Author Topic: Dire Critters  (Read 35900 times)

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #40 on: November 11, 2011, 09:30:40 PM »
Dire Pigeon
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 70 ft. (average)
Armor Class:          14 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+10
Attack:               Beak +6 melee (1d8+3)
Full Attack:          1 Beak +6 melee (1d8+3) and 2 Claws +1 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Wing Slap, Pigeon Bomb
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills:               Balance +10, Listen +4, Spot +5
Feats:                Flyby Attack, Wingover
Environment:          Any Warm or Temperate except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (11-30)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         5-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Okay Sally.  This here bein' you first run with Uncle Abner n' me we need to make sure you know whats going on.  You know what we need to do right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Now when Uncle Abner and Ah chase the birdies off the roof, what do you do?"

"Ah whack em wif mah sling."

"Good."

"Then Ah takes 'em home ta snuggle, cuz theys mah pets now."

"Ah told you she wasn't ready for this yet."

Dire Pigeons are loud, obnoxious, incredibly stupid birds who crap everywhere.  They also bring down property values by nesting on the roofs of houses (usually caving them in at times under their weight).  Few Dire Species have achieved such nuisance levels as the Pigeon.  Adventurers willing to face  them are scarce.  Not because they're powerful, but because no sane adventurer wants to be thrown off roofs and pooped on to earn a living.

Wing Slap (Ex): As a Standard Action the Dire Pigeon may do a quick and unexpected wing slap against an opponent, usually when they are somewhere high.  This does 1d6+1 damage, and the Pigeon gets an Immediate Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it successfully trips it's opponent the opponent may risk falling from the roof or tower the pigeon is on.  It's surprising how otherwise incredibly stupid animals know this.

Pigeon Bomb (Ex):  While in Flight the Pigeon may as a Standard Action poop on gawkers below.  Treat this as a ranged grenade like weapon, and if it hits it covers a 5' area in foul smelling poo.  Opponents who have the Scent ability lose it until they wash, and must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Nauseated for 1d3 rounds.  Should the Pigeon critically hit with the poop attack it gets in it's victims eyes blinding it for 1d3 rounds. Basically pigeons are evil bastards.

Skills: Dire Pigeons gain a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance Checks.

Combat:  If a Dire Pigeons foes do not have ranged weapons, they will patiently wait for them to climb the house to reach them before using a quick Wing Slap to Knock them off the roof.  They will repeat until the PC's get tired of this.  Should they change tactics or have range, they will Bomb the PC's or their mounts.



Giant Pigeons
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing feathered rats."

Apparently Pigeons Are Not Well Liked
"So.  Pigeons.  Can't imagine as they're popular other than nobles who want trained messengers."

"Exactly why we made them!"

"So how has it worked out?"

"It hasn't.  Pigeons are bast--."

And For Good Reason

"Hey now.  This is a family show."

"Which doesn't make it any less true."
« Last Edit: July 24, 2022, 06:55:25 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #41 on: November 11, 2011, 09:31:04 PM »
Dire Chicken
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Clumsy)
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+11
Attack:               Peck +6 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack:          1 Peck +6 melee (1d8+4) and 2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Flying Charge
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Short Term Flight
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills:               Listen +4, Search +6, Spot +4
Feats:                Improved Multiattack, Multiattack
Environment:          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (10-30)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"YAY!!! CHIKINS!!!

"Much as our niece enjoys this here farm Abner, Ah can't trust a man raises giant chikins."

"Yup."

Dire Chickens were a once rare farm animal escaped into the wild.  Subsequently they bred out of control and are now massive pests.

Flying Charge (Ex): When the Dire Chicken charges it uses it's Flight Speed to gain momentum, launching itself onto it's opponent in the air.  It makes a Full Attack with the charge, and it's opponent must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is 10 plus half Hit Dice plus Cha Modifier plus a +2 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 1d6 rounds.

Short Term Flight (Ex): A Chicken can fly for (3 plus Constitution Modifier) rounds before it must land and rest.  It gains altitude half as quickly as other fliers do as well, but it may subtract 20' from any fall before calculating damage.

Skills: Dire Chickens gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Search Checks.

Combat: Dire Chickens usually fly sharp-bits-first right into opponents.  Many adventurers refer to them as "the worlds tastiest flying saw".





Giant Chickens
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's efforts to solve the various hunger crises around the world."

BAWK!
"Holy crap, are those chickens?"

"Yessir.  One of my bigger successes."
"Sir, are you aware of what they are believed to be descended from?"

"You two scare of a few chickens?"

Fat Birb T-Rex
"I have a cube of force.  I fear no chicken."

"Please.  How often have you had to use that versus mere farm animals?"

"Far more often than I'd like..."
« Last Edit: July 03, 2022, 07:21:35 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #42 on: November 11, 2011, 09:31:19 PM »
Dire Turkey
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             10d8+50 (95 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Clumsy)
Armor Class:          16 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/+22
Attack:               Peck +12 melee (2d6+9)
Full Attack:          Peck +12 melee (2d6+9)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:     Blind Panic
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Short Term Flight
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +10, Spot +9
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness, Reckless Charge
Environment:          Temperate Forest
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (4-6)
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          11-20 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"We're gonna eat good t'night Abner..."


Dire Turkeys are massive gobbling fiends who actively repress the local peasants by chasing them about when they gather nuts in the forest.  Or at least that's what the local peasants claim.  The starving, slightly wounded peasants carrying bird hunting bows...

Blind Panic (Ex): Whenever a Dire Turkey is subject to a Fear effect or Morale Penalty it completely freaks out and runs down the source of the fear, before fleeing into the distance.  This is a Charge attack doing 4d6+14 damage if it is successful.  If it hits, the victim must make a DC 22 Fortitude Save (Save DC is 10 plus half HD plus Str Modifier) or be knocked Prone and Dazed 1 round.

Short Term Flight (Ex): A Dire Turkey can fly for (3 plus Constitution Modifier) rounds before it must land and rest.  It gains altitude half as quickly as other fliers do as well, but it may subtract 20' from any fall before calculating damage.

Combat: Dire Turkeys usually charge in an attempt to back opponents off.  Or they go screeching into the forest.  One of the two.




Giant Turkeys
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be finishing up our tour of Farmer John's animal husbandry program."

GOBBLEOBBLEOBBLE!
"Somehow I just knew it would be turkeys..."

"Hssh.  They're very sensitive to loud noises and criticism.  We don't wanna spark a panic."

"Never fear good sir.  Jim is alays equipped with Mutual of Gnomeahaw's trusty cube of force!"

"Oh yeah.  Still I'd leave them well enough alone."

TREE CULTISTS?

"So why are they endlessly circling that tree to the accompaniment of chanting?"

"Have I mentioned we also have a pet business?"

"Only as an obvious dodge to my question..."
« Last Edit: July 10, 2022, 07:22:26 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #43 on: November 11, 2011, 09:31:37 PM »
Dire Parrot
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d6+1/18-20)
Full Attack:          1Bite +3 melee (1d6+1/18-20) and 2 Talons -2 melee (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Cracking Beak
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Mimicry
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +5, Perform (Mimicry) +7, Spot +5
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest or Plains or Hills
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (4-10)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"RAWK! Polly wants a cracker!"

"How much we bein' paid to catch these things Abner?  Ah like money an' all but damn these birds are annoying."

"RAWK! Polly wants some gold pieces!"

"Thats why we're fetchin' em.  Don't know whut them boys have in mind, but it's worth it for 20 GP a bird."

"RAWK! Polly bein' used!"

"Yeah but Ah think they go out of their way to be jerks y'know."

"RAWK! Polly knows about Bert's being drunk and nekkid in the woods!"

"THAT'S IT!  Ah've taken all the ____ Ah'm gonna take from birds! Open that cage and give him an axe, we'll settle this now!"

".....um...Bert...you been eating the local berries? Birds can't hold axes."

"Good! That'll make this easier!"

Dire Parrots are incredibly large parrots who not only can repeat what they've heard, the can expand upon it, and almost seem to do so somewhat maliciously.

Cracking Beak (Ex): Parrots beaks are incredibly powerful for their size, and can even crack nuts.  They threaten a Critical on a successful 18-20.

Mimicry (Ex):  The Dire Parrot can mimic most sounds it has heard.  A creature that hears the sounds can tell they are imitations with an opposed Perform versus Sense Motive Check.

Skills: The Dire Parrot gains a +4 Racial Bonus on Perform (Mimicry) checks.

Combat: Parrots go straight for the bite before flying off.  They know better than to hang around.



Giant Parrots
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's potential undoing."

RAWK!
"You know Parrots repeat things, right?"

"True, but I've done nothing they can tell on."

"But what about your employees?"

"THE BODIES ARE UNDER PIER 12!! RAWK!!"

Never Trust A Parrot
"That doesn't bode well."

"Dammit...SECURITY!! I need a sweep of the docks."
« Last Edit: July 22, 2022, 12:10:33 AM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #44 on: November 11, 2011, 09:31:59 PM »
Dire Pika
                      Tiny Animal
Hit Dice:             1/2d8 (2 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                15 ft. (3 squares), either Climb 15 ft. or Burrow 5 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-
Attack:               Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
Full Attack:          Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:   -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Poison Tolerance
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills (burrowing):              Climb +6, Hide +14, Jump +6, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Spot +3
Skills (climibing):               Balance +6, Climb +10, Jump +6, Listen +7, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Cold or Temperate Plains or Mountains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"We really should'na brought Sally along fer this.  Cold as a witches behind on this mountain."

"We'll think of something Abner.  We always do."

"Unca Bert! Unca Abner! Ah found shelter!"

"Really?  lead on Sally!"

moments later

"Whut the hell?  This cave is full of lil furry critters."

"Uh huh, and they says we can spend tha night long as we cause no trouble or squish the lil baby ones."

"How does she do this?"


Dire Pikas are among the worlds cutest furry critters, and come in mountain climbing or plains burrowing varieties.  Despite being huge for Pikas, they're still pretty darn small.

Poison Tolerance (Ex): Pikas eat many plants that are poisonous, and thus have a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves against ingested poisons.

Skills: Burrowing Pikas have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, Move Silently, and Jump checks.

Climbing Pikas have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb Checks, and a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance and Jump Checks.

Both types have a +4  Racial Bonus to Listen Checks.  Pikas use Dexterity instead of Strength for Climb and Jump Checks.

Combat: Pikas are aggressive for their size, but not stupid.  They flee anything bigger than themselves.  At least until the adventurers go to sleep.



Giant Pikas
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching a fascinating lagomorph species."

SQUEE!
"Okay, I can see these raiding fields, but how are they any different than the others?"

"They have a variety of calls.  Once you understand what they mean, you surround a rival with them, and you have yourself an alarm system that announces his movements."

"You've raised exploitation to an art form."

"High praise from you Harlan."

Gotta Hug Em All

"Do you two know each other?"

"Most Wizards know of each other."

"Is that a Shrew?"
« Last Edit: August 07, 2022, 07:00:22 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #45 on: November 11, 2011, 09:32:23 PM »
Dire Elephant
                      Gargantuan Animal
Hit Dice:             24d8+192 (300 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          25 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 25
Base Attack/Grapple:  +18/+45
Attack:               Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
Full Attack:          1 Slam +29 melee (3d6+15) and 2 Stamps +24 melee (3d6+7) or Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:   Trample (4d6+22), Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +22, Ref +13, Will +9
Abilities:            Str 40, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +18, Spot +15
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Snatch, Iron Will, Multisnatch, Power Attack, Skill Focus (Listen), Snatch, Awesome Blow (B)
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Herd (3-15)
Challenge Rating:     12
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          25-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37-48 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Abner...Ah don't wanna here any more complaints bought chasin' birds."

Dire Elephants are like regular elephants, except maybe if they were armored and twitchy from a steady diet of black coffee and spoiled bananas.  In other words you reeeeally don't wanna make em angry.

Trample (Ex): DC 37 Reflex Save for half Damage. Save DC is Str Based.

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor (Ex): If the Dire Elephant has successfully grabbed an opponent with it's Snatch Feat (A Dire Elephant threatens a Snatch Attack after using it's Slam Attack instead of a claw or bite), it may squeeze them doing 2d6+15 damage per round the Grapple is maintained, or throw them away.  You can pick up an opponent at least two size categories smaller than you and throw them toward a specific square up to five range increments away (range increment is 15 feet).  You make a ranged touch attack (against AC 5) to throw the opponent to the chosen square. If the touch attack hits, the opponent lands in the square you designate. If the touch attack is a miss, randomly determine in which square the opponent lands, using the Missing with a Thrown Weapon diagram on page 158 of the Player's Handbook. If the opponent lands in a square that is occupied, they land prone in that square. In any case, the opponent doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity for this movement.  The flung opponent (and target they hit) take 1d6 damage per 10 feet thrown, +1d6 per size category over Small.

Combat: Dire Elephants fight in much the same way as regular elephants do, they just tend to be meaner and put in the extra shot to make sure you're dead.  Plus they love to grab people with their trunks and throw them around.



Giant Elephants
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be watching one mans clear descent into madness."

Walking Fortresses
"Oh come on. No one hunts these."

"You'd be surprised.  A lot of high level Barbarians like the challenge."

"The good people at Mutual of Gnomeahaw do not support, or tolerate, fourth wall breaking."

"Well, excuse me."

Surprisingly Versatile Killers

"Really, who are these for?"

"The local Goblins love 'em.  They're perfect for troop transport."
« Last Edit: July 30, 2022, 07:01:05 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #46 on: November 11, 2011, 09:32:47 PM »
Dire Squirrel
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+4 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
Full Attack:          1 Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d4) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:   SQEEE!
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Balance +12, Climb +12, Jump +12, Listen +3, Search +1, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B) *
Environment:          Cold or Temperate Forests
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

* Brachiation is in Complete Adventurer

"Unca Bert?  Unca Abner? Can Ah keep 'im?  His name is Goober."

"Sally, honey, we're s'posed ta whup the critters not adopt them."

Dire Squirrels are cute fuzzy abominations of nature who like to pelt adventurers with nuts and rocks.  Sometimes they play whats known as "Adventurer tag" by leaping on them from the trees, and then running away in some bizarre form of counting coup.

SQEEE! (Ex): As a Standard Action the Dire Squirrel can leap from the trees pouncing on an unsuspecting victim below.  The attack does 2d6+2 damage, and the victim must make 2 separate DC 14 Fortitude Saves (Save DC is Strength Based with a +2 Circumstance Bonus).  If the first is failed the victim is knocked prone.  If the second is failed he is also Stunned for 1 round.

Skills: Dire Squirrels have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Balance, Climb, Jump, and Search checks.  They may always take 10 on a Balance or Climb check, and may use their Dex or Str mod for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Squirrels usually launch themselves at opponents out of the trees before scampering away out of reach.  Then they repeat.  Sometimes they  throw small rocks and nuts.



Giant Squirrels
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be doing our annual segment on adorable wildlife."

Woodland Pranksters
"Giant Squirrels...as pets..."

"Squirrels are quite common as pets among rural folk."

"Those squirrels are quite a bit smaller."

"True, but they don't make for the defensive option that my squirrels provide."

If An Acorn Hits You, Does The Squirrel Make A Sound?

"And that option would be?"

"They really, really like messing with random, heavily armed drifters."
« Last Edit: July 17, 2022, 07:17:06 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #47 on: November 11, 2011, 09:34:22 PM »
Dire Keet
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             1d8+1 (5 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          14 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-6
Attack:               Peck +3 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack:          1 Peck +3 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws -2 melee (1d2-2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Annoy
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
Skills:               Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Warm except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-30)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"Bert I swear ta gawd Ah'm gonna kill this damn thing if it don't stop squawkin'."

Dire Parakeets are even more annoyingly screechy than the regular kind.  Even worse they're smart enough to know it.  Many is the Keet who has perched next to a sleeping adventurer and screeched the night away.

Annoy (Ex): As a Swift Action the Keet may screech each round, delivering a nails on a chalkboard sensation to any poor bystanders.  Any round in which it screeches within 30 ft. of another being, that being must make a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con Based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or any action requiring concentration becomes a Full Round Action, and he receives a -4 penalty on all Concentration checks for the round.

Combat: Keets aren't warriors.  They screech a lot, but they rarely full out attack anyone.



Giant Parakeets
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be defining what it means to be patient and professional."

SKREEE!
"Sweet Jebus, that is some serious racket."

"They calm down once they get to know you.  After you've had them a year, they can be quite affectionate."

"SKREEEE!"

"What do you do in the meantime?"

"I would invest in hearing protection."

The Grand High Poobahs of Bird Memes

"Do they ever stop?"

"SKREEE!!"

"Alas, no."

« Last Edit: July 21, 2022, 01:04:40 AM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #48 on: November 11, 2011, 09:37:38 PM »
Dire Flamingo
                      Huge Animal                                                                                 
Hit Dice:             10d8+30 (75 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 100 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          14 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/+23
Attack:               Bite +13 melee (2d6+12)
Full Attack:          Bite +13 melee (2d6+12)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:    Swallow Whole, Boiling Sneeze
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Water Resistance
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 26, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +5, Search +5, Spot +5
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Multisnatch, Snatch
Environment:         Warm Marshes
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         11-20 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"More friggin' birds...whut the hell are they doin' anyways?"

"They's eatin' the shrimp in this here marsh were wadin' in.  It's how they get their pink feathers.

"WHUT?  Lookit the size of them things! How big are the shrimp theys eatin?"

"...uuhh..."

Let's git tha hell outta this water Bert!"

Swallow Whole (Ex): If a Dire Flamingo successfully uses it's Snatch Feat it may attempt to Swallow Whole it's victim the next round with a successful Grapple Check.  A swallowed creature takes 2d8+8 points of bludgeoning damage and 8 points of acid damage each round it remains swallowed.  It can escape by doing 25 points of damage to the Flamingos stomach (AC 12) wit ha light piercing or slashing weapon.  Once the victim exits muscular action closes the hole, and additional swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

Boiling Sneeze (Ex): When wading in the boiling salt pools in their native habitat, the flamingo has an additional defense.  As a Full Attack Action it can take a drink of the boiling water, and sneeze it at opponents.  This is a ranged touch attack with a range of 15 feet, and is +9 to hit.  If successful the opponent takes 6d6 fire damage.

Hold Breath (Ex): A Dire Flamingo can hold it's breath for (Constitution Modifier times 6) turns before it risks drowning.

Water Resistance: Flamingos can submerge any part of themselves in boiling water, and thus have Fire Resistance 10 to such effects.  Actual fire still hurts them.

Combat: Dire Flamingos rarely attack in flight.  Usually they land to peck, and take off only if they're losing or their opponents can fly.



Giant Flamingos
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be ... looking at some truly huge, pink birds."

Pink because They Eat Plankton
"These are fairly impractical sir.  Maintaining the boiling pools of water alone must be a fortune."

"No worries, the staff has protective suits."

"Protective suits?"

"They cough up the water after they feed from it."

They Feed Their Young 'Blood Milk'.  Not As Terrifying As It Sounds.

"So why is that one coughing up blood into the other one's mouth?"

"Oh that's just how they feed their young.  No worries, it isn't really blood."

« Last Edit: August 21, 2022, 07:54:12 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #49 on: November 11, 2011, 09:37:55 PM »
Dire Moose
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             18d8+90 (171 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          20 (-2 Size, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+30
Attack:              Gore +22 melee (3d6+16)
Full Attack:          Gore +22 melee (3d6+16)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:   Dancing (4d8+16), Powerful Charge
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +16, Ref +11, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 32, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +12, Spot +11
Feats:                Cold Endurance, Endurance, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge
Environment:         Cold or Temperate Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     10
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         19-24 HD (Huge), 25-36 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Ah don't think that huntin' bows gonna do us a lotta good Bert..."

Dire Moose are easily spooked despite their size, and will often be seen raining death down on some poor soul who happened to simply stand next to them without being noticed for a few moments.

Dancing (Ex): Dire Moose like to stand over foes and do what looks like a little dance on them.  In reality they are slowly trampling them to death.  This works like Trample except the Moose can end movement in it's opponents square, and the opponent gets no save for half damage if it does.

Powerful Charge (Ex): When performing a Powerful Charge attack, opponents struck by it must also make an opposed Strength Check or be knocked Prone.

Combat: Dire Moose usually charge, and then dance.  They don't much need tactical genius.



Giant Moose
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be standing behind a forcewall, probably for the duration of our stay at this farm."

Did You Know Moose Get Drunk on Crab Apples?
"You have to be kidding me."

"Aren't they magnificent!"

"They're the size of elephants..."

"And much more ill-tempered!"

Spawn of the Devils

"These things are too dangerous for hunting."

"Ah, but you could also say they're too dangerous not to hunt!"
« Last Edit: July 30, 2022, 06:52:55 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #50 on: November 11, 2011, 09:45:30 PM »
Catfish God
Large Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+14
Attack: Bite+9 melee (1d8+6)
Full Attack: Bite+9 melee (1d8+6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Spine Lash
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills: Listen +4, Search +3, Spot +4, Swim +12
Feats: Ability Focus (Poison), Endurance, Swim-By Attack
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"YOU WILL BOW!!  YOU WILL BOW TO THE GREAT CATFISH GAWD!!"

"Abner the locals appear to be a might odd."

"YOU WILL BOW NOW!"

"Bert, if'n he doesn't stop a'spittin' on me when he screams ah want you to hit him in his 'quiet area' with thet axe of yours..."

Catfish Gods are enormous river catfish that grow larger and larger with time, and are worshiped by some primitives as gods.  Many feed them sacrifices after they grow too big to move anymore (though that can take generations).  They are, in fact, Dire Catfish.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Catfish Gawd successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may then Swallow it's victim or deal it's bite damage.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Catfish Gawd can Swallow an opponent up to 3 Size Classes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check.  The swallowed opponent takes 1d8+4 bludgeoning damage and 1d8 acid damage per round inside the stomach.  It may escape by doing 15 points of damage to the stomach (AC 13) with a light slashing or piercing weapon.  Once it exits, muscular action closes the hole and other swallowed creatures must find their own way out.

Poison Lash (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Catfish can lash it's head back and forth while twisting it's powerful body, possibly hitting everyone in the squares in front of it and to either side.  Every creature in that area must make a DC 18 Reflex Save (Save DC is Strength Based) or take 2d6+4 piercing damage from the Catfish Gawds barbels.  If it is successfully damaged it must also make a DC 19 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution Based) or be poisoned (Initial and Secondary damage is 2d4 Strength).

Blindsense (Ex): While underwater the Catfish God can sense any creature within 30 ft.

Skills: Catfish Gods have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.  They also get a +4 Racial Bonus on Search Checks.

Combat:  Catfish Gawds use their Poison Lash on bigger creatures, or on threats they can't simply swallow.



Giant Catfish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be meeting a local landmark, courtesy of Farmer John."

River Monsters
"That's not a landmark, that's a catfish."

"Yes, but the locals think it's a Gawd.

"And you haven't corrected them?"

"Oh, hell no.  They bring in too much money.  Plus it may be a Gawd."

In It's Unblinking Eyes Lie The Keys To The Universe

"Why do you say that?"

"Have you ever met a Gawd, or someone possessed by them?  They're sneaky, and mean, and often like to hide inside  people or critters to avoid notice."
« Last Edit: July 31, 2022, 06:59:38 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #51 on: November 11, 2011, 09:45:47 PM »
Dire Stingray
Huge Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 12d8+72 (126 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+23
Attack: Tail Lash +17 melee (1d8+11 plus poison)
Full Attack: Tail Lash +17 melee (1d8+11 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Poison Sting
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
Saves: Fort +14, Ref +12, Will +6
Abilities: Str 32, Dex 14, Con 22, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills: Hide -2 (+2 underwater), Listen +6, Search +3, Spot +6, Swim +19
Feats: Ability Focus (Poison), Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Lightning Reflexes
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 13-19 HD (Huge), 20-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---

"What fool through a perfectly good tent in the river?"

"Abner! Abner that ain't no tent!  Abner!!"

Dire Stingrays are unusually large stingrays that are much of concern to any tribes dependent on the jungle rivers they occupy.

Poison Sting (Ex):  The sting in a Dire Stingrays tail is far more deadly than it's smaller cousins.  Injury, DC 24 Fort Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial Damage is 2d4 Constitution and Secondary Damage is Paralysis for 2d4 rounds.  Probably not a good thing since you'll be in the water.

Blindsense (Ex): While underwater the Dire Stingray can sense any creature within 30 ft.

Skills: Dire Stingrays have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check. Due to being largely the same color as the muddy river waters they live in, Dire Stingrays gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks underwater.

Combat: Dire Stingrays attack pretty much the way regular Stingrays do, by charging and lashing with their tail.  Well okay usually regular Stingrays are more subtle or likely to swim away, but these suckers are huge.



Giant Stingrays
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we continue with Farmer John's obsession with venom."

Badly Damaging To Shellfish Beds
"I can see these being dangerous, but saboteurs?"

"They are a shrimpery's worst nightmare"

"Does that make up for the immense danger in raising them?"

"Mostly."


Surprisingly Stealthy

"That doesn't sound encouraging."

"Clearly, sir, you have never randomly been under assault by  packs of heavily armed drifters."
« Last Edit: August 14, 2022, 08:28:59 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #52 on: November 11, 2011, 09:54:17 PM »
Dire Piranha
Small Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+1 Size, +1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-4
Attack: Bite +2 melee (1d6-1)
Full Attack: Bite +2 melee (1d6-1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Shearing Bite
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense 30 ft.
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities: Str 8, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +6, Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +7
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary or School (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 1/2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Ah don't like this river Bert."

"Oh quit complainin' and help me look fer that missin' woman..."

"The waters too dark.  I can't see whats swimmin' in it with us.  It makes me feel all twitchy like..."

"Just relax Abner."

"Bert...something has my toe...and not in a good way..."

Dire Piranha are perhaps more vicious than their smaller brethren.  Thankfully there aren't quite as many of them, or the rivers would be stripped of life...

Shearing Bite (Ex): The Bite of a Piranha does x4 damage on a successful critical hit.

Blindsense (Ex): While underwater the Dire Piranha can sense any creature within 30 ft.

Skills: Dire Piranhas have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Dire Piranhas tend to bite and retreat, repeating until their victim is dead.



Giant Piranha
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we find ourselves amidst a cliche of horror tales."

Worse Than Regular Piranha
"Are you insane?"

"I think we all know the answer to that by now."

"You know these things always get loose right?"


Actually Quite Omnivorous

"Do you have the appropriate precautions?  These are the shrews of the fish world."

"Gentleman, I can assure you we are fine.  They can't get loose."

WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!

"Sir, the piranha are loose."

"Gentlemen, perhaps we should retire to my private zoo.  We have a new marsupial exhibit."

"I'm always a sucker for a good marsupial."
« Last Edit: August 14, 2022, 08:40:32 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #53 on: November 11, 2011, 09:57:43 PM »
Dire Arapaima
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 12d8+36 (90 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+27
Attack: Bite +13 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack: Bite +13 melee (2d6+10)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense, Hold Breath
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +6
Abilities: Str 24, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +10, Spot +9, Swim +15
Feats: Combat Reflexes, Improved Initiative, Improved Snatch, Snatch, Snatch and Swallow (B, see Draconomicon, energy damage is acid)
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Aaahh...nuthin' like realxin' on the river trout fishin'..."

"..."

"..."

*coughs*

"We're not trout fishin' are we Bert..."

"(Sighs) No."

"Dammit Bert! You said we was supposed to be on vacation!"


The Dire Arapaima (also known as the Pirarucu) is a huge predator fish found in large rivers.  It is also one of the few fish required to surface every so often for air.

Blindsense: The Dire Arapaima can sense all creatures within 60 ft.' while underwater.

Hold Breath: The Dire Arapaima can Hold it's breath out of water for (8 times it's Constitution modifier) rounds before it risks suffocating.

Skills: Dire Arapima have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: The Dire Arapaima tends to snatch and swallow against creatures small enough,  Otherwise it simply snatches one, and swims away while chewing on it.  It will return for another when the first is dead.




Giant Arapaima
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be seguing into fishing. "

River Monsters Part Deux
"Let me guess.  Sport fishing?"

"Yes sir.  They're too voracious to live!"

"But these will eat all the other river fish.  What will the villagers eat?."

"These don't eat fish sir, they eat villagers."

They Can Breath Out Of Water

"Have you warned the villagers?."

"Didn't have to, the first fish loosed were...precocious.""
« Last Edit: July 31, 2022, 07:00:57 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #54 on: November 11, 2011, 10:01:47 PM »
Dire Candiru
Diminutive Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 17, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-17
Attack: Nibble -1 melee (1 point) or Lunge +3 melee touch (see below)
Full Attack: Nibble -1 melee (1 point) or Lunge +3 melee touch (see below)
Space/Reach: 1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Blindsense
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 16, Con 11, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +15, Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +3
Feats: Alertness
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 1/2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

"Ah really, really don't like this river Bert."

Dire Candiru are too large to truly annoy humanoid populations, and instead focus their parasitization on the local Giants.  Something which has made the Giants a bit fussy about entering rivers.  They do however like Candiru sushi, and many humanoid villages earn decent pay by fishing for the critter, both to provide food and remove a menace to future generations of giants.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! (Ex):  Candiru survive by feeding on the blood supply of larger fish, or of Giants and giant sized critters.  To do this they perform a Lunge attack, which is a melee touch attack to fit themselves into the gill cavities of a large fish, or any other appropriate opening on a Giant (usually the urethra).  If the touch attack is successful and the Candiru has made it's way inside, it extends spines, making it impossible to pull out without seriously injuring or killing the victim.  Attempting to pull the Candiru out does 1d4 temporary Constitution damage, and the victim loses an additional 2d6 hp per round due to blood loss if it can be puled out (a DC 25 Str check is required).  Unsuccessful attempts do 1 point of temporary Con damage per attempt, and if the check rolls a natural 1 or fails by 5 or more, the victim also begins taking the additional bleeding damage per round.  The Candiru can also be removed via surgery (DC 25 Heal Check, takes 1d3 hours).  If the check is failed, the fish is still removed but the victim takes 1 point of temporary Con damage, and also takes the bleeding damage.  The victim may also suffer some physical and mental impairment as a result.  There are also herbal remedies that can be made (DC 25 Knowledge: Nature check) that will kill the fish and dissolve it over the course of 1d4 days. 

While the fish is alive and inside a victim it does 1 point of temporary Con damage per day while feeding.

Blindsense (Ex): While underwater the Dire Candiru can sense any creature within 30'.

Skills: Dire Candiru have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Candiru tend to stalk an appropriate fish to parasitize.  If this fails it finds a Giant it can use.  They avoid humanoids who have no appropriately sized openings they can get into.  They can't really fight, aand have to hope to take victims by surprise.



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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #55 on: November 11, 2011, 10:06:25 PM »
Dire Toucan
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Beak +3 melee (1d8+2/19-20, x3)
Full Attack:          Beak +3 melee (1d8+2/19-20, x3)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:     Crushing Beak
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision,
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Intimidate +2, Listen +2, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary, or Pair
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...I can't help but notice we're in a jungle.  Which means we're hunting birds or bugs or snakes."

"It's birds."

"DAMMIT BERT, WE AGREED NO MORE BIRDS!"

"But the poison critters are okay?"

"YES! I MEAN NO! Look you owe me a big one for this!  Everytime we go after birds bad things happen."

Dire Toucans are slightly more aggressive (and much larger) versions of their smaller relatives.  While they primarily eat fruit they are opportunistic omnivores, so adventurers shouldn't let their guard down.

Crushing Beak (Ex): A Dire Toucans beak criticals on a 19-20 and does x3 damage.

Combat: Dire Toucans rarely see the need to fight unless PC's are close to their nest or food sources.  Then it's Beak Time.  Preferably on the back of your head if Intimidation doesn't work.




Giant Toucans[color]
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be wishing we'd lost our hearing."

Opportunistic Omnivores
"They are quite loud."

"Try not to mention it out loud, they may get bitey."

"I thought they ate fruit?"

"They usually do, but they're quick to take advantage if you aren't paying attention."

The Beak Helps Regulate Their Body Temperature
"Wait those aren't bird noses..."

"That must be the Megafauna wing, it's just next door."
« Last Edit: August 28, 2022, 07:14:18 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #56 on: November 11, 2011, 10:14:16 PM »
Dire Cow
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             12d8+60 (114 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-2 Size, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +9/+27
Attack:               WHAP! +17 melee (2d8+15)
Full Attack:          WHAP! +17 melee (2d8+15)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Trample (3d8+15), Stampede
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +13, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +11, Spot +10
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Large and in Charge, Power Attack
Environment:          Temperate Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Herd (4-12)
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          13-18 HD (Huge), 19-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ----

MOO!

"Bert I blame you for this."

"Blame me for what?  Nuthin's happened yet."

MOO!

"Giant cows Bert? Have we learned nuthin' in our travels?"

MOO!

"So you think herding the Dire Cows was a bad idea?"

"No I think it's  perfectly fine"

"Well what..."

"OF COURSE I THINK IT'S A BAD IDEA DAMMIT!"

MOO!

Dire Cows were a well meaning Wizard experiment on creating more food.  They forgot that bigger cows need more feed though.  So while there's lots more milk and beef, you really need to have a buttload of hay (or whatever you feed cows).  It's easier to let them roam wild and find their own food and hunt them down when you need one for dinner.  But letting them run free can be dangerous (although it's not exactly easy to pen them up at their size).

Trample (Ex): DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Str Based).

Stampede (Ex): If Dire Cattle get spooked they will stampede, royally screwing up the day of anyone in their path.  Anything in the path of the Stampede takes 3d8+15 damage for every 2 cows in the herd, with a DC 26 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Str Based).

Combat: Dire Cattle usually kick, headbutt or just squash anything much smaller than them.  If it's large or bigger, or makes lots of sudden noise they stampede.




Giant Cow
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Farmer John's prize winning cow."

MOO!
"Sweet Jebus..."

"Big 'un ain't she?"

"How can you afford to feed her?"

"I can't.  She pretty much goes where she wants to for food."

Don't Make Any Sudden Noises
"How do you get her to come back?"

"She feels safe here at night."

"Really?"

"Far more often than I'd like..."
« Last Edit: July 03, 2022, 07:28:20 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #57 on: November 11, 2011, 10:28:35 PM »
Dire Rust Monster
                      Huge Aberration
Hit Dice:             42d8+336 (525  hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          30 (-2 Size, +1 Dex, +21 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 29
Base Attack/Grapple:  +31/+49
Attack:               Antennae +30 melee touch (see below) or Bite +39 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack:          Antennae +30 melee touch (see below) or Bite +39 melee (2d6+10)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Antennae, Trample (4d12+10)
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 120 ft., Scent, DR 10/-, SR 28
Saves:                Fort +27, Ref +15, Will +24
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 13, Con 24, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 15
Skills:               Listen +25, Spot +26
Feats:                Ability Focus (Antennae, Trample), Alertness, Awesome Blow, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Defensive Sweep, Epic Fortitude, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Large and In Charge, Power Attack, Track
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     17
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          43-63 HD (Gargantuan), 86 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Ah'm sorry Bert I couldn't hear you over the sound of me poopin' mahself...could you repeat that last part?"

It's uncertain if Dire Rust Monsters are naturally occurring mutations or magical in nature.  it is well known that their occasional appearance leads to the brutal assassination of anyone nearby who could potentially have summoned or created one (i.e. anyone with connections to Aberrations or magic, regardless if they'd have the necessary power).

Antennae (Su):  If a Dire Rust Monster successfully makes a touch attack with it's antennae it instantly destroys and corrodes a 30 foot cube of metal.  Magic items made of metal get a DC 40 Reflex Save to avoid destruction (Save DC is Constitution based).  Any metal objects that touch the Rust Monster also dissolve immediately.  Also, most life has some traces of metal within it.  Corporeal beings struck by the Antennae must make a DC 40 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or take 1d4 temporary Strength damage and be Dazed 1 round.

Trample (Ex): DC 43 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Strength based).

Combat: Dire Rust Monsters usually open up with their Antennae, then Trample and proceed to munch.



Giant Rust Monster
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we're taking our leave of Farmer Johns establishment."

Highly Illegal
"No offense, but you've had a series of disasters just in the time we were here."

"The two of you are such worry warts."

"SQUEE!"

"What in the Nine Hells was that?"

"Nothing...just a little side venture...I believe you were leaving."

"SQUEE!"

"Sweet Jebus,  you didn't...

"John...this is highly unusual...even the Guild of Evil Minions will want to see you hang for this."

"Mind your business Harlan."


Every Adventurers Worst Nightmare

CRASH!

"Farmer John, by the power invested in us by the local magistrate, you are now under arrest by the Order of Wood!"

"SQUEE!"

"Squeaky?  Oh my Gawds, Squeaky what have they done to you?  You Kaiju'd our little baby!  YOU WILL FACE OUR WOODY VENGEANCE VILLAINS!"

"Harlan, do you still have that teleport spell on contingency?"

"Funny you should ask..."
« Last Edit: September 17, 2022, 08:54:56 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #58 on: November 11, 2011, 10:57:22 PM »
Dire Dog (Toy Breed)
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          14 (+3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+1
Attack:               Bite +4 melee (1d6)
Full Attack:          Bite +4 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Trip
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent, Random Health problem
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 11, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Hide +4, Listen +2, Move Silently +4, Spot +2, Survival +2
Feats:                Track, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Domesticated
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"It's got me by a sensitive place Abner.  Do not bash it in the head when making your sneak attack.  Just give him the sausages"

Toy breeds are innumerable small size Dire Dog mutants with varying degrees of health problems and insanities.  Kept as pets, they often are more of a detriment to their master than his opponents due to their random unpredictable nature.

Trip (Ex): If the Toy Breed successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If the attempt fails the opponent doesn't get a Trip attempt in return.

Random Health Problem (Ex): Choose from among one of the following health problems (this can't be switched later).  Toy breeds are infamous for them:

Spontaneous Combustion: Anytime the dog takes damage it must make a Fortitude Save (DC is equal to 10 plus damage) or explode doing 5d6 fire damage in a 10 ft. area.

Spontaneous Zombification: Anytime your dog goes to sleep roll 1d100.  On a 1 it gains the Zombie template.  If brought to less than 0 hit points it automatically gains the Zombie template 1 round later.

Possible Madness: The dog is permanently Confused, as per the spell. CR 1/2

Fury: Anytime the dog is attacked, takes damage, or is upset it immediately goes into Frenzy (see Complete Warrior page 34). 

Fears: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it becomes either Paralyzed in fear for 2d6 hours, or Panicked for a similar period of time.  Interestingly if Panicked it doesn't need to move in a straight line away from the source of fear, but sometimes runs in circles around it. CR 1/2

Projectile Vomiting/Other:  Anytime the dog takes damage, makes a Saving Throw, or is in some way upset it sprays vomit in a 10 ft. Line.  Anything in that Area must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated 1d3 rounds.  Save DC is Constitution based.

Flatulence Flight:  Exactly one hour after the dog eats there is a small chance of explosive flatulence,  temporarily giving it a Flight move of 40 ft. for 1d6 rounds as long as it moves forwards in a straight line (or straight up). CR 1/2

Crippling Obesity: The dog is 5 times it's normal body weight.  It becomes Fatigued by performing any Standard or Full Round Action, and Exhausted if it performs one 3 or more rounds in a row.  On the other hand it's odd dimensions and mass give it a +8 Racial Bonus on Checks made to resist Bull Rush or Grapple Checks.  It also gains DR 2/- from it's rippling yards of backfat.

Random Psychic Stare:  At any given time the DM may roll 1d20.  On a 20 result, the dog spontaneously develops an Int Score of 20 for 1d6 minutes along with the ability to cast Dominate at will (caster Level is equal to HD) as a Supernatural Ability.  "Move along citizen, this perfectly ordinary but staring Chihuahua has no unusual powers and its not a threat."

OMG this shrubbery is alive:  Due to some hideous malformation of it's normal hairiness, your dog looks like a hideously diseased bush when remaining still.  It gains the Camouflage Ability listed on page 50 of the PHB).

Jowly: Your dog has a huge head, increasing it's Bite damage to 1d8, but giving it a -8 Racial Penalty to Balance Checks.

Diseased: This dog carries any disease listed in the DMG, and merely touching it can transmit the infection regardless of how you can normally catch it.  The dog is immune, the rest of you wish you were that lucky.

Spontaneous Fainting:  Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it becomes Unconscious for 1 minute. CR 1/2

Nervous: Anytime the dog is surprised or fails a Willpower Save that results in a Fear Effect or a Morale Penalty it does 2d6+6 damage to everything within 10 ft. and then dies as it's nervous system implodes upon itself.

Combat: Toy Dogs vary.  Some immediately flee combat, some are quick to charge and bite, and some are actual decent at it.  Much of it varies with how sane hte dog is.

Variants:

Annoying (Affenpinscher, Bichon Frise, Chihuahua, Pekingese, Pomeranian, Shih Tzu): Your dog barks non stop granting it the following ability:

Yap (Ex):  Your dogs non stop yapping gives everything within 60 ft. a -4 to Concentration and Listen Checks.



Energetic (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Italian Greyhound, Lowchen, Miniature Pinscher, Silky Terrier, Toy Fox Terrier, Yorkshire Terrier): You dog runs about getting into things non-stop granting it the following ability:

Distracting (Ex): Your dog gets a +2 Racial Bonus on Listen, Search, and Spot Checks, but everything within 10 ft. of him gets a -4 Penalty to Concentration Checks.

 

Stout (Boston Terrier, French Bulldog, Pug): You dog is more squat than normal giving him -10 land speed, increasing bite to 1d8, and giving him the following ability:

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Dog successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it immediately gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without  provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it deals it's bite damage each round it maintains the Grapple.  It may Grapple a creature of any Size.  +1 CR



Giant Dogs
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be reviewing mans best...friend?"

The Yappening
"Of all the possible dog breeds you could have chose why these?"

"Nobles are infatuated with them.  It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."

"So how has it worked out?"

"They tend to explode randomly."

Spontaneous Canine Combustion

"I beg your pardon?"

"Questionable breeding practices has led to a decline in health.  The magical processes meant to enlarge them also enlarged their problems."

"So has this led to a decline in sales?"

"Nope.   They've sped up."
« Last Edit: July 24, 2022, 07:02:58 PM by bhu »

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Re: Dire Critters
« Reply #59 on: November 11, 2011, 10:59:19 PM »
Dire Cuttlefish
                      Small Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                5 ft. (1 square), Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Tentacles +4 melee touch (Grapple)
Full Attack:          Tentacles +4 melee touch (Grapple)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Snatch, Poison
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Chameleon, Ink, Jet
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills:               Escape Artist +13, Hide +15, Listen +4, Move Silently +3, Spot +5, Swim +9
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         3-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Of all the things to go fishin' for Bert.  Ah cain't believe that lady wants these things as pets."

Dire Cuttlefish are pretty large for their species, but usually don't attack humans or similar sized critters unless it's mating season, or they're ill or scared.  They normally hunt small prey with their two extending feeding tentacles, but larger prey will be grappled if necessary.  Oddly enough they make decent pets as long as they're well cared for.  They look menacing enough most people won't jump into a moat filled with them.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Cuttlefish hits with it's Tentacles Attack it automatically gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  It may Grapple opponents up to 1 Size Class larger than itself and does not take Size Penalties to Grapple Checks.  The Cuttlefish bites it's opponent for 1d3+1 damage plus poison with a successful Grapple Check.

Snatch (Ex): The Cuttlefish has two feeding tentacles that have a reach of 10 ft.  If an opponent 2 Size Classes smaller than itself is within that range it can use them to make it's Tentacle Attack/Grapple Check.  If it's opponent is unaware of it or Denied it's Dexterity Bonus to AC, the Dire Cuttlefish gets a +4 Racial Bonus on the Attack roll, and subsequent Grapple Checks.

Poison (Ex): Injury, DC 12 Fort Save (Save DC is Con based), Initial and Secondary damage 1d4 Dex.

Chameleon (Ex): The Dire Cuttlefish gets a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks, and also has the Camouflage and Hide in Plan Sight abilities listed on page 46 of the PHB.

Ink (Ex): A Cuttlefish can emit a 10'x10'x10' cloud of black ink once per minute as a Free Action.  The cloud provides total concealment, and obscures all vision inside it.  They usually use this opportunity to flee. 

Jet (Ex): Once per round as a Full Action the Cuttlefish can jet backward 200 ft. in a straight line.  This movement does not provoke Attacks of Opportunity.

Skills: Dire Cuttlefish get a +10 Racial Bonus to Escape Artist Checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks.  They may always Take 10 on a Swim check even if distracted or endangered, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Cuttlefish like to hide or silently swim up behind their prey.  Smaller prey gets snatched by their feeding tentacles.  Larger prey is grappled in the more normal manner.



Giant Cutttlefish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be confronting the decay of modern society."

Smarter Than They Appear
"These are pets?"

"No so loud, we think they understand language.  They may even have one of their own based off color patterns."

"So you think they're intelligent?"

"Ssshh, they might be listening."

Oddly Cute

"So...about my question..."

"Old women  seem to think of them as alternative cats.  I've seen customers sing to them, or reach into the tank to pet them while making soft cooing  noises."

"Are these noble women?"

"Peasants can't afford aquariums."
« Last Edit: July 24, 2022, 07:12:33 PM by bhu »