Author Topic: Best Doofus Moment?  (Read 3424 times)

Offline Prak

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Best Doofus Moment?
« on: December 20, 2014, 04:49:39 AM »
(I just have the sodes as mp3s in my library, they come on through shuffle all the time)

Ok, so I know we're supposed to avoid them, but does anyone else have Doofus Moments they're actually sort of proudshamed of?

My best Doofus moment happened in a 3.5 game. The GM was dusting off a campaign from his earliest days in 1st ed, so this thing was chock full of traps that were just this side of Gygaxian. He also has this thing where he allows players to request "Bennies," special stuff that doesn't have to fit the rules as such, whatever they want. Some players ask for a special item to help them better fit the concept they have in their mind, others just want more gold to spend, others want a special familiar, whatever. When things were especially powerful for our level, basically we paid for them with "plot-debt," which is to say, it would draw trouble to us.

So our rogue requested some awesome suit of armour of some sort. I'm not sure what exactly, because we only had to clear things with the DM, not the group. I had decided to play a cleric of Apollo, and wanted a magic bow. Nothing necessarily too powerful, but I was aiming at the Cleric Archer build, and didn't want to have to worry about making sure I had a level appropriate bow. I think what I requested was along the lines of a bow that always had an enhancement bonus of 1/3 my level, and fired light arrows. So no need to worry about ammo, no need to worry about keeping my bow at the most powerful thing available.

Anyway, the rogue player had basically been doing everything possible to focus the spotlighton himself. He's the type of guy who treats the game as his own sole plaything and to hell with other people's fun (he was a friend of mine, and I saw him in many games, he did this a lot). So he basically blew up his armour, attracting the demon he stole it from in backstory, stole some giant gem or something, and basically just grabbed the spotlight by it's flaps and smashed it against his junk. Needless to say, by the time we got to the field of traps outside the dungeon that was supposed to be his time to shine, people were getting pretty irritated, but it's traps, it's the rogue's thing, so we let him set to start making a safe way through the nearly-literal minefield of uber-traps. Until he got to one that he accidentally set off, and got caught in ropes. Another failed disable device check and the ropes became razor wire. A third and they came alight with flame.

None of us can do squat from the edge of the pit, and he has to stay very, very still still as he tried to extricate himself or find some way to reach the giant red "probably reset button" at the bottom.

Everyone was well past pissed at the spotlight hog, and the game session was rapidly running off time as we stood around with our thumbs up our asses and watched the rogue try to fix his fuck up.

At least half an hour passed, all the while with me thinking about how I could probably hit the button with an arrow, before I literally said aloud "Sun cleric bored now! I fire my bow at the button."

Now, fortunately it actually was a reset button and not the "frappe" setting.

Later players would actually complain to the DM about this player and the DM would have to talk to him about the spotlight stealing. If you were to ask me today, I would maintain that this was more about jerking the spotlight away from its place chained to the rogue's crotch, but there's not a lot of difference between that and grabbing it for oneself.