Author Topic: Jesters Realm Critters  (Read 64367 times)

Offline bhu

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #20 on: November 11, 2011, 08:34:16 PM »
Sometimes the gods have a particularly odd sense of humor. Or perhaps they like to get drunk or stoned. In any event they seem to be responsible for cursing the occasional animal with Were-humanism. Under the light of the full moon these poor creatures become humanoids. This is not a pleasant experience for them, as slowly over the period of a month they become fully intelligent. But even though they have intelligence that doesn't immediately help them. Fish in the middle of the ocean or birds who are flying at a great height....usually don't enjoy their first transformation. Or survive it. Even animals that do survive the wilderness and learn to control their transformation over time have problems when discovered by people. They're naked, cant talk, and act like animals. Which means people think they are cursed (which is true) and find someone to dispel the curse (turning the Were Human into a normal, unintelligent animal again), burn them as witches in some sort of misunderstanding, or take them in and try to teach them to be people "again". This rarely works out well as the Were Human still has certain atavistic responses. Spiders are still tempted to eat their mates after um..mating. Sharks still investigate new things by biting them. Squirrels are obsessed with hoarding nuts. You get the idea.  Thankfully the Gawdess of Zoanthropes (Talindra) has taken to adopting them.


Creating a Were Human

Were Human is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Animal or Vermin.

Size and Type: The base creatures type changes to Magical Beast, and it gains the Shapechanger subtype. Size in animal form is unchanged. Size in Humanoid form is Medium or Small (depending on what Humanoid race you resemble). Size in Hybrid form is midway between the two. For example a Colossal Giant Spider would be Huge in its Hybrid form if it's Humanoid Form were Medium. (To make this easier assign each Size Class a number, add the 2 numbers and divide by 2 and round down. Fine:1, Diminutive:2, Tiny:3, etc.).

Hit Dice: Hit Dice become d10's now that the Were Human is a Magical Beast.  It gains one additional d10 Hit Die.

Speed: Land and Swim speed remains unchanged in all 3 forms. If the base creature has no land speed, the humanoid and hybrid forms have a land speed of 15 for Small and 20 for Medium. Flight, Climb and Burrow speeds are unavailable in Humanoid form, and half normal in Hybrid form (maneuverability class is one worse than Animal form).

Armor Class: Natural Armor Bonus increases by +2. Natural armor bonus is half normal (round up) in Hybrid form.  For example a Crocodile normally has +4 Natural armor Bonus to AC.  A Were Human Crocodile would have +6 in crocodile form, +3 in Hybrid Form, and +2 in Humanoid form.

Attack: Base Attack Bonus now becomes +1 per Hit Die. The Were Human retains all natural attacks in Hybrid and Animal forms (although the damage of the attacks in it's Hybrid form may be modified due to the change in Size, see page 291 of the Monster manual). In humanoid form a Were-Human is considered to have the Improved Unarmed Strike Feat.

Special Attacks: All Special Attacks are retained in Animal and Hybrid Forms. Only the following Special Attacks are retained in Humanoid form: Ferocity, Improved Grab, Pounce, Rage, Trip. Improved Grab now triggers with a successful unarmed strike. It also gains Curse of Humanthropy while in Humanoid and Hybrid form:

Curse of Humanthropy (Su): Any animal or vermin successfully bitten by a Were Human becomes a Were Human itself unless it makes a successful Fortitude Save. Save DC is 10 + 1/2 Hit Dice + Constitution modifier. If the base creature does not normally have a bite attack it now gains a Bite as a secondary attack doing 1 point of damage plus 1/2 Strength modifier in Humanoid and Hybrid Forms.  In Animal forms the ite damage is based on size: Fine (1 point), Diminutive (1d2), Tiny (1d3), Small (1d4), Medium (1d6), Large (1d8),  Huge (2d6), Gargantuan (2d8) or Colossal (4d6)..

Special Qualities: The Were Human retains all Special qualities in all 3 forms, except Ink Cloud, Jet, Blindsight, and qualities based on alternative physiologies. These are only available in Animal and Hybrid Forms. Vermin Were Humans lose the Mindless Trait as well. Aquatic Were Humans (i.e. Fish) gain Hold Breath in Humanoid form. They may hold their breath for 8 x their Constitution modifier in rounds before they risk drowning (but since they have no problem making swim checks it wont be too much of a problem). All Were Humans gain Alternate Form, and Empathy in all 3 forms.

Alternate Form (Su): The Were Human can assume a bipedal Hybrid Form or become a humanoid. Only the appearance really changes. The Humanoid and Hybrid forms have hands, but that's the only real difference. Changing forms is a full round action until the Were Human has made a DC 15 Willpower Save to control it. After this changing forms is a standard action. Separated body parts or dead Were Humans revert to animal form.

Empathy (Su): The Were Human can communicate with Humanoids of its own species and (i.e. a Were Human that resembles a Human gains this ability against Humans) receives a +4 Racial bonus on Charisma based skill checks against them. It doesn't know how to speak humanoid languages initially, but still receives the +4 bonus on Charisma based skill checks. Maybe its pheromones. Or maybe people aren't as smart as they think....

Damage Reduction (Ex): A Were Human in Humanoid or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Abilities: With the exception of Strength abilities remain the same in all 3 forms. The Were Human rolls 3d6 for Int, and gets +2 Wis, and +4 Cha. For Strength in Hybrid Form, add 10 plus the Animal Forms Strength, divide by 2, and round up. For Strength in humanoid form take 10 and add (or subtract if negative) the Animal Forms Strength modifier.  It also gains a 1 increase to any one ability score for every 4 hit dice.

Saves: If the Were Human was a vermin its Saving Throws must be recalculated as it is now a Magical Beast.  Increase Base Creature's Reflex Save by +2.

Skills: Racial skill bonuses are retained in all 3 forms.  Initially the Were Human knows no languages, but can learn them.  Recalculate skill points due to ability score changes.

Feats: Unchanged, unless the extra Hit Die would qualify it for an additional Feat.  Remember to add Feats if the base creature was Mindless.

Environment: Unchanged.

Organization: Usually becomes Solitary. Pack creatures may form packs if there are enough of them.

Challenge Rating:+1

Treasure: Standard

Alignment: Still Neutral, though that may begin to alter depending on the Were Humans newfound circumstances.

Advancement: By Character Class

Level Adjustment: +3 (this is in addition to any Level Adjustment that would be necessary for the Base Creature's abilities, which I will stat out if there's enough demand for it)

Human Appearance: The Were Humans humanoid form appears to be of a member of any nearby humanoid race.  Scaly animals will have rough skin, hairy animals will still be uncommonly hairy, etc. Animals without hair will be bald in humanoid form. Skin color will be within the humanoid species range but similar to its animal form. For example a shark will be very pale, or have a slight greyish cast to its skin.



Authors Note: I know this is somewhat different than the standard Lycanthrope Template, but it IS a bit unusual, and meant for a silly campaign.

Example Were-Human: "Buffalo" Bill Johnson

Human Form
Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 6d10+18 (51 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 12 (+2 Natural) , touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+9
Attack: Unarmed Strike +9 melee (1d3+3)
Full Attack: Unarmed Strike +9 melee (1d3+3) and 1 Bite +4 melee (2 points)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Curse of Humanthropy
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Alternate Form, Empathy
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 9
Skills: Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Class Levels
Level Adjustment: -


Hybrid Form
Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 6d10+18 (51 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (+3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+9
Attack: Gore +9 melee (1d6+4)
Full Attack: 1 Gore +9 melee (1d6+4 and 1 Bite +4 melee (2 pts)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Curse of Humanthropy
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Alternate Form, Empathy
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 9
Skills: Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Class Levels
Level Adjustment: ----


Bison Form
Large Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 6d10+18 (51 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +6 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+16
Attack: Gore +11 melee (1d8+9)
Full Attack: 1 Gore +11 melee (1d8 +9)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Stampede
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Empathy, Alternate Form
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 22, Dex 10, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 9
Skills: Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Power Attack
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Class level
Level Adjustment: ---

Late one July evening a simple Buffalo was bitten by a Coyote Were-Human whom his herd promptly stomped to death. This Buffalo found himself growing ever more self aware over the coming weeks. He began to think. "Is this all I do with my life? Eat grass?" "Why are the other Buffalo so bloody stupid?" "Man, I really need a bath."

Eventually he split from the herd and wondered near a human settlement on the night of the full moon where he received the shock of his life as he turned into a naked man. He then received the second great shock of his life as a woman marched out of her hut, screamed upon seeing him, and knocked him blissfully unconscious with the club she was carrying. At which point he became a Buffalo.

Thankfully the town knew of a nearby Druid who explained things. Bill has been adopted by the Johnson family who are currently trying to teach him several things: How to speak the common language, how to work a farm, and why being naked is bad for you.









Were Human

"So you used to just be a normal Viper.  How did you come to this?"

"I was sunning on a rock, when several drunken Gawds fell from the sky, zapped me, and then took off after peeing in the bushes."

"That had to be a rough day."

"Not as rough as the first full moon.  The other Vipers chased me off because they didn't know what was going on, but thankfullya Cleric of Talindra rounded up myself and several other victims.  After I nearly froze to death."

"So how do you feel about being partly human now?"

"Clothing sucks, I don't get the obsession your kind has with bosoms, and I feel your society is largely predicated on concepts that are pure horse (beep)."

The Gawds Strike Again

"Fair enough.  I understand you lot have been adopted by the Curch?"

"Indeed.  Being other weres, they understand our situation more than most of your kind."

"Any surprises about your new life?"

"I never realized just how weird you people were.  Honey for example.  Which one of you saw a beehive and thought 'I bet I can take them'."

Confusion Reigns Supreme

"It largely comes down to famines.  Famines make fools of us all."

"That checks out, I guess."
« Last Edit: December 26, 2022, 06:24:48 PM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #21 on: November 11, 2011, 08:34:43 PM »
Were-Kittens

Originally created by Talindra, the Goddess of Zoanthropes, to serve as her spies, Were Kittens have spread about the world. Many other organizations have found ways to use them besides hers, and they have found a very lucrative niche in some places. Some others simply enjoy life as kittens and the free food that comes with being one.  And it comes in handy when fleeing the law too.

Were Kitten is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid.

Size and Type: Type doesn’t change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Kitten form is Diminutive, Size in Hybrid form is Tiny. Size in humanoid form is unchanged.

Hit Dice: Unchanged

Speed: Land speed is 30 in Hybrid and Kitten forms, otherwise unchanged. May not use any alternate movement forms the humanoid form possesses in the Kitten or hybrid Forms.

Armor Class: Use the humanoid forms Natural Armor bonus for all 3 forms. Natural Armor bonus increases by +1.

Base Attack/Grapple: Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms (Grapple bonus will change due to Size penalties in Hybrid and Kitten forms).

Attacks: Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Kitten in Kitten Form (Kittens have 2 claw attacks doing 1 point of damage plus Strength bonus, and 1 Bite doing 1d2 + 1/2 Strength bonus), attacks in Hybrid Form are 2 Claw attacks doing 1d2 plus Strength and 1 Bite doing 1d3 plus Strength.

Special Attacks: A zoanthrope retains the special attacks of the base creature or base animal, depending on which form it is using, and also gains the special attacks described below:

Curse of Zoanthropy(Su):  Any humanoid or giant hit by a natural zoanthrope’s bite attack in animal or hybrid form must succeed on a DC 15 Fortitude save or contract zoanthropy. If the victim’s size is not within one size category of the zoanthrope the victim cannot contract zoanthropy from that zoanthrope. Afflicted zoanthropes cannot pass on the curse of zoanthropy.

Special Qualities: A zoanthrope retains all the special qualities of the base creature and the base animal, and also gains those described below:

Alternate Form (Su):  A zoanthrope can assume the form of a specific animal (as indicated in its entry).  Changing to or from animal or hybrid form is a standard action.  A slain zoanthrope reverts to its humanoid form, although it remains dead. Separated body parts retain their animal form, however.  Afflicted zoanthropes find this ability difficult to control, but natural zoanthropes have full control over this power.

Damage Reduction (Ex): An afflicted zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 5/silver. A natural zoanthrope in animal or hybrid form has damage reduction 10/silver.

Cat Empathy (Ex): In any form, zoanthropes can communicate and empathize with normal or dire animals of their animal form. This gives them a +4 racial bonus on checks when influencing the animal’s attitude and allows the communication of simple concepts and (if the animal is friendly) commands, such as "friend," "foe," "flee," and "attack."

Low-light Vision (Ex): A zoanthrope has low-light vision in any form.

Scent (Ex): A zoanthrope has the scent ability in any form.

Saves: Increase Base creatures Fortitude and Reflex Saves by +2.

Abilities: Were Kittens gain +2 Wis. In Kitten and Hybrid Forms it gains +4 Dex, +2 Cha.

Skills: Were Kittens gain a + 8 Racial bonus to Jump and Balance checks. They also have a +4 Racial bonus to Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks. Skill Bonuses are gained in Kitten and Hybrid forms only, and while in heavy undergrowth or tall grass the Hide bonus increases to +8. Were Kittens may use their Strength or Dexterity modifier for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

Feats: Weapon Finesse and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

Environment: Unchanged.

Organization: Solitary (Unchanged if there are enough other Were Kittens about, or in squads of 5-10 if working for the Lycanthrope Goddess).

Challenge Rating: +1

Treasure: Standard

Alignment: Usually Neutral with some tendencies towards Chaos.

Advancement: By Character Class

Level Adjustment:+2


Example Were Kitten: 1st level human Ninja, Lil Mister Fuzzy

Human Form

Medium Humanoid (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 1d6-1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja), touch 15, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/+1
Attack: Short Sword +2 melee (1d6+1) or Short Bow +2 Ranged (1d6)
Full Attack: Short Sword +2 melee(1d6+1) or Short Bow +2 Ranged (1d6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: +1d6 Sudden Strike
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Alternate Form, Cat Empathy, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +6, Will +5
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 15, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 13
Skills: Balance +10, Bluff +5, Climb +6, Disable Device +4, Escape Artist +6, Hide +6, Jump +10, Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Open Lock +6, Search +4, Spot +5,Tumble +6
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will (b), Weapon Finesse (b)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +2


Hybrid Form

Tiny Humanoid (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 1d6-1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja), touch 19, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-7
Attack: Claw +6 melee (1d2+1)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +6 (1d2+1) and 1 Bite +1 melee(1d3+1)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./ 0 ft.
Special Attacks: +1d6 Sudden Strike, Cursed Bite
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Cat Empathy, Alternate Form, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 19, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 15
Skills: Balance +12, Bluff +6, Climb +8, Disable Device +4, Escape Artist +8, Hide +16, Jump +12, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Open Lock +8, Search +4, Spot +5, Tumble +8
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: +1 Afflicted (+2 Natural)

Kitten Form

Diminutive Humanoid (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 1d6-1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (+4 Size,+4 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja ), touch 20, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-11
Attack: Claw +8 melee (1 point)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +8 melee (1 point) and 1 Bite +3 melee (1d2+1)
Space/Reach: 1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: +1d6 Sudden Strike, Cursed Bite
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Cat Empathy, Alternate Form, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 19, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 15
Skills: Balance +12, Bluff +6, Climb +8, Disable Device +4, Escape Artist +8, Hide +16, Jump +12, Listen +5, Move Silently +8, Open Lock +8, Search +4, Spot +5, Tumble +8
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: +2

Lil Mister Fuzzy was bitten by a Werekitten on a job.  Laughed out of his ninja clan, he now specializes as a spy and saboteur for those willing to pay for his unique skills.

Lord Fuzzington: Good evening everyone, please be seated!
(crowd murmurs)
Lord Fuzzington: As you know the local sushi house, Bob's Stale Fish has been ransacked and taken over by PIRATES!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HIIISSSS!!
Lord Fuzzington: We cannot allow this!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington:Tonight our claws shall drink deeply into their poofy pirate shirts!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington:  And then we shall mock them while wearing their own eyepatches!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington: As I understand the captain and his core crew are currently passed out drunk at the Itchy Walrus.   After we dispatch them we retake Bobs!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington: And the gods willing Bob will be a little less stingy with the free sashimi for kitties in the future...
Crowd: YEAH!



Were Kitten

BAMF!!

"Where are we now Harlan?"

"Should be a church in the city of Arrival.  Hopefully still a Church that isn't all sacrificey."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Who's Mommies Widdle Angel?

"Must you scream like that?"

"I always scream when I walk into my quarters and find strange people there."

"Why are you naked?"

"Why aren't you?"

Spies of the Zoanthropw Gawdess!

"Fair enough."

"Guards!"

"Relax man.  Clearlly my teleport spell was off.  No need to be unreasonable."
« Last Edit: December 19, 2022, 11:53:45 PM by bhu »

Offline bhu

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #22 on: November 11, 2011, 08:36:17 PM »
Good Kitty
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 18d10+36 (135 hp)
Initiative: +8
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +4 Deflection, +1 Natural), touch 21, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +18/+7
Attack: Claw +24 melee (1d2 -3)
Full Attack: 2 Claws + 24 melee (1d2-3) and 1 Bite (1d3-3)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Gaze Attack, Spell-Like Abilities
Special Qualities: Scent, Dark Vision 60 ft., Telepathy (150 ft.), Low Light Vision, Unreadable
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +15, Will +12
Abilities: Str 5, Dex 19, Con 15, Int 15, Wis 19, Cha 19
Skills: Balance +12, Bluff +14, Diplomacy +14, Climb +18, Gather Information +14, Hide +16, Jump +12, Knowledge (local) +12, Listen +14, Move Silently +16, Sense Motive +14, Spot +14
Feats: Ability Focus (Gaze Attack), Alertness, Improved Initiative, Dodge, Mobility, Iron Will, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Pair
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 19+ HD (Small)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Sassy is mama's good widdle piddy!  Yes she is!"

Good kitties are hyper intelligent, extra fwuffy kitties who's goals are generally to take over the world. Not out of malice, but because of a sincere belief that they can do better than people. Generally they move into a village and begin to slowly influence people, and work their way up the chain of command until they are the power behind the throne so to speak. They are often quite fond of their charges and will protect them as much as they can, but being Neutral, they are still as selfish and capricious as any Kitty. An easy sign of their presence in a village is that at least one farmer will be cultivating a field of catnip.

And woe be unto he who shall disrupt the catnip production.

Good Kitties speak common and any 2 other languages of the DM's choice.

Unreadable (Su): The Good Kitty detects as being Neutral Good regardless of its actual alignment. This effect cannot be dispelled but it does turn off in an antimagic field.

Gaze Attack (Su): Charm Monster, 30 ft., DC 25 Willpower Save negates. Save is Charisma based. Caster level is equal to Hit Dice.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will: Detect Thoughts (DC 16), Discern Shapechanger, Entice Gift (DC 16), Locate Objects, See Invisibility

3/day: Arcane Sight, Clairaudience/Clairvoyance, Detect Scrying, Lesser Geas (DC 18), Lesser Telepathic Bond, Know Vulnerabilities (DC 18), Locate Creature, Scrying (DC 18), Suggestion (DC 17)

1/day: Dominate Person (DC 19)

Skills (Ex): Kitties have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks (hide bonus increases to +8 in tall grass or heavy undergrowth). They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Jump checks. kitties may use their Str or Dex modifier for Climb or Jump checks.

Combat: Good Kitties rarely participate in combat, as they are not meant for it. They will send charmed subjects to defend them or run away.  If they know their opponent doesn't know what they are, they may be telepathically directing the battle from nearby.



Good Kitties
"Planting catnip 'round here suggests feline problems of a different sort."

Just Normal Lil Kittehs
"Feline problems?."

"There's more than one mystical cat species here??"

"There are rumors of intelligent cats taking over remote towns by mind control.".

"Are they more than rumors?"

"Our Sheriff has not been able to confirm that, but the local populace generally accepts it as true."

"What else can you tell us about the rumors?"

"Not much.  Generally if the local government has cats, and the farmers are growing a catnip field, they've been taken over."

"How do you tell the difference between them and regular cats?"


Move Along Citizen, Nothing To See Here

"We don't."

"That sounds terrifying."

"Absolutely, yes."

"Well, we have an appointment the next Shire over, so..."
« Last Edit: November 05, 2023, 06:07:39 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #23 on: November 11, 2011, 08:36:35 PM »
Cash Cow
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4d8+16 (34 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 Size, +8 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+13
Attack: Butt +8 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack: Butt +8 melee (1d8+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Stampede, Trample (2d6+7)
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Valuable, DR 5/Adamantine
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 10, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +6, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary or Herd (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: See text
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 5-6 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...that cow's hide looks ta be made o' Platinum..."

Cash Cows appear to be regular cattle whose hide has a somewhat metallic sheen. When killed they may are usually dissected, as many of their organs are precious metals. It's uncertain exactly how they came about, but an insane mage is assumed to be the case as usual. Someone wanted cattle that could eat earth and raw ore and poop refined metals. He got it, but in the process they convert so much of the stuff that their insides slowly become metal. They are the same size as normal cattle but weigh twice as much.

Stampede (Ex): A frightened herd of Cash Cattle run in a random direction, literally running over anything Large or smaller. Anything in their path takes 1d12 damage for every 5 cattle in the herd (Reflex Save DC 17 for half damage, Save DC is Strength based).

Trample (Ex): Reflex Save DC 17 for half damage (Save DC is Strength based)

Valuable (Ex): Cash Cattle are pretty much inedible, and so is their milk. However if fed raw ore they can 'refine' it into a purified state (a full grown cow can 'process' 2 pounds of raw ore per day). Fully mature cattle are worth about 5 GP per pound (and weigh up to 2000 pounds) dead, but quite a bit more alive.

Combat: Preeetty much the same as your standard cow really...





Cash Cow
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my easily cloned assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at Bos Aureus, more popularly known as the Cash Cow.  Fairly similar looking to modern cattle, they weigh almost twice as much due to the metallic compounds infusing their bodies.  They're thought to have originated in the land of Rivenburgh, and have since spread throughout the world."

Centers of Industry
"Cash Cows are mineral eaters, who can somehow eat raw ore and, er, 'refine' it into pure metals.  Over time most of their organs become a flexible organic metal, and many are stolen for this reason.  Their incredible weight and durable nature make this a difficult task for would be rustlers.  Allow me to demonstrate!"

Magic Origin
"Careful Jim!  It's said the Cash Cattle were the brainchild of Prak the Mad, and as we all know his creations can be rather...frisky."

"MOO!"

"Sweet Jebus!"
« Last Edit: March 12, 2022, 06:18:42 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #24 on: November 11, 2011, 08:37:13 PM »
Armordillo
Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 2d10+10 (21 hp)
Initiative: -2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (+1 Size, -2 Dex, +9 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-2
Attack: Nibble +3 melee (1d3)
Full Attack: Nibble +3 melee (1d3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Invulnerability10/-, Immunities, Hard to Budge, Scent, Fortified
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +1, Will +0
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 6, Con 20, Int 1, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Listen +5, Spot +4
Feats: Alertness
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Martha...I just broke my sledgehammer on thet critter's head.  Time to call the professionals..."

The Armordillo appears to be a normal armadillo in all respects except 3:

It is a voracious devourer of vegetable crops.
It is incredibly heavy (200+ pounds) for it's size.
It has no fear.

Whether it was created , or evolved naturally, 10 out of 10 farmers agree the Armordillo has to go.  The problem is how.  The things are damn near invulnerable, so unless they're willing to shell out serious money for help, they're stuck with them.

Invulnerability (Ex): Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities.  For example the Armordillo has Invulnerability 10.  That means it negates the first 10 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

Immunities (Ex): The Armordillo is immune to Fear or morale based effects. It is also immune to non lethal damage, and cannot be Stunned, Dazed, or Staggered. 

Fortified (Ex): If an enemy confirms a critical result on an attack roll the Armordillo has a 50% chance of making it just a normal hit.

Hard to Budge (Ex):The Armordillo does not take a Size Penalty when resisting Grapple, Bull Rush, or Trip checks. It also has a +4 Racial Bonus when resisting such checks.

Combat: Armordillo's never initiate combat. They go about their business of devouring crops, and sometimes even ignore attackers if they can't manage to do any damage.  The sight of a bunch of villagers breaking their farming tools on the back of a small critter has stunned more than one PC.  Usually just before desperate villagers agree to pay them to remove the things.  They're less of a hazard or wandering monster, and more of a stubborn obstacle.




Armordillo
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my easily frustrated assistant Jim!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Armrdillo, also known as Dasypus loricatus.  Believed to be a descendant or offshoot of the more common 7 Banded Armadillo, how they acquired their incredible armor isn't known.  Thanks to it, they have no natural predators, or at least none willing to put forth the effort that would be needed.  Isn't that right Jim?"

A Threat To Crops
"We've been trying to move this thing from Farmer John's fields all day Harlan, and it looks like we're now waiting on a local mage to give us an estimate on how much he'll charge to just Plane Shift the darn thing.  Armordillo's have been one of the greatest threats to crops in Texicas, they are somehow rapidly spreading to other countries despite their limited mobility.  Fortunately, they don't seem very aggressive.  Unless you have food."

Origin and Purpose Unknown
"It's strange that they have no known origin Jim.  No Wizard's Guild claims them, and they appear rather suddenly in several distinct areas all at once in the natural records we have available.."

"So y'all gonna git that thing outta mah taters soon?"
« Last Edit: March 21, 2022, 11:57:03 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2011, 08:39:43 PM »
Antbird
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 2d10 (11 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 60 ft (Good)
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-6
Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d3+1d3 acid)
Full Attack: Bite +6 melee (1d3+1d3 acid)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 9
Skills: Listen +3, Spot +4
Feats: Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm Plains, Forest, or Swamp
Organization: Solitary or flock (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (Small), 4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...git me mah bird shootin' thingy.  Them freak birds is in the corn agin."

Antbirds are an unholy mingling of ant and bird created by the same magic process that created owlbears. Unfortunately the magic was just as faulty, and the things wreak havoc when they swarm each year for mating season, eating everything in sight. It is said their creator was creatively murdered at the hands of a mob of farmers.  Which is astonishing if true.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Antbird succeeds in biting an opponent it can make a grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it does bite damage each round the hold is maintained.

Combat: Antbirds usually fly straight at their opponent, latch on, and bite until it dies, or it wounds the Antbird. If there is a swarm they attack en masse, stripping crops, livestock, and even people.


Antbird Swarm
Tiny Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 60 ft (Good)
Armor Class: 19 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6+3d6 acid)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6+3d6 acid)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Half damage from slashing and piercing, Swarm traits
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 9
Skills: Listen +8, Spot +9
Feats: Improved Initiative
Environment: Warm Plains, Forest, or Swamp
Organization: Solitary or flock (10-20)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: ---

Distraction (Ex):  Any living creature that begins its turn with a Antbird swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Combat: An Antbird Swarm surrounds and attacks any living prey it encounters.







Antbird
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at a potential Antbird infestation in the official Mutual of Gnomeahaw Palantir! jim!  Are you there Jim?  Can you hear me?"

Not Really Eusocial, As They Apparently Have No Queen
"Yes Harlan, I can hear you, as can the unholy abomination hovering inches from my face"

"I'm told they're heavily arboreal in nature Jim.  Are you close to the treeline?"

"We're in a forest Harlan.  Everything is treeline."

Make Sure Your Insurance Is Paid
"Now is probably the perfect time to remind our viewers of our sponsor, Mutual of Gnomeahaw!  Are you a heavily armed drifter the townies consider expendable when they ask you to solve their difficulties?  Do you live within 100 miles of a Wizards school?Is your Mother In Law a known Entity of Power?  Well you need Mutual of Gnomeahaw!  Mutual of Gnomeahaw has a vast storage of powdered diamond available for loan when you need brought back from the dead!  We also provide Clerical discounts!  Isn't that right Jim?"

"I'm a little more interested in Evocation spells at the moment Harlan."
« Last Edit: March 24, 2022, 12:07:35 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #26 on: November 11, 2011, 08:40:05 PM »
Archer Fish
Small Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice: 2d10 (11 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: Swim 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-5
Attack: Spit +6 Ranged (1d6/x3)
Full Attack: Spit +6 Ranged (1d6/x3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Spit
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft.
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +0
Abilities: Str 5, Dex 17, Con 11, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +2, Spot +3
Feats: Point Blank Shot
Environment: Warm Aquatic
Organization: Solitary or School (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:  ---

"Abner...git the preacher.  Thet carp done shot me!"

Magicians have always been known for trying to breed magical guardians, so it isn't surprising that one day some madman would invent a really large fish that could puke arrows. Well actually they're arrow like bits of Force, but that's precious little difference to the rural fishermen being shot by them.

Spit(Su): The Archer Fish can spit arrows of force. This is a Standard Action with a 100 ft. range, and firing it under water, or at opponents out of the water doesn't provide any penalties to the attack/damage rolls.

Skills: The Archer Fish has a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks, and can always take 10 on a swim check even if threatened or endangered. It may use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: The Archer Fish rarely initiates combat as long as nothing approaches within 10' that seems threatening. Then it burps arrows till the threat dies, or flees the area (or seems threatening enough that the fish decides to flee).




Archer Fish
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim has been sent in search of the elusive Archer Fish, a freshwater lake fish that can supposedly expectorate Force projectiles.  Have you found anything Jim?"

Wizards? I Think Not
"Yes Harlan, the locals claim the river is haunted, and we're now theorizing these fish may have evolved their Force abilities as a way of not only securing prey, but in dealing with the incorporeal."

"Are there any ghosts in the vicinity?"

"Quite a few. We're having to use magic to avoid their notice."

Some Hours Later
PEW  PEW PEW PEW

"They have us pinned down Harlan!  The ghosts may not have noticed us but the fish did!"

"What's that to your South Jim?"

"That...that is a ghost shark..."
« Last Edit: March 26, 2022, 10:43:20 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #27 on: November 11, 2011, 08:40:23 PM »
Blowfly
Fine Magical Beast (Air)
Hit Dice: 1d10 (5 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Climb 5 ft., Fly 40 ft. (Good)
Armor Class: 18 (+8 Size), touch 18, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-20
Attack: -
Full Attack: -
Space/Reach: 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Gust of Wind
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +0
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 10
Skills: Climb+3, Hide +16, Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats: Alertness
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Swarm (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 1/2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...this has to be the low point of our career..."

"Naw.  Remember when we got our asses kicked by that giant duck?

Blowflies are large black flies invented by a madman in his magical labs for purposes of amusement.  And by amusement we mean vengeful prank on the local populace who refused to accept their place as his servants.  They are generally regarded as among the most hated magical creations known today, even more reviled than the Owlbear.  Large swarms of them are rumored to produce hurricane like winds, destroying communities.  They appear to be hideous flies roughly 2 inches long.

Gust of Wind (Su): The Blowfly may cast the spell Gust of Wind as a Supernatural ability at will as a 3rd level Sorcerer.

Skills: Blowflies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

Combat: Nervous flies blast any source of irritation or fear with Gust of Wind and fly away. But the little monsters keep coming back, Just like real flies. 


Blowfly Swarm
                      Fine Magical Beast (Air)
Hit Dice:             12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                5 ft. (1 square), Climb 5 ft., Fly 40 Ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          18 (+8 Size), touch 18, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +12/-
Attack:               Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Hurricane, Distraction
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Immune to Weapon damage, Swarm traits
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +10, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 10, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 11, Cha 10
Skills:               Climb+7, Hide +16, Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats:                Alertness, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral
Advancement:          -
Level Adjustment:     ----

Hurricane (Su): The Blowfly Swarm may cast the spell Gust of Wind as a Supernatural ability at will as a 15th level Sorcerer.  It may also cast  Whirlwind 1/day as a Supernatural Ability (Caster Level is the same).

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 16 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Skills: Blowflies get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

Combat: Blowfly swarms are a tad more aggressive and smug than lone members of their kind.





Blowfly
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom we'll be taking a look at the Blowfly, also known as Calliphora ventifera.  As usual, my expendable assistant Jim will be doing the honors!"

Born To Be Annoying
"The Blowfly is the pest it was designed to be Harlan.  It's habit of lashing out with gale force wind at anything that approaches has damaged crops, buildings, and even occasionally taken some lives."

"Have you found more on their creator Jim?"

"Afraid not Harlan.  The birthplace of the Blowfly was utterly destroyed by the initial swarms.  Seems their creator didn't know how dangerous they'd be when they congregated."

Sought As An Energy Resource
"Viewers will be astonished to learn that Blowflies are now being sought after as a source of wind power, for turning mills and other sundry uses."

"By who?  Madmen?."

« Last Edit: April 09, 2022, 09:32:49 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #28 on: November 11, 2011, 08:40:44 PM »
Barbearian
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 8d10+32 (76 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, + 5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
While raging 13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural, -2 Rage), touch 8,
flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+20
Attack: Claw +15 melee (1d8+8), while raging: Claw +17 melee (1d8+10)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +15 melee (1d8+8) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+4), while raging: 2 Claws +17 melee (1d8+10) and 1 Bite +12 melee (2d6+5)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Rage 3/day
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, Damage Reduction: 1/-, Trap Sense +2, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge
Saves: Fort +10 (+12 while raging), Ref +7, Will +3 (+5 while raging)
Abilities: Str 26, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +6, Spot +7, Swim +16
Feats: Power Attack, Cleave, Intimidating Rage
Environment: Cold Forests
Organization: Solitary or Pair
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner thet there bawr is lookin' at me like I stole his salmon..."

Barbearians are very large Brown Bears with horrible tempers, and awakened intelligence. The usual requisite insane mage is to blame supposedly. God knows why he'd want surly, irritable, possibly homicidally insane servants but mages are some weird guys.  Barbearians have all the abilities of a Barbarian equal to their Hit Dice level, and can qualify for Feats etc as if they were Barbarians. Favored Class is of course Barbarian. For all intents and purposes they appear to be normal Brown Bears.  They speak Common and Sylvan.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Barbearian hits with a Claw attack it may attempt a Grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Rage (Ex):  A Barbearian can fly into a rage 3 times per day. In a rage, a Barbearian temporarily gains a +4 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, and a +2 morale bonus on Will saves, but they take a -2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase in Constitution increases the Barbearian’s hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the rage when their Constitution score drops back to normal. (These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are.) While raging, a Barbearian cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Balance, Escape Artist, and Intimidate), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can they cast spells or activate magic items that require a command word, a spell trigger (such as a wand), or spell completion (such as a scroll) to function. They can use any feat they have except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, and metamagic feats. A fit of rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Barbearian’s (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A Barbearian may prematurely end his rage. At the end of the rage, the Barbearian loses the rage modifiers and restrictions and becomes fatigued (-2 penalty to Strength, -2 penalty to Dexterity, can’t charge or run) for the duration of the current encounter.

A Barbearian can fly into a rage only once per encounter. At 1st level they can use their rage ability once per day. If they take Levels in Barbarian, their Racial Hit Dice are considered Barbarian Levels.  So a Barbearian with one Level in Barbarian has the abilities of a 9th Level Barbarian.

Uncanny Dodge (Ex):  A Barbearian retains his Dexterity bonus to AC (if any) even if they are caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, they still lose their Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized.

Trap Sense (Ex): A Barbearian gains a +2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps.

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex):  A Barbearian can no longer be flanked. This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the Barbearian by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target has Hit Dice.

Damage Reduction (Ex):  A Barbearian gains Damage Reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the Barbearian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack.

Skills: The Barbearian gains a +4 Racial Bonus on Swim checks.

Combat: Barbearians fight like most bears do, with the addition of Rage, and some intelligence.  Grappling is preferred but they'll leisurely beat you to death with their paws if they have the time.



Frenzied Bearserker (Barbearian, Frenzied Berserker 6
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 8d10+6d12+70 (153 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, + 5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
While raging 9 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural, -2 Rage, -4 Frenzy), touch 4,
flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple: +14/+27
Attack: Claw +22 melee (1d8+9), while raging: Claw +17 melee (1d8+10)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +22 melee (1d8+9) and 1 Bite +20 melee (2d6+4), while raging and frenzying: 3 Claws +27 melee (1d8+14) and 1 Bite +25 melee (2d6+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Rage 3/day, Frenzy 3/day, Supreme Cleave, Improved Power Attack, Inspire Frenzy 1/day
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Scent, Damage Reduction: 1/-, Trap Sense +2, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge, Deathless Frenzy
Saves: Fort +16 (+18 while raging), Ref +10, Will +6 (+8 while raging)
Abilities: Str 28, Dex 12, Con 20, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Intimidate +6, Listen +6, Spot +7, Swim +16
Feats: Power Attack, Cleave, Diehard (B), Instantaneous Rage, Intimidating Rage, Multiattack
Challenge Rating: 14
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Frenzied Bearserkers  are older, meaner Barbearians.  Rare conversations with them have led to the discovery that Druids, not Wizards, are responsible for them.  This has done nothing to soothe the minds of locals.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Barbearian hits with a Claw attack it may attempt a Grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Rage (Ex):  A Barbearian can fly into a rage 3 times per day. In a rage, a Barbearian temporarily gains a +4 bonus to Strength, a +4 bonus to Constitution, and a +2 morale bonus on Will saves, but they take a -2 penalty to Armor Class. The increase in Constitution increases the Barbearian’s hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the rage when their Constitution score drops back to normal. (These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are.) While raging, a Barbearian cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Balance, Escape Artist, and Intimidate), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can they cast spells or activate magic items that require a command word, a spell trigger (such as a wand), or spell completion (such as a scroll) to function. They can use any feat they have except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, and metamagic feats. A fit of rage lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Barbearian’s (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A Barbearian may prematurely end his rage. At the end of the rage, the Barbearian loses the rage modifiers and restrictions and becomes fatigued (-2 penalty to Strength, -2 penalty to Dexterity, can’t charge or run) for the duration of the current encounter.

A Barbearian can fly into a rage only once per encounter. At 1st level they can use their rage ability once per day. If they take Levels in Barbarian, their Racial Hit Dice are considered Barbarian Levels.  So a Barbearian with one Level in Barbarian has the abilities of a 9th Level Barbarian.

Frenzy (Ex): A Frenzied Bearserker can enter a frenzy during combat. While frenzied, she gains a +6 bonus to Strength and, if she makes a full attack action, gains a single extra attack each round at her highest bonus. (This latter effect is not cumulative with haste or other effects that grant additional attacks.) However, she also takes a —4 penalty to Armor Class and takes 2 points of nonlethal damage per round. A frenzy lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the Frenzied Bearserker's Constitution modifier. To end the frenzy before its duration expires, the Bearserker may attempt a DC 20 Will save once per round as a free action. Success ends the frenzy immediately; failure means it continues. The effects of frenzy stack with those from any rage ability the Bearserker may have.
The Bearserker can enter a frenzy 3 times per day (but she can't use the ability more than once in any encounter). The Bearserker can enter a frenzy as a free action. Even though this takes no time, she can do it only during her turn, not in response to another's action. In addition, if she takes damage from an attack, spell, trap, or any other source, she automatically enters a frenzy at the start of her next action, as long as she still has at least one daily usage of the ability left. To avoid entering a frenzy in response to a provoking effect, the character must make a successful Will save (DC 10 + points of damage taken since her last action) at the start of her next turn.

While frenzied, the Bearserker cannot use any Charisma-, Dexterity-, or Intelligence-based skills (except for Intimidate), the Concentration skill, or any abilities that require patience or concentration, nor can she cast spells, drink potions, activate magic items, or read scrolls. She can use any feat she has except Combat Expertise, item creation feats, or metamagic feats. She can use her special ability to inspire frenzy (see below) normally.

During a frenzy, the Frenzied Bearserker must attack those she perceives as foes to the best of her ability. Should she run out of enemies before her frenzy expires, her rampage continues. She must then attack the nearest creature (determine randomly if several potential foes are equidistant) and fight that opponent without regard to friendship, innocence, or health (the target's or her own).

When a frenzy ends, the Frenzied Bearserker is fatigued (—2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity, unable to charge or run) for the duration of the encounter. If the character is still under the effect of a rage ability, the fatigued condition does not apply until the rage ends—at which point the character is exhausted, not merely fatigued. 

Supreme Cleave: A Frenzied Bearserker can take a 5-foot step between attacks when using the Cleave or Great Cleave feat. She is still limited to one such adjustment per round, so she cannot use this ability during a round in which she has already taken a 5-foot step.

Deathless Frenzy (Ex): A Frenzied Bearserker can scorn death and unconsciousness while in a frenzy. As long as her frenzy continues, she is not treated as disabled at 0 hit points, nor is she treated as dying at —1 to —9 hit points. Even if reduced to —10 hit points or less, she continues to fight normally until her frenzy ends. At that point, the effects of her wounds apply normally if they have not been healed. This ability does not prevent death from massive damage or from spell effects such as slay living or disintegrate.

Improved Power Attack: A Frenzied Bearserker gains a +3 bonus on her melee damage rolls for every —2 penalty she takes on her melee attack rolls when using the Power Attack feat (or +3 for every —1 penalty if wielding a two-handed weapon other than a double weapon). This benefit does not stack with the normal effects of Power Attack.

Inspire Frenzy (Su): A Frenzied Bearserker can inspire frenzy in her allies while she herself is frenzied. When she uses this ability, all willing allies within 10 feet of her gain the benefits and the disadvantages of frenzy as if they had that ability themselves. The frenzy of affected allies lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the frenzied berserker's Constitution modifier, regardless of whether they remain within 10 feet of her.

Uncanny Dodge (Ex):  A Barbearian retains his Dexterity bonus to AC (if any) even if they are caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, they still lose their Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized.

Trap Sense (Ex): A Barbearian gains a +2 bonus on Reflex saves made to avoid traps and a +1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks made by traps.

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex):  A Barbearian can no longer be flanked. This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the Barbearian by flanking him, unless the attacker has at least four more rogue levels than the target has Hit Dice.

Damage Reduction (Ex):  A Barbearian gains Damage Reduction. Subtract 1 from the damage the Barbearian takes each time he is dealt damage from a weapon or a natural attack.

Skills: The Barbearian gains a +4 Racial Bonus on Swim checks.

Combat:  A Frenzied Bearserker is a Barbarian with Levels of Frenzied Berserker.  Tactics are now a distant memory for them.





Barbearian
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing a common Ursus arctos whom local Wizards have given sapience and a job."

So Not Wizards
"Actually Harlan, they were explaining that they're minions for the local Druids.."

"Is this true?"

"We consider minion a hurtful term.."

Permarage
"Our apologies good sir.  May I ask what you are employed for?."

"Being able to enter mindless fury at will when it is needed."

"How often is that?"

"Mostly when the local pirates invade.  Every other Tuesday.  Virtually any sudden movements or loud noises."

"Well that's all the time we have for today folks..."



« Last Edit: April 09, 2022, 09:17:57 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #29 on: November 11, 2011, 08:41:40 PM »
Stone Crab
Huge Magical Beast (Aquatic, Earth)
Hit Dice: 16d10+176 (264 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 27 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 27
Base Attack/Grapple: +16/+38
Attack: Pincer +24 melee (2d6+10/19-20)
Full Attack: 2 Pincers +24 melee (2d6+10/19-20)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Constrict, Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Amphibious, Scent, Damage Reduction 10/-, Immunities, Camouflage
Saves: Fort +20, Ref +9, Will +6
Abilities: Str 30, Dex 8, Con 30, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +1 (+9 in stony areas), Spot +10
Feats: Awesome Blow, Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Claw), Improved Toughness, Power Attack
Environment: Any Aquatic
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 11
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 17-32 HD (Gargantuan), 33-54 HD (Collosal)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Thaaat ain't no hill..."

Stone Crabs are immense Crabs infused with the power of the Elemental Plane of Earth by yet another psychotic mage with an axe to grind. Capable of growing to immense size, their ferocious appetites make them trouble for the local ecosystems. Their bodily makeup makes them a rich prize for anyone capable of putting one down, as they also eat many rare metals and minerals.  Stone Crabs are roughly 16' across, and weigh up to 16 tons.

Constrict (Ex): A Stone Crab does 4d6+10 with a successful Grapple check.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Stone Crab successfully hits with a Claw Attack it may attempt a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If successful it may Constrict. Stone Crabs receive a +4 Racial Bonus on Grapple Checks.

Immunities (Ex): Stone Crab are immune to Poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, Critical Hits, and all mind-affecting effects.

Camouflage (Ex): Stone Crabs appear to be made of stone, and in rough, jagged stone areas they receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks, and may use the Camouflage and Hide in Plain Sight abilities (see page 48 of the Players Handbook).

Combat: Stone Crabs are ambush predators with little more tactical sense than to Hide until something gets close, and then grab it.  They're stubborn too.  You really gotta hurt em to make one leave.  And by hurt we don't mean wound so much as tear of a limb or two.





Stone Crab
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing Brother Oswin, Priest of the local Earth God, about his astonishing coastal fauna.

Divine Creations
"What exactly are those things Brother Oswin?"

"The local villagers consider them the work of an arcane madman, but I know the truth!  It was I, Brother Oswin, who petitioned the Great God Ertu to provide us with guardians to stop raiders from pillaging our monastery.  And behold, Ertu has responded by gifting once common crabs with the power of the Earth!"

Hungry
"Why do the local villagers not like them if they were sent by your God?"

"Well, unfortunately, being so much bigger, the crabs are always hungry.  And besides raiders, they protect our coasts from virtually all living things that get close enough."

"Gentlemen, I think they've noticed us..."




« Last Edit: April 09, 2022, 09:30:46 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #30 on: November 11, 2011, 08:42:01 PM »
The Mother Of All Hummingbirds
Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 12d10+60 (126 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 240 ft. (Perfect)
Armor Class: 20 (+5 Dex, +5 Deflection), touch 20, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+12
Attack: Peck +17 melee (1d6)
Full Attack: Peck +17 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Hurricane Flight, Evasion, Improved Evasion, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +15, Will +7
Abilities: Str 11, Dex 21, Con 20, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 20
Skills: Hide +10, Knowledge (Arcana, Nature) +5, Listen +8, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8
Feats: Adroit Fly-By Attack (see Draconomicon), Fly-By Attack, Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Weapon Finesse, Wingover (B)
Environment: Any (only appears when summoned or on business)
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 13+ HD
Level Adjustment: ---

"What the hell is that humming sound?"

The Mother of All Hummingbirds is a rather large rainbow colored hummingbird that is rarely seen unless summoned magically, or seeking vengeance on those who harm her kin. Her purpose and desires are otherwise unknown. She is, however, quite destructive, though she doesn't seem to intend to cause harm. The winds stirred up by her flight can destroy small villages. But people like her cause she's so pwetty.  Darn weird them people.  Despite being almost 6 ft. long the MoaH is only 80 pounds.  While she cannot speak she does understand Common, Elven, Auran, and Sylvan.  Note that she can be summoned via Summon Nature's Ally VII, but only if one has never harmed, or allowed to come to harm, a Hummingbird.

Hurricane Flight (Ex): When flying the Mother of All Hummingbirds stirs up hurricane force winds around herself (it is impossible for her to make Hide or Move Silently Checks while flying). Anything within 10 feet of the Hummingbird is subject to a Whirlwind Spell (caster level is irrelevant as this spell has no level dependent benefits, the range is fixed, and it can only be dispelled by making the Hummingbird cease to fly). Ranged Attacks against the MoAH are impossible unless made with siege equipment (which still takes a -8 to the attack roll). Listen checks within the 10 ft. are impossible to make, and Spot checks to see inside the area are likewise impossible in dusty areas (the Hurricane Flight grants complete concealment in areas of sand, dust, loose dirt, etc.).  The MoaH's vision is unimpaired.  Hummingbirds (and other Birds of the MoaH's choice) are unaffected by this ability.

Evasion: The MoaH can avoid even magical and unusual attacks with great agility. If she makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, she instead takes no damage. When helpless, she does not gain the benefit of evasion.

Improved Evasion: This ability works like evasion, except that while the MoaH still takes no damage on a successful Reflex saving throw against attacks henceforth she takes only half damage on a failed save. If helpless, she does not gain the benefit of improved evasion.

Uncanny Dodge: The MoaH can react to danger before her senses would normally allow her to do so. She retains her Dexterity bonus to AC even if she is caught flat-footed or struck by an invisible attacker. However, she still loses her Dexterity bonus to AC if immobilized.

Improved Uncanny Dodge: The MoaH can no longer be flanked.

This defense denies a rogue the ability to sneak attack the character by flanking her, unless the attacker is at least a 16th Level Rogue.

Combat: The Mother of All Hummingbirds usually relies on Fly-By attacks and her Hurricane Flight to finish off foes. If neither of those work she simply flees.




The Mother Of All Hummingbirds
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I lie in wait for a fantastic Hummingbird, said to be the patron spirit of her species!"

Mess Not With The Hummingbirds, For Their Mom Is Vengeful
"Harlan, we've done some odd things.  But I can't believe we've trapped some small  birds in the hopes a not so small bird will come to their rescue."

"My plan is genius, and you know it."

"May I ask what our end game is here?  What are we doing if she actually shows?"

"Why, capturing her image on this Cameleon of ocurse."

A Living Storm

FWOOOOOOAAAAAAARRR

"Well that was quick."

"Please tell me got that on the Cam?"

"Of course I did, I'm a professional.  Shouldn't we be teleporting out before she turns around and comes back?"

« Last Edit: September 23, 2022, 04:24:03 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #31 on: November 11, 2011, 08:43:02 PM »
Snow Golem
Medium Construct
Hit Dice: 9d10+20 (69 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 19 (+1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
18
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+8
Attack: Slam +8 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 cold)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +8 melee (1d6+2 plus 1d6 cold)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Snowballs, Freezing Touch
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct traits. Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision, Immune to Cold, Hide in Snow, Damage Reduction 10/Magic and Bludgeoning
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 12, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: Hide +1 (+9 in snow)
Feats: -
Environment: Any Cold
Organization: Solitary or Group (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 10-18 HD (Large), 19-27 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Burt...did that snowman just move?"

Snow Golems are an unusual but cheap to make Golem in wintery areas.  All you need is plenty of snow, and they look like snowmen or snow sculptures for the most part so they can hide in plain sight as well.  Most Snow GOlems are made of roughly 150 pounds of snow.

Berserk (Ex): When a Snow Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round that it will go berserk.  Once it goes berserk it will attack the nearest creature, or smashing any object smaller than itself if none is available.  If the Golems creator is within 60 ft., it can try to regain control by making a DC 19 Charisma check.  After 1 minute of inactivity, the Golem's chances of going berserk reset to 0%.

Snowballs (Su): The Snow Golem may cast the spell Snowball Swarm (see Spell Compendium) 3 times per day as a Supernatural Ability.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice, casting ability is Wisdom. 

Freezing Touch (Su): The Snow Golem's Slam Attacks and successful Grapple checks do +1d6 Cold Damage.

Immunity to Magic: The Snow Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance, with the exception of spells that do fire or cold damage.  Fire does double damage to a Snow Golem.  Cold spells that do damage actually add to the Golem's hit points instead.  Any hit points beyond the Golem's normal maximum are temporary hp lasting 10 minutes.

Hide in Snow: The Snow Golem has the Hide in Plain Sight and Camouflage abilities (see PHB page 48) while in snowy areas.

Skills: Snow Golem's have a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide checks in snow.

Combat: Snow Golem's tend to remain still, hiding in plain sight until opponents get close enough to fight.  If they are spotted before then they open up with the snowballs.


Create Snow Golem
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 6
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 Full Round Action
Range: Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Animates 1 Snow Golem
Duration: 1 hour/level

This spell animates 1 Snow Golem for the duration of the spell.  When created you designate one "owner" who will control the Golem, and a code word which may disassemble it before the spell ends (speaking the word is a Swift Action).
Focus is 150 pounds of snow.  This Focus can only be used for 1 Golem at a time, for more Golems, you need more snow.




Snow Golem

"Welcome to Spiffy Spalls Snow Kingdom!  Our Golems are made from simple spells and snow.   Cheap and easy to make!"

"But how effective might Snow be?"

Snowman Golems

"They're excellent at blending in while in arctic conditions!"

"Yes, but are they effective?"

"And they can throw snow balls!"

"Snowballs.  A traditional military weapon.."

Hated By Everyone

"Do they still go berserk?"

"Of course sir!  We're strictly old school here at Spalls."
« Last Edit: November 30, 2022, 11:03:44 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #32 on: November 11, 2011, 08:43:20 PM »
Beer Pudding
Large Ooze
Hit Dice: 6d10+42 (76 hp)
Initiative: -3
Speed: 10 ft. (2 squares)
Armor Class: 6 (-1 Size, -3 Dex), touch 6, flat-footed
6
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+10
Attack: Slam +5 melee (2d4+2 plus 1d4 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +5 melee (2d4+2 plus 1d4 acid)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Constrict (2d4+2 plus 1d4 acid), Acid
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60 ft., Ooze traits, Dude I Smell Beer
Saves: Fort +9, Ref -1, Will -3
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 5, Con 24, Int -, Wis 1, Cha 1
Skills: Disguise +8 (beer only)
Feats: -
Environment: Underground, and Warm (except Desert)
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 7-9 HD (Large), 10-18 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Dude...dude I smell beer!"

Beer Puddings are smaller, warmer weather cousins of the Black Puddings, and smell/look like pools of stout beer.  They live underground, but emerge at night to eat vegetation (although they will take meat when they can get it), ruining grain and corn crops.  As a side effect of their digestion, the symbiotic yeast organisms in their body give off a roasted coffee smell, much like dark stout.  This smell is often the undoing of beer enthusiasts, who end up becoming the Beer Puddings next victim when they go in search of a free brew.  A Beer Pudding is around 8 ft. across, and perhaps 500 pounds.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Beer Pudding hits with it's Slam Attack it may make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Constrict.

Constrict (Ex): A Beer Pudding does Slam plus acid damage with a successful Grapple check.

Acid (Ex): The creature secretes a digestive acid that dissolves organic material, but does not affect metal or stone. Any melee hit or constrict attack deals 1d4 acid damage, and the opponent’s armor and clothing dissolve and become useless immediately unless they succeed on DC 20 Reflex saves (unless the armor is metal).  A wooden weapon that strikes a Beer Pudding also dissolves immediately unless it succeeds on a DC 20 Reflex save. The save DCs are Constitution-based.

The pudding’s acidic touch deals 21 points of damage per round to wooden or organic objects, but the ooze must remain in contact with the object for 1 full round to deal this damage.

Dude I Smell Beer! (Ex): The Pudding has a +13 Racial Bonus to Disguise checks to appear as a pool of stout, leading many creatures to attempt to drink it, allowing it a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  They will immediately realize their mistake as soon as they begins taking acid damage, but by then the pudding will have tried to nab them. 

Combat: Beer Puddings are similar to most Puddings in that they just charge anything that comes within range of their Blindsight. However. many now lie in wait since they realize some victims will simply walk up to them.



Beer Pudding
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens, and this is my soon to be inebriated assistant Jim!"

Is That Beer?

"Welcome to Dwarvenhaus!"

"Why are we at a beer hall Harlan?"

"The owners believe it's haunted Jim.  People disappear here, and strange noises are heard at night."

Avoid Vat Number 12

"Why is the beer in that vat moving?

"Oh my goodness Jim!  That's an Amoeba (pseudo) cervisiaria, better known as the Beer Pudding!"

"Screw this, I'm out."
« Last Edit: April 23, 2022, 10:31:01 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #33 on: November 11, 2011, 08:43:46 PM »
Arctic Fox
Tiny Magical Beast (Cold)
Hit Dice: 6d10+6 (39 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/-2
Attack: Bite +11 melee (1d3+1d6 cold)
Full Attack: Bite +11 melee (1d3+1d6 cold)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Arctic Weather, Cold Touch
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 16, Con 12, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 20
Skills: Hide +13, Knowledge (Geography, Local, Nature) +6, Listen +4, Move Silently +9, Spot +4, Survival +6
Feats: Alertness, Leadership, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any Cold or Temperate
Organization: Solitary plus Cohort
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 7-10 HD (Tiny)
Level Adjustment: ---

"So...your money or your crops.  Better you make with the shiny."

Arctic Foxes appear to be normal white foxes. Unfortunately the winter comes with them, meaning they are quite the nuisance for civilizations and other spurious definitions of ecosystems.  They used to use it to extort farmers, till they learned farmers are dirt poor and get taxed into oblivion.  So now they extort the communities dependent on the farmers efforts (i.e. the tax collectors).  No one has yet figured out what they need or use the money for, and if asked the foxes sarcastically reply that they eat it.  It may be true after all, as no one has ever seen what they do with it or how they transport it.  Wizards are blamed as usual for their appearance, though for once even they seem at a loss as to the foxes origins.   Arctic Foxes speak Common and Sylvan.

Arctic Weather (Su): Weather within 5 miles of an Arctic Fox undergoes a drastic change. The temperature lowers by 30 degrees, and winds increase by 20 mph. If this makes it cold enough to snow, it does so.  In effect the area in a 5 mile radius of the Arctic Fox is permanently under the effects of a Fimbulwinter spell (Caster Level 10th). 

Cold Touch (Su): Anyone touching the Arctic Fox (natural weapon, grapple, unarmed strike, etc) takes 1d6 cold damage. Anyone it successfully attacks takes 1d6 cold damage as well (or 1d6 cold per round in a grapple).

Combat: Arctic Foxes avoid combat with anything bigger than themselves (and because they know that most other beings want them dead because of the weather they cause).  In general they try to avoid combat.  They'll waylay a passerby and tell him to present their demands to the city (give me your money and I'll go away), then hightail it somewhere nearby they can hide.  Usually they have a some group of minions as hirelings in order to accept or relay messages, and collect the loot as well.

Typical Cohort: An Arctic Fox has a Leadership Score of 11, which translates to an 4th Level Cohort (usually a Druid or Barbarian), and six 1st Level followers.



Arctic Fox
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be interviewing some sort of a fox."

Snow Is My Constant Companion

"You two really aren't dressed for this."

"In our defense the last thing we remember was being in a swamp.  Is this still Alfheim?""

"Afraid so chap.  You'll pardon the winter weatherr, it always snows where I travel."

Give Me What I Want, And I'll Go Away

"Doesn't that make life difficult?"

"Only for the people who I make bribe me to leave."

"I don't suppose you know of a local teleportation circle?"




« Last Edit: April 23, 2022, 01:31:06 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #34 on: November 11, 2011, 08:44:02 PM »
Bullfrog
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 8d10+24 (68 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+17
Attack: Bite +14 melee (1d8+5) or Tongue +14 melee touch (grapple)
Full Attack: Bite +14 melee (1d8+5) or Tongue +14 melee touch (grapple)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with Tongue)
Special Attacks: Tongue Grapple, Powerful Charge
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Low Light Vision
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 4
Skills: Jump +13, Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Skill Focus: Jump, Improved Initiative
Environment: Warm Marsh, Plains, Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Herd (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Bert...Bert you hear that?  It sounded like a thousand frogs ribbited at once..."

In some sort of drunken college spree, several wizards came across the methods used to make the Owlbear, and created a bunch of bison sized frogs with horns. Then, just for giggles, when they got tired of them setting around eating giant bugs and farting all over the place they turned them loose into the wild.  Now swampdwellers everywhere can raise the vicious little halfwits as food or companions.  Bullywugs are actually said to prize them.

Tongue Grapple (Ex): The Bullfrog has an adhesive tongue that allows it to make grapple checks without the usual penalty for grappling with one extremity. It may attack with it's tongue as a melee touch attack, and is considered to be grappling it's opponent if successful.  This does not provoke an Attack of Opportunity, and if the Bullfrog wins the Grapple check it can reel a target in and begin doing bite damage each turn it maintains the Grapple.

Powerful Charge (Ex): When Bullfrogs do their initial leaping charge, they slam into opponents for 2d8+10 bludgeoning damage.

Combat: If an opponent is within range of their tongue Bullfrogs will attempt to grapple and then begin munching. Otherwise they charge, and then proceed to bite.  Either way, they have a single minded fixation on noms.



Bullfrog
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be coming to you live from the Black Marsh!"

Swamp Cattle

"What the hell are you two doing in my field?."

"Good evening sir!  We're from Mutual of Gnomeahaw, and we're hoping to interview you about your unique cattle."

"You two don't stay out of tongue range and you'll be interviewing me from inside one of them."

Ribbit Ribbit

"Don't worry good sir!  We're protected by Mutual of Gnomeahaw!"

"You'd be better off if you just tasted really bad."

"So...how is life as a Bullfrog farmer?"

"They only eat giant bugs, so that complicates things.  Speaking of which, you see that way over there?  Don't go that way."



« Last Edit: April 16, 2022, 05:53:25 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #35 on: November 11, 2011, 08:44:24 PM »
Crab Spider
Huge Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 10d10+20 (75 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (-2 Size, +3 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +10/+25
Attack: Pincer +15 melee (2d6+7)
Full Attack: 2 Pincers +15 melee (2d6+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+3 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Poison, Pincer Grab, Constrict (3d6+10)
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +10, Will +4
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 17, Con 14, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills: Climb +10, Hide -1, Jump +10, Spot +4
Feats: Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Toughness, Power Attack
Environment: Warm Forests and Mountains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 11-19 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Aw crap...the local spiders can break swords now.  Retreeeeaaatt!!"


This appears to be a huge Wolf Spider with crab pincers. Yet another in a long line of Owlbear knockoffs, it has once again brought shame to the Wizarding community.  As usual with giant, freaky, magically created monsters they got loose and bred like rabbits. Now they haunt forests everywhere and make nuisances of themselves.  Most people believe they're as dumb as any spider, but those who have encountered them swear they giggle when they disarm opponents.

Poison (Ex): Injury Fortitude DC 17, Initial and Secondary Damage 1d8 Str. Save DC is Constitution Based.

Pincer Grab (Ex): If the Crab Spider succeeds with a Pincer attack it can make either a Grapple, Sunder or Trip attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.   If it is performing a Trip and fails, it cannot be Tripped in return as normal.

Constrict (Ex): If the Crab Spider succeeds with a Grapple check it does its constriction damage each turn. It may also attempt to attack with it's Bite attack once per turn.

Combat: Crab Spiders have an unexpected cunning. Usually they will attempt to just straightforward grapple and constrict, then bite to let the poison finish off prey. If surrounded they will trip up the slower looking targets, or try Sundering weapons.




Crab Spider
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I ... will be reviewing another Owlbear knockoff?"

Why Jebus?

"Fraid so Harlan.  It's proving to be a very popular arcane technique."

"Sigh.  So what does this one do?"

Snip Snip

"Well aside from being a simply enormous toxic spider, it has crab pincers."

"Creatures based on  bad puns are always the worst."

"Also I'm told they giggle."

"What?"

"Apparently they have a sense of humor.  Also, the height of Crab Spider humor seems to be breaking things with their pincers."

"We have clearly offended someone in a former life Jim."



« Last Edit: April 23, 2022, 01:32:07 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #36 on: November 11, 2011, 08:44:43 PM »
Sage Buzzard
Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 5d10+5 (32 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), Fly 80 ft.(Good)
Armor Class: 14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+6
Attack: Talon +6 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: 2 Talons +6 melee (1d6+1) and 1 Beak +1 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: RAWK!
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft, Spell Like Abilities, Sage Knowledge, Scent
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +5
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 18, Wis 18, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff +8, Decipher Script +8, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (Arcana, Geography, History, Local, Nature) +8, Listen +8, Move Silently +2, Sense Motive +8, Spot +8, Survival +8
Feats: Fly-By Attack, Hover
Environment: Warm Desert
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: usually Neutral
Advancement: 6-10 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Will you hurry up and die?  I'd like to eat before I expire of old age."

Sage Buzzards look more like vultures than buzzards, and are renowned for their knowledge of just about damn near everything.  They're also pretty well known for lurking nearby as people and animals die, waiting to make them a free lunch despite possibly knowing how to save them.  In their defense, food is mighty hard to come by where they live.  But if you have food aplenty to bribe them with, they'll take care of you, and tell you what they know on any subject you care to hear them argue about (nothing is worse than a flock of know it all's). They speak Common, and whatever the local races speak (they have up to 4 additional languages). Their origin is unknown, but it is rumored that in a desert somewhere is the fabled Tower of Bib. Bib's tower is covered in mystical writings that bring Awareness to any animal reading them. The Sage Buzzards scoff at these rumors, and do their best to discourage people from going out in the desert to see if the Tower is real. They're even rumored to eat the stubborn ones who persist in going anyway...

RAWK! (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Buzzard can unleash an ear splitting screech. Any living creature within 60 ft. must make a DC 16 Willpower Save or be Shaken for 1d6 rounds. Save DC is Charisma Based. If the opponent Saves successfully it is immune to this Buzzard's RAWK! attack for 24 hours.

Sage Knowledge (Ex): This is identical to the Bardic Knowledge ability on page 28 of the Players Handbook, but instead of Bard levels the Sage Buzzard uses it's Hit Dice.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): The Sage Buzzard can cast the following spells as Spell Like abilities: At will: Deathwatch, Detect Magic, Detect Poison, Know Direction.  3/day: Death Knell, Delay Poison, Detect Animals or Plants, Hide from Animals, Locate Objects, Speak With Animals, Whispering Wind.  1/day: Clairvoyance, Commune With Nature, Locate Creature, Scrying. Caster level is equal to Hit Dice.

Combat: Sage Buzzards aren't great combatants. They usually use their spells to coordinate and arrange little traps for foes. They don't so much fight, as wage a campaign of harassment. Unless they know you're dying. Then it's on.




Sage Buzzard
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I will be coming to you live from the Broken Wastes, where the local Orc nobles have granted us an audience with their advisers, the Vultur sapiens, known locally as the Sage Buzzards!"

Wisdom Does Not Preclude Sarcasm

"Your naming conventions are specious human."

"Do you have a name you prefer to be called"

"Lord Vultur sapiens."

Living Libraries

"We're told you know of many things."

"We do sir.  Perhaps you would be interested in the story of your predecessor, Jim, Mad Barbarian of the North?"

"And that's all the time we have for today folks!"
« Last Edit: April 23, 2022, 10:27:56 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #37 on: November 11, 2011, 08:45:02 PM »
Bighorn Sheep
Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 3d10+9 (25 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. ( 6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Butt +5 melee (1d8+2)
Full Attack: Butt +5 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Powerful Charge
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60’
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 12, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 4
Skills: Listen +3, Spot +3
Feats: Power Attack, Improved Overrun, Reckless Charge (B)
Environment: Temperate Plains, Hills, or Mountains
Organization: Solitary or Flock (5-500)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-5 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Jed?? Can you hear me Jed?? Speak to me!"

"I knew jumpin' that sheep was a bad idea..."

These appear to be mule sized sheep with oversized horns, and bony armor reinforcing their necks and foreheads. They are infamously temperamental, and territorial to a fault. Their origin is unknown, but the local Druids always seem to need to be somewhere else when the subject is brought up.  Many attempts have been made to domesticate them and all have failed.  The locals would love access to the wool as they believe they can make a wonderful lightweight armor from it.  Despite offers of a shiny new silver piece for anyone willing to help domesticate some, the local Rangers have expressed no interest...

Powerful Charge (Ex): When charging the Bighorn Sheep's Butt attack does 2d8+4, and it can make a Bull Rush attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  You gain a +4 Bonus on the opposed Strength check.

Combat: Bighorn Sheep generally charge into the fray, then repeatedly slam their forehead into opponents until they flee or stop moving.  The rams will fight to the death while the rest of the flock escapes.





Bighorn Sheep
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be trying to wrangle a small flock of Ovis magnicornuta, better known as the Bighorn Sheep!"

You Aren't The Boss Of Me

"I'm beginning to lose my respect for Druids Harlan."

"Now Jim, lone hermits in the woods have given us many fascinating wonders to study!"

Charge!

"Would that be why I'm trying to 'herd' these things from the back of a T. Rex?"

"We needed a steed the Sheep would respect."
« Last Edit: April 23, 2022, 10:26:56 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #38 on: November 11, 2011, 08:45:34 PM »
Edible Golem
Medium Consruct
Hit Dice: 3d10+20 (36 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 30 ft (6 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (+10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+8
Attack: Slam +4 melee (1d8+2)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 5ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+4)
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision, Mindless
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +1, Will +1
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: -----

”We wuz out foragin’ when we came up on this Halfling encampment.  Lil’ squatty bastards left their chuckwagon unguarded, and me an’ Chuck we thinks “Well sir…guess that foods ours now”.  Then this thing made out of cabbage beats Chuck like a ragdoll, and some sort of cheese monkey choked me into unconsciousness.  Damn I hate them Halflings...”


Halflings are known for their prowess with cuisine, but not so much so for their abilities as a military force.  Particularly hard hit are the cooks and guards for the food stores.  Bigger races tend to run them over to get the Halflings prized vittles.  And consequently this makes the Halflings pretty ticked off. 

After several years of this, some enterprising Halfling Wizard made the first Edible Golem.  Edible Golems can be composed of any hard foodstuff (cheese, jerked and smoked meats, vegetables, mushrooms), and are basically a 6 foot high figure composed of the aforementioned edibles.  Created to guard the food stores, a code word chosen at creation (and given to the Golems “owner”) will immediately disassemble the Golem into its component parts.  As long as the food is part of the Golem it never spoils, and it can even move and defend itself thus freeing up guards for other purposes. 

This makes them ideal Golems as they can be eaten, are cheap to make, and don’t go Berserk.  They are a staple of many armies now in tribute to the Halflings success with using them.


Improved Grab (Ex): If the Golem successfully hits with it’s Slam Attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may then Constrict.  Edible Golems get a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.  Unlike normal this ability may be used on creatures the same size class as the Golem.

Constrict (Ex): An Edible Golem does 2d8+4 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): An Edible Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance, with one exception.  If Purify Food and Drink is cast on the Golem it heals 1d6 hit points of damage. 

Combat: Edible Golems aren’t very tactical combatants being mindless and all.  They generally just waltz up to whatever enemy is closest, initiate a Grapple, and squeeze till dead.  Rinse, repeat.  It’s effective though.  Many is the opposing military man who has suffered the dismay of being beaten down by a cheese Golem.


Construction: An Edible Golem is made from 300 pounds of some sort of foodstuffs (average cost around 120 GP).  Unlike normal Golems, Edibles aren't constructed, they are temporarily animated by means of the right spell.


Create Edible Golem
Transmutation
Level: Sor/Wiz 4, Food 4
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 Full Round Action
Range: Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Animates 1 Edible Golem
Duration: 1 hour/level

This spell animates 1 Edible Golem for the duration of the spell.  When created you designate one "owner" who will control the Golem, and a code word which may disassemble it before the spell ends (speaking the word is a Swift Action).
Focus is 300 pounds of some sort of food.  This Focus can only be used for 1 Golem at a time, for more Golems, you need more food.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Arcane) can learn a little about the Edible Golem. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DCs:

DC|Lore
10|The Halflings sometimes have Constructs guarding their food.
15|The Constructs guarding the Halflings food stores ARE food.
20|The magic making Edible Golems is cheap, but fairly short in duration and must be renewed regularly.
25|If you can get the Golem's "owner" to spit out the right word, the Golems will disassemble into harmless victuals.



Plot Hook
  • The Edible Golems your base has been relying upon to guard the food (i.e. themselves for the most part) have somehow been awakened by an unknown enemy, and they no longer disassemble when the code word is given.  Somehow you must discover what is going on, keep the base in food in the meantime, and manage to imprison the Golems long enough to do the first two tasks.
  • Every night someone near a local restaurant dies.  Every morning the restaurateur find blood on his cabbages.  He has told no one of this, and has hired the PC's to find out what is going on before the authorities do.  One night they notice a strange figure leave the restaurant with what looks like a very deformed man under a greatcoat and heavy clothing.  The deformed man does not speak or respond to anyone but his partner.  And he simply stinks of garlic and cabbage...
  • Yesterday was the best day of your groups life.  You defeated bad guys, got a good haul, and had a blast with the local tavern wenches.  In the morning however you find out the tavern wenches who were sleeping downstairs are all beaten up, the food is gone, your money is stolen, and everyone who was there claims that cheese people robbed the place while you were all passed out drunk.  You're having a bit of a hard time accepting their explanation, but the place does seem Limburgery today...
  • Local Halfling Wizard King Codpuncher (that doesn't sound megalomaniacal in any way...) has hired the PC's to test out his security.  In reality he's bored and wants to see someone beaten up by the various food based Golems running around his trapped underground mansion.  Darn sneaky them Halflings.



Edible Golem

"Welcome to Hell's Kitchen!"

"Is that a cabbage golem?"

Ever Been Beaten By A Turnip?

"Yes.  Our team uses spells to allow the food stores to defend themselves."

"Please tell me they don't go berserk."

"No but there is a statistically insignificant chance that they spontaneously achieve sentient awareness."

"Is that good or bad?"

Random Sentience Achieved

"As a general rule, spontaneous awareness is bad."

"Plus, they do know you consider them food..."
« Last Edit: November 27, 2022, 04:28:15 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #39 on: November 11, 2011, 08:46:25 PM »
Funk Ape
Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4d10+8 (30 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural. +2 Deflection), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+6
Attack: Slam +6 melee (1d4+2)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +6 melee (1d4+2) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Funk, Blur
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Darkvision 60 ft., Immunities
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills: Climb +10, Listen +8, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Ability Focus (Funk)
Environment: Warm Forest
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 5-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---


" Ooohmigod...what is that?  It smells like mindflayer poop and burning rubber...avenge me...sputter...cough..."

Funk Apes are the result of experiments by Prak the Mad. Prak had set up shop in what was eventually to become known as Bad Critter Forest, and begun experimenting on the life there, turning most of the local animals into Magical Beasts in the process. This has to be one of his less welcome creations.  The Funk Ape appears to be a large baboon that smells bad. Really bad. So bad in fact that even the dead are repulsed. The miasma surrounding the Funk Ape even causes the atmosphere to shimmer and distort, as if the very air wanted to be elsewhere.

Funk (Su): The Funk Ape smells bad. Any creature within 60 ft. of it that can smell is in trouble. Even if it can't smell something seems to bother it. Once inside this area all living creatures with a sense of smell must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or fall unconscious for 1 round, be Nauseated for 1d6 rounds after awakening, and then Sickened for 1d6 hours more. As long as the creature remains within 60 ft. of the Funk Ape it will have to make Saves to avoid unconsciousness each round. Creatures that aren't living or that have no sense of smell (or that are incorporeal) must also make a DC 16 Fortitude Save, or be Sickened as long as they are within 60 ft. of the Funk Ape.

Blur (Su): Due to the air around it boiling, the Funk Ape permanently has it's own personal Blur spell (as well as a +2 Deflection Bonus to AC).

Immunities (Ex): Funk Apes are immune to disease (it's killed off by their Funk), inhaled gases or poisons (which can't get through the Funk), and any attack relying on their sense of smell (of which they have none, due to the Funk).

Skills: Funk Apes get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and can always take 10 on climb checks even if rushed or threatened.

Combat: Funk Apes are only mildly aggressive and usually sit in trees and fling poo at intruders. Occasionally they'll get riled up and charge if scared or angry. After that they just continuously whack their opponent till he falls, or they run away if hurt too bad.  Most opponents simply black out or puke near them, which is an endless supply of entertainment for the ape.



Funk Ape
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be trying to verify the existence of the legendary Funk Ape!

Smells Worse Than a Dead Beholder Frying In The Sun

"Can I state for the record how much I hate Florida."

"Is that Prak?"

Of Course It's Prak

"Yes...and the ape thing he's with smells so bad I can taste it through the forcewall."

"Guess we can cross this one off the cryptid list."
« Last Edit: November 06, 2022, 05:41:52 PM by bhu »