Author Topic: Jesters Realm Critters  (Read 64368 times)

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #80 on: November 11, 2011, 09:43:35 PM »
Rosebush Dryad
                      Medium Fey
Hit Dice:             4d6 (14 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (+5 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+2
Attack:            Dagger +8 melee (1d4)
Full Attack:          Dagger +8 melee (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell-Like Abilities, Luv Advice
Special Qualities:    DR 5/Cold Iron, Bush Dependent, Wild Empathy
Saves:                Fort +1, Ref +9, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 20
Skills:               Bluff +10, Diplomacy +10, Gather Information +10, Heal +8, Hide +10, Knowledge (Nature) +7, Listen +7, Move Silently +10, Sense Motive +7, Spot +7, Survival +7, Use Magic Device +11
Feats:                Ability Focus (Luv Advice), Weapon Focus (Dagger)
Environment:          Any Warm or Temperate (except Aquatic and Desert)
Organization:         Solitary or Garden (5-10)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Good
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Madam I don't want or need marital advice, I need directions."

Rosebush Dryads are greenish Dryads with red rose petals for hair.  They tend to be somewhat snarky, and specialize in giving mischievous love advice to people who should know better than to listen to them.  They also tend to hoard shiny things like jewelry and gold if they can get their hands on them.  Accent on the word if.  Most people don't trust their personal shinies near the local Dryads.  Or their sons and daughters for that matter.  Rosebush Dryads speak Common, Elven, and Sylvan.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will: Briarweb, Camouflage, Thornskin.  3/day: Charm Person (DC 16), Mind Fog (DC 20), Speak With Plants.  1/day: Hold Person (DC 18).  Caster Level 6. 

Luv Advice (Su):  If the Rosebush Dryad can con it's opponent into discussing their love life, she can give out Luv Advice as a Full Round Action.  This effect is identical to the Suggestion spell but the Rosebush Dryad can only use it to give suggestions on an opponents romantic life.  She can however use it to give suggestions that aren't entirely reasonable ("Women love it when you  lather them in butter.  Yup yup.").  She still can't suggest anything immediately harmful or suicidal ("Women love it when you run up to the King and stab him with a spear.").  DC 19 Willpower Save negates.

Bush Dependent (Su): This works exactly like the Dryad ability on page 90 of the MM, except the Rosebush Dryad is tied to a large rosebush.

Wild Empathy (Ex): This works like the Druid's Class Ability of the same name except the Dryad has a +6 Racial Bonus on the Check.

Combat: Rosebush Dryads are lovers, not fighters.  If their spell-like abilities don't suffice they generally try seducing their would-be opponent, or chatting with him until they can manipulate the conversation into talking about his love life which is generally when they tend to be their most dangerous.



Rosebush Dryad
"It's possible I dislike Dryads even more now."

Questionable Advice

"Greetings madam, might you have the Left Butt Cheek of Vecna?"

"You aren't here for romantic advice?"

"I require advice from no one."

"How about you handsome?"

"Ma'am, were being pursued by a cult..."

Keep An Eye On Your Shinies

"Which cult?"

"They probably have a few witches, yes."

"Bees."

"I handed it off to the Durian Dryads last week.  Good luck."
« Last Edit: June 24, 2023, 10:13:17 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #81 on: November 11, 2011, 10:06:57 PM »
Beer Lurker
                      Fine Vermin (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             1/4d8 (1 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                5 ft. (1 square), Swim 5 ft.
Armor Class:          20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-21
Attack:               -
Full Attack:          -
Space/Reach:          1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Parasite
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60', Vermin Traits, Camouflage, Blindsense
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +2, Will +0
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 14, Con 10, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills:               Hide +18, Move Silently +2, Swim +3
Feats:                -
Environment:          Warm Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:    ?
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

It's become a damn sad day when a man has to check his beer for worms Bert.  Damn sad."

It's assumed Beer Lurkers are yet another project by an insane Wizard, as their evolving naturally just seems too darned unlikely.  Beer Lurkers appear as blind, squat worms a few inches long with a mouth full of teeth and 2 small fins they use for swimming and pulling themselves along midway through their body.  They can only reproduce inside a host, and cannot survive long outside of water/liquid.  If not inside a host they must find an aquatic environment quickly or perish. 

Which brings us to beer.  Beer Lurkers are usually the exact same color as the local beer of choice, making it difficult to believe they occurred naturally.  If anyone has any idea as to the origins of this critter please contact the Guild of Suffocating Vengeance.  We eagerly await your news.

Parasite (Ex): Each day the Beer Lurker spends inside a host it does 1 point of temporary Constitution damage.  Symptoms include feeling ill the first day, and then passing blood the next.  Anyone with Knowledge (Nature) or Healing can make a DC 20 Check to determine the cause of the problem, and it takes a DC 25 roll to remove the parasite via surgery without also harming the patient (2d6 damage per failed roll).  Spells that cure or remove parasites/disease will also cure the individual, but the Lurker does 1d10 damage in it's death throes.  Miracle or Wish removes it with no problem.  Should the host die, the Lurker must find an appropriate host or an aquatic environment within 1d4 hours or perish.  It's not truly amphibious, but it can live that long without water (whether or not it breathes is unknown).  Since the Lurker is willing to kill it's host after reproducing, it is not truly a parasite but a parasitoid, and given it's short lifespan without a host (and it's abilities to camouflage itself in drinks) most assume it's an artificially created life form used for assassinations or spreading terror in communities.

Camouflage (Ex): Beer Lurkers have a +8 Circumstance Bonus to Hide checks inside Beer, muddy water, or similarly colored liquids.  Anyone drinking a Beer inhabited by a Beer Lurker must make an Opposed Spot vs Hide check or accidentally drink it (at which point bad times are comin').  Once drunk the Lurker parasitizes it's host (see above).

Blindsense (Ex): While in water (or other liquid) the Beer Lurker can sense all other beings within 10 ft.  It may only use this ability when submerged in liquid.

Skills: Beer Lurkers get a +8 Racial Bonus to all Swim Checks, and can Always Take 10 on a Swim check.  They can use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Beer Lurkers are not combatants.  If they aren't swallowed they pretty much leave the party alone.  Otherwise they are content to simply live in their gut for a long while.  At 1 point of Con damage per day, they will never cause their victim to really die, unless something else does Con damage, or until the Lurker spawns.  Being able to reproduce by parthenogenesis the Lurker needs no mate, and after absorbing 10 points of Con it can lay eggs within it's host, which take 2d4 days to hatch. The spawn leave the host after 1d4 days, but in the process they do an additional point of Constitution damage each day until they leave.

« Last Edit: October 17, 2014, 06:53:52 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #82 on: November 11, 2011, 10:07:17 PM »
Combustible Chicken
                      Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             1d10+3 (8 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 20 ft. (Poor)
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-11
Attack:               Peck +6 melee (1 point)
Full Attack:          Peck +6 melee (1 point) and 2 Claws +1 melee (1 point)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Combustion
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Balance +4, Jump +5, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Plains
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (6-20)
Challenge Rating:    1/2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Birds again...Bert you know birds hate me.  Why do you take these assignments?"

"Cuz we need the money to get that curse of yours removed.  Now put that pipe out.  We can't let them see it."

"Why, will the chickens fine me for smoking?"

"Dammit Abner put that thing out before..."

BOOM!

"Bert...I feel I have been denied critical, need to know information..."

Obviously created by an insane mage of some kind, Combustible Chickens appear as ordinary farm fowl, albeit maybe a little meaner and a little tougher.  Combustible Chickens are very attracted to heat however, and flock towards it like moths to a flame.  Unlike moths, they explode if they catch fire. 

This, of course, has to be a feature that isn't commonly found in evolution, so Wizards are blamed (who else is there to blame really?).  It's perfect for assassinating farmers as the chickens keep their combustibility after death.  God knows why you'd want to kill farmers this way as it's rather dramatic and obvious, and kind of a lot to go through for a farmer you could just as easily Fireball.  Of course if you're insane, you can just slaughter a few, sell them for cooking chickens, set back and watch the fun.  If the world ever evolves a few psychiatrists one assumes they'd have a field day with Wizards...

Combustion (Ex): Combustible Chickens seeing an open flame must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or immediately run towards it in effort to 'be one with the fire'.  If the Save is Successful the Chicken doesn't need to make another one for 2d4 rounds.  When a Combustible Chicken takes 1 point or more of Fire or Electrical damage, it explodes doing 3d6 Fire damage in a 10 ft. Radius (DC 13 Reflex Save for half damage).  Should the ambient air temperature reach 100+ degrees Fahrenheit, the Chicken must make a DC 15 Fortitude Save or explode (+1 to Save DC for every 10 degrees above 100) every hour the temperature remains that high.

Flight (Ex): A chicken can fly for a maximum of (3 plus Con Modifier) rounds before it must rest for at least 1 minute (and by rest we mean 'not fly').  They can always use their wings to slow their fall though, so as long as the fall is 20 ft. or less they have no worries of taking damage.  If it's longer they subtract 20 ft. from the fall for purposes of how much damage they take.

Skills: A Chickens wings give it a +8 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.

Combat: Combustible Chickens prefer not to fight at all.  They're only really a danger around fire and electricity.  So hiding in the Chicken coop during the lightning storm...not such a good idea.



Combustible Chicken
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be in north Florida, covering a story  on spontaneously combusting chickens."

Beloved By Adventurers Everywhere

"Why do we do this Harlan?"

"Ratings?"

"Whut the hail you two weirdos doin' on my propity?"

"We hear your chickens are exploding?"

"Yup.  Designed that way.  Murderhobos pay a lot fer 'em."

Deadly By Design

"You mean adventurers..."

"I said what I said.  They like to turn flocks of 'em loose in dungeons what use fire traps."

"Guess we can cross this one off the cryptid list too."
« Last Edit: November 10, 2022, 12:54:11 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #83 on: November 11, 2011, 10:07:55 PM »
Ram
                      Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             9d10+27 (76 hp)
Initiative:           +6
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (+2 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +9/+12
Attack:               Head Butt +12 melee (2d4+4)
Full Attack:          Head Butt +12 melee (2d4+4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Ram
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Burst of Speed
Saves:                Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 5, Wis 15, Cha 10
Skills:               Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats:                Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Initiative, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge
Environment:          Temperate Hills
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (6-20)
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          10-18 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Whats wrong Bert?  It's just sheep."

"Abner...the time has come to tell you why I don't like sheep.  Just as soon as we climb that tree."

Rams are magically enhanced domestic sheep.  They were meant to look like harmless sheep on purpose.  In reality they have incredibly powerful legs that can propel them at tremendous speeds.  They are also stubborn, easily excited, and virtually untrainable.  Worthless as livestock, as they are too hard to control, they make good guards if you can buy their loyalty.  Exactly why they were made is anyone's guess, as it's assumed the territorial little monsters killed their creator not long after being made.  They do make the lives of local farmers more interesting though.

Ram (Ex): The Ram adds an additional 1d4 damage to it's head butt attack for every 10 ft. it moves while attacking during a charge (maximum of +10d4). 

Burst of Speed (Ex): The Ram can increase it's land speed to 100 ft every 1d4 rounds, but only if it moves in a straight line.

Combat: Rams open with a charge before running away.  So they can charge again.  They love whacking people with their head from long distances.  They especially love ramming into unaware people.



Ram
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will...wait this looks familiar, didn't we do these already?"

Never Turn Your Back

"No sir.  Those were Bighorn Sheep, these are Rams.  Entirely different creators.  Allegedly."

"Now that you mention it, they aren't as big."

"They're just as vicious though.  Maybe even more so."


High Speed Terrors

"How are they special Jim?"

"Apparently their heads are nigh well invulnerable, and they are stupefyingly fast.  Bad combination."

« Last Edit: May 01, 2022, 07:07:08 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #84 on: November 11, 2011, 10:08:15 PM »
Bore
                      Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             13d10+39 (110 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (+8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+15
Attack:               Gore +15 melee (1d8+3)
Full Attack:          Gore +15 melee (1d8+3)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Aura of Boredom
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +8, Will +8
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 5, Wis 15, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats:                Ability Focus (Aura of Boredom), Alertness, Diehard, Endurance, Iron Will
Environment:         Temperate Forests
Organization:         Solitary or Herd (5-8)
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          14-20 HD (Medium), 21-26 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Y'know Bert we should prolly shoot that pig down there."

"Ayuh."

"Somehow I just don't feel like it though."

"Ayuh."

"Good thing he ain't goin' anywhere."


Bores appear as domesticated hogs wearing a facial expression of terminal apathy.  Terminal for you anyway.  If you're within range of their Aura, there's bad times a'comin' for you, as they aren't picky about what they eat, and their Aura is how they supplement their diet in lean times as they simply wander over and begin to eat apathetic victims.  Thnkfully communities make sure to  kee them fed.

No appreciable explanation has been given for their existence, but it is notable that many farmers with serious magical abilities use them as 'pets' (i.e. evil minions).  Not that there are many farming Wizards...

Aura of Boredom (Su): Anything within 60' of the Bore must make a DC 19 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or begin to suffer from terminal boredom (opponents who Save successfully are immune to this Bores Aura for 24 hours).  Anyone failing the Save must make another Willpower Save (same DC, +1 cumulative for each round within range of the Bores Aura) to perform any Full Round or Standard Action, or anything requiring a Concentration check.  It must also Save if it wishes to use any class abilities based on emotions (for example Rage, Frenzy, or Wild Surge).  Crushing apathy also causes victims to lose their Dexterity Bonus to Armor Class as long as they're under the effect of this ability.  The effects of the Aura last as long as the Bore is within range.  This is a Mind-Affecting Compulsion.

Combat:  Bores tend to flee if opponents prove unaffected by their Aura unless they're fairly hungry.  If victims are affected however they just kind of wander over trying to appear curious, and then begin devouring their unsuspecting prey.



Bore
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be testing his will against Sus taediosus, also known as the Bore."

What Does It Even Matter

"..."

"Jim?  Jim, are you in there?"

"What are we even doing here Harlan?"


Swirling Vortexes of Hunger

"Jim...maybe you'd better move Jim..."

"Moving is pointless.  If I start too move, I'll just have to keep moving."

"Can we get some help for Jim?"
« Last Edit: May 05, 2022, 01:19:19 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #85 on: November 11, 2011, 10:08:36 PM »
as puns go this one is prolly obscure

Ghost Frog
                      Diminutive Undead (Incorporeal)
Hit Dice:             1d12 (6 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                Fly 10 ft. (2 squares), Perfect
Armor Class:          17 (+4 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Deflection), touch 17, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-
Attack:               Nervously hesitant touch +6 melee touch (1d4 negative energy damage)
Full Attack:          Nervously hesitant touch +6 melee touch (1d4 negative energy damage)
Space/Reach:          1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Corrupting Touch, Abnormally Loud Ribbit
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Undead traits, Incorporeal traits, Manifestation, Rejuvenation, Sense Living 60 ft.
Saves:                Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities:            Str -, Dex 14, Con -, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Hide +22, Listen +4, Move Silently +10, Search +2, Spot +10                                                                               
Feats:                Ability Focus (Abnormally Loud Ribbit), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Warm Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          2 HD (Tiny)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...does that frawg look a little...unusual to you?"

"That's cause hes daid Abner."

Ghost Frogs haunt jungle rivers, hiding in the shallows and scaring the crap out of people by ribbiting suddenly in an abnormally loud voice.  No ones quite sure how they come about, and assume some sort of weird curse or an easily pissed off Gawd are responsible.  Oddly enough for once no one is blaming a Wizard.

Corrupting Touch (Su): The Ghost Frogs nervously hesitant touch attack does 1d4 negative energy damage.

Abnormally Loud Ribbit (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds or so, the Ghost Frog will Ribbit.  Unless it senses the living approaching, when it will remain quiet until they are close by before letting rip.  Any creature within 10' of the Ghost Frog as it Ribbits must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Panicked for 1 round, and Shaken for 1 round more.

Manifestation (Su):  Every ghost has this ability. A ghost dwells on the Ethereal Plane and, as an ethereal creature, it cannot affect or be affected by anything in the material world. When a ghost manifests, it partly enters the Material Plane and becomes visible but incorporeal on the Material Plane. A manifested ghost can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or spells, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. A manifested ghost can pass through solid objects at will, and its own attacks pass through armor. A manifested ghost always moves silently. A manifested ghost can strike with its touch attack or with a ghost touch weapon (see Ghostly Equipment, below). A manifested ghost remains partially on the Ethereal Plane, where is it not incorporeal. A manifested ghost can be attacked by opponents on either the Material Plane or the Ethereal Plane. The ghost’s incorporeality helps protect it from foes on the Material Plane, but not from foes on the Ethereal Plane.

When a spellcasting ghost is not manifested and is on the Ethereal Plane, its spells cannot affect targets on the Material Plane, but they work normally against ethereal targets. When a spellcasting ghost manifests, its spells continue to affect ethereal targets and can affect targets on the Material Plane normally unless the spells rely on touch. A manifested ghost’s touch spells don’t work on nonethereal targets.

A ghost has two home planes, the Material Plane and the Ethereal Plane. It is not considered extraplanar when on either of these planes.

Rejuvenation (Su): In most cases, it’s difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: The "destroyed" spirit will often restore itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. A ghost that would otherwise be destroyed returns to its old haunts with a successful level check (1d20 + ghost’s HD) against DC 16. As a rule, the only way to get rid of a ghost for sure is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace. The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research.

Sense Living (Su): Identical to the Blindsight Ability, but only senses living creatures.

Skills: +8 Racial Bonus to Hide, Move Silently, and Spot checks.

Combat: Ghost Frogs rarely realize they're dead, and so rarely attack the living by any means other than accident.  Their abnormally loud ribbits usually scare people badly enough that they get attacked, at which time something inside them snaps and they feel compelled to defend themselves.  They also noticeably dislike Clerics, staying well back out of their range if possible, then sneaking up when the priest is asleep to ribbit next to his head.


                     Ghost Frog Swarm
                      Diminutive Undead (Incorporeal, Swarm)
Hit Dice:             12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative:           +6
Speed:                Fly 10 ft. (2 squares), Perfect
Armor Class:          17 (+4 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Deflection), touch 17, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/-
Attack:               Swarm (3d6 negative energy damage)
Full Attack:          Swarm (3d6 negative energy damage)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Corrupting Touch, Abnormally Loud Ribbit, Distraction
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Undead traits, Incorporeal traits, Swarm traits, Manifestation, Rejuvenation, Sense Living 60 ft., Immune to Weapon Damage, +2 Turn Resistance
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +8, Will +11
Abilities:            Str -, Dex 14, Con -, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills:               Hide +22, Listen +13, Move Silently +13, Search +12, Spot +14
Feats:                Ability Focus (Abnormally Loud Ribbit), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Lightning Reflexes
Environment:          Warm Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, fright (2-4 swarms), or terror (5-8 swarms)
Challenge Rating:    8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral Evil
Advancement:          None
Level Adjustment:     ---


Corrupting Touch (Su): The Ghost Frogs swarm attack does 3d6 negative energy damage.

Abnormally Loud Ribbit (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds or so, the Ghost Frogs will Ribbit.  Unless they sense the living approaching, when they will remain quiet until the targets are close by before letting rip.  Any creature within 20 feet of the Ghost Frog Swarm as it Ribbits must make a DC 18 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Panicked for 1 round, and Shaken for 1 round more.

Manifestation (Su):  Every ghost has this ability. A ghost dwells on the Ethereal Plane and, as an ethereal creature, it cannot affect or be affected by anything in the material world. When a ghost manifests, it partly enters the Material Plane and becomes visible but incorporeal on the Material Plane. A manifested ghost can be harmed only by other incorporeal creatures, magic weapons, or spells, with a 50% chance to ignore any damage from a corporeal source. A manifested ghost can pass through solid objects at will, and its own attacks pass through armor. A manifested ghost always moves silently. A manifested ghost can strike with its touch attack or with a ghost touch weapon (see Ghostly Equipment, below). A manifested ghost remains partially on the Ethereal Plane, where is it not incorporeal. A manifested ghost can be attacked by opponents on either the Material Plane or the Ethereal Plane. The ghost’s incorporeality helps protect it from foes on the Material Plane, but not from foes on the Ethereal Plane.

When a spellcasting ghost is not manifested and is on the Ethereal Plane, its spells cannot affect targets on the Material Plane, but they work normally against ethereal targets. When a spellcasting ghost manifests, its spells continue to affect ethereal targets and can affect targets on the Material Plane normally unless the spells rely on touch. A manifested ghost’s touch spells don’t work on nonethereal targets.

A ghost has two home planes, the Material Plane and the Ethereal Plane. It is not considered extraplanar when on either of these planes.

Rejuvenation (Su): In most cases, it’s difficult to destroy a ghost through simple combat: The "destroyed" spirit will often restore itself in 2d4 days. Even the most powerful spells are usually only temporary solutions. A ghost that would otherwise be destroyed returns to its old haunts with a successful level check (1d20 + ghost’s HD) against DC 16. As a rule, the only way to get rid of a ghost for sure is to determine the reason for its existence and set right whatever prevents it from resting in peace. The exact means varies with each spirit and may require a good deal of research.

Sense Living (Su): Identical to the Blindsight Ability, but only senses living creatures.

Skills: +8 Racial Bonus to Hide, Move Silently, and Spot checks.

Combat: Swarms behave much like lone Ghost Frogs, but they're a little more frisky due to greater numbers.






Ghost Frog
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be examining the strange case of the Heleophryne depressa, aka  the Ghost Frog."

Dead Frogs?

"Greetings from the festering Hellscape that is Florida!  I'm standing next to Itchy Butt Pond, looking at what are apparently dead frogs who are regarding me with nervous intent"

"Can you try speaking to them?"

"The item lets me speak to Beasts, not the Undead."


Prankish Amhibians

"Have they displayed any unusual abilities?"

"Well, they like scaring people."

"Don't all ghosts like scaring people?"

"They also appear capable of reproducing."

"What?"

"The local ghosts study them, in hopes of one day having children of their own."

"What?"
« Last Edit: May 05, 2022, 01:29:57 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #86 on: November 11, 2011, 10:09:35 PM »
Troll Boar
                      Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             1d10+2 (7 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/-1
Attack:               Gore +6 melee (1d6)
Full Attack:          Gore +6 melee (1d6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Ferocity
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Regeneration 3, Scent, Fearless
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 17, Con 15, Int 4, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +2, Search +2, Spot +2, Survival +6
Feats:                Endurance, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Any except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...didn't we eat thet pig yesterday?"
 
The village of La Mole needed a food source desperately for themselves and their poor truffle hunting pot bellied piggies.  Truffles brought in some nice money, but the other village crops were getting worse each year.   In desperation they turned to Prak the Mad.  A psychotic mage with a thing for interspecies cross breeding.  In other words, another in a long line of kooks who thought critters like the Owlbear were 'just spiffy'.

Mixing the Pot Bellied Pigs with Troll genetic material, he created a new form of black miniature pig that regenerated after being eaten.  Of course constantly being killed day after day for food has made the piggies a little...omnicidal... 

Ferocity (Ex): Troll Boars can fight and act normally from -1 to -9 hp.

Regeneration (Ex):  Troll Boar Regeneration doesn't work against Fire or Acid damage.  If a body part is severed it regrows within 3d6 minutes, or reattaches immediately if pressed against the stump.

Fearless (Ex): Troll Boars are immune to Fear and Morale Effects.

Skills: Troll Boars have a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Survival Checks.

Combat: Troll Boars usually squeal like, well...a pig, before rushing the opponent and messily devouring his toes.  They have little to no fear being as they know they'll just heal back.



Troll Boar
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be interviewing one of the few surviving members of the La Mole holocaust."

Magic Gone Wrong

"Greetings sir or madam!  Can you tell us what happened here?"

"Damn fool wizards."

"Looks like I owe you a gold piece Jim."

"Can you be more specific?"


A Town In Need

"We wuz runnin' out of food, so we asked this guy, Prak the Mad he was called..."

"Oh boy..."

"So he makes the piggies regenerate so's we can eat them again and again.  And the piggies don't like this, nosiree...."

"Let me guess.  They massacred the town?"

"Well hell son, why did you ask if you already knew the story?"

"We didn't know the story, but we do know Prak..."
« Last Edit: May 29, 2022, 01:22:10 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #87 on: November 11, 2011, 10:09:58 PM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theridion_grallator

Smiley Faced Spider
                      Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             4d10+8 (30 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+4
Attack:               Bite +7 melee (1d6 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Bite +7 melee (1d6 plus poison)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Mind Shield
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 11, Dex 17, Con 15, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Climb +8, Hide +7, Jump +8, Knowledge (Nature) +5, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Search +3, Spot +7, Survival +7
Feats:                Ability Focus (Poison), Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          5-8 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Abner...that just ain't right."

"Ah never liked mages."

Smiley Faced Spiders are definitely magically engineered.  The bizarre nature of their appearance and abilities leaves little other option.  The identity of their original creator is unknown, but they are qute prolific in a jungle that was temporarily the home of Prak the Mad...  Smiley Faced Spiders are large, lime green spiders with markings on their abdomen that resemble a happy face.  They appear to have ther own language.

Poison (Su): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 16, Initial Damage is identical to the effects of a Tasha's Hideous Laughter spell (Caster Level is equal to the spiders HD), Secondary Damage is 1d6 Wisdom.

Mind Shield (Ex): The Smiley Face Spider permanently has the benefits of a Mind Blank spell (Caster Level equals HD).

Skills: Spiders have a +4 racial bonus on Hide and Spot checks and a +8 racial bonus on Climb checks. A Spider can always choose to take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened. Spiders use either their Strength or Dexterity modifier for Climb checks, whichever is higher.  They also have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump Checks.

Combat: Smiley Face Spiders try to bite victims as quickly as possible to immobilize them so they can begin eating them alive.



Smiley Faced Spider

"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens! Today on Wild Kingdom, Jim and I will be looking at the Smiley Faced Spider!"

"Other than markings, how are these different from any other Giant Spider?"

"I'm told they have a language Jim.  And some very unusual venom."

"Do you have a Tongues spell on  you?  Here come two of them now."

"I got us both potions just in case."

Prefer To Make Their Prey Die Laughing

"Well let's chug these and get it over with."

"They appear to be motioning us to drop the forcewall."

"Hey.  Hey there critters."

"pspspspspspspsps"

"We have cookies!'

"I think we should go Harlan..."


Tricksy

"We almost got 'em Sam."

"I dunno...the tall one seems like a Ranger...and his tone is sarcastic yet understanding...

"Smile, and look friendly!"

"That was creepy...."

« Last Edit: January 12, 2023, 11:23:46 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #88 on: November 11, 2011, 10:11:25 PM »
Bafoon
                      Medium Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             5d10+5 (32 hp)
Initiative:           +6
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +5/+7
Attack:               Bite +7 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack:          Bite +7 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Riddle
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Scent
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 14, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills:               Bluff +7, Climb +10, Hide +7, Intimidate +7, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6
Feats:                Ability Focus (Riddle), Improved Initiative
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Troop (10-40)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"What do you call a zipper on a banana?"

"Monkeys gotta die Bert."

"Now Abner..."

"Don't now me.  That monkeys evil.  The zipper reference was a dead give away."

Bafoons are enchanted Baboons that can speak Common, and know a seemingly endless supply of riddles.  Unfortunately the consequences of trying to answer their riddles and failing is not what most people would consider acceptable.  They also happen to be thieving bastards and will quite willingly rob a party blind of food and shiny objects.  It's assumed, as usual, that a mage is responsible for their creation.  Although God knows what for, as they make sucky guards, and have nothing in the way of loyalty to anyone.

Riddle (Su): The Bafoon is adept at cursing people, and it disguises this as a riddle.  They have successfully convinced the locals that anyone failing to answer a Bafoons riddle is cursed.  In reality the Bafoon can curse people at will as a Supernatural Ability.  The Bafoon may choose to mimic the effects of one of the following spells when cursing an individual if they fail a DC 16 Will Save: Bestow Curse, Confusion, Contagion, or Crushing Despair.

Skills: Bafoons get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may Always Take 10 on a Climb Check.

Combat: Bafoons prefer to use their Riddles at first, running for help if a party seems tough.  After all it's easier to take murderhobos on when you have a few dozen friends willing to help.





Bafoon
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim will be attempting an interview with a strange Baboon-like creature the locals claim can curse you with riddles."

What Opens Itself?

"I question the wisdom of this Harlan."

"No worries Jim!  Mutual of Gnomeahaw covers curses and necromantic effects."

"Are you sure this is just a regular Baboon Harlan?"


Temperamental

"He hasn't spoken?"

"No.  No he's mostly just been staring."

"Have you tried speaking?"

"I should have mentioned he's been staring with his teeth bared."

"What.  Do You Call.  A Zipper.  On A Banana?"

"Well clearly he's angry Jim.  Listen to the way he over enunciates."
« Last Edit: May 01, 2022, 07:58:01 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #89 on: November 11, 2011, 10:11:50 PM »
Cameleon
                      Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             1d10+1 (6 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Climb 10 ft.
Armor Class:          13 (+2 Size, -1 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-11
Attack:               Bite +0 melee (1d3-4)
Full Attack:          Bite +0 melee (1d3-4)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Camouflage, Wide Angle Vision, Camera Eyes
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +1, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 8, Con 12, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha 8
Skills:               Climb +8, Hide +11, Listen +5, Move Silently +3, Search +8, Spot +8
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          2 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"So you're sure this thing can spot mah wife doing bad things, and the courts will accept it's word for it?"

"Yessir! Shouldn't be a problem.  Domestic disputes have long been a specialty of MCFAO industries.!"

"MCFAO?"

"Magical Critters For All Occasions."

"I dunno.  This seems a little offbeat..."

"Just rent the darn lizard so we can get on with our lives Bert."

Cameleons are magically engineered lizards who can 'record' whatever they see, and play it back again via illusion later.  This has revolutionized the spy/sabotage industries, as well as making bribing clergy and politicians much easier.  It's also led to torch bearing anti-lizard mobs...

Camouflage (Su): Cameleons may cast invisibility at will as a Supernatural Ability.  Caster level is equal to (HD+3).

Wide Angle Vision (Ex): The Cameleons adjustable eyes and wide range of vision make it immune to  being flanked, and grant it a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Spot Checks.

Camera Eyes (Su): The Cameleon can 'record' as a Free Action so long as it can successfully Concentrate (duration is similar to a spell that requires Concentration), and play it back later.  This is the equivalent of a Minor Image, except the Cameleon cant create the image it wants, it just plays back what its seen.  The Cameleon can 'store' up to 2 hours of footage at any one time.

Skills: The Cameleon gains a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide and Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb Check.  Chameleons use their Dex or Str Modifier for Climb Checks.

Combat: Cameleons aren't made for combat.  Unfortunately they really aren't made for fleeing either, which puts them between a rock and a hard place some times.


« Last Edit: May 01, 2022, 06:29:59 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #90 on: November 11, 2011, 10:12:17 PM »
Hive Golem
                      Large Construct
Hit Dice:             8d10+30 (74 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          14 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+14
Attack:               Slam +9 melee (2d6+4)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +9 melee (2d6+4)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Swarm
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft, Construct traits, Low Light Vision, Immunity to Magic, DR 5/adamantine
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 12, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills:               -
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any (but see below)
Organization:         Solitary, or Hive (4-8)
Challenge Rating:     7, plus the CR of the swarm if it has one loaded
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"A Golem?  Well I suppose it's a change of pace.  Wait, whats that crawling all over it?"

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"

Hive Golems are large, spongy humanoid forms that are basically large ambulatory hives for some sort of flying insect.  Most carry wasps or Locusts, but some carry much worse things...  They're quite popular as guards among farming mages and weirdos. 

Swarm (Ex): At will as a Free Action the Hive Golem can unleash a swarm to attack it's foes.  A large Hive Golem can hold a swarm of Wasps (FF), Locusts (MM), a Bloodmote Cloud (LM), Bloodfiend Locusts (FF), Hellwasps (MM), or Rapture Locusts (FF).  A Huge one can carry two of them.  Should the Hive Golem be attacked, the swarm will respond without the Golem needing to use a Free Action.  The swarm is considered to have total Concealment while inside the Golem.

Immune to Magic (Ex): A Hive Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell-Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance.  There are a few exceptions as follows: Repel Vermin prevents the Golem from approaching if the Swarm is inside it at the time.  Insect Plague acts as a Cure Serious Wounds spell on the Hive Golems swarm. 

Combat: Hive Golems tend to unleash their swarm, following in behind them with their fists.

Construction

A hive golem’s body must be sculpted from a single block of clay weighing at least 800 pounds, treated with rare oils and powders worth 1,500 gp. Creating the body requires a DC 15 Craft (sculpting) check check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct, Animate Objects, Geas/Quest, Resurrection, caster must be at least 10th level; Price 30,000 gp; Cost 15,500 gp + 1,140 XP.




Hive Golem

"Okay.  That is just terrifying."

"Some of those don't seem to be swarming with bees."

"Good eye Jim.  We keep them loaded with bees, wasps, locusts, etc.  A few are loaded with special payloads we repurposed after we took them from their creators."

"Those are Hellwasps on that Golem..."

"Yes sir.  We also have undead skeeters, demon modified locusts, and hypnotic locusts.  We bribe them with food to guard our secrets."

"Once again, you seem to have an awful lot of security..."

Unleash The Buzzen!

"Like I said we have things here that need protecting."

"And what do they eat?"

"Whatever we feed them to prevent them from hunting, and anything in their path.  Honestly, they're the one weapon we have that I fear.  Well, maybe the second."

"Why bother with such things?"

"You've heard me mention necromancers before.  We have a lot of cults in the area.  Most of them are far from harmless, and all of them want power."

"What power could you possess that normal Druids do not?"


Easy To Make, Easy To Lose Control Of

"We can weaponize bees, among other things.  We don't like to, but sometimes we have no choice."

"I can't believe one apiary draws so much attention."

"Well, they do probably make quite a great deal of money Harlan."





« Last Edit: February 04, 2023, 12:18:07 AM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #91 on: November 11, 2011, 10:12:38 PM »
Fungal Golem
                      Large Construct
Hit Dice:             9d10+30 (79 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+17
Attack:               Slam +12 melee (2d6+7)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +12 melee (2d6+7)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spores
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct traits, Plantlike, Immune to Magic, DR 10/Magic
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
Skills:               
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any except Cold or Desert
Organization:         Solitary or Ring (5-12)
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          10-13 HD (Large), 14-18 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...whut the Hell is that thing?"

"No idea.  I say we just shoot it dead from here.  It doesn't look like something I wanna touch."

Fungal Golems (also known as Toadstool Golems) are horrifying humanoid masses of fungus tissue surrounded by clouds of spores.  They look bad.  They smell bad.  They're disposition is not sunny.  And worse, they can reproduce forcibly by converting others.  For this reason they aren't commonly used as guards by many races.  That and the fact that enough fungus must be grown to assemble a Golem.

Spores (Ex): A cloud of spores has the chance to affect anything in the Golems square, or any adjacent square.  Effectively the spores work like a disease.  Contact, DC 18 (Save DC is Con Based with a +4 Racial Bonus). Incubation Period 1 day, Damage is 1d6 Con.  Successive Saves will not end the disease.  Only a Remove Disease spell or potent anti-fungal drugs will cure the disease (drugs cost 10 GP assuming you can find someone who knows how to make them).  If the disease kills the victim, it rises the 1d4 days later as a Fungal Golem

Plantlike (Ex): Fungal Golems also have all the traits of the Plant Type, and are considered Plants for the purposes of spells/effects.

Immune to Magic (Ex): A Fungal Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell-Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance.  There are a few exceptions as follows: An Antiplant Shell still keeps them at bay.

Combat: Fungal Golems move into melee as soon as possible to expose victims to their spores.  They bash away a few rounds to infect them, and then flee to let the spores work unless they've been told otherwise.

Fungal Bloom
Transmutation
Level: Dru 8, Sor/Wiz 8
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 Hour
Range: Close (25 ft. plus 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Creates 1 Fungal Bloom
Duration: 1 hour/level
This spell temporarily creates a 10 foot all by 10 foot across fungal bloom that sheds spores out to a 30 foot radius centered on itself.  Any living Humanoid creature of Small or Medium size entering this area must make a Fortitude Save (Save DC is equal to your spell DC) to avoid Disease.  Incubation Period 1 day, Damage is 1d6 Con.  Successive Saves will not end the disease.  Only a Remove Disease spell will cure the disease.  If the disease kills the victim, it rises the 1d4 days later as a Fungal Golem.



Fungal Golem

"Step on up, and see the future."

"What is that thing, and why is it in a sealed environment in a force bubble?"

Nasty Business

"The spores.  Spend too much time in their company, and you become one of them."

"So you made a doomsday weapon?"

"It has the potential,  SOP is to use the spell that creates them, and then Meteor Swarm the place from above when it's all over."

"Why wouldn't you just meteor swarm it to begin with?"

It's The End Of The World As You Know It

"Revenge."

"That was surprisingly accurate.  Have we met?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure I know the crazy Druid who was developing this stuff, and told him it was a bad idea."
« Last Edit: November 27, 2022, 04:46:58 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #92 on: November 11, 2011, 10:12:58 PM »
Manakin Golem
                      Medium Construct
Hit Dice:             4d10+20 (42 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+6
Attack:               Slam +6 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +6 melee (1d6+3)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spectacular Malfunction
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Construct Traits, Immune to Magic, DR 5/-
Saves:                Fort +1, Ref +0, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
Skills:               -
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          5-8 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"GREETINGS FELLOW PERFECTLY NORMAL HUMAN MAN THANGS!  IS IT NOT A WONDERFUL DAY FOR NORMAL CONVERSATION?"

"Bert, who is this guy?

"I ENJOY BEER AND GODLESS FORNICATION MUCH LIKE ANY OTHER CONFORMING HUMAN PERSON!"

"Dunno.  He followed me from town.  He's...a little odd."

"I COME FROM A FAR LAND WITH CUSTOMS YOU MAY FIND STRANGE! IGNORE ME!"

"I'm about to whack him over the head  for general purposes Bert."

"BEHOLD THAT OGRE WOMAN! TRULY SHE MUST BE THE FATTEST OF WOMEN!"

"Thanks for insulting the locals while standing next to us dumbass.  Do you have an inside voice by any chance?"

"IGNORE ME!"

"Small chance of that...'

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING FAT?"


Occasionally the Manakins feels the need to study other humanoid species, and decide to do so from the protective insides of a specially created clockwork Golem designed to resemble a member of a Humanoid race (usually humans).  A Manakin Golem can comfortably carry 6 Manakin and 30 days of supplies inside it. 

Manakin Golems resemble humans (usually), albeit with odd things like a few too many fingers, or wire for hair, or some other oddity such as plastic skin.  A built in magic speaker allows them to communicate (i.e. one of the passengers acts as it's voice and has mental control of it's movements), but with the Manakin's...fragmented knowledge of humanoid customs it doesn't always work out so well.

Spectacular Malfunction (Ex): Once a Manakin Golem is reduced to half hit points or less it is damaged enough to be an obvious construct.  It also begins to misfire badly, and each turn the controller must make a d20 roll plus his Wisdom modifier and consult the following table (Note the Golem's usual immunities do not apply to the effects from this table):

0 or less: Golems head explodes doing 1d10 damage to everything within 10 ft. (but this does not affect it afterwards in any way)
1 to 5: Golem is Paralyzed until next round
6 to 10: Golem is Slowed until next round
11 to 15: Golem is Confused until next round
16 to 20: Golem acts normally
21+: Golem is +1 on all rolls until the next round

Immune to Magic (Ex): A Manakin Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell-Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance.

Combat:  Manakins generally direct their Golem to flee or use any weapon that does more damage than it's fists if it encounters trouble.   Many Golems are equipped with ports that allow casters traveling inside to cast offensive spells from it.



Manakin Golems
"Greetings!  Once again his is your host Harlan Jurgens, along with my assistant Jim!  Today on Mutual of Gnomeahaw's WIld Kingdom, we take at look at rumors of a race of diminutive humanoids dwelling in the forests of the Fifty Shires."

"I AM JUST LIKE YOU"
"Greetings sir, do you know anything of the recent sightings?"

"Can you tell us anything of these mysterious people?"

"I AM JOHN!  A NORMAL MAN, WHO MANS NORMALLY!!  I AM IGNORANT OF THESE MATTERS!"

"Are you having trouble containing the volume of your voice?"

"I SPEAK PURELY IN A LOUD, NORMAL TONE!  BEHOLD MY NORMALITY!"

"What can you tell us about the tiny people?"

"IGNORE THE RUMORS! WE DO NOT EXIST!"

"We?"


Not Quite Right

"(BEEP)"

"Wait, is that a Golem?"

"I AM NOT A GOLEM!  I AM A PERFECTLY AVERAGE TRASH FARMER!"

"Trash farmer?"
« Last Edit: November 12, 2023, 08:19:48 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #93 on: November 11, 2011, 10:13:26 PM »
MANAKIN


   
"Being small has it's disadvantages.  The shocking lack of underwear among the biggie sized folk for example..."

 The Manakin race appears to be 6" tall humans.  Body morphology and facial features varies wildly (moreso than most humanoids), but among the Manakin it does so even among close family members.  The Manakins are a variant species of Human who have evolved to fill a specific niche since being brought to the Jester's World.  Manakin are rare enough that most other Humanoids don't know they exist, and when they do discover them they are often taken aback at their penchant for saying literally anything that is on their mind at the time.  The Manakin are difficult to offend, and they believe other races are too (at least initially), and they don't immediately realize that other species may find them offensive.

MANAKIN SPECIES TRAITS
·   -10 Str (minimum 1), +4 Dex, +2 Con, +2 Int, +2 Wis, +4 Cha
·   Size Class: Diminutive.  +4 Size Bonus to Armor Class and Attack Rolls. +12 Size Bonus to Hide Checks. -12 Size Penalty to Bull Rush, Grapple, Overrun, and Trip Checks. Lifting and Carrying Limits are one eighth those of a Medium character.
·   Humanoid with Human Subtype
·   Base land speed 5 ft.
·   Feats: Manakins receive any Luck Feat as a Bonus Feat (see Complete Scoundrel).
·   Manakin get a +4 Species Bonus on Move Silently, Search, and Use Magic Device Checks.
·   Automatic and Bonus languages: Manakin automatically speak Manakin,  Bonus Languages are Common and Sylvan.
·   Level Adjustment: +2
·   Favored Class: Artificer

STARTING AGE
 Adulthood: 20
 Barbarian, Rogue, Sorcerer: +2d4
 Bard, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger: +3d6
 Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard: +4d6

AGING EFFECTS
 Middle Age: 50
 Old: 75
 Venerable: 100
 Maximum Age: +5d20 years

HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
 Base Height: 4"
 Height Modifier: +1d2"
 Base Weight: 6 ounces
 Weight Modifier: x2 ounces

MANAKIN CHARACTERS
 If you'd like to play a small Humanoid that can hide easily, or one that likes to fool about with magical items, the Manakins are a pretty good option.  Playing them as anything but a caster of some sort will be tough though (especially if you insist on doing damage).
 Adventuring Reasons: Manakin often go on adventures on whims, just to see if they can, or to see new things, or just because they're bored with their daily routine.  Given that they also are prolific makers of magical items they also often need odd or rare pieces of materials for their work.  And their ability to hide well ensures they don't often find themselves dead or arrested like their full sized coworkers.
 Character Development: Manakins are magical tinkerers, always hoping to find or create new and exciting items, or find new variations on old ones.  Their small size really doesn't lend towards them becoming much else other than casters of some sort.  They're too small for weapons combat, and too small to carry loot for thieving purposes.  Plus their proficiency with magical items helps make up for their deficiencies in strength, size, and speed.
 Character Names: Male Names: Alain, Damian, Felix, Gregoire, Josue, Lucien, Marcel, Onesime, Rodolphe, Sylvain.  Female: Coco, Delphyne, Fanchette, Felice, Fleurette, Josette, Liesell, Lilane, Mireille, Zepherine.  Surnames: Baudeloque, Biennais, Chameroi, Charriere, de Lespinasse, Despaux, Dumoulin, Foucalt, Gautier, Moncelet.

ROLEPLAYING A MANAKIN
 Being somewhat exotic you will initially attract lots of attention, especially by bigger species.  They tend to quickly grow tired of your unending questions, and you're seemingly being underfoot or into things all the time.  They also have trouble with your honesty and forthrightness (i.e. asking questions like "Who is that Ogre that smells like rotting fruit?  Is it his various skin diseases that cause that?" while said Ogre is within earshot). 
 Personality: Manakins tend to be curious, flighty, and given to doing things just to see what will happen.  This whimsy makes it easy for them to get along with the Fey, but not so good when dealing with larger races (especially given their paranoia of being stepped on).  Despite their whimsicalness, however, they tend to be loyal, so one need not worry over much about betrayal if he has befriended a Manakin (unless he has betrayed them first).  Even the Fey, however, are taken aback at the usual Manakin lack of self awareness, or anything resembling a filter.
 Behaviors: Manakins rarely do what their told (they're kinda stubborn and independent) unless they have great respect for the person giving the orders.  They prefer to look for new and novel ways of dealing with problems rather than using conventional wisdom.  They also feel the need to know about/get into everything, especially if they've been told not to.
 Language: Most Manakin speak their own language. 

MANAKIN SOCIETY
 Manakin law is fairly relaxed, as they tend to shun anyone who commits truly bad offenses (usually anytime one of them commits a crime the entire village makes sure they know they need to change their ways).  Manakin devote a great deal of time to their children, as they believe their children are the future of their species and need the best of everything to get ahead in the world.  Unlike some species, succeeding generations don't seem to take this for granted, and despite being free-wheeling and fairly chaotic the Manakin's seem to avoid the cultural generation gap others suffer.
 Alignment : Like other humans, all Alignments are fairly common among the Manakins, but they have slight tendencies towards both Chaos and Neutrality as opposed to their ancestors.  Many are quite whimsical and prone to following their dreams or sudden ideas.
 Lands : Manakins prefer remote areas where larger Humanoids and predators don't bother them (although larger is generally a relative term when discussing the Manakins).  Forests or grasslands or other areas with ample hiding places are given top priority.
 Settlements : Manakins will settle anywhere as long as there are plenty of places to hide from predators, and they can get their privacy (which generally means they avoid urban areas).
 Beliefs :The Manakins tend to shop about for Gawds, each one having their own preference.  They prefer Neutrally inclined Gawds, as the Good and Evil ones always insist they run about mucking around in the business of others which runs counter to the Manakins nature.
 Relations: Manakins are a tad xenophobic as other races have a history of stepping on them, and quite frankly they aren't very fond of that.  Not very fond at all.  But their curiosity usually offsets that. They get along well enough with most Fey, and some Druids, but most Humanoids will be alarming to them.  Non Humanoid races will normally be considered monsters.

MANAKIN ADVENTURES
·   One of the villagers has fallen in love with a woman of the big folk, so he's asked your help in obtaining the ingredients for growth and shrinking potions.  You think he's gone loopy, but who are you to stand in the way of true love?  Or half thought out foolish schemes?
·   A giant monster (a drunk bear) has been stumbling about near the village at night.  He's nearly killed several people by accident without realizing they were there several times, and you have been tasked with finding him and finding out whats wrong with him and fixing it.  Or barring that ensuring that he wont come back.
·   A local Stone Giant couple are getting a divorce, and as you are too small to be really noticeable both sides have hired your people to spy on the other to find dirt for the legal proceedings.  This has led to a bit of a problem.  On the one hand there's a bit of conflict of interest.  On the other hand they may squish you all if you say no...



Manakin
"Our apologies ladies and gentlemen, we didn't realize you were hiding from the outside world for good reason."

"We don't want the big folk here accidentally stepping on out kids.  We have troubles enough."

Phobia Of Being Stepped On
"So you build Golems to scare people off."

"Ingenious."

"Well, mostly we use them to study you undetected."

"You need to work on the 'undetected' part."

"However did you see through our flawless disguise?"

"Er...your mannerisms and speech patterns were...unusual."

"In what way?"

"You sounded like you'd been eating a certain type of mushroom..."


Friends of the Fey

"But all the local sound that way."

"That suddenly explains a great many things..."

"That's why we thought we we're going to have to dart you."

"Perfectly understandable."


Manakin Species Feats

Sleep Poison
You can make a poison that induces sleep.
 Prerequisites: Manakin, Brew Potion, Craft (Poison) 8 ranks
 Benefits: For 25 GP, you can make one dose of a poison.  Contact, Willpower Save (Save DC is Int based, Initial Damage: Target falls asleep for 1 Minute, Secondary damage is unconsciousness for 1 Hour.  Taking damage awakens the target.  Brewing one dose of the poison takes 1 day.


Memory Poison
You can craft a poison that erases memories.
 Prerequisites: Sleep Poison
 Benefits: For 1000 GP, you can make one dose of a poison.  Contact, Willpower Save (Save DC is Int based, Initial Damage: Target loses all memories of the past 10 minutes, Secondary damage is memory loss of the last 24 hours.  Brewing one dose of the poison takes 1 day.


Tiny Danger
You are adept at combat, despite your Size.
 Prerequisites: Manakin, Anklebiter
 Benefits: You have a 5 foot Reach, despite being Tiny or smaller.


Golemancer
You excel at working with Golems.
 Prerequisites: Any Item Creation Feat
 Benefits: If you encounter a Berserk golem, you can calm it with a DC 19 Diplomacy Check, whether or not you are the creator.  If you gain the Craft Construct Feat, Golems you make only have a cumulative 1% chance per combat to go Berserk.


Manakin Species Substitution Levels

Artificer
 Level 4: Replace Craft Homunculus with Golem Familiar..
  Golem Familiar: You gain the Obtain Familiar Feat (see Complete Arcane).  The Familiar granted has it's type changed to Construct.

Sorcerer
 Level 1: You may ride your Familiar as a mount, so long as it is Tiny or Small.  You do not nee to make Ride Checks with a DC of 10 or less due to your empathic link.

Ranger
 Levels 2, 6 and 11: You gain a new option with Combat Mastery: Poisoner.  AT 2nd Level you gain "Poison Use (Ex): You are trained in the use of poison and never risk accidentally poisoning themselves when applying poison to a blade." , at 6th Level the Save DC of Contact Poisons you craft improves by +1, and at 11th Level any Contact Poisons you craft do +1 damage per damage die.
  Level 4: You may ride your Animal Companion as a mount, so long as it is Tiny or Small.  You do not nee to make Ride Checks with a DC of 10 or less due to your link.



GOLEMANCER


   
"Crap, how did you know I was a Golem?"

 You create. modify. maintain and pilot the Manakin Golem fleet.  This requires mountains of gold in supplies, which means you have to kowtow to some petty king or other for financing.  But doing so lets you build your private robot army.  So it ain't all bad.  But you also have to pilot the Golems while pretending to be a 'normal humanoid', whatever the hell that's supposed to man.  You're a Golem maker, not a friggin' first contact specialist.  How are you supposed to know what acceptable humanoid behavior is?

BECOMING A GOLEMANCER
Manakin Artificers with the appropriate skills will do.

 ENTRY REQUIREMENTS
   Species:  Manakin
   Infusions:  Must know 2 fourth level Infusions.
   Feats:  Craft Construct, Golemancer
   Skills:  Knowledge (Arcana) 4 ranks, Spellcraft 4 ranks


Class Skills
 The Golemancer's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Hide (Dex), Knowledge (Arcana, Int), Move Silently (Dex), Spellcraft (Int), and Use Magic Device (Cha).
Skills Points at Each  Level : 4 + int

Hit Dice: d6

Code: [Select]
[b]   BAB  Fort    Ref    Will  Abilities[/b]
1. +0    +0     +0     +2    Golem Friend, +1 Level of Infusing Class
2. +1    +0     +0     +3    Expanded Knowledge, , +1 Level of Infusing Class
3. +2    +1     +1     +3    Boost Golem, +1 Level of Infusing Class
4. +3    +1     +1     +4    Golem Friend, +1 Level of Infusing Class
5. +3    +1     +1     +4    Expanded Knowledge, , +1 Level of Infusing Class
6. +4    +2     +2     +5    Boost Golem, +1 Level of Infusing Class
7. +5    +2     +2     +5    Golem Friend, +1 Level of Infusing Class
8. +6    +2     +2     +6    Expanded Knowledge, +1 Level of Infusing Class
9. +6    +3     +3     +6    Boost Golem , +1 Level of Infusing Class
10.+7    +3     +3     +7   Clockwork Armor, +1 Level of Infusing Class

Weapon Proficiencies: A Golemancer gains no new proficiencies.

Craft Reserve/Infusions: Your Golemancer and Artificer Levels stack for purposes of determining your Craft Reserve and your Infusions per Day.

Golem Friend (Su): At 1st Level you gain Telepathy with a range of 60 feet, but it only works on Constructs.  This is primarily used to give Manakin Golem s orders (this is a Swift Action).

At 4th Level, spells you cast via your Boost Golem ability are cast at +1 Caster Level.

At 7th Level, the range of any Repair damage spells you cast increases by +30 feet.

Expanded Knowledge: At Levels 2, 5, and 8 you may choose any one spell from the Wizard list to add to your Infusions known.  AT 2nd Level you can choose a spell of 4th Level or lower.  AT 5th Level you can choose any spell of 5th Level or lower.  At 8th Level you can choose any spell of 6th Level or lower.

Boost Golem (Su): At levels 3, 6, and 9 you gain a few spells you can cast on your automaton friends (in other words they can be cast on Constructs only).  At Level 3 you gain 2 spells per day that you can cast (spellcasting is based off of Intelligence).  You may choose 2 from the following: Greater Construct Energy Ward, Humanoid Essence, Iron Construct, Natural Weapon Augmentation, Repair Critical Damage, Weapon Augmentation.  At Level 6 you gain 2 more spells, which you can choose from the following: Greater Heroism, Mass Fly, Mass Repair Light Damage.  AT 9th Level you gain 2 more spells per day, which you must choose from the following: Greater Humanoid Essence, Greater Natural Weapon Augmentation, Greater Weapon Augmentation,  Hardening, Mass Repair Moderate Damage, or Total Repair.  Spells not in the PHB can be found in the Spell Compendium, Magic of Eberron, Magic of Eberron and Eberron Campaign Setting.
 
Clockwork Armor (Su): AT 10th Level you may begin investing in a suit of armor.  You gain Proficiency with Heavy Armor, and set about enchanting a suit of Full Plate.  This set of armor can receive a number of Infusions equal to the Artificer's Intelligence modifier.

PLAYING A GOLEMANCER
 You don't get people.  But you love automatons (probably because they're of a less fussy mindset than humanoids).  Which is probably why you make so many of them.  And why so many people who know you call you 'that weirdo'.
 Combat: You let the Golems do the fighting.  They're built for it after all.
 Advancement: Your profession is highly individualistic, and you vary wildly in powers and manner.
 Resources: All Golemancers have the patronage of the Manakin nobility.  You need lots of cash to finance your schemes..

GOLEMANCERS IN THE WORLD
"Is that a 6 inch tall man riding a robot Capybara?"
 Golemancers don't encounter people much.  They prefer the company of constructs.  They feel they understand them more.
 Daily Life: Most of your time is spent creating and maintaining Golems.  Or piloting Golems so the village casters can study the Big Folk.
 Notables: Felix Smelter (CN Male Manakin Artificer x/Golemancer x) is unique in that he has never piloted a Golem.  He really doesn't like people.  Bitter Coco (CE Female Manakin Artificer x/Golemancer x) has done nothing but pilot them, which has left her scarred.  Coco has seen some stuff.
 Organizations: Most Golemancers work for their local government.

NPC Reaction
 NPC's tend to react to you with shock.  You are a bit unusual, after all..

GOLEMANCERS IN THE GAME
GOlemancerss are a ... twitchy class to play.  This can make for some 'interesting times' for the party, so be ready.
 Adaptation: This is meant for my silly campaign, but it is adaptable to any Golem prone race.
 Encounters: Golemancers are usually encountered piloting Manakin Golems..

Sample Encounter
EL 12: The PC's are having a nice lunch, when the door to the inn bursts in, and there stands a jerky, clockwork golem in shabby clothes.  "GREETINGS FELLOW MORTALS.  I REQUIRE A SERVICING."  Well, so much for lunch...


Felix Smelter
CN Male Manakin Artificer 6/Golemancer 6
Init +4, Senses: Listen +4, Spot +4
Languages Manakin, Common
------------------------------------------------
AC 22 (+4 Size, +4 Dex, +4 Armor), touch 18, flat-footed 18
hp 63 (12 HD)
Fort +6, Ref +8 (+10 w/Familiar), Will +11  additional +5 for Cloak
------------------------------------------------
Speed 5 ft. (1 square)
Melee
Ranged +2 Quick-Loading Light Crossbow +14/+9 (1d3+2/19-20)
Base Atk +8, Grp -9
Atk Options
Infusions Per Day 1st: Lesser Armor Enhancement, Magic Weapon, Repair Light Damage. 2nd: Armor Enhancement, Reinforce Construct, Repair Moderate Damage. 3rd: Construct Energy Ward, Greater Armor Enhancement, Repair Serious Damage. 4th: Greater Invisibility, Iron Construct, Repair Critical Damage. 5th: Fabricate, Mass Repair Light Damage.
Supernatural Abilities Golem Familiar (Weasel), Retain Essence
-----------------------------------------------
Abilities Str 1, Dex 18, Con 14, Int 20, Wis 12, Cha 17
SQ Artificer Knowledge +11, Artisan Bonus, Boost Golem, Craft Reserve 700, Disable Trap, Expanded Knowledge, Item Creation
Feats Combat casting, Craft Construct, Golemancer, Brew Potion (B), Craft Magic Arms and Armor (B), Craft Wands (B), Craft Wondrous Items (B), Extraordinary Artisan (B, see Eberron Campaign Setting), Miser's Fortune (B, see Complete Scoundrel), Scribe Scroll (B)
Skills Bluff +12, Concentration +17, Craft (Clockwork, any 2) +20, Diplomacy +5, Hide +19, Knowledge (Arcana) +14, Listen +4, Move Silently +15, Search +18, Spellcraft +14, Spot +4, Use Magic Device +16
Possessions +3 Padded Armor, +2 Quick-Loading Light Crossbow, +5 Cloak of Resistance, Sustaining Spoon, Robe of Blending, 300 GP



EPIC GOLEMANCER

Hit Die: d6
Skills Points at Each  Level : 4 + int
Infusions An Epic Golemancer's caster level is equal to his class level. The Golemancer's number of infusions per day does not increase after 20th level. An Epic Golemancer doesn't automatically gain infusion slots above 6th level, though he can select the Improved Spell Capacity feat to gain infusion slots above 6th level (which can be used to hold lower-level infusions or infusions whose level has been increased above 6th by the use of metamagic feats).
Craft Reserve An Epic Golemancer's craft reserve increases by 1,000 points per level beyond 20th (6,000 points at 21st level. 7,000 points at 22nd level, and so on).
Bonus Feats: The Epic Golemancer gains a Bonus Feat every 3 levels higher than 20th




« Last Edit: November 23, 2023, 04:40:04 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #94 on: November 11, 2011, 10:15:18 PM »
Darwin Monkey
                      Small Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice:             3d8+3 (16 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          12 (+1 Size, +1 Dex), touch 12, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/-2 (+0 when Furious)
Attack:               Slap +5 melee (1d3-1)
Full Attack:          2 Slaps +5 melee (1d3-1)
Attack (when Furious):               Slap +5 melee (1d3+1)
Full Attack (when Furious):          2 Slaps +5 melee (1d3+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Fury
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60 ft., Sagely Advice, Stubborn Disbelief
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 8 (12 while Furious), Dex 12, Con 12, Int 18, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills:               Bluff +6, Climb +7 (+9 when Furious), Gather Information +6, Hide +9, Knowledge (any 3) +16, Listen +6, Sense Motive +6, Spot +6, Survival +6
Feats:                Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...I don't think we shoulda ate those pine cones..."

"Why not?  It's all we've got."

"I'm seein' monkeys Bert.  Big monkeys with old man faces..."

"We see you too peasant.  Get off our land!"

"Ha! They remind me of paw! Wait, howcum I can see your hallucinations..."

Darwin Monkeys are named after an old sage (presumably their discoverer or creator).  Most resemble brown or black furred monkeys of unusual stature, with no tails, and the head of a bearded old man.  Disconcerting to see peering at you from the darkness when you wake in the middle of the night to say the least.  Darwin Monkeys speak Common and 4 languages from other nearby races.

Fury (Ex): Darwin monkeys are slightly unstable, and once they are hurt in combat they become Furious for the rest of the encounter (after which they are exhausted for 1d4 rounds).  While they are Furious anyone successfully struck by their Slap attack must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Strength Based) or be Stunned 1 round.  They also gain a +4 Bonus to Strength for the duration of their Fury.

Sagely Advice (Ex): Darwin Monkeys effectively have the Bardic Knowledge ability (see page 28 of the PHB), substituting their Hit Dice for Bard Level.

Stubborn Disbelief (Ex): Darwin Monkeys do not traffic with Gawds, and have a +2 Bonus on all Saves against Divine Magic.

Skills: Darwin Monkeys have a +8 Racial Bonus to all Climb Checks and all Knowledge Checks.

Combat: Darwin Monkeys prefer to hide rather than fight (though their acerbic wit tends to start fights when they're around rather often).  Sometimes when the Fury overtakes them they do put up a rather nasty slapping demonstration.


Improved Familiar Note: The Darwin Monkey may be chosen as a Familiar using the Improved Familiar Feat at 5th level by a neutral caster.




Darwin Monkeys

"We are very lost Jim."

"There's a bunch of tiny old men in that tree, perhaps we could ask them."

"It's a trap Jim.  Old men don't live in trees."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Don't call me sir (beep), I work for a living."

"And we're off to a great start."

Wise Critters of the Forest

"Do you know where we are?"

"You're on our lawn (beep)."

"Look, we just want to get back to civilization."

"You saying we aren't civilized?  Well (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)!"

"Jebus..."


Dedicated Antitheists!

"None of that religious claptrap here (beep).  Turn left, and watch out for the hamsters."

"Hamsters?"

"We'll figure it out along the way Harlan."
« Last Edit: January 08, 2023, 05:51:54 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #95 on: November 11, 2011, 10:15:47 PM »
Nerf Golem
                      Medium Construct
Hit Dice:             2d10+20 (31 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          12 (+2 Dex), touch 12, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Nerf Fist +2 melee (1d4+1)
Full Attack:          2 Nerf Fists +2 melee (1d4+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Nerf
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60 ft., Construct Traits, DR 15/Slashing or Piercing, Immunity to Magic
Saves:                Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +0
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 3
Skills:               -
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Abner I've seen some damn silly things used as minions in mah time, but this..."

Arkimedes was a passable alchemist.  Passable meaning not famous.  Of course alchemy alone won't guarantee fame, and Arkimedes wasn't the greatest of casters.  Toiling hard in his shop one night trying to create a new form of building material, he accidentally created Nerf.  A soft spongy material that had odd magical effects on people (and things). 

Nerf (Su): Whenever the Nerf Golem successfully damages an opponent with it's Fist Attack, that opponent must make a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Constitution Based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or it takes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks for 1 round.

Immunity to Magic: The Nerf Golem is immune to any Spell or Spell-Like Ability that allows Spell Resistance.

Combat: Nerf Golems suck tactically, and usually just wade in swinging much like any other Golem.   Sometimes they do enjoy the use of special Nerf weapons though.

Construction: A Nerf Golem is made from 80 pounds of Nerf costing at least 40 GP.  Assembling the Body requires a DC 11 Craft (Alchemy) check. 

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Doom, Caster must be 11th Level.  Price 2050 GP; Cost 1050 GP + 32 XP

Nerf Weapon
Price: +1 Bonus
Property: Weapon
Caster Level:
Aura:
Activation: ---

Nerf Weapons do non-lethal damage, and on a successful hit the target takes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, saving throws, skill checks, and ability checks for 1 round. 
Prerequisites: Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Doom
Cost to Create: Varies



Nerf Golem

"Thank you for shopping Hasbro.  How can I e of assistance?"

"Are those Golems, or toys sir?"

Not Toys

"They are not toys sir.  They're made of a new material our head alchemist created."

"But they look soft and spongy."

"They are sure, but their sponge has some unusual properties."

"They'd have to  be good to be worth it."

Surprisingly Effective

"What kind of properties?"

"Being attacked by weapons made from this material partially disables the target.  Other forces can then follow up."

"I'll take four."
« Last Edit: December 02, 2022, 11:36:02 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #96 on: November 11, 2011, 10:17:06 PM »



Emperor Ralph
                      Fine Outsider (Chaotic, Evil, Native)
Hit Dice:             100d8+2500 (3300 hp)
Initiative:           +10
Speed:                Fly 5 ft. (1 square), Clumsy
Armor Class:          60 (+8 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Profane, +30 Natural), touch 30, flat-footed 58
Base Attack/Grapple:  +100/+135
Attack:               Nibble +143 melee (1d2+52)
Full Attack:          Nibble +143 melee (1d2+52)
Space/Reach:          1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Incredibly Strong
Special Qualities:    Floaty, Invulnerability 30/-, SR 48, Fast Healing 30, Regeneration 30, Scent, Immunities, True Seeing, Nondetection, Blindsight 500 ft. Telepathy 1000 ft., Abomination traits
Saves:                Fort +77, Ref +54, Will +57
Abilities:            Str 80, Dex 14, Con 60, Int 20, Wis 20, Cha 30
Skills:               Appraise+63, Bluff +69, Concentration +83, Diplomacy +74, Gather Information +70, Hide +78, Intimidate +70, Knowledge (Arcana, Dungeoneering, Geography, History, Local, Nobility, Religion, The Planes) +63, Knowledge (Nature) +65, Listen +63, Move Silently +62, Search +63, Sense Motive +63, Spellcraft +65, Spot +63, Use Magic Device +68
Feats:                Adaptable Flanker (see PHBII), Anklebiter (New Feat), Blind Fight, Combat Awareness (see PHB II), Combat Focus (see PHB !!), Combat Reflexes, Deflect Arrows, Dodge, Earth's Embrace (see Complete Warrior), Eyes in the Back of Your Head (see Complete Warrior), Hover, Improved Initiative, Improved Scent (See Savage Species), Improved Unarmed Strike, Leadership, Mobility, Multigrab, Pain Touch (see Complete Warrior), Rapid Stunning (see Complete Warrior), Snatch Arrows, Spring Attack, Stunning Fist, Uncanny Scent (see Savage Species), Vexing Flanker (see PHB), Water Splitting Stone (see PHB !!), Weakening Touch (see Complete Warrior), Wingover   Epic Feats: Epic Leadership, Epic Reputation, Improved Combat Reflexes, Improved Stunning Fist, Legendary Commander, Master Manipulator, Superior Initiative
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Unique
Challenge Rating:    36
Treasure:             Triple Standard
Alignment:            Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          101+ HD
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Where's my money?"

Long, long ago in the dim dark past of the Jester's Realm there was a gigantic nameless abomination of life.  This towering abomination had pretensions towards godhood, and set about attempting to achieve this aim.  Since the Jester appoints Lesser deities in his own realm, he was amused by the monsters chutzpah.  He was less amused by all the frothing, bloody sacrifices it made in order to try to get it's desires.  And so he demoted it in a sense.  Stripping the creature of it's awe-inspiring size and (most of) it's magical power, he reduced it in form to that of a tiny hamster.  He also cursed it to be unable to touch the ground for reasons unknown.   

Eventually taking the name Ralph the now enraged (but teensy) entity set about re-establishing it's kingdom, beginning as an adviser or 'power behind the throne' type of ruler.  Ralph has been defeated several times, and usually manages to regain a kingdom somewhere.  He's immortal after all, he can afford to be patient. 

Ralph appears as a normal hamster, albeit usually with cape and crown, floating off the ground. He appears to speak all known languages.

Improved Grab (Ex): Emperor Ralph may make a Grapple Check without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Incredibly Strong (Ex): Emperor Ralph does not take Size Penalties to Combat Maneuvers such as Grappling, Trips, Bull Rushes, etc.

Floaty (Ex): As he is cursed to not touch the ground, Ralph floats in the air hovering.  Absolutely no force on earth can get him closer than 6" from the ground, effectively granting him immunity to Trip Attacks, he can never be prone, and he constantly has a Feather Fall in Effect on his person.

Invulnerability (Ex): Invulnerability is similar to Damage Reduction, but it also blocks damage from energy attacks, spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities.  For example Ralph has Invulnerability 30.  That means it negates the first 30 points of damage from any attack (this includes untyped damage).

Immunities (Ex): Ralph is immune to Ability Drain/Damage, Energy Drain, aging, Stunning, sleep and death effects, poison, paralysis, petrification, polymorph, disease, mind affecting effects, and fatigue/exhaustion effects.  He does not require food, sleep, or water.  Ralph is not subject to death by massive damage

Regeneration (Ex): Ralph's Regeneration doesn't work against damage that is both Epic and Good.

True Seeing (Su): Ralph permanently has the True Seeing ability, as per the spell (Caster Level equals HD).

Nondetection (Su): Ralph permanently has nondetection in effect on his person, as per the spell (Caster Level equals HD).

Combat: Lacking his former impressive physical armament and supernatural abilities, Ralph has had to be content with studying fighting the old fashioned way: the martial arts.  He is the worlds only floating kung fu hamster.  And he's not happy.  Generally he prefers others to do his fighting for him, but if pressed he's a pretty mean grappler.




Emperor Ralph
"There's the rest of the Elves!"

"IS that a Hams...Ralph!  Ralph is that you?  Return this young Giants pets at once!"

Former Elder Evil

"Well as I live and breath, if it isn't Harlan Jurgens.  Still up to your old tricks?"

"Who is this?"

"Emperor Ralph, ruler of the world."

"Why are you floating?"

"That's a rather long story."

"Back off Ralph.  I still have the Gawd Whistle."

"Sigh...of course you do.  Minions! They will only dare use the Whistle against me!  Distract them whilst I make  good my escape! MWUHAHAHA!"  BAMF!

"Screaming mwuhaha before teleporting out? What is he, an olld timey supervillain?"


Woul Be Funny If He Weren't So Ambitious

"Well, yes basically he is."

"Awright you (beep).  We can do this the easy way, or the had way."

"There's something odd about these Elves..."

"Awright, hard way it is."

"What is the Gawd Whistle?  Harlan, are you carrying Artefacts again?"
« Last Edit: November 26, 2023, 06:06:32 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #97 on: November 11, 2011, 10:18:11 PM »
Rhinoctopus
                      Large Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             8d10+24 (68 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          17 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +7 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +8/+18
Attack:               Tentacle +13 melee (1d4+6)
Full Attack:          8 Tentacles +13 melee (1d4+6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rending Constriction
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Ink Cloud, Amphibious
Saves:                Fort +9, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 23, Dex 13, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 3
Skills:               Escape Artist +11, Hide +8, Listen +6, Spot +6, Swim +14
Feats:               Alertness, Endurance, Skill Focus (Hide)
Environment:          Warm Aquatic or Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Large), 17-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"How is it Wizards never have normal pet guards Bert?"

"Ah think they feel they need to live up to their reputation."

"Ah'm gonna hurt this one bad since that thing of his pooped ink in mah face."

The Rhinoctopus is a bizarre Wizardly creation involving a melding of the Octopus and the Rhino.  Why someone felt the need to do it is anyone's guess, but perhaps they thought it would make an interesting all terrain guardian.  It looks vaguely like a gelatinous octopoid shape with a larger than usual body, and a horned face.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Rhinoctopus successfully hits with it's tentacle attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it succeeds it may then use it's Rending Constriction.

Rending Constriction (Ex): If the Rhinoctopus successfully Grapples an opponent it squeezes him while goring it with it's horn simultaneously.  It does 3d6+6 piercing damage with a successful Grapple Check. 

Ink Cloud (Ex):  The Rhinoctopus can spew black ichor once per minute as a Free Action.  Underwater this creates a 20' by 20' by 20' cloud that provides total concealment and completely obscures vision.  Out of water it is a 10' ranged touch attack.  If it hits the opponent must make a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Dex Based) or be blinded for 1d6 rounds, or until he can spend a full round washing it from his eyes whichever occurs first.

Combat: Rhinoctopus are ambush predators waiting underneath the water for prey to come to drink.  If prey fails to appear, they can shimmy up onto land and try to chase it down, which can be a terrifying sight to anyone in the vicinity unused to their appearance.





Rhinoctopus
"Good evening, and welcome to Mutual of Gnomeahaw's Wild Kingdom! As always, I'm your host Harlan Jergens!  Today on Wild Kingdom Jim and I begin to regret the publication of Prak's book on monster making."

Someone Needs A Therapist

"Greetings from the castle moat of local wizard 'Fat Bob' Krushenheimer."

"What's the special of the day Jim?"

"Looks like Fat Bob has merged a rhinoceros with some sort of octopus."


High Weirdness

"So highly impractical then?"

"His argument is that it's highly disturbing appearance makes up for it."

"I suppose that's fair.  Does it do anything a regular giant octopus can?"

"Not much really.  I mean it has a horn it can pull targets onto, thus impaling them."

"That is a bit disturbing."

« Last Edit: May 29, 2022, 03:06:16 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #98 on: November 11, 2011, 10:19:26 PM »
The Perfect

The Perfect is an Acquired or Inherited Template that can be applied to any living, corporeal Humanoid.  The Perfect are a magical experiment gone wrong (do they ever go right?).  An attempt at making a super soldier, the experiment exposed various Humanoids to magical forces and alchemical poisons in an attempt to improve them.  Most of the subjects died. 

The survivors were examples of mental and physical perfection.  Emotionally...they were a different story.  Most were extremely narcissistic sociopaths, and a few were openly murderous.  And even worse, they bred true.  A Perfect Orc and an Orc made Perfect Orcs.  2 Perfect Orcs made a Perfect Orc with even more pronounced issues than usual. 

People quickly realized they might slaughter all the non-Perfect and eventually replace the rest with more of their own (Note: There's no proof of this, that was just the gut reaction of the nobility of the time.).  They were thought to be an extinction level event if they were allowed to spread.  So most governments declared them void from any protection via the laws, and declared them legal to openly murder.  This has not been as effective as they had supposed.  It hasn't eliminated The Perfect, but the bounty does keep their numbers down.  It also makes them just sympathetic enough to fool others into assisting them.  There are some renegade Clerics and like-minded individuals searching for a cure, but short of using a Wish spell, not much seems to work.  And there are enough Perfect that no one is willing to dole out that many Wishes. 

The Perfect resemble physically flawless members of their species.  Their giveaway is the face.  Their facial expression is always intimidating and off putting.  They also lack any filter, and are perfectly comfortable saying the most appalling, transgressive things.  The Perfect who do seek a cure are seeking it for these side effects of the process, but hope to keep their newfound abilities, which likely slows down the search for a cure.  They are stereotyped as being either BBRG's, or the Minions of such.

Size and Type: Unchanged.  Gains the Augmented Subtype.

Hit Dice: The Perfect have maximum hit points per hit die.

Speed: Unchanged.

Armor Class: Unchanged.

Attacks: Unchanged

Damage: Unchanged

Special Attacks: Unchanged.

Special Qualities: Retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature, and gains the following:

Monsters (Ex): All Perfect have serious emotional problems, and are unable to effectively interact with more mainstream members of their society or species because they loathe them.  The Perfect get a -4 Penalty on all Charisma Based skills (except Iaijutsu Focus, Intimidate and Use Magic Device), except when they are used on their own kind (i.e. other Perfect). 

Saves: Unchanged.

Abilities: All ability scores change to 18 plus any racial modifiers.

Skills: Unchanged.

Feats: Unchanged.

Environment: Unchanged.

Organization: Unchanged or Solitary.

Challenge Rating: +1

Treasure: Unchanged.

Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil.

Advancement: Unchanged

Level Adjustment: +2

Example of creature using template here:

Anastasia (Elf/Perfect, Level 10 Warmage)
                      Medium Humanoid (Elf, Augmented)
Hit Dice:             10d6+30 (90 hp)
Initiative:           +9
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+5 Dex), touch 15, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple:  +5/+9
Attack:               By weapon +9 melee or +10 ranged
Full Attack:          By weapon +9 melee or +10 ranged
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Warmage Edge (+5)
Special Qualities:    Immune to Sleep Effects, +2 on Saves vs Enchantment Spells, Low Light Vision, Elf Traits, Monsters, Armored Mage (Medium), Advanced Learning (Cuiding Light from Spell Compendium, Blade of Pain and Fear from Spell Compendium))
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +11
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 20, Con 16, Int 20, Wis 18, Cha 18*
Skills:               Bluff +9, Concentration +16, Hide +9, Intimidate +17, Knowledge (Arcana) +18, Listen +11, Profession (Killer) +6, Search +10, Spellcraft +18, Spot +11
Feats:                Combat Casting, Empower Spell, Improved Initiative, Maximize Spell, Sudden Empower (B), Sudden Enlarge (B)
Challenge Rating:     11
Alignment:            Neutral Evil
Level Adjustment:     +2

* Stats are 18 plus Racial Mods plus 2 for levels.

5E THE PERFECT
Any Humanoid can be made into the Perfect.

Challenge. Recalculate the Challenge Rating after you apply the template.

Hit Points. The base creature gains maximum hit points per Die.

Attributes. Base Creatures ability scores raise to 18, plus the appropriate modifiers.

Sociopaths. The base creature has Disadvantage on all Charisma based Skill Checks, other than Intimidate, against all non Perfect.




The Perfect
"There are tracks around the cages from humanoids.  This wasn't the Turkeys doing."

Experiments Gone Wrong

"Someone kidnapped my furbabies?!"

"Someone who clearly doesn't care about covering their tracks.  No worries sir, I'm a Ranger.  I'll find them."

"Who would want my pets?"

"Ah whole list of bad guys who have more ambition than sense.."

"Just sos you know, it's crushin' time when we find 'em."

"We'd feel the  same if someone had taken our pets."

"Is that a dead Elf?"

"A dead Elf with nibble marks...looks like your pets are resisting."


Infamously Murdery

"Naw, those ain't mine.  They'd have finished eating."

"Maybe they didn't get the chance."

"Why is he smiling though?"

"Yeah, that worries me..."
« Last Edit: November 26, 2023, 05:50:25 PM by bhu »

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Re: Jesters Realm Critters
« Reply #99 on: November 11, 2011, 10:29:02 PM »
THE BASSET FOLK


   
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."

 The Basset Folk are humanoid Basset Hounds roughly the size of halflings.  They are a fairly laid back folk, and don't see why most of the other races are always in a hurry or get so emotional over inconsequential things.

BASSET FOLK RACIAL TRAITS
·   +2 Int and Wis, -2 Str
·   Size Class: Small.  +1 Size Bonus to Armor Class and Attack Rolls. +4 Size Bonus to Hide Checks. -4 Size Penalty to Bull Rush, Grapple, Overrun, and Trip Checks. Lifting and Carrying Limits are half those of a Medium character.
·   Type: Monstrous Humanoid, giving them 60 ft. Darkvision
·   Base land speed 20 ft.
·   Scent (Ex): Identical to the ability listed in the Monster Manual.
. Carnivore (Ex): Basset Folk are purely carnivorous, and can only consume meat. While this heavily limits their diet they can go twice as long as normal before having to make checks for starvation as they have had to live through some lean times because of it.
·   Basset Folk have a Primary Bite Attack doing 1d3 plus one and a half times their Strength Modifier.
·   Basset Folk receive a +4 Racial Bonus to Listen and Spot Checks.
·   Basset Folk receive a Improved Scent (see Savage Species) and Track as Bonus Feats.
·    Basset Folk automatically speak Furry, and Common.  Bonus languages include Feathery, Sylvan, and nearby races.
·   Level Adjustment: +0
·   Favored Class: Scout

STARTING AGE
 Adulthood: 14
 Barbarian, Rogue, Sorcerer: +1d4
 Bard, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger: +1d6
 Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard: +2d6

AGING EFFECTS
 Middle Age: 30
 Old: 45
 Venerable: 60
 Maximum Age: +2d10 years

HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
 Base Height: Male: 3'0"  Female: 2'10"
 Height Modifier: +2d4"
 Base Weight: Male: 40 lbs.   Female: 35 lbs.
 Weight Modifier: x1 lb.

BASSET FOLK CHARACTERS
 If you want an excellent Tracker (or at least a character based around perception), the Bassets are a good choice.  They make for good Scouts, Rangers, and Druids.
 Adventuring Race: Basset Folk are kind of laid back, so generally they go on adventures because they need money, help, or revenge.  Particularly revenge.  Never cross the Bassets.
 Character Development: Basset Folk are a rural hunting society, and their initial class choices generally reflect this.  Most of their available training comes in the form of some sort of wilderness based class, or maybe just fighting.  Arcane classes, particularly of the flashier sort, are rare among them.
 Character Names: Male: Abner, Abraham, Caleb, Elijah, Ephraim, Ezekiel, Hezikiah, Ichabod, Isaac, Jedediah, Jeremiah, Joshua, Josiah, Lucas, Luther, Noah, Phineas, Silas, Zadoc. Female: Abigail, Agnes, Alice, Betsy, Charlotte, Delia, Emily, Esther, Eunice, Harriet, Heather, Josephine, Judith, Lavinia, Louise, Martha, Mary, Priscilla, Sarah.  Surnames: Surnames are generally what your family does for a living.  For example if your first name is Emily, and your family are trappers, your full name might be Emily Trapsmith.

ROLEPLAYING A BASSET FOLK
 People tend to believe your dumb because you came from the woods and backwaters.  You can sometimes use this to your advantage, but usually it just pisses you off.  You don't judge people based on their appearance or background and you's like the favor returned.
 Personality: Basset Hounds enjoy the good things in life: food, booze, friends, and family.  They're laid back enough to ignore a lot of insults as they don't wish to leave behind the quiet life.  But they rarely forget insults, and cross them often enough that they finally lose their temper, and they'll track you to the ends of the earth. 
 Behaviors: Basset Folk like huntin', drinkin', lovin', and playin' (not always in that order).  Think of them as good natured hillbillies with some common sense and without the xenophobia.
 Language: Like most of the Furry races, the Basset Folk speak Furry.

BASSET FOLK SOCIETY
 The closest real world culture to that of the Basset Folk is the North American Appalachian Mountains culture.  They aren't quite as racist or xenophobic as the Appalachians are stereotyped as being.  The Bassets are open and friendly as long as you don't cause trouble.  If you do they'll ask you to move along or quiet yourself politely.  Once.  If they think you're a danger to the community, they'll personally boot you out. 
 Alignment : Bassets tend to follow the rules and help those in need, thusly the majority of them are either Lawful or Neutral Good.  Truly Evil or Chaotic members of society are usually exiled or imprisoned.
 Lands : Most Basset Folk live in the extreme backwoods, usually in Temperate Forests, Hills, or Mountains.
 Settlements : If Bassets are forced to settle or relocate, they prefer areas similar to where they already live, although they will settle in Cold as opposed to Temperate, or in Marshes if they have too.
 Beliefs : The Basset Folk tend to be devoutly religious.  In my campaign they tend to worship the Nature and Furry Pantheons, and in other campaigns will likely do something similar.
 Relations: The Basset Folk tend to be open and accepting.  This means they don't judge people, it doesn't mean they trust them without them having proven themselves.  They prefer races living in rural areas as they tend to respect nature more, and tend to be less corrupt than big city folk (and in the Bassets defense most of the large cities near them are pretty much dens of thievery).

BASSET FOLK ADVENTURES
·   An old friend who moved to the city has been murdered.  His family has asked yours for help in bringing his murderer to justice.  Time to fetch the crossbows.
·   Hunting has grown scarce.  Something seems to be scaring off all the game, and the kids swear they hear noises outside the fort at night.  TIme you went investigatin'.
·   A small but royally ______ off deity has ordered you to help him in his quest for revenge against a really bullying Pit Fiend.  He needs you to sniff out The Codpiece of Reckoning in order to bring the Fiend to Heel.  You just know you ain't gonna like this job...


BASSET FOLK RACIAL SUBSTITUTION LEVELS


Ranger
 Level 1: Replace Track with Uncanny Sent
  Uncanny Scent (Ex): The Basset gains Uncanny Scent (see Savage Species) as a bonus Feat.
 Level 2, 6, 11: Gain additional option with Combat Style
  Combat Style (Ex): In addition to the usual options the Basset Folk gain an additional path they can take with their Combat Mastery: Dawg.  Bassets choosing Dawg as their Combat Style get the following Bonus Feats: Vexing Flanker (Level 2), Adaptable Flanker (Level 6), and Wolfpack (Level 11, see Races of Wild).


Barbarian
 Level 1: Replace Rage with Hound Rage
  Hound Rage (Ex): Instead of the normal benefits of Rage you gain the following: You do not take Size Penalties when making Opposed Combat Checks, and Opposed Combat Checks you make do not Provoke Attacks of Opportunity.  You may also fight and act normally at -1 to -9 hit points.
 Level 11: Replace Greater Rage with Greater Hound Rage
  Greater Hound Rage (Ex): When Raging you now get a +2 Circumstance Bonus when Flanking opponents or making Opposed Combat Checks.
 Level 20: Replace Mighty Rage with Mighty Hound Rage
  Mighty Hound Rage (Ex): The Bonus you get during Rage now increases to +4.


BASSET FOLK FEATS



Basselope
You were born different...
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Must be taken at 1st level
 Benefits: You were born with small deer antlers.  You cast spells whose Save DC is based on your Wisdom Modifier at +1 caster level.  This stacks with other effects that increase caster Level.


Greater Basselope
You were really born different...
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Basselope
 Benefits: Spells your opponents cast whose Save DC is based on Wisdom are cast upon you at -1 Caster Level.


Mystic Tracking
You can track even opponents who can hide themselves magically
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Must be able to cast 1st level Arcane or Divine Spells or Manifest 1st level Powers
 Benefits: You may track opponents who may not normally be tracked by non-magical means such as opponents under the influence of a Pass Without Trace spell or the Trackless Step ability.


Improved Mystic Tracking
You aren't easy to full with Illusion and Invisibility.
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Mystic Tracking, Wis 13+
 Benefits: You gain a +2 Resistance Bonus against Illusion (Figment) spells, and Invisible opponents do not get their +2 Bonus to Attack rolls against you.


Wolf Bite
You have learned to bring prey to the ground with your Bite attack,
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Weapon Focus (Bite)
 Benefits: If you successfully hit with your Bite Attack you immediately get a Trip Attack as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If the Trip fails your opponents does not get an attempt to trip you in return if using this Feat.


Follow Up
You have learned to follow up with an additional attack once knocking your prey to the ground.
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Wolf's Bite
 Benefits: If you successfully Trip an opponent or knock him Prone, you immediately get an Attack of Opportunity.


Dawg's Bite
Your Bite is unusually hard to dislodge.
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Wolf's Bite
 Benefits: You do Bite damage with your Grapple Checks, and get a +2 Circumstance Bonus to maintain Grapple Checks and damage rolls made in a Grapple.


Hamstring Bite
You can bite low to hobble opponents.
 Prerequisites: Basset Folk, Wolf's Bite
 Benefits: If you successfully Bite an opponent you can choose to do no damage, and instead choose up to two different Movement rates he possesses.  Those rates are reduced by -10'.