Jesters Realm Critters

[bhu]

THE NOBLE PLATYPI


   
"No! I wanna holler the loud funny words! I LIKE DARIN, HE IS MY FRIEND!(points to opponents) I LIKE YOU, AND HIM! HE LIKES ME! AND I LIKE HIM! HE LIKES YOU I HOoooPE! I LIKE HIS AUTOGRAPH, IT IS A NICE PICTURE! HE,,,IIIS...NIIICE! "

 The Noble Platypi are cute but somewhat iffily tempered humanoid Platypus creatures.  They like to wrassle.  Like, reeeeally like to wrassle.  It's how they make most decisions, settle disputes, and conduct international diplomacy.

PLATYPI SPECIES TRAITS
·   +2 Str, -2 Int and Wis
·   Size Class: Small.  +1 Size Bonus to Armor Class and Attack Rolls. +4 Size Bonus to Hide Checks. -4 Size Penalty to Bull Rush, Grapple, Overrun, and Trip Checks. Lifting and Carrying Limits are half those of a Medium character.
·   Type: Monstrous Humanoid, giving them 60 ft. Darkvision
·   Base Land speed 20 ft.
·   Base Swim speed 20 ft.
·   Base Burrow speed 5 ft.
·   Hold Breath (Ex): The Platypi can Hold it's breath for (8 times Constitution Modifier) rounds before it risks drowning or suffocation.
·   Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save negates (Save DC is 10 plus 1/2 HD plus Constitution Modifier), Initial damage is Stunned due to pain until he needs to make the next Save for Secondary Damage (which is a -4 penalty to all rolls for 1d6 days).  Platypi can deliver their venom with a successful Spur attack 3/day.
·   Blindsense (Ex): Platypi can sense all living beings within 30 ft.while underwater as if they had Blindsight.
·   Platypi have a Primary Spur Attack doing 1d3 plus their Strength Modifier.
·   Platypi receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line. 
·    Platypi automatically speak Furry, and Common.  Bonus languages include Feathery, Scaly, Sylvan, and nearby races.
·   Level Adjustment: +2
·   Favored Class: Wrassler

STARTING AGE
 Adulthood: 14
 Barbarian, Rogue, Sorcerer: +1d4
 Bard, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger: +1d6
 Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard: +2d6

AGING EFFECTS
 Middle Age: 30
 Old: 45
 Venerable: 60
 Maximum Age: +2d10 years

HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
 Base Height: Male: 3'0" Female: 2'10"
 Height Modifier: +2d4"
 Base Weight: Male: 40 lbs. Female: 35 lbs.
 Weight Modifier: x1 lb.

PLATYPI CHARACTERS
 If you want to play a character who is good at Grappling despite being small, go with a Platypus.  They're even crazy enough to wrassle things bigger than themselves.
 Adventuring Race: Most Platypi go on adventures to prove themselves, or right some sort of wrong.  Rarely one might be in it for the money or glory, but the most common reasons are self worth or justice.
 Character Development: Platypi tend to be simple common folk who enjoy a good bit of unarmed whackery as entertainment.  Most belong to classes relying on combat or fighting (Fighter, Ranger, Wrassler, or Scout).  Not many Arcane casters live in the boonies where the Platypi call home, and as a result most of their casting types are Divine.
 Character Names: Males: Albert, Alfred, Amos, Arthur, Basil, Bill, Cliff, Clive, Colin, Duncan, George, Gordon, Harold, Jim, John, Oliver, Percy, Sidney, Stanley, Thomas, Wallace, William.  Female: Agnes, Alice, Audrey, Barbara, Bess, Betsy, Claire, Daphne, Dolly, Fanny, Francis, Gladys, Gloria, Harriet, Hazel, Jane, Lucy, Martha, Mary, Nelly, Polly, Sally, Sheila, and Wanda.  Surnames: Usually based on something the family has long been famous for.  For example a family of famous wrestlers might be known as the Tuggers.

ROLEPLAYING A PLATYPI
 As a Platypus, you're fairly exotic, and will attract lots of attention, most of it unwanted.  You'll also have lots of jerks calling you a duck or a beaver, or some other critter you aren't even vaguely related to.  Stupidity should be a crime, honestly.  And if it ever is, may the Gawds help the world if you get appointed Judge.
 Personality: Platypi are calm and laid back (well, until wrasslin' day), and prefer others be that way as well.  Most people who know them are shocked when they see their celebrations.  They give no mercy in fights though, even when it isn't to the death.
 Behaviors: Platypi don't like being ordered, and react not so well to insults.  But they prefer brawling or wrestling to solving their problems instead of actual lethal violence.  Stylized incoherency is also both a favored prank on strangers, and a sort of sport among them.
 Language: Platypi speak their own dialect of Furry, much like the other Furry races.

PLATYPI SOCIETY
Platypi prefer to go exploring in the water.  They like their entertainment loud and physical.  Wrestling is studied by both sexes, often from childhood.  Modern style professional wrestling with it's storylines and over the top goofiness is ingrained in their culture, and giving incoherent rambling interviews is a common past time.  ("MY OPPONENT IS FEEBLE!  HIS MIND IS LIKE A LITTLE PLANE, AND I TOOK CONTROL OF THAT PLANE AND TOLD IT TO ...")
 Alignment : Platypi are generally Neutral with the more fun loving sort drifting towards Chaotic or Good tendencies. 
 Lands : Platypus usually live in fairly harsh warm weather areas near local rivers and waterways, or on the oceanside.
 Settlements : If Platypi settle anywhere, it's somewhere warm and near plenty of water.  Preferably with as few troublesome people as possible.
 Beliefs :Platypi are nature and spirit worshipers.  As such they have many Druids and Spirit Shamans among them, but precious few Clerics (and those are converts).  Unless those Clerics worship the Wrasslin' Gawds.
 Relations: Platypi don't get along so well with larger species, because bigger critters tend to try to bully them.  But if you don't give them grief they will be loyal to the death.

PLATYPI ADVENTURES
·   Local Wrasslin' legend Bob "Nipple Crusher" Harris has been found slain.  This will not do.  You and the brothers have been summoned to kick some behind until his murderer is found.
·   The local government needs some good Masked Wrasslers to ferret out spies sabotaging the local water supply.  Goodness knows why they're asking you, but they always seem to go to Masked Wrasslers for help.
·   The local buttheads came to a celebration in your town and called everyone ducks.  You aren't ducks.  You're Platypi.  And they're gonna pay. 


PLATYPI SPECIES SUBSTITUTION LEVELS

Ranger
 Level 2, 6, 11: Gain additional option with Combat Style
  Combat Style (Ex): When choosing the Rangers combat style you can also choose Brawler.  You get the following Feats: Improved Unarmed Strike (2nd level, see Tome of Battle), Superior Unarmed Strike (6th Level), and Stunning Fist (11th Level)


Barbarian
 Level 1: Replace Rage with Poison Rage
  Poison Rage (Ex): You suffer the usual penalties for Rage, but instead of the normal benefits you gain the following: +2 to Will Saves, +1 to the Save DC of your Poison Attack and 1 additional daily use of your Poison (this stacks with Feats that increase the Save DC of your Poison), and +4 to Strength.
 Level 11: Replace Greater Rage with Greater Poison Rage
  Greater Poison Rage (Ex): +3 to Will Saves, +2 to the Save DC of your Poison Attack and 2 additional daily uses of your Poison (this stacks with Feats that increase the Save DC of your Poison), and +6 to Strength.
 Level 20: Replace Mighty Rage with Mighty Poison Rage
  Mighty Poison Rage (Ex): +4 to Will Saves, +3 to the Save DC of your Poison Attack and 3 additional daily uses of your Poison (this stacks with Feats that increase the Save DC of your Poison), and +8 to Strength.


Hexblade
 Level 4: Replace Familiar with Poison Stare
  Poison Stare (Su): You may use a daily use of your Hexblade's Curse to deliver a dose of your species venom instead.  Range remains same, Save DC is the same for your poison, you do not need to injure him for the poison to take effect.


PLATYPI FEATS



Titan Wrassler
You wrassle anything, no matter how big.
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Clever Wrestling
 Benefits: Your Clever Wrestling Feat no longer has Small or Medium Size as a Prerequisite.  Also your Bonus applies to all Grapple Checks, not just the escape attempts.


Gut Kick
Your kicks are a prelude to disaster
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Improved Grapple
 Benefits: Whenever you successfully hit an opponent with an Unarmed Strike, you may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.


Raging Bear Hug
People sometimes confuse your insane hatred for affection, but only very briefly...
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Rage, Improved Grapple
 Benefits: You do +1d6 damage on a successful Grapple Check when Raging.
 

Water Wrasslin'
You are well trained at fighting underwater.
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Improved Unarmed Strike
 Benefits: You don't take melee attack penalties when fighting underwater, and can Hold your breath for (12 times Con Modifier rounds) before you risk drowning.


Enhanced Blindsense
Your electrically sensitive bill is more sensitive than usual.
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Con 13+, Wis 13+
 Benefits: Your Blindsense range increases to 60 ft.


Blindsense Mastery
You have a zen like awareness of your surroundings.
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Enhanced Blindsense
 Benefits: Your Blindsense now works on land, and you cannot be flanked.


Nasty Venom (Epic)
You can really lay people out.
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Con 20+
 Benefits:  Secondary effect of your venom is Paralysis for 1d6 days as opposed to a penalty to rolls.


Incoherency
Your rants tend to make people avoid you...
 Prerequisites: Platypi, Cha 15+
 Benefits: As an Immediate Action you can make an Intimidate Check vs any Charisma Based Skill Check your opponent is making (you get a +2 Competence Bonus to the roll, this doesn't work against Iaijutsu Focus or Use Magic Device) while delivering a psychotic nonsensical rant that has in no way anything to do with a question you've been asked or whatever your opponent is saying.  If you succeed, not only does his check fail, but he has to make a Willpower Save (DC is 10 plus 1/2 HD plus Charisma Modifier) or decide further attempts are pointless as you are far too insane for it to work.




PLATYPUS FOLK
Before fleeing to the Jester's Realm, the Furry races (including Platypus Folk) came from a world where Humans and the Furry Peoples were eternally at war.  With the humans on the verge of wiping the Furry Peoples out, the Jester offered them a new home.  They were quick to accept.

WRASSLIN' ENTHUSIASTS
The Platypus Folk are anthropomorphic Platypus' about the size of Gnomes.  They tend to be animated, and a bit manic.  They are known for saying "There is no problem that can't be fixed by a good, long Sugar Hold."  And then for putting you in a Sugar Hold...

WOOOO!
Platypus Folk are stereotyped by others as being fairly 'live and let live'.  Which leaves them shocked come the weekend, when the wrasslin' matches are held.  It is during this time the Platypi undergo a seeming transformation, wearing bright tights and masks, and calling themselves names like 'Captain Electricity.'

Platypus Folk are travelers, always looking for promising new grappling techniques.  They are quite obsessed with the fine art of grappling.  They also consider cutting ever more incoherent promos as fine art, and can often be seen practicing them.  Usually much to the confusion and terror of those nearby.

PLATYPUS FOLK NAMES
Platypus families are well known for sometimes naming themselves after their ancestral Finishing Move.

Male Names. Albert, Alfred, Amos, Arthur, Basil, Bill, Cliff, Clive, Colin, Duncan, George, Gordon, Harold, Jim, John, Oliver, Percy, Sidney, Stanley, Thomas, Wallace, William.

Female Names. Agnes, Alice, Audrey, Barbara, Bess, Betsy, Claire, Daphne, Dolly, Fanny, Francis, Gladys, Gloria, Harriet, Hazel, Jane, Lucy, Martha, Mary, Nelly, Polly, Sally, Sheila, and Wanda.

Family Names. Usually based on something the family has long been famous for.  For example a family of famous wrestlers might be known as the Tuggers.

PLATYPUS FOLK TRAITS

Ability Score Increase. Increase your Strength by +2, and your Constitution score by +1.

Age. Platypus Folk reach adulthood in their late teens and live less than a century.

Alignment. Most Platypus Folk are Neutral, and a good many are Chaotic as well.

Type. You are a Humanoid.

Size. You are Small.  You are between 3 and 4 feet tall and weigh around 40 pounds

Speed. Your walking speed is 30 feet, and you have a swimming speed equal to your walking speed. 

Hold Breath. You can hold your breath for 15 minutes.

Blindsight. You have blindsight with a range of 5 feet.

YAR!. You may Grapple a creature of any size, but you can only force movement on a Large or smaller creature.

My Spurs Go Jingle Jangle Jingle. You have sharp spurs that you can use to make unarmed strikes. When you hit with it, the strike deals 1d4 + your Strength or Dexterity modifier (whichever is higher) piercing damage, instead of the bludgeoning damage normal for an unarmed strike.  Additionally, if the target is a creature, it must mak a Constitution Save against Poison (Save DC is 8 + your Proficiency Bonus + your Constitution Modifier).  If it fails, it is Incapacitated for 1 Minute.  The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success.

Languages. You speak, read and write Furry, and any one other language of your choice.



PRACTICED INCOHERENCY  
As a Reaction you can make a Charisma (Intimidate) Check vs any Charisma Based Skill Check or Wisdom (Insight) Check your opponent is making while delivering a psychotic nonsensical rant that has in no way anything to do with a question you've been asked or whatever your opponent is saying.  If you succeed in the contest, not only does your opponents check fail, but they decide further attempts are pointless as you are far too insane for it to work.  You increase your Charisma score by +1, to a maximum of 20.  If you are not Proficient with Charisma (Intimidate) Checks, you become Proficient.  If you were already Proficient you gain Expertise.


Basset Folk
"Thank you sir.  Come on Jim, time we  were moving."

Bringing The Pain
"I knew I should have bought a Hat of Disguise..."

"Watch where yer goin' buddy."

"Sorry about that Sir, we'll be out of your way in a second."

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

"Well...no."

"I'M BIG JOHNNY MEME!"

"Can we interview you later? We were just skipping town..."

"NO ONE DISRESPECTS THE MEME!"

"Sir you are making an error in judgement..."


WOO!

"I'M NOT JUST A PLATYPUS!  I'M AN INSTITUTION!"

"Oookay...I think we've lost the plot here..."

"DON'T BUY ANY UNRIPE BANANAS, YEAH!  'CAUSE YOU WON'T LIVE TO EAT 'EM!"

"Harlan, I think we should just teleport out..."

[bhu]

Atlas Hamster
                      Fine Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             6d10+18 (51 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft., Burrow 10 ft., Swim 10 ft.
Armor Class:          21 (+8 Size, +3 Dex), touch 21, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+16
Attack:               Nip +24 melee (10 points)
Full Attack:          Nip +24 melee (10 points)
Space/Reach:          1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Natural Born Wrassler
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Beast of Burden
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Climb +18, Hide +19, Jump +11, Listen +6, Move Silently +6, Spot +5, Swim +18
Feats:                Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack
Environment:          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Group (3-6), or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Diminutive)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Abner, that fat mouse is making off with the supplies."

"Thet's Sandy's new pet.  Says it ain't no mouse, it's a Hamster.  Named it Charles."

"Whut kinda name is that fer a mouse?"

Atlas Hamsters for once appear to be a completely normal mutation of nature (i.e. no caster will admit to making them).  Originally the scourge of the continent, the super powered Hamsters spread quickly, ruining crops and grain stores.  But an enterprising farmer found out they were easily trainable, and as long as they were well fed they were better pack animals than mules once trained. 

Natural Born Wrassler (Ex): Atlas Hamsters take no Size penalties to Grapple or Trip Checks, and can make a Grapple Checks without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Beast of Burden (Ex):  Atlas Hamsters are considered to be huge for purposes of determining their carrying abilities.

Skills: Atlas Hamsters gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen Checks.  They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

Combat: Atlas Hamsters usually prefer to Grapple similar sized or not much bigger opponents.  They bite and flee otherwise, but opponents who catch them are in for a helluva surprise.  They will fight to death if cornered or in defense of their young.



Atlas Hamster
"It's a good thing we found these caves.  That is one nasty storm."

Related To Pack Mice?
"I wonder if those little furballs are the Hamsters that were mentioned earlier?"

"They don't seem frightened of us."

"What are they doing with the Hairbeast?"

Strong as a Tarrasque

"YORP!"

"They appear to be carrying it off."

"Time to break out the trail mix and make some new friends..."

[bhu]

Pack Mouse
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             1/2d10+1 (3 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (+4 Size, +4 Dex), touch 18, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-16
Attack:               Bite +9 melee (1 point)
Full Attack:          Bite +9 melee (1 point)
Space/Reach:          1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Shadow Cache
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills:               Balance +12, Climb +12, Hide +20, Listen +4, Move Silently +8, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Group (3-6), Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          1 HD (Diminutive)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"AWRIGHT YOU FURRY LIL BASTIDS WHERE'S OUR STUFF!"

"Uhh...Abner I don't think the critters speak Common much less understand it.."

"THE HELL THEY DON'T!"

Pack Mice are small mouse-like critters who steal whatever isn't nailed down and hide it in an extra-dimensional pocket space.  They are considered an unholy nuisance since they take food and necessary items, and hide them where they basically can't be found.  They appear to be more intelligent than animals, and some whisper that the Pack Mice have their own secret language and they just pretend to be dumb around us big folk.

Shadow Cache (Su): Pack Mice can cast Shadow Cache at will.  Caster Level is 4th, and if the Mouse dies the Cache ejects it's contents back onto the Plane of origin.  Unlike the spell this does not deposit items on the Shadow Plane, but onto a small pocket dimension created by the Mouse.

Skills:  Pack Mice gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Move Silently Checks.  They also gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  They use their Dex modifier for Climb Checks.

Combat: Pack Mice don't fight, they run away.  After stealing you blind.  Then they come back after you've calmed down, and rob you again.  Sometimes they pee on you while you're sleeping.  Unless you're a mage get used to it, cause the little boogers are hard to pin down.



Pack Mouse
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be attempting to ascertain just how intelligent Apodemus ruptor is, better known as the common Pack Mouse.

Burgling Rodents

"As will be commonly known to our viewing audience, Pack Mice steal food and other items and conceal them within the Shadowfell.."

"Do we believe they came by this naturally, or are they merely another magical experiment?."

"All scholarly work points towards them having evolved Harlan."


Furballs of the Shadowfell

"Strange.  How go the experiments?"

"So far they've stolen everything we meant to test them with.  We were going to bribe them with food to get it back, but they've stolen the food.   All I've got left is the shirt on my back. Literally.  They have somehow stolen my pants."


Shadow Cache
3rd Level Conjuration (Ritual)
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 Hour
You can temporarily stash small items on the Shadowfell or permanently dispose of them there.
This spell opens a small portal to the Plane of Shadow that is invisible on the Material Plane and a small disk on the Plane of Shadow. You can reach into the Shadowfell through the portal created by shadow cache, but only small, nonliving objects may pass entirely through the hole.  You can recover objects placed in the portal throughout the duration of the spell, or by casting another shadow cache later.  The shadow cache remains stationary at the point where you create it.  The spell cannot be cast on the Shadowfell itself, but only on planes coexistent with the Shadowfell.

[bhu]

Stout Stoat aka the Fat Ferret aka the Weighty Weasel
                      Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             2d10+4 (15 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/-6 (+6 when using Weight Manipulation)
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d3)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d3)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Attach, Bloat
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, Weight Manipulation
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 15
Skills:               Climb +4, Hide +7, Listen +4, Move Silently +2, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Temperate Hills and Forests
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment:     ---

The local critters look damn well fed Abner..."

These magically evolved (enhanced?) furballs seem somehow able to increase the weight of themselves or others.  It makes for an excellent defense, and enables the pudgy lil critters to chase down those darn chikins...  True to their name, they resemble pudgy members of the mustelid family.

Attach (Ex):  If a Stoat hits with it's bite attack, it uses its jaws to latch onto the opponent’s body. An attached Stoat is effectively grappling its prey. The Stoat loses its Dexterity bonus to AC and has an AC of 14, but holds on with great tenacity.

An attached Stoat can be struck with a weapon or grappled itself. To remove an attached Stoat through grappling, the opponent must achieve a pin against the Stoat.

Bloat (Su): At will as a Swift Action the Stout Stoat can increase an opponents body weight by 1000 pounds (range is 60 ft.) if the opponent fails a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based).  This weight adds to the opponents Encumbrance and may well cause penalties similar to carrying extreme loads (see PHB page 161). If this raises the targets weight above it's Maximum Load (see PHB), the target loses any Dexterity bonus to AC and can move only 5 feet per round (as a full-round action). If the targets new weight exceeds double it's Maximum Load, it is Paralyzed, and takes 1d6 non-lethal damage per round.  The Stoat may keep this up so long as it can Concentrate (similar to casting a spell with the Concentration Duration), up to a maximum of 1 Minute.

Weight Manipulation (Su): At will as a Swift Action the Stout Stoat can increase it's own body weight to roughly 1000 pounds. 
Whenever a Stoat is subject to a size modifier or special size modifier for an opposed check (such as during grapple checks, bull rush attempts, and trip attempts), the Stoat is treated as Size Category Large if doing so is advantageous to it.  The benefits of this stack with the effects of powers, abilities, and spells that change the Stoats size category.  The Stoat may keep this up so long as it can Concentrate (similar to casting a spell with the Concentration Duration), up to a maximum of 1 Minute.

Skills: Stout Stoats have a +4 Racial Bonus to Climb and Hide Checks.

Combat:  Stoats will increase an opponents weight to slow him down so they can escape.  If they get caught they increase their own weight and go for the Grapple.  Nothing like a ferret suddenly increasing to half a ton in weight as it leaps on you.




Stout Stoat
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Orcish farmer Bob Jenkins, as he tries some innovative ways to keep the local magical weasels from his hen house."

Ferrets Luv Chikin

"Greetings Farmer Jenkins.  What sort of powers do these critters have?"

"They's fattenin'."

"You eat them?"

"If I may interject, I believe he's referring to their purported ability to manipulate weight."


Thousand Pound Marauders

"Weight manipulation?"

"They appear to be able to manipulate the weight of themselves and others.  They're also fairly tactical  and cunning in it's use."

"How, pray tell, does Farmer Jenkins intend to combat this?"

"Ghosts.  I've hired a necromancer."

[bhu]

https://preview.redd.it/bdplmzcfv6x41.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=6e08fd094e49e9cad1612a478e0790edd154ab53

Shark Bird
                      Tiny Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             1d10 (5 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good), Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-4
Attack:               Bite +4 melee (1d3-1 plus bleeding)
Full Attack:          Bite +4 melee (1d3-1 plus bleeding)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Wounding Bite
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Amphibious, Keen Scent
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 8, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +6, Move Silently +5, Spot +12, Swim +7
Feats:                Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Any Warm except Desert or Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-20)
Challenge Rating:     1/2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---


Shark Bird Flock
                      Tiny Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             8d10 (36 hp)
Initiative:           +7
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good), Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +8/-
Attack:               Swarm (2d6 plus bleeding)
Full Attack:          Swarm (2d6 plus bleeding)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Wounding Bite, Distraction
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Amphibious, Keen Scent, Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing Weapons
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 8, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Spot +15, Swim +10
Feats:                Alertness, Flyby Attack, Improved Initiative
Environment:          Any Warm except Desert or Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Ah've always hated birds Bert.  But this is the first time Ah've never liked fishin'..."

Shark Birds are magical crosses between sparrows or some similar avian, and White Sharks.  They tend to swarm when food is nearby, and are much more aggressive in groups than when alone.  Alone they'll pick on similar sized prey.  In a feeding frenzy, groups of them will strip cattle (or their owners) clean.

Wounding Bite (ex): Opponents successfully bitten by the Shark Bird (or it's Swarm Attack if attacked by a Swarm) loses 1 hp per round until they are healed by a spell, or someone makes a DC 15 Heal Check.  This is not cumulative per bite.

Distraction (Ex): Living opponents vulnerable to the Shark Bird Swarms damage who begin the round in it's area must make a DC 14 Fortitude Swarm or be Nauseated 1 round.  Spellcasting or Concentrating on Spells requires a Concentration Check (DC 20 plus Spell Level), and using skills requiring patience and concentration require a DC 20 Concentration Check.

Keen Scent (Ex): This is identical to the regular Scent ability, but the Shark Bird can also scent blood from up to 1 mile away.

Skills: Shark Birds gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Spot and Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim Check. 

Combat: Lone Shark Birds tend to leave larger prey alone unless starving.  Swarms will attack anything, covering it and biting it into submission after making a few Flyby attacks.





Shark Bird
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim is investigating a new coastal bird species rumoured to be terrorizing Florida."

The Toothy Menace

"Greetings from inside my cube of force Harlan.  I'm here with Dill Bob, local town mayor.  When did you discover this new species sir?"

"The local druids got all twitchy after accusing us of 'polluting' the local waters about the same time Prak published his book."

"Oh Jebus..."

"So what are they?"


Duh Duh

"Shark and bird combo.  Nasty one too."

"Have you taken any precautionary measures?"

"We're having a Bard curse the flocks as we find them.  Give them their own personal theme music so they can't sneak up on us."

"So I presume they've been troublesome?"

"You are in a cube of force Jim."

"That's pretty much standard issue for me from now on."

"Probably a good idea."

[bhu]

Bee-Holder
Medium Humanoid
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft (6 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+4
Attack: By Dagger +5 melee (1d4+2 plus Poison, 19-20) or Spear +5 melee (1d8++2/x3 plus Poison) or Dart +5 ranged (1d4+1)
Full Attack: By Dagger +5 melee (1d4+2 plus Poison, 19-20) or Spear +5 melee (1d8++2/x3 plus Poison) or Dart +5 ranged (1d4+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Spells, Bee Weapons, BEES!, Curse of the Hive Lord
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Bee Kinship, Immunities
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +4
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 16, Cha 10
Skills: Climb +3, Craft (any 1, usually distilling) +6, Handle Animal +4, Knowledge (Local, Nature) +6, Profession (Farmer, Beekeeper) +8, Survival +7
Feats: Ability Focus (Curse of the Hive Lord), Extend Spell
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class (usually Druid)
Level Adjustment: -----

”Yew tried ta put yer hand on mah dotter!“

"No sir, I can explain."

"It better be good."

"She fell, I was just helping her up."

"Sir, mah brother Abner bin married 7 times.  He's done with wimmenfolk."

"That why the sword yer wearin' says 'Divorce Lawyer' in Elven boy?"

"Yessir.  All seven wives been curses to me.  Literally curses.  I was Cursed or Dominated into marryin' 'em.  Plus, the last one cursed me so that birds hate me."

"That explains the stains on yer shirt...Awright if you bin cursed that bad I don't spose there's much we could do to ya what ain't already bin done.  You take off down the road now, and mind the bee hives.  Don't come back now, ya hear?"

10 minutes later

"You uh...you really are done with wimmen aren't you Abner?"

"Ah learned mah lessons Bert.  Remember when that Hag mind controlled me?  Or the Medusa?  Or the Marrylith?"

"I think it's Marilith."

"Ah don't care how it's pronounced, she tried ta eat mah intestines."

The Bee-Holders are an agrarian rural society based around raising bees for honey (and various less social purposes).  They appear as typical human farmers, and have a society quite similar with two exceptions: They get along well with giant bees, and they are strict vegetarians (though they do love honey). 

While they are normally content to remain to themselves, contact with them is unadvisable.  On the best of days they are a touch xenophobic, and always assume that outsiders have come to steal their women.  Or their whiskey.  Or the bees.  Why they fear anyone stealing giant ticked off bees is anyone's guess.  It also doesn't help that the name people choose for them is easily confused with a bug eyed monster race hellbent on world domination.  Bee Holders speak Common and Elven (some also speak Sylvan).  They are proficient with the same armor and weapons as most Druids are as well as being proficient with bees (see below).


Spells: Bee-Holders can cast spells as a Druid whose level is equal to their Hit Dice.  If they take levels in Druid their Hit Dice stack with these levels for spellcasting purposes.  Perfect for your CoDzilla needs...

Bee Weapons (Su): By making a melee touch attack successfully against a Giant Bee the Bee-Holder can change it into a weapon if it fails a DC 12 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Charisma based), which most willingly do since they know whats happening and are used to this (they can be turned back as a Swift Action).  Normal sized honeybees can be turned into Masterwork darts.  Big Bees (see below for stats) can be turned into a Dagger of Venom (save DC for the Poison is equal to 10 plus 1/2 the Bee-Holders HD plus his Con Modifier).  Giant Bees (see the Monster Manual) can be turned into +1 Returning Venomous Spears (see Magic Item Compendium for Venomous, Save DC for poison is still 10 plus 1/2 the Bee-Holders HD plus his Con Modifier). So while the old man with the huge bee setting in his lap may seem crazy, it's probably best to leave him well enough alone.

BEES! (Su): At will as a supernatural ability the Bee-Holder can summon all the bees from a single hive within 60 ft. to attack an opponent.  This is similar to the Summon Swarm spell but lasts for the duration of the encounter, and the Bee-Holder can control the Swarm (they can only summon one swarm at a time).  In their home territory an average square mile can contain a few hundred hives.  You get an idea of where this is going...(see below for Bee Swarm stats).

Curse of the Hive Lord (Su): Once per day the Bee-Holder can curse one opponent within 60 ft if they fail a DC 17 Willpower Save (Save DC is Wisdom based).  If the opponent fails the Save, Bees consider him an enemy on sight forevermore and will immediately attack him and fight to the death.  This includes regular bees, Big Bees and Giant Bees, bee monsters etc.  The Curse may be removed by Remove Curse, Break Enchantment, Miracle, or Wish.

Bee Kinship (Ex): Bee-Holders can communicate with Bees via telepathy at a range of 100 ft.  All spells they cast that specifically target Animals may also target Bees.  Bees of any kind (swarm or giant) are automatically friendly towards Bee-Holders, and many will defend them even without being asked to.  Basically we're saying Giant Bees are like big puppies to them. 

Immunities: Bee-Holders are immune to Poison and Paralysis.  Odd considering they've never been stung enough to build up any immunity.  Rumor has it they occasionally suck poison from the bees stinger glands, but those are probably rumors spread by bigoted outsiders.

Combat: Bee-Holders prefer to avoid fights, since violence attracts violence.  But they are also temperamental and easily angered in certain ways (don't touch their bees, their liquor, their women, or their honey).  If this happens they summon bees, back them up with spells, and maybe turn a few into weapons and join the fray.  Let's hope your stock of antitoxin is full up, or you've got some Neutralize Poison spells.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Geography or Local) may know of the Bee-Holders. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DCs.

DC|Lore 15| Bee-Holders look like regular people, but bees like them and are like tame pets to them.  They are also excellent makers of mead and whiskey (and various other crafts), and not partial to outsiders on their land. 20| Bee-Holders are proficient spellcasters who can summon bees.  Their women folk tend to be jealously guarded, and are the cause of much friction between them and nearby societies. 25| Bee-Holders can turn bees into temporary magical weapons.

Plot Hook

• The local town has offended a neighboring Bee-Holder city, so the Bee-Holders have stopped selling them alcohol.  The PC's are hired to retrieve some whiskey, but find the Bee-Holders have reason for being angry:  One of the townsfolk got drunk, and urinated in the whiskey vats.  That's a waste of good whiskey.  The Bee-Holders actually offer the PC's more money if they'll bring the fool to justice.   
• One of the PC's has the night of his life at a local inn, only to discover all his newfound friends are Bee-Holders.  And married.  Not to the PC of course.  Pretty soon you're all running like hell...
• The town awakes to find it's mayor dead with a bee buried in his chest.  They want blood.  The PC's are fairly certain the Bee-Holders didn't do it, since they've befriended them (against all odds), but there may be a crazy one among them.  Now they must find out who did this and why.
• The local giant bees are dying and the Bee-Holders have hired the PC's to put a stop to it. 

Bee-Holders

"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are visiting a famous local apiary."

"Good afternoon sir, we understand you're the local beekeepers of note?"

"Ayuh.  We got yer reglar bees, yer large bees, and yer giant bees.  We also got some specialty bees."

"Specialty bees?."

"Bees what are special."

"Any chance we can get a tour for our viewers?"

Weird, Even For Druids

"Ah spose.  Them over  thar s yer plain, old reglar bees."

"We understand you're a local Druidic community split off from the nearby city?"

"Local city is humans.  We look like humans, but we's not."

"Bur you are Druids?."

"We worship the Bee Gawds."

"That explains the statues."


More Than A Bad Pun

"Them thar over yonder is the large bees.."

"Those bees are the size of cats..."

"Can't wait to see the Giant Bees..."

Bee Swarm
                      Fine Vermin (Swarm)
Hit Dice:             3d8 (13 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                5 ft. (1 square), Fly 15 ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/-
Attack:               Swarm (1d6 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Swarm (1d6 plus poison)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison, Distraction
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Vermin Traits, Swarm Traits, Immune to weapon damage
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 15, Con 11, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Spot +5, Survival +1 (+5 for orientation)
Feats:                -
Environment:          Temperate or Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary or Swarm (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             No coins or items, 1/8 goods (honey only)
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:    ---

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Bees do swarm.  Really they do.  Especially when you kick their hives like a football.  You fool.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 11, Initial and Secondary damage is 1d4 Constitution.  Whenever the swarm attacks, it loses 1d8 hp as parts of it die.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn in the same square as a Swarm must make a DC 11 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on a spell within the swarms area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills that require patience or concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

Skills: Bees have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks and to Survival Checks made to orient themselves.

Combat:  Bee Swarms attack pretty much like any other swarm, by...well...swarming.





Big Bees
                      Tiny Vermin
Hit Dice:             1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 30 ft (Good)
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-12
Attack:               Sting +4 melee (1d3-4 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Sting +4 melee (1d3-4 plus poison)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Vermin Traits
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 11, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Spot +5, Survival +1 (+5 for orientation)
Feats:                Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Temperate or Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary or Swarm (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     1/2
Treasure:             No coins or items, 1/8 goods (honey only)
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:    ---

"OMFG WHO GAVE THE BEES STEROIDS!"

Big Bees are foot long bees magically enhanced over generations to serve as passive guardians that attack anything within their territory.  They also don't die when they sting and are more aggressive than regular bees.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 13, Initial and Secondary damage is 1d4 Constitution.

Skills: Bees have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks and to Survival Checks made to orient themselves.

Combat: Big Bees fight to the death unless opponents are moving away from their hives.  Mostly they do flyby attacks with their stings.




Big Bee Swarm
                      Tiny Vermin (Swarm)
Hit Dice:             6d8 (27 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 30 ft (Good)
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/-
Attack:               Swarm (2d6 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Swarm (2d6 plus poison)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison, Distraction
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Vermin Traits, Swarm Traits, Half damage from slashing and piercing
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 11, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Spot +5, Survival +1 (+5 for orientation)
Feats:                -
Environment:          Temperate or Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary or Swarm (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             No coins or items, 1/8 goods (honey only)
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:    ---

"...avenge me..."

Big Bee swarms are quite obviously a hazard in some areas.  It helps if you don't try making your campfire underneath their nest.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 13, Initial and Secondary damage is 1d6 Constitution. 

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn in the same square as a Swarm must make a DC 13 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on a spell within the swarms area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills that require patience or concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

Skills (Ex): Bees have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot Checks and to Survival Checks made to orient themselves.

Combat: Big Bee Swarms don't die as quickly as regular bee swarms, which makes fighting them a bit more of a problem.

[bhu]

http://bp0.blogger.com/_MBxUwykY0To/SB93SnJFn2I/AAAAAAAAAdA/SpiE6t4Saxs/s1600-h/squid+monster.jpg

Pet Tentacle Monster
                      Huge Aberration (Amphibious, Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             8d8+40 (76 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good), Swim 60 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (-2 Size, +3 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+24
Attack:               Tentacle +14 melee (1d8+10)
Full Attack:          4 Tentacles +14 melee (1d8+10)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Constrict, Frightful Presence
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Fast Healing 3
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +9
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 16, Con 20, Int 8, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills:               Hide +4, Listen +5, Search +5, Spot +5, Swim +18
Feats:                Flyby Attack, Hover, Swim-By Attack
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Any, but usually Chaotic, and usually not Good
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert, do we have to ride these?"

"Ah know what you mean.  If one'a these things grabs the wimmen we're gonna have some explainin' to do."

"Listen up you racist bastards..."

The unfortunately named pet tentacle monsters (real name Tentamenta) resemble huge green octopi with two sets of eyes (one of which is on stalks), varying amounts of tentacles, and usually different sorts of horns or spikes in their skin.  Most people assume they mean bad news for the local women due to certain popular fictions, and the Tentacle Monsters are intelligent enough to realize this and be mightily offended thereby.   

Easily domesticated (bribed), they often serve as mounts (hired taxis) for people.  They submit to this out of curiosity regarding the weird human critters, and many a rider has been surprised when his mistreated 'pet' grabs him and throws him off at five thousand feet in the air.  Or flies into an ocean deliberately.  They're even more shocked when they realize their 'pet' can talk, and has understood all their racist jokes at it's expense.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Pet Tentacle Monster successfully hits with it's Tentacle Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it is successful it may Constrict.

Constrict (Ex): The Pet Tentacle Monster does 1d6+10 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Frightful Presence (Ex): Due to their undeserved reputation,  any corporeal intelligent creature within 30 feet of a Tentacle Monster whose HD is less than the monsters must make a DC 17 Willpower Check (Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Shaken for the duration of the encounter (if the monster can make a Grapple Check in a surprise attack before this ability is triggered they are Frightened instead).  If the Save is successful the opponent is immune to this Pet Tentacle Monsters Frightful Presence for 24 hours.

Skills: Pet Tentacle Monsters gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.  PTM's also gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Search Checks.

Combat: PTM's generally fight by making Flyby Attacks.  Experienced ones are good at snatching opponents on the fly.  Then they are crushed or dropped somewhere hurty, or drowned casually.   The PTM's may not be evil for the most part, but it's still a really good idea not to make them angry.



Pet Tentacle Monster
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we're fleeing a congregation of Hell Giraffes on flying critters."

Victims of Unspeakable Rumors
"What are these Mr. Zanzibar?"

"They're very colorful."

"Not sure, we just call 'em tentacle monsters."

Up And Coming Political Activists

"The Zoological Society is unsure?  But you use them to convey people around the park"

"This is most unusual."

"Sorry, I'm just a guide, I don't know the inner workings."

"You could always ask us."

"This does not sound like domesticated wildlife..."

"Yeah, they talk sometimes."

"DEATH TO THE BOURGEOISIE!"

"And now a word from our sponsors!"

[bhu]

http://fxb.worth1000.com/entries/560477/fish-fur

Swarm Fish
                      Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm, Amphibious, Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             6d10 (33 hp)
Initiative:           +7
Speed:                Fly 30 ft. (6 squares, Good), Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Deflection), touch 18, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/-
Attack:               Swarm (2d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (2d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Swarm Traits, Immune to Weapon Damage, Adoption, Planar Adaptation, Plane Shift
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 16, Con 11, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +4
Feats:                Ability Focus (Distraction), Improved Initiative, Iron Will
Environment:          Any except Desert or Cold
Organization:         Solitary (plus potential adoptee)
Challenge Rating:    3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert that woman comin' over here is wearin' fish."

"Ayuh."

"Think she's fixin' to yell at us fer fishin'?"

"Prolly."

Swarm Fish are an alien fish species found flying between Planes.  They seem to need little in the way of food, and aren't really picky about what they munch on, often satisfied with organic detritus.  Many clean their adopted person of dead skin cells. 

For whatever reason the fish tend to adopt humanoids who are willing and do not harm the swarms members.  In exchange for defending the humanoid, they get to share it's food and living space.  Most continually surround their adoptee, and from a distance look like living clothes.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature susceptible to the swarms damage beginning it's turn in the swarms area must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round (Save DC is Constitution based).  Their Adopted Humanoid is immune to this, so long as they never betray the fish.

Adoption (Ex): Swarm Fish will bond to and adopt any Humanoid who allows them to be enveloped for 24 hours by them.  They will keep pace with, and hover about, that individual giving it partial concealment, as well as sharing their +1 Deflection Bonus to AC with it.  They will stay with that person as long as they are treated well and have plenty of food.  Despite rumors of starving Swarm Fish eating their adoptee this has never been proven.

Planar Adaptation (Ex): Swarm Fish immediately adapt to whatever Plane they enter as if they had the effects of a permanent Avoid Planar Effects spell.  This is shared by their adopted Humanoid.

Plane Shift (Sp): The Swarm can Plane SHift itself and it's adoptee 1/day.

Skills: Swarm Fish gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on Swim Checks.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Swarm Fish will stay surrounding their Adoptee to protect it unless an opponent gets within melee range in which case they will attack.



Swarm Fish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are off to confront  a fellow Wizard on his possible violations of safety protocols."

They're The Hottest New Trend
"Oh, here comes someone now.  Excuse me miss?"

"Who are you?  Are you friends of Praky baby?"

"Oh for the love of..."

"We're here to see Prak yes, but may I inquire as to what those fish swimming around you are?"

Totally Not Dangerous.  Really We Swear.

"It's a rare cloud of Platinum Swarm Fish.  Praky got them for me.  He's inside, watch out for the turtles."

"Turtles?"

"Here they come now, in comically exaggerated slow motion."

[bhu]

Liberator Fish
                      Diminutive Magical Beast (Aquatic, Psionic)
Hit Dice:             1d10+1 (6 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                Swim 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          19 (+4 Size, +5 Dex), touch 19, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-16
Attack:               Bite -1 melee (1d2-5)
Full Attack:          Bite -1 melee (1d2-5)
Space/Reach:          1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Psilike Abilities
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Liberate
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 20, Con 12, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills:               Autohypnosis +7, Concentrate +5, Knowledge (Psionics) +5, Listen +5, Psicraft +7, Spot +5, Swim +5
Feats:                Combat Manifestation
Environment:          Any Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary plus possible fish mooks
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class (usually Psion)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...I don't like the way the other fish are lookin' at that blue fish.  It's like they're talkin' without sayin' words..."

"I'm a lil more worried about how they're lookin' at us now..."

Liberator fish look like large bright blue goldfish, and are psionically active.  They are called Liberator fishes, because they tend to spontaneously awaken fish they come into contact with, and seem to be able to control them.  While this doesn't make them dangerous as opponents (unless the local fish are also dangerous), it can be problematic in other ways as they can deprive fishermen of their livelihoods.  They are also known for ruining other industries based on rivers or lakes or seas.

Psi-like Abilities (Ps): At will: Conceal Thoughts, Mindlink, Psionic Charm
3/day: Mass Missive, Psionic Suggestion, Read Thoughts

Liberate (Su): As a Full Round Action a Liberator Fish may Liberate one fish that is an Animal or Magical Beast.  The Liberated fish gains +2d4 Intelligence and Charisma. Its type becomes Magical Beast (augmented animal). Unless it's already a Magical Beast.  An Liberated animal can’t serve as an animal companion, familiar, or special mount.

An Liberated creature can speak one language the Fish knows. The Liberated fish do not get a Saving Throw against the Liberator Fishes Psi-Like Abilities, so their given name is rather ionic.

Skills: A Liberator Fish has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line.
 
Combat: Liberator Fish have no real means of combating foes (at least not till they gain some levels of Psion), so they tend to let Awakened minions do the fighting for them.  They act purely in a directorial role, occasionally using their psychic powers if it can be done without risk.



Liberator Fish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are taking a look at Casrassius Liberator, better known as the Liberator Fish."

The Fishermans Threat
"Liberator Fish are psionically active fish, with a nasty habit of using their psychic powers to awaken intelligence within other fish."

"Our viewers should be aware, that while the Liberator Fish seems harmless, intelligent fish can avoid fishermen, thus endangering their livelihood."

"They also lead the occasional revolution against us land dwellers."

Natural Born Guerilla Warfare Leaders

"What is that climbing onto the land over there?"

"Dammit, they've found the Land Sharks."

[bhu]

http://fxb.worth1000.com/entries/585079/cowbird

Cowbird
                      Diminutive Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             1d10+1 (6 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          17 (+4 Size, +3 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-15
Attack:               Gore +8 melee (1d2-4)
Full Attack:          Gore +8 melee (1d2-4)
Space/Reach:          1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Charge, MOO!
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft.
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +0
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
Skills:               Listen +2, Spot +2
Feats:                Flyby Attack, Anklebiter (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Temperate Forest or Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Herd (4-8)
Challenge Rating:     1/2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Y'know Bert normally I'd be pissed about hunting birds, but this is just so damn bizarre I'm at a loss for words."

A failed attempt at creating winged Bison as an evil minion, the Cowbirds were released by their Wizard creator.  He just sort of assumed they'd die, but instead they seemed to have thrived and now the little freaks are everywhere.  And to top it all off most of them are too small to be really good eating...  Cowbirds appear as little teensy birds with the heads of cattle.  And they also have the attitude of full sized cows.

Charge (Ex): If the Cowbird successfully performs a Charge Attack on a Medium or smaller opponent, the opponent must make a DC 13 Fortitude Save or be Dazed 1 round (Save DC is Dex based).

MOO! (Ex): Cowbirds are as loud as full sized animals, and their moo can sometimes scare the crap out of unsuspecting people.  If anyone fails to notice the Cowbird and it Moos as a Swift Action, all living creatures within 20 feet make a DC 10 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 1 round.

Combat: Cowbirds usually Moo before charging en masse.  The sight of a handful of little red bird creatures slamming their heads into people has shocked many an adventurer beyond the need for facial expression.



Cowbird
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be discussing one of the silliest things we have ever seen.  Molothrus boviceps, better known as the Cowbird.

Attitude

"Correct Harlan.  Widely speculated to have been created during a drunken bet, this species is now found far and wide."

"I'm told they're regarded as pests Jim?"

"Yes, but that's to do with their nature rather than devouring crops or such."


Right Between The Eyes

"So why are they disliked?"

"I'm told they like to deliver flying headbutts directly into people's faces."

"I can see where this would be an issue"

"Also they can bellow pretty loudly.  Especially if disturbed at night."

[bhu]

The Apes of Wrath
                      Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          17 (+2 Size, +5 Dex), touch 17, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-11
Attack:               Slam +8 melee (1d2-4)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +8 melee (1d2-4) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1 point)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, Immunities
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 8
Skills:               Balance +28, Climb +27, Hide +37, Intimidate +23, Jump +20, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +29, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +19, Tumble +29, Use Magic Device +23
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1/2
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          (see below)
Level Adjustment:     ---


The Apes of Wrath
                      Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                30 ft. (4 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+1 Size, +4 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/-1
Attack:               Slam +7 melee (1d3+1)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +7 melee (1d3+1) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d2)       
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, Immunities
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 10
Skills:               Balance +27, Climb +32, Hide +32, Intimidate +24, Jump +25, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +28, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +24, Tumble +28, Use Magic Device +24
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          (see below)
Level Adjustment:     ---


The Apes of Wrath
                      Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+8
Attack:               Slam +9 melee (1d4+4)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +9 melee (1d4+4) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d3+2)         
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 5/Magic, SR 14, Immunities
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 10
Skills:               Balance +26, Climb +35, Hide +27, Intimidate +24, Jump +28, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +27, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +27, Tumble +27, Use Magic Device +24
Feats:                Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          (see below)
Level Adjustment:     ---


The Apes of Wrath
                      Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +8/+19
Attack:               Slam +15 melee (1d6+7)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +15 melee (1d6+7) and 1 Bite +9 melee (1d6+3)         
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 10/Magic, SR 17, Fast Healing 1, Immunities
Saves:                Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 14
Skills:               Balance +25, Climb +38, Hide +22, Intimidate +26, Jump +31, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +26, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +30, Tumble +26, Use Magic Device +26
Feats:                Cleave, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          (see below)
Level Adjustment:     ---


The Apes of Wrath
                      Huge Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             16d8+80 (152 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          25 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple:  +16/+37
Attack:               Slam +28 melee (1d8+13/19-20)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +28 melee (1d8+13/19-20) and 1 Bite +22 melee (1d8+6)         
Space/Reach:          15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 15/Magic, SR 25, Fast Healing 3, Energy Resistance 5 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Immunities
Saves:                Fort +15, Ref +12, Will +9
Abilities:            Str 36, Dex 14, Con 20, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
Skills:               Balance +25, Climb +44, Hide +18, Intimidate +28, Jump +37, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +26, Search +28, Sense Motive +24, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +36, Tumble +26, Use Magic Device +28
Feats:                Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Slam), Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     14
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          (see below)
Level Adjustment:     ---


The Apes of Wrath
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             32d8+256 (400 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 15 ft.
Armor Class:          40 (-4 Size, +1 Dex, +33 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 39
Base Attack/Grapple:  +32/+63
Attack:               Slam +48 melee (2d6+19/19-20)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +48 melee (2d6+19/19-20) and 1 Bite +42 melee (1d10+9)         
Space/Reach:          20 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 25/Magic, DR 10/-, SR 33, Fast Healing 5, Energy Resistance 10 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Immunities
Saves:                Fort +26, Ref +19, Will +14
Abilities:            Str 48, Dex 12, Con 26, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 24
Skills:               Balance +24, Climb +50, Hide +13, Intimidate +31, Jump +43, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +25, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +42, Tumble +44, Use Magic Device +31
Feats:                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Fling Enemy*, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar*, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Slam), Mighty Roar*, Overwhelming Critical (Slam)#, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Slam)
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     22
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          (see below)
Level Adjustment:     ---


The Apes of Wrath
                      Colossal Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             64d8+832 (1120 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 10 ft.
Armor Class:          60 (-8 Size, +1 Dex, +53 Natural), touch 3, flat-footed 59
Base Attack/Grapple:  +64/+105
Attack:               Slam +82 melee (3d6+25)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +82 melee (3d6+25) and 1 Bite +76 melee (2d6+12)         
Space/Reach:          30 ft./30 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rend
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Reincarnation, Shared Skills, Sense Target, DR 35/Epic, DR 15/-, SR 46, Fast Healing 8, Energy Resistance 15 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic), Immunities
Saves:                Fort +47, Ref +35, Will +25
Abilities:            Str 60, Dex 12, Con 36, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 30
Skills:               Balance +24, Climb +56, Hide +9, Intimidate +34, Jump +49, Knowledge (Geography, History, Nature) +27, Listen +28, Move Silently +28, Search +28, Sense Motive +28, Spot +28, Survival +28, Swim +48, Tumble +25, Use Magic Device +34
Feats:                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Defensive Sweep+, Fling Enemy*, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar*, Greater Powerful Charge^, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Slam), Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack*, Mighty Roar*, Multiattack, Multigrab*, Overwhelming Assault+, Overwhelming Critical (Slam)#, Power Attack, Power Critical (Slam)~, Powerful Charge^, Shock Trooper!, Weapon Focus (Slam)
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     35
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...Ah swear if that lil' monkey critter doesn't stop throwing things at me Ah'm gonna forget mahself and bury my axe in his backside..."

The Apes of Wrath are divine servitors the Gawds use to punish particularly enraging mortals.  They begin as tiny critters and are told to meddle in their targets affairs and harass them, but not to kill.  If the Ape is killed it subsequently resurrects in a larger, tougher form.  With each successive reincarnation it gets tougher and has more leeway granted by the Gawds in it's actions.  It usually gets the kill command somewhere around Large to Huge size if the target hasn't learned it's lesson (or has been particularly offensive).  Apes of Wrath understand all languages but do not speak any (that they've ever demonstrated).

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Ape of Wrath successfully hits an opponent it's own Size Class or smaller with it's Slam attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Rend (Ex): If the Ape hits with both Slam attacks it holds on and begins battering it's opponent for an extra amount of damage equal to double it's normal Slam attack damage.

Reincarnation (Ex): Apes of Wrath begin at Size Class Tiny.  They will do their best to arrange the punishment of their target, but if killed they resurrect 24 hours later at the next Size Class/HD level within 100 feet of the place they died.  If killed at that Size Class/HD level they again resurrect 24 hours later at the next larger level until they eventually reach Colossal.  If killed at Size Class Colossal their target is free of them, and the Gawds assign a new punishment.  Apes of Wrath cannot permanently be killed, but they can be re-assigned if killed often enough or if the Gawds can be convinced to recall them.

Shared Skills (Ex): Regardless of what size or Hit Dice level the Ape of Wrath is at, it has the same skill points it would normally have at full Colossal size (modified by their current stats).

Sense Target (Su): Once the Gawds make someone the target of an Ape of Wrath, the Ape always knows it's exact location, even if it is on another Plane of existence.

Immunities (Ex): Apes of Wrath are immune to sleep effects, death effects, aging effects, fatigue/exhaustion, Mind-Affecting effects, poison, disease, paralysis, petrification, and polymorph.  They do not require sleep or rest.

Skills: Apes of Wrath get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.

Combat: Apes of Wrath have pretty good reasoning abilities, and usually use tactics that belie their bestial appearance.  Most try to separate their target from potential protectors so they can confront him alone.  That way it minimizes the chances he gets help, and it also minimizes the collateral damage and dead bystanders.

*see Savage Species,  #see Epic Level Handboook,  +see PHB II, see Miniature's Handbook,  !see Complete Warrior, ~see Deities and Demigods









The Apes of Wrath
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Benny, the Gawd of Fear, on a most interesting subject."

Personifications of Divine Wrath

"Good evening sir!"

"Call me Benny."

"We understand you're willing to discuss the legends of the Apes of Wrath."

"Oh they aren't legends.  Harlan can attest to that personally."

"coughs"

"Is it true they were made by you?"


Blunt Instruments

"In a manner of speaking.  I made the first few.  Other Gawds made Apes of their own in order to have servants they might consider more loyal."

"Those things are loyal to nothing."

"So they are some sort  of divine punishment?"

"Oh yes.  But generally you have to have been pretty bad for us to send one of them after you.  We figured waking up to a devil monkey slamming a bit of his own into your face would be enough to convince mortals to change their ways, lest we send worse."

"That's disputable..."

"Oddly  enough, you lot are stupidly bad at taking a subtle hint.  So we...gave the Apes better options."

[bhu]

Mad Turtle Swarm
                      Tiny Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice:             12d10+24 (90 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Swim 10 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, -1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +12/-
Attack:               Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction, Mouth Foaming Anger
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Hold Breath, Swarm traits, Half damage from Slashing and Piercing, Scent
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 8, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Spot +8, Survival +9, Swim +8
Feats:                Ability Focus (Distraction), Endurance, Great Fortitude, Improved Toughness, Iron Will
Environment:          Temperate Marsh or Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert that turtle pond looks...suspicious..."

Turtle Swarms are magically bred turtles used as somewhat, kind of, competent guard animals.  They're difficult to hit and okay in water, but they're darn slow.  And they have rabid tempers.  Spurious rumor has it a Druid juiced them up to keep the locals from turning them into soup.

Mouth Foaming Anger (Ex): Whenever the swarm takes damage it begins foaming at the mouth in fury, and it's swarm attacks do +1d6 damage for the rest of the encounter.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn with a Swarm in it's square must make a DC 19 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on spells in this area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills requiring Concentration or patience requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

Hold Breath (Ex): Turtle Swarms may hold their breath for (8 times Con score) rounds before it risks drownings.

Skills: Turtle Swarms gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Swim Check.

Combat: Turtle Swarms tend to charge oooooh so slowly.  Or simply appear to e docile until intruders get close.



Mad Turtle Swarm
"What is the meaning of this Prak?  Turtles?  Sugar babies?"

Absurdity Thy Name Is Prak
"Really, what is the deal with those turtles?"

"Like you've never had a fling or two Harlan.  I've got a new business Jim!  I make swarms of guard critters.  The Turtles were an early concept.  In theory no one would see them coming until it's too late."

"I have never financed a sugar baby!"

"I can assure you Prak, literally everyone will see the turtles coming."

Devastating, So Long As You Willingly Walk Into The Blender

"I know, they weren't a great seller.  Neither were the Mooses.  That's why I've moved on to rodents!"

"Prak, you are a grown Wizard.  No one should have to explain why rodents are a bad idea."

"Now Harlan, we can at least hear him out."

[bhu]

Rainbow Butt Monkey
                      Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             5d10+10 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +5/+7
Attack:               Slam +8 melee (1d4+2)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +8 melee (1d4+2) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Rainbows, Improved Grapple
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Immunities
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Balance +7, Climb +10, Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:                Ability Focus (Rainbows), Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Troupe (4-8)
Challenge Rating:  3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...am I imagining things...or are there lights shining from that monkeys nether regions?"

"Best we not think too much about it and just keep moving Abner..."

Rainbow Butt Monkeys appear to be normal Mandrills, however their nether regions are a reflective mother of pearl color.  At will they can cause them to sparkle with all the colors of the rainbow, fascinating potential victims while their brother monkeys sneak up on them from behind.  No one's sure if the effect is magical or people just tend to stare thinking "wtf?".  Currently Sages have no explanation for their existence, as they one day simply began overrunning the nearby savannahs. 

Rainbows (Su): The Rainbow Butt Monkeys can cast Color Spray at will, and Rainbow Pattern 3 times a day as Supernatural Abilities.

Improved Grapple (Ex): Rainbow Butt Monkeys can make Grapple Checks without provoking Attacks of Opportunity.

Immunities: Rainbow Butt Monkeys are immune to being Dazed, Stunned, Confused, and to Mind-Affecting Effects.  They also receive a +4 Racial Bonus on Saving Throws against all spells from the Enchantment or Illusion schools that they aren't already immune to.

Skills: Rainbow Butt Monkeys get a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Climb Check.

Combat:  Rainbow Butt Monkeys tend to have one or two of their number distract prey with their radiant cheeks while the rest ambush them after they become blinded or fascinated.




Rainbow Butt Monkeys
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we've bee stranded by alien revolutionaries somewhere in the Gardens!"

Shiny...
"So, do you have any idea where we are?"

"Lots of grassland hereabouts."

"Oh crap, this is the monkey enclosure!"

Do Not Go Into The Light

"What kind of monkeys??"

"There's a pack of Mandrills over by that stand of trees."

"Okay, this is gonna sound weird, but they're gonna moon you.  When they do, don't look."

"Why would we look?"

"These aren't normal mandrills are they?"

"No.  Everything in the Gardens comes from other Planes of Existence.  Nothing here is normal."

"Mayb we should go to commercial again?"

"And now a word from our sponsors!"

[bhu]

Voracious Lemming
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 1/2d10 (2 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 14 (+2 Size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-11
Attack: Nibble +5 melee (1d2-4)
Full Attack: Nibble +5 melee (1d2-4)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 15, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Climb +4, Hide +10, Listen +3, Move Silently +6, Spot +3
Feats: Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 1/4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

”BERT!!! DON'T FEED THA LIL' MOUSE CRITTERS!”

Voracious Lemmings appear for all intents and purposes to be normal Lemmings.  In other words, small furry rodent beasts.  This should be your first clue to start smashing them.  Seriously.  Especially before they get to the grain supplies.  Or any other food supplies for that matter.  Magical Beasts, the Voracious Lemmings can eat any amount of food and never seem to not be hungry.  In fact the more they eat, the bigger they get.  They aren't encountered very often, which has led to the belief that they are a bizarre magical mutation cause by unknown circumstances, or a vengeful madman who is beyond the understanding of other people.  After all if you wanted revenge this seems to be an odd and roundabout way...

Even worse the Lemmings seem to gain intelligence with size, and the bigger they get the more they seem to understand basic tactics.  Meaning the bigger they get, the harder it is to trap them.  The best idea really is to kill them before they get too big.  Eventually they can understand Common but not speak it.

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs one pound, and can eat approximately a half pound of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass, and upon reaching 9 pounds it becomes a Small Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and receives a +8 Racial Bonus against ingested poisons and disease.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.

Combat: Voracious Lemmings generally avoid too much fighting until they get their Swallow Whole ability, which they will try to use at their earliest opportunity.  At larger sizes they will rely on intimidation and their large size.  At their biggest they even have a sense of rudimentary tactics.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 1d10+1 (6 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 25 ft (5 squares), Climb 25 ft.
Armor Class: 13 (+1 Size, +2 Dex), touch 13, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-4
Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1d3-1)
Full Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1d3-1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 8, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills: Climb +7, Hide +6, Listen +3, Move Silently +6, Spot +3
Feats: Alertness, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 1/3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----


Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 9 pounds, and can eat approximately a pound of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass, and upon reaching 30 pounds it gains another Hit Die, and when it reaches 61 pounds it becomes a Medium Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and receives a +8 Racial Bonus against ingested poisons and disease.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 3d10+6 (22 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class: 13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+4
Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1d4+1)
Full Attack: Nibble +4 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills: Climb +9, Hide +4, Listen +4, Move Silently +5, Spot +4
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 61 pounds, and can eat approximately 4 pounds of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass, and upon reaching 207 pounds it gains another Hit Die, at 353 pounds it gains a second Hit Die, and when it reaches 501 pounds it becomes a Large Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and receives a +8 Racial Bonus against ingested poisons and disease. If the Lemming would take damage due to starvation or thirst, it instead loses a Hit Die.  When it drops to 1 Hit Die, it reverts to being a Small creature.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If Successful it may continue to do bite damage, or swallow an opponent of appropriate size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully makes a Grapple Check against an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may swallow them.  The swallowed creature takes 1d6+1 damage and 1 point of acid damage per round it remains in the Lemmings stomach.  It may cut it's way out with a Light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 10 damage to the Lemmings stomach (AC 11).  Once the creature exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.  A Lemmings stomach may hold 2 Tiny, 4 Diminutive, or 8 Fine opponents.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 6d10+30 (63 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 40 ft (8 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+15
Attack: Nibble +10 melee (1d6+7)
Full Attack: Nibble +10 melee (1d6+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, DR 5/Magic
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +6, Will +4
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 13, Con 20, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Climb +13, Hide +2, Listen +4, Move Silently +5, Spot +4
Feats: Alertness, Diehard, Endurance
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 501 pounds, and can eat approximately 16 pounds of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass gaining an extra Hit Die roughly every extra 584 pounds, and when it reaches 4001 pounds it becomes a Huge Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and receives a +8 Racial Bonus against ingested poisons and disease.  If the Lemming would take damage due to starvation or thirst, it instead loses a Hit Die.  When it drops to 3 Hit Dice, it reverts to being a Medium creature.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If Successful it may continue to do bite damage, or swallow an opponent of appropriate size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully makes a Grapple Check against an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may swallow them.  The swallowed creature takes 2d4+5 damage and 5 points of acid damage per round it remains in the Lemmings stomach.  It may cut it's way out with a Light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 15 damage to the Lemmings stomach (AC 12).  Once the creature exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.  A Lemmings stomach may hold 2 Small, 4 Tiny, 8 Diminutive, or 32 Fine opponents.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Huge Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 12d10+120 (186 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 40 ft (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class: 19 (-2 Size, +1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+30
Attack: Nibble +20 melee (2d4+15/19-20)
Full Attack: Nibble +20 melee (2d4+15/19-20)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, DR 10/Magic, SR 19
Saves: Fort +18, Ref +9, Will +7
Abilities: Str 30, Dex 13, Con 30, Int 5, Wis 16, Cha 12
Skills: Climb +18, Hide +1, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Improved Critical (Bite), Improved Initiative
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 4001 pounds, and can eat approximately 64 pounds of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass gaining an extra Hit Die roughly every extra 2,333 pounds, and when it reaches 32,001 pounds it becomes a Gargantuan Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and receives a +8 Racial Bonus against ingested poisons and disease.  If the Lemming would take damage due to starvation or thirst, it instead loses a Hit Die.  When it drops to 6 Hit Dice, it reverts to being a Large creature.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If Successful it may continue to do bite damage, or swallow an opponent of appropriate size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully makes a Grapple Check against an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may swallow them.  The swallowed creature takes 2d6+10 damage and 10 points of acid damage per round it remains in the Lemmings stomach.  It may cut it's way out with a Light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 25 damage to the Lemmings stomach (AC 15).  Once the creature exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.  A Lemmings stomach may hold 2 Medium, 4 Small, 8 Tiny, or 32 Diminutive or smaller opponents.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Gargantuan Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 24d10+360 (492 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 40 ft (8 squares), Climb 10 ft.
Armor Class: 24 (-4 Size, +18 Natural), touch 6, flat-footed 24
Base Attack/Grapple: +24/+51
Attack: Nibble +36 melee (2d6+22/19-20)
Full Attack: Nibble +36 melee (2d6+22/19-20)
Space/Reach: 20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, DR 15/Magic, SR 23
Saves: Fort +29, Ref +14, Will +11
Abilities: Str 40, Dex 10, Con 40, Int 6, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills: Climb +23, Hide +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +12, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Cleave, Diehard, Endurance, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Bite), Improved Initiative, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Bite)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 32,001 pounds, and can eat approximately 256 pounds of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass gaining an extra Hit Die roughly every extra 9,083 pounds, and when it reaches 250,001 pounds it becomes a Colossal Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and is now immune to poison and disease.  If the Lemming would take damage due to starvation or thirst, it instead loses a Hit Die.  When it drops to 12 Hit Dice, it reverts to being a Huge creature.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If Successful it may continue to do bite damage, or swallow an opponent of appropriate size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully makes a Grapple Check against an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may swallow them.  The swallowed creature takes 2d8+15 damage and 15 points of acid damage per round it remains in the Lemmings stomach.  It may cut it's way out with a Light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 35 damage to the Lemmings stomach (AC 19).  Once the creature exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.  A Lemmings stomach may hold 2 Large, 4 Medium, 8 Small, or 32 Tiny or smaller opponents.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Colossal Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 48d10+1008 (1272 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 40 ft (8 squares)
Armor Class: 40 (-8 Size, +38 Natural), touch 2, flat-footed 40
Base Attack/Grapple: +48/+84
Attack: Nibble +61 melee (2d8+30/19-20)
Full Attack: Nibble +61 melee (2d8+30/19-20)
Space/Reach: 30 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, DR 20/Epic, SR 32
Saves: Fort +46, Ref +26, Will +19
Abilities: Str 50, Dex 10, Con 50, Int 8, Wis 16, Cha 20
Skills: Climb +28, Hide +5, Listen +10, Move Silently +20, Spot +10
Feats: Alertness, Awesome Blow, Cleave, Diehard, Endurance, Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar (see Savage Species), Improved Critical (Bite), Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Mighty Roar (see Savage Species), Power Attack, Power Critical (Bite, see Complete Warrior), Weapon Focus (Bite) 
  Epic Feats: Devastating Critical (Bite), Overwhelming Critical (Bite)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 21
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 250,001 pounds, and can eat approximately 1024 pounds of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass gaining an extra Hit Die roughly every extra 36,458 pounds, and when it reaches 2,000,001 pounds it becomes a Super Extra Deluxe Biggie Size Voracious Lemming.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and is now immune to poison and disease.  If the Lemming would take damage due to starvation or thirst, it instead loses a Hit Die.  When it drops to 24 Hit Dice, it reverts to being a Gargantuan creature.
 
Improved Grab (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If Successful it may continue to do bite damage, or swallow an opponent of appropriate size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully makes a Grapple Check against an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may swallow them.  The swallowed creature takes 4d6+20 damage and 20 points of acid damage per round it remains in the Lemmings stomach.  It may cut it's way out with a Light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 50 damage to the Lemmings stomach (AC 29).  Once the creature exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.  A Lemmings stomach may hold 2 Huge, 4 Large, 8 Medium, or 32 Small or smaller opponents.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Voracious Lemming
Super Extra Deluxe Biggie Size Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 96d10+2496 (3024 hp)
Initiative: +8
Speed: 50 ft (10 squares)
Armor Class: 52 (-16 Size, +58 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 52
Base Attack/Grapple: +96/+141
Attack: Nibble +106 melee (4d6+37/19-20)
Full Attack: Nibble +106 melee (4d6+37/19-20)
Space/Reach: 45 ft./30 ft.
Special Attacks: Munching, improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, DR 30/Epic, DR 10/-, SR 47, Fast Healing 10
Saves: Fort +81, Ref +50, Will +63
Abilities: Str 60, Dex 10, Con 60, Int 10, Wis 20, Cha 24
Skills: Climb +33, Hide +25, Listen +7, Move Silently +44, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Awesome Blow (see Monster Manual), Cleave, Defensive Sweep (see PHB II), Diehard, Endurance, Gape of the Serpent (see Savage Species), Great Cleave, Greater Mighty Roar (see Savage Species), Greater Powerful Charge (see Miniature's Handbook), Great Fortitude, Improved Critical (Bite), Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Improved Toughness, Indomitable Soul (see PHB II), Iron Will, Large and in Charge (see Draconomicon), Mighty Roar (see Savage Species), Overwhelming Assault (see PHB II), Power Attack, Power Critical (Bite, see Complete Warrior), Powerful Charge (see Miniature's Handbook), Shock Trooper (see Complete Warrior), Steadfast Determination (see PHB II), Weapon Focus (Bite) 
  Epic Feats: Devastating Critical (Bite),  Epic Endurance, Epic Fortitude, Epic Prowess, Epic Will, Overwhelming Critical (Bite), Superior Initiative
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Colony (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 36
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: See below
Level Adjustment: -----

Munching (Ex): The Voracious Lemming weighs 2,000,001 pounds, and can eat approximately 4096 pounds of food per round.  It converts half of that food to body mass gaining an extra Hit Die roughly every extra 145,832 pounds.  It can eat virtually any organic matter without harm, and is now immune to poison and disease.  If the Lemming would take damage due to starvation or thirst, it instead loses a Hit Die.  When it drops to 48 Hit Dice, it reverts to being a Colossal creature.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully hits with it's Bite Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If Successful it may continue to do bite damage, or swallow an opponent of appropriate size.

Swallow Whole (Ex): If the Voracious Lemming successfully makes a Grapple Check against an opponent of any size, it may swallow them.  The swallowed creature takes 4d8+25 damage and 25 points of acid damage per round it remains in the Lemmings stomach.  It may cut it's way out with a Light slashing or piercing weapon by doing 65 damage to the Lemmings stomach (AC 39).  Once the creature exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.  A Lemmings stomach may hold 1 Colossal or  above creature, 2 Gargantuan, 4 Huge, 8 Large, or 32 Medium or smaller opponents.

Skills: Voracious Lemmings receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.



-=-=-=-=-=-=-


Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Nature) may have heard of Voracious Lemmings. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DC's.

DC|Lore 10| Voracious Lemmings resemble normal Lemmings except they can be found anywhere and have bottomless pits for stomachs. 15| The more Voracious Lemmings eat the bigger they get.  20| As Voracious Lemmings get bigger they get more intelligent and increase in power. Plot Hook The PC's are hired to find out who has stolen the grain stores of a local village.  Bad news is it was Lemmings.  The PC's need to find a way to get the villagers food, or get them moved out to somewhere that can help them before winter sets in. The PC's are hired to contact a missing merchant, and find a deserted village with one really big rodent.  You can pretty much guess whats happened. The Monarch of Florida has given a pet fluffy to the PC's to deliver to the King of El Grande as a present and peace offering.  The PC's are a little concerned when it always seems hungry, particularly when it starts getting bigger.  It's possible they've been had... A rogue artifact has transformed the local Lemming population into Voracious Lemmings, and it's a race against time for the PC's to wipe them out before they get too powerful.

Voracious Lemming
"Pardon me sirs, I understand you are wildlife experts?"

"We'd like to think so.  How may we help?"

Beloved By Giants As Pets

"My pet Lemmings have escaped! We need to find them before they get into the food supply!  Their diet needs to be strictly controlled!"

"Lemmings?  You mean Lemmus lemmus?  We have time.  It'll be okay."

"No sir. I mean Lemmus vorax."

"Oh crap..."

"Someone left their cage open after cleaning.  You have to help me, they're my little babies!"

"They're also a localized extinction level event!!  Where did you keep them?"

"With the Turkeys and the other small critters."

"With...the Turkeys..."


Adorable Apocalypse

"Oh crap, Farmer Skechfoot is gonna fire me...."

"Chin up young Giant.  We'll have your pets back in a jiffy.  How many of them were there?"

"Twelve."

(Beep)

[bhu]

Banana Muffin Swarm
                      Diminutive Construct (Swarm)
Hit Dice:             12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                5 ft. (1 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+4 Size, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +9/-
Attack:               Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach:          1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction, Psilike Abilities
Special Qualities:    Construct Traits, Blindsight 60 ft., Swarm traits, Immune to Weapon damage, Blind, Teleport, Telepathy 100 ft.
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 10, Con -, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills:               Concentration +15, Hide +27, Knowledge (Psionics) +18, Listen +18, Psicraft +18
Feats:                Combat Manifestation, Greater Psionic Endowment, Narrow Mind, Psionic Endowment, Psionic Meditation
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...the muffins are following us..."

"How much shine you had today?"

No one knows who or what came up with Banana Muffin Swarms.  Fiendishly insidious they simply set in plain sight, teleporting about when people aren't looking or when something attempts to eat them.  Conspiracy theories about their origins and intents abound, but no one has ever caught them to interrogate them.  Banana Muffins understand common and 3 other languages.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn in the same square as a Swarm must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on a spell within the swarms area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills that require patience or concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

Psilike Abilities (Ps): At will: Choose any 3 first level powers from the Psion list.  3/day: Choose two powers each from the 2nd and 3rd level powers on the Psion list.  1/day: Insanity.  Manifester level is equal to Hit Dice.

Blind (Ex): Banana Muffin Swarms are immune to gaze attacks, visual effects, illusions, and other attack forms that rely on sight.

Teleport (Su): At will as a Move Action Muffin Swarms may teleport up to 30 ft. in any direction.

Combat: Combat tactics for the Muffins vary widely depending on their individual powers.  Most involve stealth or mind control somehow though.



Banana Muffin Swarm
"Less than 24 hours back on the job and we've already burned down a tower..."

Psychic Baked Goods
"I have to say, you make life interesting Prak."

"Was that plate of muffins always there?"

"No one leaves a plate of muffins in the forest..."

"Halfling Catering Corps?"

Weirdest Idea The Halflings Ever Had

"You got a fireball Harlan?"

"I'm more of a teleport man."

"Now might be a good time."



Pirhanakeet Swarm
                      Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice:             12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft., Good
Armor Class:          19 (+4 Size, +5 Dex), touch 19, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +12/-
Attack:               Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach:          1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction, Bloody Wounds
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Swarm traits, Immune to weapon damage, Scent
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +13, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +9, Spot +10
Feats:                Dodge, Flyby Attack, Hover, Improved Flyby Attack, Mobility
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"GOD______ I HATE BIRDS!"

"Abner you really need to learn not to take bird attacks personally.  It's the curse man."

Pirhanakeets are Parakeets crossed with some form of predatory, fanged monstrosity.  They seemingly do almost nothing but eat despite their tiny size.  They also take every opportunity to make more of their kind. There are small forests stripped clean because of them.  They appear to be mostly normal Parakeets, but their toothy beaks are preternaturally sharp and can cut through even hardened leather with ease.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to the swarms damage that begins it's turn in the same square as a Swarm must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be Nauseated for 1 round.  Spellcasting or concentrating on a spell within the swarms area requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 plus spell level).  Using skills that require patience or concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.

Bloody Wounds (Ex):  Any opponent that is damaged by a Pirhanakeets Swarm attack loses an additional 3 hit points per round for 1d6 rounds due to blood loss.  Multiple hits can extend duration, but do not do additional damage.

Combat: Pirhanakeets do the usual swarm tactics: envelop and chew profusely.



Piranhakeets
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, we're back in Florida with yet another bird menace.  Have you found us any more information Jim?

Professional Rivals

"Remember those Shark Birds the local druids used as a revenge ploy?  Well, the local Wizards felt slighted and made a bird/predator combo of their own.  This time a mix of Parakeets and the Gawds alone know what."

"So a rivalry then?"

"More like a bunch of immature adults upset that some other group terrifies the locals more than they do."


Voracious

"So these are pretty much like the other recent arrivals?"

"They reproduce more, but can't swim."

"I imagine the Floridian Wizards Council has issued a statement?"

"They were the flocks first victims Harlan."

"Does no one use precautions anymore?"

[bhu]

Idiot Box
                      Small Construct
Hit Dice:             6d10+10 (43 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                0 ft. (0 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (+1 Size, +6 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+0
Attack:               -
Full Attack:          -
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      OBEY ME!, Fascinate Viewers
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct traits
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +7
Abilities:            Str -, Dex -, Con -, Int 16, Wis 16, Cha 24
Skills:               Bluff +13, Diplomacy +17, Gather Information +15, Intimidate +14, Knowledge (Local) +8, Listen +8, Sense Motive +9, Spot +9
Feats:                Ability Focus (OBEY ME!, Fascinate Viewers), Iron Will
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Lawful Evil
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...why the hell is everyone staring at that box?"

"Ah dunno...but it creeps me out."

Idiot Boxes are metal cubes with glass screens on one or more sides.  They project various odd scenes onto the glass to attract the attention of nearby victims.  Once they have their attention they slowly creep into their minds leaving them ever more Fascinated.  Eventually they become enslaved to the box, and it begins issuing them commands.  The Devils use it to gain slaves for the Blood Wars, and of course a few souls along the way.  Idiot Boxes speak Common, Infernal, and two other languages.

OBEY ME!(Su): Once per minute the Idiot Box can force any one being that has failed a Saving Throw against it's Fascinate ability to make a DC 22 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based) or be affected as if by a Dominate Person spell (Caster Level is equal to double Hit Dice). 

Fascinate Viewers (Su): Any being within 60 ft. that can see the Idiot Box must make a DC 22 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based) or be Fascinated until they make a successful Will Save (they get another Save each minute) or they take damage or have a spell/power/ability successfully used on them.

Combat Idiot Boxes rarely fight.  They just kind of sit there fascinating people and mind controlling them.  Usually they have a few demonic servants to ensure they aren't attacked.



Idiot Boxes
"Whats that they're staring at?"

Masters Of Propaganda.
"It's a metal box with a glass screen on one side, and antennae on top."

"Is that an Idiot Box?"

"YES!  Yes, we can use this to get rescued!"

Do Not Listen To The an In The Box

"What's an Idiot Box?"

"It used to be a competitor to the Palantir format that was predominantly used by Fiends for propaganda."

"Clearly it's using the monkeys as guards.  We just need to make peaceful contact."

"Promise to take it with us."

"Won't the monkeys be upset we took their God?"

"Everything always has to be so complicated."

"Wait, can't people still see us o the Palantir?"

"Viewers!  If you're out there...!"

[bhu]

Mimic Sheep
                      Medium Magical Beast (Shapeshifter)
Hit Dice:             5d10+5 (32 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +5/+5
Attack:               Butt +6 melee (1d6)
Full Attack:          Butt +6 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Shapeshift
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., The Power of Evil
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 12, Con 12, Int 16, Wis 14, Cha 18
Skills:               Bluff +9, Hide +6, Knowledge (Geography, Local) +8, Listen +7, Move Silently +6, Search +8, Spot +7
Feats:                Iron Will, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Gang (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             Standard, double magic items
Alignment:            Usually Neutral or Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          By Character Class, usually Sorcerer
Level Adjustment:    ---

"Bert whut the hell you doin'?"

"I say Abner old boy, I'm giving this wench the ravishing she jolly well deserves."

"..."

"I got that wrong didn't I?"

"Yup...you don't 'spose you wanna explain where Burt is before I bury this axe in yer forehead?"

Mimic Sheep are the evil pranksters of nature.  Appearing to be normal anthropomorphic sheep, they're ability to change shape into nearly anything gives them the opportunity to wreak endless havoc.  If they had focus they could probably rule the world, but they're satisfied with being utter bastards.  They are known for endless pranks, like dating famous individuals and spontaneously going on crime sprees to ruin their 'lovers' reputation, filling pit traps full of giant leeches, snatching giant ticks and placing them on the faces of sleeping victims, and committing robbery, arson and other ghastly crimes while impersonating others.  They also like to shapeshift into bird form and poop on townsfolk, because birds can get away with this.  Mimic Sheep speak Common and up to 3 other languages.

Shapeshift (Su): Mimic Sheep may cast Polymorph as a Supernatural Ability a number of times per day equal to their Charisma Modifier.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice.

The Power of Evil (Ex): A Mimic Sheep can cast spells as a Sorcerer whose Caster Level is equal to their Hit Dice (this stacks with Levels they may gain in that class).

Combat: Mimic Sheep are never straightforward combatants.  They always prefer deception and trouble making to open brawling, and if faced with serious violence will flee, planning to enrage that same victim another day.  Some of them have devoted their lives to screwing over the same people.  They also tend to learn magic, and acquire as many items as  they can to help them in their schemes.



Mimic Sheep
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I are off to examine rumors of a shapeshifting species of an anthropomorphic nature."

The Jackasses of Nature
"Mimic Sheep...we're looking for sheep."

"Someone has to.  Besides the viewers love a good mystery."

"If they're shapechangers, how are we supposed to spot them anyway?"

Don't Sleep In The Forest

"I say, Jim old boy, perhaps we aren't meant to.  Best we sod off to..."

"Harlan doesn't speak in bad cliche.  Who are you?"

"Dammit Jebediah, I told you trying to fool the Ranger would go sideways!"

[bhu]

THE GUPPY FOLK


   
"Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish."

 The Guppy Folk are multi colored bipedal fish people with large eyes.  Colors and fin size vary widely.

GUPPY FOLK SPECIES TRAITS
·   +2 Dex, +2 Wis, +2 Cha, -6 Str (minimum 3)
·   Size Class: Tiny. +2 Size Bonus to Armor Class and Attack Rolls. +8 Size Bonus to Hide Checks. -8 Size Penalty to Bull Rush, Grapple, Overrun, and Trip Checks. Lifting and Carrying Limits are one quarter those of a Medium character.
·   Monstrous Humanoid with the Aquatic and Amphibious Subtypes, giving you Darkvision 60 ft.
·   Base Land speed 10 ft.
·   Base Swim speed 30 ft.
·   Blindsense (Ex): Guppies can sense other corporeal creatures within 30 ft. when underwater as if they had Blindsight.
·   Guppies have a +8 Racial Bonus to Listen and Swim Checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.
·   Automatic Languages: Common and Guppy.  Bonus Languages: Bonus languages generally depend on who or what lives nearby.
·   Level Adjustment: +0
·   Favored Class: Druid

STARTING AGE
 Adulthood: 14
 Barbarian, Rogue, Sorcerer: +1d4
 Bard, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger: +1d6
 Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard: +2d6

AGING EFFECTS
 Middle Age: 30
 Old: 45
 Venerable: 60
 Maximum Age: +2d10 years

HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
 Base Height: Male: 7" Female: 6"
 Height Modifier: +1d4"
 Base Weight: Male: 8 lbs.   Female: 7 lbs.
 Weight Modifier: x1 lb.

GUPPY CHARACTERS
 Guppies are good for those of you who want an aquatic themed caster of some sort.  Their size and stats make them pretty decent Divine casters.
 Adventuring Race: Guppies tend to go on adventures for idealistic reasons more than glory or gold.  They want to change the world as oppose to rule it or steal it's stuff.
 Character Development: Given their stats, you're probably better off going for a Divine caster.  You have the perfect set up for it with your ability score bonuses.  You should probably do something about your reach and speed disadvantage though.
 Character Names: Guppy names tend to be descriptive of either physical attributes (Bigeyes, Redfins, Black Tail) or deeds (Basskiller) or something the Guppy is noted for.  Surnames are generally unhearable by most other races.

ROLEPLAYING A GUPPY
 As a Guppy, you're brightly colored, exotic, and tend to attract attention. Your people are well known for their flamboyant dress and scale patterns.
 Personality: Male Guppies who are new fathers can be a tad aggressive, and likely to bully outsiders away from their children.  Otherwise they tend to be champions of Nature, doing their best to ensure the waterways remain clean.  By force if they have to.  After all, they breathe in the water.
 Behaviors: Beings who throw trash in the rivers are fair game.  Everyone else gets respect, but polluters can be gigged at will.  Also, you will protect the children at all cost.  They are the future.
 Language: Guppy is a fairly high pitched language understandable only to Guppies.  Many of it's tones are outside the humanoid range of hearing.  It has no written form.

GUPPY SOCIETY
 Guppies are an odd society with males and females not really associating with one another outside of reproduction and child rearing.  This separation tends to cause other species a great deal of confusion and frustration when negotiating deals.
 Alignment : Guppies have strong tendencies towards pure neutrality.  If no one bothers them, they don't bother them back.  Pollute their streams and homes, and then you discover the teeny fish people aren't exactly pacifistic.  And they have lots of truly weird magic items they find on the bottom of the waterways that they can use to make their point.
 Lands : Guppies prefer Warm waters to live in, usually near islands or jungles.
 Settlements : When they settle they prefer aquatic areas far from land dwelling civilizations.  That way they avoid pollution in their homes.
 Beliefs : Guppies prefer Variel the Fish God or the Nature Pantheon.  Many are also Druidic.
 Relations: Guppies aren't fond of land dwellers as they tend to accidentally hook the kids while fishing, or pee in the water.  They do make exceptions for those environmentally friendly races who don't pollute the water ways though.

GUPPY ADVENTURES
·   Something upstream has been polluting the river.  Your team is being asked to find out who and how.
·   The local fishermen have gotten ticked, and accuse you of scaring off their catch since you moved into the lake, and have decided to try kidnapping you.  Needless to say this will end in blood, recriminations, and a lot of summoned monsters.  You haven't even been trying to scare off the fish, so it's time to find out what's up before war breaks out.
·   The local Hags have decided your people are tasty.  You have decided the Hags are right awful and need taught a lesson.  Therefore your team has been chosen to activate a Relic near their village that will cause the sky to rain zombified buffalo.  You've no idea why this is a thing, but why pass up a good curse?



GUPPY SPECIES SUBSTITUTION LEVELS


DRUID
 Level 2: Replace Woodland Stride with Fast Swimmer
  Fast Swimmer (Ex):  Your Base Swim Speed increases by +20 ft.
 Level 3: Replace Trackless Step with Scentless
  Scentless (Ex): You have no Scent and cannot be tracked or detected via the Scent ability.

CLERIC
 Level 1: Replace Spontaneous Casting with Spontaneous Casting: Summon
  Spontaneous Casting: Summon: You now have Summon Nature's Ally I-IX on your spell list but may only summon animals with the Aquatic trait or Water Elementals.  You spontaneously cast these spells instead of Cure or Inflict spells.
 Level 1: Replace Turn/Rebuke Undead with Rebuke Sea Life
  Rebuke Sea Life (Su): Instead of Rebuking Undead you may Rebuke any opponent with the Aquatic Subtype or the Amphibious ability.

Favored Soul
 Level 17: Replace Wings with Speed
  Speed (Ex): Your Base Swim Speed increases to 80 ft.





GUPPY FEATS


Summon Fishbowl
You can summon a magical globe of force filled with water to protect you or other aquatic creatures on land.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Must know the Water Breathing Spell, and any 3rd level spell form the Abjuration school
 Benefits: You may 'lose' a spell of any Level to create a water filled sphere of Force as a personal conveyance.  The Sphere provides you a Deflection Bonus to AC equal to the level of the spell used in it's creation.  It also has a Flight Speed equal to the Level of the spell used x5, with Good Maneuverability.  The Fishbowl lasts up to 1 hour per Level of the spell lost.

Improved Summon Fishbowl
You can now summon Fishbowls for a small group.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Summon Fishbowl
 Benefits: When using your Summon Fishbowl Feat you may now 'lose' an additional Spell and create a number of additional Fishbowls for your Allies equal to the level of the spell lost minus 1.

Greater Summon Fishbowl
Your personal Fishbowl gains some options.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Improved Summon Fishbowl
 Benefits: If you sacrifice a second spell of equal Level when creating your Fishbowl, your personal Fishbowl gains one of the following options (you may choose which one you want when creating the fishbowl): Energy Resistance 10 of any one type, DR 10/Magic, SR equal to your CR +11, or increase your Flight Speed by +30 ft. (and increase maneuverability to Perfect).

Epic Summon Fishbowl (Epic Feat)
You can summon a truly Epic Fishbowl.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Greater Summon Fishbowl
 Benefits: You may 'lose' an Epic spell to create a water filled sphere of Force as a personal conveyance.  The Sphere provides you a +10 Deflection Bonus to AC.  It also has an 80 ft. Flight Speed, with Perfect Maneuverability.  The Fishbowl lasts up to 24 hours.  If you sacrifice a second spell when creating your Fishbowl, your personal Fishbowl gains one of the following options (you may choose which one you want when creating the fishbowl): Energy Resistance 20 of any one type, DR 10/Epic, SR equal to your CR +16, or increase your Flight Speed by +40 ft.

Curse of the Guppy Folk
Your curse causes land dwellers to gain the Aquatic Subtype, meaning they can't breathe air.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Must be able to cast Bestow Curse
 Benefits: When you cast Bestow Curse you can choose instead to give your opponent the Aquatic Subtype.  Which can be bad if you do it when there's no water around.  This curse can be removed in the usual manner and is otherwise identical to the Bestow Curse spell.  If you choose to cast Bestow Curse in this manner, it uses a spell slot one level higher than normal.

Curse of the Guppy Eyes
Your curse causes your opponent to gain huge round eyes.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Curse of the Guppy Folk
 Benefits: When you cast Bestow Curse you can choose instead to curse your opponent so that he takes a -8 Penalty all Saving Throws against Gaze Attacks.  This curse can be removed in the usual manner and is otherwise identical to the Bestow Curse spell. 

Curse of the Goldfish Bowl
Your opponent is imprisoned in a Fishbowl.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Summon Fishbowl, must be able to cast 4th Level spells
 Benefits: You may expend any spell of 4th Level or higher that you have memorized to spontaneously cast Otiluke's Resilient Sphere.

Curse of Fin Rot
Your curse causes your opponent to have difficulties in the water.
 Prerequisites: Guppy, Curse of the Guppy Folk
 Benefits: When you cast Bestow Curse instead of the usual effect you can curse your opponent to take a -8 Penalty on all Swim Checks.  This curse can be removed in the usual manner and is otherwise identical to the Bestow Curse spell.


GUPPY FOLK
Before fleeing to the Jester's Realm, the Furry species (including Guppy Folk) came from a world where Humans and the Furry Peoples were eternally at war.  With the humans on the verge of wiping the Furry Peoples out, the Jester offered them a new home.  They were quick to accept.

YOU KNOW WE HAVE CURSES, RIGHT?
The Guppy Folk are anthropomorphic fish about the size of Halflings.  While they vastly prefer warm water environments, they'll accept colder areas if they're pollution free.  They are very easily upset by pollution.

QUIT PEEING IN THE RIVER!
The Guppies are well known wielders of curses, which they learn to keep the bigger folk at bay.  Otherwise they tend to get bullied, and they sure aren't putting up with that.  They are the prime source, in fact, of many anti-bullying campaigns.

GUPPY FOLK NAMES
Guppy names tend to be descriptive of either physical attributes (Bigeyes, Redfins, Black Tail) or deeds (Basskiller) or something the Guppy is noted for.  Surnames are generally unhearable by most other races.

GUPPY FOLK TRAITS

Ability Score Increase. Increase your Dexterity by +1, Wisdom by +1, and your Charisma score by +1.

Age. Guppy Folk reach adulthood in their late teens and live less than a century.

Alignment. Most Guppy Folk are Neutral.

Type. You are a Humanoid.

Size. You are Small.  You are around 3 to 4 feet tall and weigh around 40 pounds.

Speed. Your walking speed is 30 feet.  You have a Swim speed of 30 feet.

Curse: Starting at 3rd level, you can cast the Hex spell with this trait. Starting at 5th level, you can also cast the Bestow Curse spell with it, without requiring a material component. Once you cast either of these spells with this trait, you can’t cast that spell with it again until you finish a long rest. You can also cast these spells using spell slots you have of the appropriate level.

    Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma is your spellcasting ability for these spells when you cast them with this trait (choose when you select this species).

Nimble. You can move through the space of any creature that is of a size larger than yours.

Amphibious. You can breathe air and water.

Knowledgeable. You gain proficiency in a skill of your choice, or gain Expertise in one you are already proficient in.

Languages. You speak, read and write Guppy, and any one other language of your choice.


Summon Fishbowl   (Prerequisite: Must be Guppy Folk, and must be 4th Level.)
You can summon a magical globe of force filled with water to protect you or other aquatic creatures on land. Once per Short or Long Rest, you may create a water filled sphere of Force as a personal conveyance.  The Sphere provides you, or another creature that is Medium Size or smaller, a +1 to AC.  It also has a Flight Speed equal to 20 feet.  The Fishbowl lasts a number of hours equal to your Proficiency Bonus.


Guppy Folk
"This is the cleanest river I have ever seen."

Building A Better World Through Curses
"Which must be an effort given the local industry."

"That's because we work hard to maintain it."

"Oh!  Good evening ma'am.  We're looking for 12 North River Way."

"You've found me.  What can I do for you?"

"We're on the trail of a villain, and we were given your address."

"y address?  By who?"

"A Gopher got it from the Little Black Book."

"My address was in the Little Black Book?  Crap, I need to mend my ways..."

"We're looking for a man named Cohle.  The pollution from his factories is creating undead."


Defenders of the Waterways

"I'll see what I can find.  Is that pie for me?."

"Yes ma'am?"

"Excellent!  Give me two hours."

"Is there an Inn here?"

"Yes. There's a nice little Capybara family at the end of the road."

[bhu]

DANUBANS (aka The Fat Bastards)


   
"What did you call me?"

 The Danubans are enormously fat humans.  The males tend to be bearded with dark hair and eyes, and the hair/eye color of women varies (though brunettes and blonds are common).

DANUBAN RACIAL TRAITS
·   Males: +2 Int, +4 Wis, -2 Dex, -2 Con, -2 Cha  Females: +2 Str, +2 Wis, -2 Dex, -2 Con
·   Medium
·   Humanoid (Human)
·   Base Land speed 20'
·   Thick Boned: The Danubans Constitution is considered 4 points higher for purposes of determining hit points only.
·   Biggie Sized: The Danubans are considered to be Large for purposes of Opposed Combat Checks (Grapple, Bull Rush, etc), but take a -1 Penalty to Dexterity Based skills due to awkwardness.
·   Damage Reduction 2/-.  This stacks with similar DR gained from Class abilities such as Barbarian.
·   Automatic Languages: Common.  Bonus Languages: Bonus languages generally depend on who or what lives nearby.
·   Level Adjustment: +0
·   Favored Class: Any Class with Full BAB if female, or any casting class based off of Int if male.

STARTING AGE
 Adulthood: 14
 Barbarian, Rogue, Sorcerer: +1d4
 Bard, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger: +1d6
 Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard: +2d6

AGING EFFECTS
 Middle Age: 30
 Old: 45
 Venerable: 60
 Maximum Age: +2d10 years

HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
 Base Height: Male: 4'10" Female: 4'5"
 Height Modifier: +2d10"
 Base Weight: Male: 200 lbs.  Female: 150 lbs.
 Weight Modifier: (x2d6) lbs.

DANUBAN CHARACTERS
 If you'd like an arcane caster a little more durable than usual, a male Danuban works.  And if you want a big ole fighting tank their women are slow but tuff.
 Adventuring Race: For the Danubans it's generally about pride, glory, greed, or the need for revenge.  They aren't nicknamed the Fat Bastards for nothing.
 Character Development: Remember you are somewhat slower than other Medium races and to take that into account in builds.  Also keep in mind your penalties to Dex based skills when designing your PC.
 Character Names: Use Austrian or German names for Danubans.

ROLEPLAYING A DANUBAN
 Your race has a reputation for being petty, snide, sarcastic, and generally antisocial.  And that's because you are.  It's ingrained in your races psyche.  You don't mean it as personally as some people think (well, some of you don't) but most people take it that way.  Possibly because they haven't grown up in a culture as competitive and aggressive as your own.
 Personality: Danubans believe in personal success and social reputation strongly (some would say above all else).  So they tend to take personal attacks quite strongly, and they have a strong vengeful streak.  Stealing from one or denying them an opportunity is generally not advised as they will devote their lives to destroying you.
 Behaviors: Danubans spend much of their time either working to get ahead, or networking in their time off.  Every moment is an opportunity for something.  Either a way to gain favor, or allies, or wealth, or power.  Not taking that opportunity is considered a possible sign of mental deficiency amongst them.
 Language: Danubans generally speak Common.

DANUBAN SOCIETY
 Danubans are highly competitive.  They always want to be seen as first among others, either the richest, or the most powerful, or the strongest in some way.  They do not rest until they have proved themselves to be better than those around them.  Their take no prisoners attitude doesn't exactly make them friends in many places.
 Alignment : Danubans are largely Lawful, as a system of rules in place gives them a system to exploit for their own gain (meaning they also have some tendencies towards Evil, though not as strongly as some may believe).
 Lands : Most Danubans live in Danubus (at least in my campaign).
 Settlements : Often being merchants or in other professions where serious money is to be made, Danubans tend to settle along major trade routes.
 Beliefs : The Danubans tend to worship the Professional Pantheon, and whatever other Gods are popular locally in order to get more business.
 Relations: Danubans look upon other races with equal measures of disdain, and thoughts of opportunity.  On the one hand they're annoying and get in the way.  On the other hand they can mean money and power. 

DANUBAN ADVENTURES
·   The leader of your Guild has announced a contest for promotion.  Whichever of you can bring the most money in by whatever means gets it.  And you just happen to know where a large repository of cash is being guarded.  Now if only you had 3 or more larcenous minded friends to help you liberate it...
·   You were going to be made partner in a local Merchants collective, until someone black balled you.  They must be made to pay.  And the collective as well.  Hell you may as well burn the city while you're at this.
·   A relative wants you to field test some of his latest inventions.  You think the lightweight Plate Mail will be nice, but the Monkey Launcher makes you nervous...




DANUBAN RACIAL SUBSTITUTION LEVELS


BARBARIAN
 Level 1: Replace Fast Movement and Illiteracy with Immovable.
  Immovable (Ex):  You gain a +4 Circumstance Bonus to resist Bull Rush, Grapple, Overrun, and Trip Checks.
 Levels 3, 6, 9, 12, and 15: Replace Trap Sense with Heavy Armor Optimization
  Heavy Armor Optimization (Ex): You gain proficiency with Heavy Armor at Level 3.  At levels 6, 9, 12, and 15 the Armor Check Penalty you suffer when wearing Heavy Armor is lessened by 1.

WIZARD
 Level 1: Replace Summon Familiar with Arrogant Prick
  Arrogant Prick (Su): Being quite full of yourself you have an absolute certainty your spells will work.  Once per encounter if your opponent successfully Saves against a spell you cast you can make him re roll that Save, but must stick with the new result.

CLERIC
 Level 1: Replace Turn or Rebuke Undead with Divine Wrath
  Divine Wrath (Su): A number of times per day equal to 3 plus your Charisma Modifier you may smite the non-believers.  This is a Standard Action and has a Range of 60'.  It does 1d6 Sacred (or Profane if Evil or Neutral) damage per 2 caster Levels.





DANUBAN FEATS


Unstoppable Force
It''s hard to stop you once you get going.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, Improved Bull Rush
 Benefits: You may take 10 on Bull Rush or Overrun Attacks.

Immovable Object
It's also pretty darn hard to move you.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, Hold the Line
 Benefits: You may take 10 on Checks made to oppose Bull Rush or Overrun attacks.

Throwing Your Weight Around
Your massive size makes grappling holds difficult to cinch in.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, Improved Grapple
 Benefits: You gain a +4 Circumstance Bonus to Escape from or oppose Grapple Checks.

Weighty Words
Spells you cast with a Verbal component are more powerful.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, any 1 Metamagic Feat
 Benefits: Spells you cast with a Verbal component have their Save DC increased by +1 (this stacks with other Feats like Spell Focus).

Fat Bastard
Your damn tired of other peoples snide remarks, and it's time for some revenge.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, cannot be Good
 Benefits: You gain a +2 Morale Bonus to attack rolls when attacking anyone who has insulted or attacked you in the past.

Weighty Secrets
You have learned to use your mass on the rare chance you get to ambush a foe
 Prerequisites: Danuban, Sneak Attack +1d6, BAB +2
 Benefits: Whenever you successfully make a Sneak Attack you may add your Size Bonus to Grapple Checks to the damage roll.

Acrofatic
You are unusually agile for your size.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, Dex 13+
 Benefits: You lose your Racial Penalty to Dex Based Skill Checks.  You also gain a +2 Bonus to Tumble Checks.

Weighty Tomes
You have enchanted your spellbook making it pretty darn hard to lift by anyone except you or the local giants.
 Prerequisites: Danuban, Wizard 6
 Benefits: Anyone attempting to lift your spellbook but you must make a STR Check (DC is 10 plus 1/2 your Hit Dice plus your Int Modifier) each round.  Anyone failing more than 3 Checks is Fatigued for 1 hour.  If they fail another Check they are Exhausted instead.

[bhu]

Headless Mule
                      Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             5d10+15 (42 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +5/+12
Attack:               Hoof +7 melee (1d4+3)
Full Attack:          2 Hooves +7 melee (1d4+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Hallucinatory Aura
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 4, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills:               Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats:                Ability Focus (Hallucinatory Aura), Endurance
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-12)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...ever since we bought this mule...the world seems...strange..."

Despite the name Headless Mules are not actually headless.  Ask anyone their origin story, and you'll get some weird, bizarre crap about a woman sleeping with a priest and being cursed to become a headless mule that spits fire and rainbows, and haunts the countryside on Thursdays. 

In reality, this particular species of mule has evolved to use magic as a defense in a similar manner to the Pale Horse.  Except, instead of seeing the Mule as some incarnation of death, victims get a reeeeeeeeally bad trip.  The hallucinatory effect is responsible for the many crazy origin stories regarding the Mule, several local towns in the area, and a great many legends that don't make a damn bit of sense to anyone other than the towns residents. 

Hallucinatory Aura (Su): Any creature within 60 ft. of a Headless Mule must make a DC 17 Willpower Save or go batshit crazy and begin hallucinating (Save DC is Cha based).  The Save DC is +1 for every 10 feet closer than 60 feet the creature is.  If the Save is Failed the opponent sees/hears/interacts with something that isn't  there, and misses it's turn.  If the victim fails the Save by 5 or more or rolls a Natural 1, it's fears come to life, and they are affected by a Phantasmal Killer spell instead.  Opponents must make a Save each round they are in range.  This is a Mind-Affecting Effect.

Combat: Headless Mules are rarely required to be involved in combat.  Most of the time they chew grass while watching predators freak out curled up in a fetal position.  They have seen many things.  Horrible things.  The world should be glad they cannot speak of them.



Headless Mule

"I can taste Colors Harlan..."

"Step away from the mule Jim!"

Approach Not The Biggie Sized Mule

"Why doesn't the mule have a head Harlan?"

"Step away from the mule Jim!"


Despite The Name It Has A Head, We Assure You

"But the Mule is fun!

"Okay, just stand still.  I'm sending in the Flesh Golems to retrieve you."