee (1d3+1) or Poop +4 ranged (see below) or Branch +4 ranged (1d6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      We Fling Our Own, Hooting Frenzy
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills:               Balance +10, Climb +11, Hide +3, Listen +3, Spot +3
Feats:               Point Blank Shot, Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B)
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Troupe (10-40)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bert...tell me that ain't poop that just hit the back o' mah head..."

Dire Monkeys are man sized monkeys, with all the prerequisite monkey nastiness you see in zoos multiplied tenfold. 

We Fling Our Own: As a Full Round action a Dire Monkey can poop in it's hand and fling it at an opponent. Considering the grubs, dead things, and god knows what other foulness they eat, this is an excellent defense.  Dire Monkey poop is widely considered to be one of  the most foul substances in the known world, and no one wants it on them. Anyone hit by it must make a DC 13 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 2 rounds (along with screaming" What, Oh Lord, have I done to deserve this??").  Save DC is Constitution based.  In addition, if it isn't washed of within 5 minutes, the smell will remain for 1d6 days giving creatures tracking you by scent a +4 circumstance bonus to their rolls.

Hooting Frenzy: When on the attack Dire Monkeys go totally insane, flinging leaves, dirt, twigs, and god knows what else.  They constantly hop around screaming, waving their arms, urinating freely on opponents.  Which is a nice way of saying they're one hell of a distraction.  If a Dire Monkey is in at least 2 adjoining spaces an opponent must make a DC 11 Willpower Save or be Shaken for the remainder of the encounter.  Save DC is Charisma Based, with a +2 Racial Bonus.

Skills: Dire Monkeys have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Climb Checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb Check.  They may use their Strength or Dexterity Modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Monkeys usually fling poop, or branches if that doesn't drive someone off.  If the opponent still persists they go into a frenzy and charge en masse in an attempt to scare opponents off or beat them senseless otherwise.



Giant Monkeys
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we've apparently joined some sort of nightmarish circus."

See No Evil My Fanny
"Monkeys? Really?"

"I'd take offense, but after dealing with them the last year I agree."

"What are the umbrellas for?"

"They fling their own."

Not Meant To Be Pets

"I know I keep saying it, but never have I been happier to have a forcewall."

"Trust me you'll need it.  They're sneaky.  Even the giant bugs leave them alone.."
« Last Edit: September 17, 2022, 12:41:32 AM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #2 on: November 11, 2011, 08:58:32 PM »
DIRE THINGIE TEMPLATE

Dire Thingie is an Inherited or Acquired Template that can be added to any living creature with an Intelligence of 2 or less that has had it's Size Class increased to two Size Classes bigger (with a minimum Size Class of Small), and it's Hit Dice Advanced to twice it's normal amount (with a set minimum based on Size). The minimum Hit Dice based on Base Creatures new Size is Small = 3 HD, Medium = 4 HD, Large = 8 HD, Huge = 12 HD, Gargantuan = 20 HD, Colossal = 36 HD. For example if applied to a Porpoise (which is normally 2 Hit Dice) the Porpoise becomes 4 Hit Dice. If applied to a Rat (which is less than 1 Hit Die) it becomes 3 Hit Dice. Recalculate BAB, Saves, Skills, Stats, Armor Class, Feats, Damage, and Save DC's of special attacks due to new Hit Dice and Size. Recalculate CR (See MM page 294 for suggestions), and then apply this template.

Size and Type: Type does not change.

Hit Dice: Unchanged.

Speed: If the creature is Large or larger it's Base Land Speed (if it has one) increases to 40 feet. Otherwise speed remains unchanged.

Armor Class:The Base Creatures Natural Armor Bonus is 1.5 times greater (round down). For example if the Base Creature had a +4 Natural Armor bonus, it now has a +6. If the base creature has heavy natural armor (i.e. a turtle or armadillo shell for example) it doubles instead. There is a minimum Natural AC Bonus based on Size: Small=+3, Medium=+4, Large=+5, Huge=+6, Gargantuan=+7, and Colossal=+8.

Attacks: Unchanged.

Damage: Unchanged.

Special Attacks: Retains all Special Attacks of Base Creature. Range or Area of Effect is 1.5 times bigger (for example if the Base Creature has a Breath Weapon that's a 30' Cone, it's now a 45' Cone).

Special Qualities: Retains all Special Qualities of Base Creature.

Saves: Unchanged.

Abilities: +2 Str, +2 Dex, +2 Con, +4 Cha.

Skills: Unchanged.

Feats: The Base Creature gains Improved Toughness as a Bonus Feat.

Environment: Unchanged

Organization: Usually Solitary

Challenge Rating: +1

Treasure: Unchanged

Alignment: Unchanged

Advancement: Up to double it's base Hit Dice. If that puts it past the minimum for the next size class, it goes up too. For example if the Base Creature is 8 HD, it can go up to 16 HD. It would be 9-11 (Large), 12-16 (Huge).

Level Adjustment: +1

Example of creature using template here:

Dire Lemure
Huge Outsider (Baatezu, Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful)
Hit Dice: 12d8+72 (126 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +13 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+29
Attack: Claw +19 melee (1d8+9)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +19 melee (1d8+9)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/Good or Silver, Dark Vision 60', Immunity ot Fire and Poison, Mindless, See in Darkness
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +7, Will +8
Abilities:[/B] Str 28, Dex 8, Con 20, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 9
Skills: -
Feats: Improved Toughness (B)
Environment: Nine Hells of Baator
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Lawful Evil
Advancement: 13-19 HD (Huge), 20-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---


Dire Dire Badger
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 12d8+111 (165 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares), burrow 10 ft.
Armor Class: 22 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+28
Attack: Claw +18 melee (1d8+11)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +18 melee (1d8+11) and 1 Bite +13 melee (2d6+5)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Rage
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +16, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities: Str 32, Dex 15, Con 27, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 14
Skills: Listen +10, Spot +11
Feats: Improved Toughness (B), Track (B), Alertness, Toughness, Power Attack, Cleave
Environment: Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 13-19 HD (Huge), 20-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---

Dire Frost Worm
Colossal Magical Beast (Cold)
Hit Dice: 36d8+504 (666 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares), burrow 10 ft.
Armor Class: 30 (-8 Size, +28 Natural), touch 2, flat-footed 38
Base Attack/Grapple: +36/+69
Attack: Bite +45 melee (4d6+25/19-20 plus 1d8 cold)
Full Attack: Bite +45 melee (4d6+25/19-20 plus 1d8 cold)
Space/Reach: 30 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks: Trill, Cold, Breath Weapon
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60', Death Throes, Immunity to Cold, Low Light Vision, Vulnerability to Fire
Saves: Fort +20, Ref +20, Will +14
Abilities: Str 44, Dex 10, Con 36, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills: Hide +3, Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Improved Toughness (B), Ability Focus (Trill, Breath Weapon), Alertness, Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Bite), Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Power Attack, Power Critical (Bite), Weapon Focus (Bite)
Environment: Cold Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 37-72 HD (Collosal)
Level Adjustment: ---

Trill (Su): 200' area, Will Save DC 32

Breath Weapon (Su): 60' Cone, Reflex Save DC 36

Death Throes (Su): 100' area, Reflex Save DC 34

Offline bhu

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2011, 09:04:17 PM »
Chiropterid
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             18d8+144 (225 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+31
Attack:               Claw +21 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +21 melee (2d6+10) and 1 Bite +16 melee (3d6+5)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Sonic Pulse, Swat
Special Qualities:    Blindsight 240 ft., Scent, Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +20, Ref +10, Will +8
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 9, Con 25, Int 2, Wis 15, Cha 10
Skills:                Listen +12, Search +5, Spot +7, Survival +7
Feats:                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Toughness, Power Attack, Track
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     11
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          19-36 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"As you look up from the jungle floor to the walls of the cliffsides above, you see soemthing stirring in the giant caves running down their lengths.  Emerging from them are enormous wingless bat creatures.  The Chiropterids are awake for their nightly hunt."

The great Druidess Devi Hyooman had tired of the endless swarms of gigantic mosquitoes infesting the rain forest she lived in.  The Dire Bats she had asked for help were too big to maneuver through the trees to catch them.  So she began a very selective breeding program over the years.  Eventually the Dire Bats became so big they lost the power of flight, their forelimbs now long front legs on their semi-erect quadrupedal forms.  They were massively barrel chested, and their sonar apparatus much more powerful, able to stun the mosquitoes long enough to be swatted from the air.  Even after she has passed on they continue living in the cliffs overlooking their jungle homes.

Sonic Pulse (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Chiropterid may unleash a nasty pulse of sound at it's opponents (usually giant mosquitoes) once every 1d4 rounds.  This has the effect of an 80 ft. Cone, and anything in the area must make a DC 26 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), or be Stunned for 1 round.  If the save is successful, it is still Dazed for 1 round.

Swat (Ex): If the Chiropterid successfully Stuns an opponent with it's Sonic Pulse it may make one Claw Attack as a Swift action.  This attack may use the Awesome Blow Feat without taking the -4 penalty to hit.  Flying opponents within reach are knocked from the sky if hit successfully.

Skills: Chiropterids have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search checks.

Combat: Chiropterids usually open up with their Pulse and begin swatting until there's nothing left to fight, or they aren't hungry anymore.



Chiropterid
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I are taking a look at the Chiropterids. former cryptid, now officially local fauna!"

Skeeter Eaters

"I can't believe these used to be common Giant Bats."

"I wouldn't get to close Jim..."

"It's okay Harlan, I think they know I'm a Ranger.  See? It just wants chin scritches."


Scary Pets

*sounds of concussive force distribution*

"Wow, it does not pay to be close when they do that..."

"Are you okay Jim?"

"Yeah, I think it just saw a bug."
« Last Edit: November 17, 2022, 12:18:53 AM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2011, 09:05:36 PM »
Dire Armadillo
                      Gargantuan Animal
Hit Dice:             36d8+324 (486 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          35 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +30 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 35
Base Attack/Grapple:  +27/+41
Attack:               Claw +36 melee (4d6+12/19-20)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +36 melee (4d6+12/19-20)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:     Sticky Tongue
Special Qualities:   Scent, Low Light Vision, Rollup, Damage Reduction 10/-
Saves:                Fort +34, Ref +19, Will +14
Abilities:            Str 35, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Climb +20, Listen +10, Search +5, Spot +10, Survival +9
Feats:                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Devastating Critical (Claws), Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claws), Improved Toughness, Overwhelming Critical (Claws), Power Attack, Power Critical, Weapon Focus (Claws)
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary, Pair
Challenge Rating:    20
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          37-54 HD (Gargantuan), 55-72 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bob...Bob that's not a hill..."

Dire Armadillos are armored tanks the size of small houses that feed on giant ants.  They pretty much ignore everything else, but they are skittish, and spooking them isn't wise.  They let out a sound like steam escaping and pound everything in the area to dust if frightened.

Sticky Tongue (Ex): This is a Melee Touch Attack with a Range of 15 feet.  If used on an opponent at least 3 Size classes smaller than the Armadillo (and it hits successfully) the Armadillo immediately gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful, it may reel that opponent in the next round, and Swallow him the round after if the Grapple is maintained.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Dire Armadillo may Swallow any creature 3 sizes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple check.  The Swallowed Creature takes 3d6+12 points of bludgeoning damage and 12 points of acid damage each round it is inside the Dire Armadillo's stomach.  A swallowed creature may cut it's way out by doing 35 points of damage to the stomach (AC 25) with a light slashing or piercing weapon.  Once it exits muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

Rollup (Ex): As a standard action a Dire Armadillo can rollup.  It is immobile in this form and can take no action, but it gains a +5 Circumstance Bonus to AC and Fortitude Saves.  In addition it is immune to Swarm damage in this form, and it may substitute it's Fortitude Save for it's Reflex Save when attacked by Area of Effect spells, abilities, or effects.

Combat: Dire Armadillo's are more interested in food than fighting, but they spook easily.  Anything surprising them provokes an assault, as well as anything stupid enough to run at it with a sword (and you'd be surprised how many people do it). 



Giant Armadillo
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at brute excess."

Surprisingly Strong Sense of Smell
"What was the idea behind this?"

"To take care of the ant problem."

"Didn't you make the Echidnas for that?"

"Well...yes.  But the ant problem got 'bigger' than they could deal with"

Very Playful For Armored Tanks

"How big?"

"Well, he hasn't run out of food..."
« Last Edit: September 17, 2022, 12:52:21 AM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #5 on: November 11, 2011, 09:06:32 PM »
Dire Tree Kangaroo
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+10 (32 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Size, +4 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+11
Attack:               Claw +6 melee (1d4+4)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +6 melee (1d4+4)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Pounce from Above!
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Tree Travel, Scent
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 18, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Balance +13, Climb +14, Hide +2, Jump +25, Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Spot +5
Feats:                Alertness, Stealthy
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---

"GIT IT OFF MEEEEEEE...aww it's all cute and fuzzy like...BUT ITS EVIL!! GITITOFFMEEEEEEE"

Dire Tree Kangaroos are fuzzy marsupial critters almost the size of tigers, with a sense of humor (they enjoy pouncing on people from out of trees).  They are otherwise fairly adorable.

Pounce from Above (Ex): When leaping from a tree onto an opponent below the Dire Tree Kangaroo is considered to be doing a Charge Attack and does +2d6 damage as it lands on the opponent.  Both the Kangaroo and the opponent end the round Prone.

Tree Travel (Ex): Dire Tree Kangaroos may move through the trees quicker than they can on the ground.  A Dire Tree Kangaroo may move at 40 ft. while leaping through the trees.

Skills: The Dire Tree Kangaroo has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Balance checks, and a +20 Racial Bonus to Jump checks.

Combat: Dire Tree Kangaroos generally aren't all that offensive, but they are sometimes a bit territorial.  Hence they tend to drop from the sky on unsuspecting adventurers every so often.



Giant Tree Kangaroo
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at adorable zoo animals."

Slow On The Ground
"Harlan, it's huge.  And I don't like the twinkle in it's eye."

"We have had issues with them pouncing on people, but they're just playing mostly.."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Well...yes."

They Spend Most Of Their Life In Trees

"So it can be dangerous?"

"No! No they're folivores.  Perfectly harmless."
« Last Edit: August 21, 2022, 06:13:14 PM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #6 on: November 11, 2011, 09:06:50 PM »
Dire Tamandua
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             4d8+12 (30 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+7
Attack:               Claw +7 melee (2d4+4)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +7 melee (2d4+4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Musk
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +12, Listen +2, Search +5
Feats:                Blind-Fight, Skill Focus (Search)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          5-8 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Uuuh...Burt...there's a uh...there's a weird critter thingie in the tree starin' at us.."

Dire Tamandua's are large tree climbing anteaters.  Fairly inoffensive, their claws are still quite nasty if they are frightened.  If pressed they spray a foul smelling musk they use to mark territory that is said to be 4 times as powerful as a skunks.

Musk (Ex): Once per round and no more than three times per day, a Dire Tamandua can emit a horrific smell to a range of a 160 feet radius from itself. A creature in the area must make a successful Fortitude save (DC 17) or be nauseated for 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based and includes a +2 racial bonus. A delay poison or neutralize poison spell removes the effects from a nauseated creature.

Creatures with immunity to poison are unaffected by the nauseating effects of Tamandua musk. Additionally, the target suffers a -10 circumstance penalty to Hide checks while wearing clothes or armor contaminated with Tamandua musk. The creature also suffers a -4 circumstance penalty to all Charisma-based skill checks while wearing contaminated clothes or carrying contaminated gear.

Flesh, leather goods, metal goods (weapons, armor, and the like) must be washed in a concentrated mixture of vinegar over a period of three days in order to fully remove the stench of Tamandua musk. The prestidigitation spell cannot clean items stained by Tamandua musk.  Tamandua's are immune to Tamandua musk.

Skills: Tamandua have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Dire Tamandua's tend to flail at opponents with their claws in the hopes they will run away.  They're too slow to run away themselves.



Giant Tamandua
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching the total disintegration of a local industry."

Even Skunks Don't Compare
"What are those critters over there for?"

"They were our answer to the ant problem befoe the Echidnas.."

"Sweet Jebus, what is that smell?"

"The reason we switched to Echidnas."

That Pose Doesn't Mean It Wants a Hug

"They spray like skunks, and you didn't know this before hand?"

"In my defense they were too busy brutally murdering people to demonstrate their musk."
« Last Edit: September 17, 2022, 12:59:43 AM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #7 on: November 11, 2011, 09:07:13 PM »
Dire Poison Arrow Frog
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+1 Size, +3 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-6
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack:          Bite +3 melee (1d3-2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Toxic Skin
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 7, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Climb +11, Jump +11, Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +9
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          -
Level Adjustment:     ---

"BURT!! DON'T TOUCH THAT FROG!!"

Dire Poison Arrow Frogs are about the size of baboons. 

Toxic Skin (Ex): The toxins in the Dire Poison Arrow Frogs skin are incredibly poisonous.  Anything touching it with bare skin, grappling, or attacking with an unarmed strike or natural weapon risks being poisoned (Contact, Fortitude Save DC 16, Initial and Secondary Damage 3d6 Constitution).  Save DC is Con based, the Frog has a +6 Racial Bonus to the Save DC.  Anything stupid enough to swallow one whole must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based, the Frog has a +6 Racial Bonus to the Save DC) or violently retch it back up next round taking 1d6 damage in the process.]

Skills: Dire Poison Arrow Frogs have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb, Jump, and Swim checks.  They may always take 10 on a climb or swim check even if rushed or endangered.  They may use their Dexterity or Strength Bonus for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Poison Arrow Frogs rarely initiate combat.  They rely on their markings to warn predators of their nature.




Giant Poison Arrow Frog
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we finally leave behind the arthropods."

Bright Colors Are Bad
"You, uh...you know how dangerous these things are right?"

"We do, but they're only toxic in nature, not captivity.  We think it's something they eat."

"So you aren't raising them as poison factories?"

"I can neither confirm , nor deny that."

Toxic To An Extreme
"So what is it hey eat that makes them toxic?"

"Don't know.  Honestly speaking, we've never seen them eat..."
« Last Edit: September 05, 2022, 06:34:17 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2011, 09:07:31 PM »
Dire Chameleon
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (38 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          13 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+11
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with Tongue)
Special Attacks:      Tongue, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Camouflage, Hide in Plain Sight, Wide Angle Vision
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 8, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +12, Hide +11, Search +2, Spot +7
Feats:                Point Blank Shot, Weapon Focus (Tongue)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bawb...Bawb thet bush is lookin' at me...lookin' at me with big google eyes..."

Dire Chameleons are the size of small alligators.  They are kept as pet guard animals, usually by those who are child free.  There have been...incidents.

Tongue: The Dire Chameleon has a very sticky tongue, and if it successfully a ranged touch attack with it, the Chameleon can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  If the Grapple Check is successful it may make a Grapple Check to "reel in" the opponent the next round, and it begins doing bite damage the next round after that (if the opponent is too big to swallow) or uses it's Swallow Whole ability.

Swallow Whole: The Chameleon may Swallow any creature up to 2 Size Classes Smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check.  The swallowed creature takes 1d8+4 in bludgeoning damage each round and 4 points of acid damage as well. A swallowed creature may attack the gizzard (AC 12), and doing 15 points of damage with a light slashing or piercing weapon. Muscular action immediately closes the hole, and other swallowed creatures must cut their own way out. The gizzard can hold 2 Small, 8 Tiny, 32 Diminutive, or 128 Fine Opponents.

Camouflage: Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

Hide in Plain Sight: Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

Wide Angle Vision: Dire Chameleons cannot be Flanked, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Spot checks.

Skills: The Dire Chameleon has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and a +12 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.  They may always Take 10

Combat:  Dire Chameleons generally Hide, and use their Tongue once a small prey creature gets close, or bites if something larger gets nearby.  If ambush tactics fail, it will try to remain hidden until the opponent leaves.



Giant Chameleon
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll continue to be shocked and appalled.."

When Did You Get A Lizard Sta-AAAIGH!
"Who wants a giant ambush predator as a pet?"

"Hey, don't knock it till you have a giant bug infestation."

"Fair enough.  How are they with children?"

"Children?"

I've Often Thought Children Look Like Bugs

"You know.  Persons who aren't yet adults."

"Dammit Jim, I know what children are.  Whose gonna want kids around these things anyway?"

"Kind of the point we're trying to make."
« Last Edit: July 24, 2022, 06:31:49 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2011, 09:07:59 PM »
Dire Naked Mole Rat, Worker
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+3
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack:          Bite +3 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft., Blindsense 30 ft., Acid Resistance 3
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +3, Search +3
Feats:                Endurance
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Colony (25-50)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---



Dire Naked Mole Rat, Soldier
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+12 (25 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Dex, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+5
Attack:               Bite +5 melee (1d6+4)
Full Attack:          Bite +5 melee (1d6+4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab
Special Qualities:    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60 ft., Blindsense 30 ft., Acid Resistance 3
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 17, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +4, Search +3
Feats:                ENdurance, Improved Toughness
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Guard (10-25)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-5 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---


Dire Naked Mole Rat, Queen
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+25 (47 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+12
Attack:               Bite +7 melee (2d4+7)
Full Attack:          Bite +7 melee (2d4+7)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab
Special Qualities:    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 90 ft., Blindsense 60 ft., Acid Resistance 5
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +6, Search +4
Feats:                Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, plus 5 Soldiers and 10 Workers
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Burt...Burt I think we got moles...big moles...maybe mutants..."

Dire Naked Mole Rats are similar to their smaller cousins, and just as disturbing.  Read up on them online.  It's nightmare fuel.

Improved Grab (Ex): Naked Mole Rat Soldiers and Queens may make a Grapple Check against a creature their own Size Class or Smaller without provoking an attack of opportunity.  They may use their Bite during a Grapple.

Blind (Ex): Naked Mole Rats are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Painless (Ex): Naked Mole Rats cannot feel pain as well as other creatures.  They are immune to subdual damage or penalties based solely on pain (i.e. spells like Wrack, Symbol of Pain, etc).

Survival Adaptations (Ex): Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves made against disease, starvation, dehydration, or suffocation.

Blindsense (Ex): Naked Mole Rats are extremely aware of changes in the air pressure in their confining burrows.  As long as they are within their tunnel system they effectively have Blindsight.

Skills (Ex): Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on Search checks.

Combat: Naked Mole Rats are extremely xenophobic, killing anything entering their burrows, even mole rats from other groups.  They swarm en masse and bite away or try to block the tunnel by filling it with dirt.







Giant Naked Mole Rat
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be witnessing an abomination before man and Gawd."

Nightmare Fuel
"This is...a new level of disturbing."

"They're efficient, they don't tolerate intruders and they have no mercy.  They're great minions."

"Are they loyal though?"

"Control the Queen, and you control the rest."

The More You Know The Worse It Gets

"Isn't that a bit of a design flaw?"

"...crap..."


« Last Edit: July 31, 2022, 07:07:24 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2011, 09:08:23 PM »
Dire Spitting Cobra
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             9d8+45 (85 hp)
Initiative:           +6
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+21
Attack:               Bite +11 melee (1d8+10 plus poison) or Spit +6 ranged touch (Blindness)
Full Attack:          Bite +11 melee (1d8+10 plus poison) or Spit +6 ranged touch (Blindness)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spit Venom, Poison
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills:               Balance +12, Climb +17, Hide +2, Listen +8, Spot +8, Swim +15
Feats:                Ability Focus (Poison, Spit Venom), Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes
Environment:          Warm Forest or Underground
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:    7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          10-18 HD (Huge), 19-36 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Honey!! Honey git the wand!  Them snakes is back a' spittin' on the cows agin!"

Dire Spitting Cobras are an unfortunate problem in jungles about the world.  Their ability to permanently blind opponents with their venom makes them much worse opponents than the average giant snake.

Spit Venom (Ex): If the Dire Spitting Cobra can hit with a ranged touch attack, it's opponent must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or be permanently blinded.  If the Cobra succeeds in making a critical hit some of the venom seeps into the victims bloodstream (Contact, Fortitude Save DC 21, Initial and Secondary damage 1d6 Constitution).  Range is 30 feet.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 21, Initial and Secondary Damage 2d6 Constitution.  Save DC is Constitution based.

Skills: Dire Spitting Cobras have a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide, Listen and Spot checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb and Swim checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check, and may use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.  They may use their Dexterity or Strength Modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Spitting Cobras usually blind opponents with venom before moving in for the bite.  Usually the poison is enough to finish off most opponents.



Giant Spitting Cobra
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we're betting Jim thanks the Gawds for that cube of force."

They Spit Defensively
"Indeed I do Harlan."

"After all I've seen on you program, I'm amazed you two are such worry-warts."

"Maybe we've had enough things go wrong to keep certain possibilities within mind..."

"It's just a cobra!"

The Spit Is Usually Only Bad If It Hits The Face
"It's a giant cobra with range capable venom."

"You act like it's killed more than seven people..."

"That was distressingly specific..."
« Last Edit: September 05, 2022, 06:43:25 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2011, 09:08:41 PM »
Dire Porcupine
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             8d8+40 (76 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+17
Attack:               Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
Full Attack:          Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Quill Slam
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Quill Defense
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 13, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:                Climb +16, Listen +6, Spot +6
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Desert, Forest, Hills, and Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Aw man...Burt I don't think we can save yer dawg now..."

"Hell we won't!  This is whut we keep that Preacher on retainer for!"

Dire Porcupines are pests with an insatiable desire for munching salt.  They'll even strip paint from buildings to get it.  They shed their deadly quills every where, and some have wiped out herds as all the bulls charge them and die after getting stuck.  Farmers and hunters hate them.  But they're huge, good climbers, and about as powerful as a bear.  A pointy bear.  A pointy bear who likes to lick paint.

Quill Slam (Ex): Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage (see below).

Quill Defense (Ex): Anyone striking the Porcupine with an unarmed strike, a natural weapon, or (god forbid you're this stupid) grappling one becomes impaled on it's quills taking piercing damage equal to 1d6 plus the attackers Strength bonus.  For each point of damage taken, 1 quill is embedded in the opponent.  If the opponent is using melee weapons that don't have Reach he must make a DC 18 Reflex Save to avoid the quills (Save DC is Constitution based).  Any round the character spends doing something strenuous (climbing, swimming, running, fighting, etc) they work their way in further causing the opponent to take a -2 penalty to all rolls until 1d6 rounds after he stops doing strenuous activity.  If he spends more than 5 rounds performing strenuous activity he takes 1d6 damage.  Quills can be removed several ways.  They can be yanked out, doing 1 point of damage per quill.  Or they can be removed by a DC 15 Healing check per quill to remove them without doing damage.  If the quills aren't removed within a day, infection may set in and they must daily make Fortitude checks to avoid contacting the Red Ache (See DMG page 292).  Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage.

Skills: Porcupines get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Porcupines usually just raise their quills and once an opponent has attacked them they usually decide not to do so again.  If he is stupid enough to try it again the Dire Porcupine will grapple trying to lodge as many quills in the opponent as possible.



Giant Porcupine
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at he craziest idea we've seen yet."

This Is How Nature Says Do Not Touch
"What exactly are these for?"

"They're salt deficient, and will do anything for more.  In the process they take out your targets defensive personnel as well."

"You realize how dangerous these things are right?"

"Pfft.  Everyone knows what they're in for when they're part of a wizard farm."

Requires Extra Careful Hugs

"Well they certainly do now."

"Your viewers need to educate themselves more on the ways of the world."

"Oh, they're definitely getting one right now..."
« Last Edit: July 31, 2022, 07:06:14 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2011, 09:09:08 PM »
Dire Shrew
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative:           +8
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-2
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent, Hyper Metabolism, Ferocity, Fearless
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +10, Hide +6, Listen +6, Move Silently +4, Search +2, Spot +3, Swim +10, Survival +2
Feats:                 Improved Initiative, Track (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic or Underground
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"RUN! It's a big squeaky thang!!"

Dire Shrews are ravenous pests that infest virtually every environment in the known world.  Since they need to eat their own weight in food each day, they're are considered a prime target for farmers whose stock they tend to raid.  Few critters are as damaging to the environment as the Dire Shrew.

Poison (Ex): Injury, DC 13 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial Damage is 1d6 Constitution, Secondary damage is Paralysis.

Hyper Metabolism (Ex): Dire Shrews have a -2 Racial Penalty made on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation, and must begin making rolls after 12 hours if it has not eaten.  But it has a Racial Bonus to attack, damage, and initiative rolls equal to it's Constitution Modifier (this is included in the statblock).. 

Ferocity (Ex): The Dire Shrew may fight and act normally from -1 to -9 hit points.

Fearless (Ex): Dire Shrews are immune to Fear effects.

Skills: Shrews have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search Checks.

Combat: Shrews charge and begin biting furiously, trusting in their venom to bring down prey.  They are almost fearless, and will attack even creatures bigger than  themselves.



Giant Shrew
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, I welcome a horrifying distraction."

The Smallest Of Horrors
"Shrews?  You really used shrews?"

"Attention all employees!  Attention all employees! The Shrews are loose! I repeat, the Shrews are loose!"

"How could you do this?  The number one rule of minion creation is Never Use Shrews!"

"Look mistakes were made.  Can we discuss this elsewhere?"

Voracious Eating Machines

"Where would you suggest?"

"The aquarium.  We can continue our tour of the sabotage division there."

« Last Edit: August 07, 2022, 07:10:21 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2011, 09:09:25 PM »
Dire Groundhog
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             8d8+32 (68 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 20 ft., Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+17
Attack:      Claw +12 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +12 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +15, Listen +9, Spot +10, Swim +15
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Multiattack
Environment:          Underground or Temperate Plains or Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"

"Bob...bears don't burrow."

"IT SQUEAKED AT ME!!"

"Bob...bears don't squeak."

"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"


Groundhogs are, oddly enough, related to ground squirrels, and accomplished climbers and swimmers.  Which makes Dire Groundhogs an all terrain butt-kicking machine...

Skills: Dire Groundhogs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

Combat: Dire Groundhogs prefer not to fight, but lash out wildly with their teeth and claws if someone presses the issue.



Giant Groundhog
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will continue to ponder Farmer John's obsession with burrowing mammals."

A Gardeners BBEG
"It almost looks like it's daring us to stop it eating the vegetables."

"The Groundhogs are unusually spunky."

"Perhaps a little too brave for their own good?"

"Aren't we all?"

A Critter Of Many Names

"How do you market Groundhogs?  People hate Groundhogs."

"Marketing calls them different names.  We also call them chuck, wood-shock, groundpig, whistlepig, whistler, thickwood badger, monax, moonack, weenusk, red monk, land beaver, and thickwood badger.  Whatever works."
« Last Edit: August 07, 2022, 06:32:59 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2011, 09:10:48 PM »
 Dire Bunnies
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+18 (45 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+11
Attack:               Claw +6 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+3) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rake (1d6+3)
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Magic Tinkering, Scent, Scamper
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills:               Jump +11, Listen +13, Spot +8
Feats:                Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run
Environment:          Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Group (4-8), Colony (Several thousand)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-9 HD (Large), 10-18 HD (Huge), 19-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37+ HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Mommie I found a bunny can I keep 'im."

"HOLY SHIT!!!"

"Mommie you always told me I wasn't 'sposed to use that word..."


Rumor has it that Dire Bunnies began as either a drunken joke, or the result of a mad farming mage who wanted a bigger food source.  If so the joke was on him.  A diet of pure rabbit meat can lead to a condition known as "rabbit starvation", and they mindlessly reproduce much quicker than sheep or cattle.  Some are extwa fwuffy though, so their fur is quite prized.  they aren't as good at burrowing as their regular sized cousins, but they can still scamper quite fast.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Dire Rabbit hits with it's Claw Attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Rake.

Rakes (Ex): In a Grapple the Dire Rabbit has 2 Rake Attacks +6 to hit doing 1d6+3 damage.

Immune to Nausea (Ex): Due to their odd digestive system, rabbits cannot vomit, and so are immune to being Sickened/Nauseated.

Magic Tinkering (Ex): Unlike most Dire Animals, Dire Rabbits come about as a result of magic used to increase their potential (much like Magebred horses in Eberron).  Unfortunately it went awry, and instead Dire Rabbits continue to grow with age.  Maximum size and age are currently unknown.

Scamper (Ex): If it wishes to flee a Dire Rabbit can temporarily increase it's Land Speed to 80 ft for (3+Constitution Modifier) rounds.  Once it Scampers it is Fatigued and may not scamper again until it has rested.

Skills: Dire Rabbits have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen checks.

Combat: Bunnies are much like cats in that they prefer to grab hold and rake.





Elder Dire Bunnies
                      Super Deluxe Extra Biggie Sized "Hep Me Jebus" Animal
Hit Dice:             100d8+1500 (1950 hp)
Initiative:           +8
Speed:                70 ft. (14 squares)
Armor Class:          34 (-16 Size, +40 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 34
Base Attack/Grapple:  +75/+115
Attack:               Claw +85 melee (8d6+20/19-20)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +85 melee (8d6+20/19-20) and 1 Bite +85 melee (8d6+10/19-20)
Space/Reach:          100 ft./65 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rake (8d6+20)
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Magic Tinkering, Scent, Scamper, Invulnerability 20/-
Saves:                Fort +67, Ref +52, Will +39
Abilities:            Str 50, Dex 10, Con 40, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 40
Skills:               Jump +40, Listen +40, Search +19, Spot +40
Feats:                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Daunting Presence (Lords of Madness), Defensive Sweep (PHB2), Devastating Critical (Bite, Claw, Epic), Dire Charge (Epic), Endurance, Epic Endurance, Epic Prowess x5, Epic Will, Fleet of Foot (Complete Warrior), Great Cleave, Hear the Unseen (Complete Adventurer), Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claw, Bite), Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack, Overwhelming Assault (PHB2), Overwhelming Critical (Bite, Claw, Epic), Power Attack, Run, Superior Initiative (Epic), Weapon Focus (Claw, Bite)  1 more
Environment:          Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     37
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          101+ HD (Big)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Lookit it...just standin' aout there...wigglin' it's nose...it's EVIL I tells ya!"

" Bob...it's a rabbit...they all do that."

It'll be a'comin' fer our alfalfa fields...Ah knows it...Ah'm psychic that way..."

" Bob...rabbits eat alfalfa."

"Guess it's up to me to stop it!!"

10 minutes later:

"Dude...what the hell is Bob doing?  Is he attacking a 300 foot tall rabbit with a hoe?"

"Yeah.  Good thing the rabbit hasn't even noticed him.  Oh wait I think it just sniffed him..."

BOOM

"Well...guess we won't have to bail Bob out of jail anymore..."

Some Dire Rabbits get old enough to become truly gigantic.  Many an adventurer have been goaded into attacking one to avoid being called a chicken.  Not many of them survive the dare.  Those who do have one really lucky rabbits foot necklace (which requires some sort of magical levitation device to tow around).

Invulnerability (Ex): Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities.  For example the Elder Dire Bunny has Invulnerability 20.  That means it negates the first 20 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

Combat: Dire Elder Bunnies rarely need to attack.  They're less an opponent than a mobile aspect of nature.







Giant Bunnies
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the pets Farmer John has for sale."

More Dangerous Than They Appear
"Rabbits?  You made Giant Rabbits?  Aren't the regular ones big enough pest now?"

"Bunnies are surprisingly loyal to owners who treat them well.  They've successfully defended many a peasant froom wolves or coyotes."

"Are there any difficulties with them?"

"There is a kink we haven't quite worked out..."

OH CRAP

"What might that be?"

"They grow bigger with age.  But it's not like they're immortal.  What's the worst that could happen"
« Last Edit: July 10, 2022, 05:14:48 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #15 on: November 11, 2011, 09:11:33 PM »
Dire Hare
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             8d8+36 (72 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                60 ft. (12 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+15
Attack:               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rake (1d8+5)
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Scent, Scamper
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 16, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills:               Jump +13, Listen +14, Spot +9
Feats:                Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run
Environment:          Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Pair
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"PAW! PAW! Them hares is in the crops agin! Can we have Jugged Hare for dinner tonight if'n we get one?"

"They don't make jugs that big junior."


Dire Hares were an experiment in making crop animals, and an attempt to improve on the failed Dire Rabbit scheme.  They never do learn lessons well them wizards...  The Hares are faster, more aggressive, and reproduce quicker.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Dire Hare hits with it's Claw Attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Rake.

Rakes (Ex): In a Grapple the Dire Hare has 2 Rake Attacks +6 to hit doing 1d6+3 damage.

Immune to Nausea (Ex): Due to their odd digestive system, Hares cannot vomit, and so are immune to Nausea.

Scamper (Ex): If it wishes to flee a Dire Hare can temporarily increase it's Land Speed to 90 ft for (3+Constitution Modifier) rounds.  Once it Scampers it is Fatigued and may not scamper again until it has rested.

Skills: Dire Hares have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen checks.

Combat: Bunnies are much like cats in that they prefer to grab hold and rake.




Giant Hares
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will continue to ponder the unique Hell that is magic rabbits."

Wizards Never Learn
"Are these pets or farm livestock?"

"Why not both?"

"Did you learn nothing from the bunnies?"

"We did indeed.   These don't have unchecked growth issues."

Run Rabbit, Run

"So whats the issue with them?"

"Nervousness.  They run like hell if you so much as break wind.  So you constantly have to round them up."
« Last Edit: July 24, 2022, 06:40:19 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #16 on: November 11, 2011, 09:12:03 PM »
Dire Hamster
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 15 ft.
Armor Class:          13 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-5
Attack:               Nibble +1 melee (1d3-1)
Full Attack:          Nibble +1 melee (1d3-1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Wrasslin'
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Rubber Spine
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +3, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 8, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 8
Skills:               Climb +9, Escape Artist +9, Hide +5, Listen +6, Search +1, Spot +2
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Warm or Temperate except Aquatic or Marsh
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-50)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Where the hell is that halfling with our dinner? Check the kitchen Bert."

10 minutes later

He's wrasslin' a 40 pound hamster over a carrot Bob."

"Friggin' hamsters...HEY JIMMY!! QUIT MESSIN' AROUND AND MAKE SOME FOOD ALREADY!"

Dire Hamsters are dangerous, just not in the traditional sense.  They aren't particularly powerful, but they breed quick, they always seem hungry, and a colony of them can wipe out a farm community pretty quick.

Wrasslin' (Ex) Hamsters love to wrestle over food or mates.  They may attempt a Grapple check without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Rubber Spine (Ex): Hamsters subtract 10 feet from the distance of any fall before figuring up falling damage.

Skills (Ex): Hamsters have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search checks.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb and Escape Artist checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  They may use their Strength or Dexterity Modifier for Climb Checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Hamsters will grapple opponents their own size or smaller, but generally flee other opponents unless their pups are threatened.



Giant Hamsters
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be looking at the pets Farmer Johns...Giant...Hamters."

Everything Is Potentially a Nom
"Surely these would be voracious devourers of grain were they to get loose in the wild?"

"We don't intend for that to happen."

"Famous last words for many a mage."

"Good sir, I have the backing of shrewd investors.  They know a safe bet when they see it."

I'll Wrassle You Fer That Carrot

"Why is that one staring us down?"

"Well, some of them are kind of territorial..."
« Last Edit: July 10, 2022, 05:21:18 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2011, 09:12:23 PM »
Dire Guinea Pig
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8 (9 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 10 ft., Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class:          13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+1
Attack:               Nibble +2 melee (1d4)
Full Attack:          Nibble +2 melee (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 11, Dex 12, Con 11, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills:               Hide +2, Jump +2,  Listen +8, Spot +2, Swim +8
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-50)
Challenge Rating:     1/6
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Why is the ground rumbling?  What the hell is that squeaking noise?"

Dire Guinea Pigs are either the pets of odder than usual Giants, or livestock animals for smaller humanoid races who have been brave enough to steal them from Giants and raise them on their own.  Few towns are insane enough to steal a Giants beluved pet, so quite frankly most of the humanoids you'll encounter raising these will be pretty freaky too.  Let's face it, what kind of insane whackadoo steals the pets of something that can squish them without a second thought?

Skills: Guinea Pigs have a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks.

Combat: Guinea Pigs run, they don't fight.  If they're cornered or defending their kids they'll put on a show, but they aren't really great combatants.  Fortunately, as they are pets, combat is rare.




Giant Guinea Pigs
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be continuing our adventures with Farmer John."

Surprisingly Brave For Furry Potatoes
"I've had regular Guinea Pigs.  They can be awful short tempered about the quality of their food..."

"That's why we also market Farmer Johns Perfect Piggie Rations!"

"Saw that coming..."


Crops? What Crops?

"Again, wouldn't these be devastating to crops if they were to get loose?"

"Why does everyone think so little of our security? We only employee the finest, most experienced Gremlins."
« Last Edit: July 10, 2022, 08:07:47 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #18 on: November 11, 2011, 09:12:44 PM »
Dire Giraffe
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             18d8+90 (171 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (-2 Size, +9 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+31
Attack:               Head Butt +21 melee (2d8+10)
Full Attack:          1 Head Butt +21 melee (2d8+10) and 2 Stamps +16 melee (2d6+5)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:      Trample (2d8+10), Increased Reach
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +16, Ref +11, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +13, Spot +14
Feats:                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Brutal Strike, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Run
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Herd (4-12)
Challenge Rating:    9
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          19-27 HD (Huge), 28-36 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert?"

"Yeah Abner?"

"What the ____ is that?"

"Who cares, it's seen us! Run!

The Gods alone know where Dire Giraffe's came from.  Some people think of them as proof of a Divine sense of the absurd.  Or that maybe the Creators do illicit substances when no one is looking.  It would certainly explain the existence of other things like Ethereal Filchers.

Trample (Ex): DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage.

Increased Reach (Ex): Due to the length of it's neck and limbs the Giraffe has a range of 15 feet.

Combat: Dire Giraffe's are more interested in mating or chewing grass than anything else, but on occasion they get hold of some rotten fruit that's been fermenting into alcohol and decide the small people things would be fun to run over or headbutt.




Giant Giraffe
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we get what we were expecting."

They Like To Play Golf.  You Are The Ball.
"Your little friend doesn't appear to like us."

"Oh no, that's normal.  They like to swing their heads at smaller creatures like they were playing golf using their heads as clubs."

"This is normal behavior?"

"It is for Giraffes.  Giraffes are (beep)."

Marvels of biology
"When did we get a censor?"

"The Gnomes built one into your Cube of Force, just in case it was needed."

"(beep) Gnomes..."
« Last Edit: August 28, 2022, 07:57:46 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #19 on: November 11, 2011, 09:13:10 PM »
Dire Pocket Gopher Swarm
                      Tiny Animal
Hit Dice:             12d8 (54 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), burrow 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +9/-
Attack:               Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction
Special Qualities:    Swarm traits, Low Light Vision, Half damage from Slashing and Piercing weapons, Scent
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Hide +14, Listen +11, Move Silently +4, Spot +10
Feats:                Ability Focus (Distraction), Alertness, Endurance, Stealthy
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"These here is holes Bert."

"Yep."

"You know whut this means don't you?"

"Yep."

"It means GOPHERS!"

"Yep."

"Gawds I hate Gophers..."

Gophers are normally solitary animals, but Dire Gophers like to swarm for reasons unknown to Druid's and other fauna experts.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to a Swarm's damage that begins it's turn in the Swarm's area must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 turn.  See page 316 of the MM.

Combat: Gopher swarms attack pretty much like any other swarm.  They're just fuzzier.



Giant Pocket Gopher Swarm
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing a less diabolical gopher species."

Beneficial, At Times
"Aren't Gophers beneficial to the ecosystem?"

"In their natural habit yes.  Farms are not that"

"Maybe I was wrong about it being less diabolical..."

"They are excellent at destroying crops."

Voracious

"Why are they swarming that field?"

"Despite not growing much bigger, we think we ramped up their metabolism.  It's made them a wee aggressive."
« Last Edit: August 07, 2022, 06:14:56 PM by bhu »