In Game Quotes for Classes.

[Satori]

"You must have missed the fact that I have a parrot." - My bard, after an enemy foolishly taunts the party, as he is escaping at 1 HP. and the party has no actions to stop him.

[radionausea]

Kudos for that.  I don't think I'd normally find it that funny but for some reason in my tired state I just tittered for 5 minutes.

[zugschef]

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a Sorcerer, not a Wizard!"  The Sorcerer, to any challenge his spells are not prepared for

haha

The cleric: "He's dead, Jim."

[SorO_Lost]

"A minute is all I need..." ~ Swiftblade on what we hope is combat.

[Bastian]

Exiern's comments section had a great one for pyromancers: Veni vidi igne [loosely translates as, "I came, I saw, I burninated."]

<latin nerding>Not quite, igne is the ablative form of a noun. Thus it is more appropriately "I came, I saw, from fire" which really doesn't make sense. Immolāvī would be a more appropriate word though not the only one since there are several latin words for "to burn" or some variant of that. Immolare (the infinitive form of Immolavi) specifically means to immolate or to sacrifice (especially by fire). Note that each word in the phrase is a first person singular active perfect verb.</latin nerding>

[Amechra]

Hey, I was copying it verbatim; I'm taking Latin at the moment, and left the grammatical mistake in as a sort of joke.

Plus, my preferred version is "Veni, vidi, igne cum amore!"

Unless I mistyped that, it comes out to, "I came, I saw, [Ignan Accent]From fire with love![/Ignan Accent]"

And of course there is an Ignan accent; it sounds like our vocal cords are on fire.

[nijineko]

The party walks into a room; sees a skeleton, a djinn, and an elf looking at a human woman on the ground. She appears dead.

The djinn says, "Well, Bones? How is she?"

The skeleton answers, "She's dead, Djinn."

The elf comments, quirking a single eyebrow, "Fascinating."

The party discovered this underground cavern with some magical jewels that confer some permanent magical ability to a masterwork weapon, flaming, frost, or shock, iirc.

The one player wanted to enhance his monk's unarmed strike. When the DM inquired if a monk's unarmed strike counted as a masterwork weapon, the player replied unhesitatingly with a completely straight face:

"My entire body is a masterwork weapon!"


[metagaming background] the player in question is a chubby, balding, middle-aged guy. After a pregnant pause, he realized the implications.... [/metaqaming background]

[ConBrio]

My characters mostly speak in sexual innuendo regardless of class.

[Sevash]

Our group from some years back used to keep a list of notable quotes, which quickly was named after my character, an reasonably-optimized Healer.  Some of the more notable quotes from "Doctor Cel Estingel's Rules of Conduct and Etiquette" were:

"Don't eat things that you've stepped in."  --After our party rogue stepped in a pile of brown mold and decided the best course of action was to take his boot off and lick the sole.

"Let me use the bag of snakes."  --When affected by a hallucinogen, it's reasonable to think that the party healer may in fact not be trying to wrap diamondbacks around your face.

"Rosco, stop that."  --Rosco was the name of our party rogue.

"Hello, bucket gnome."  --After a night of heavy drinking and fornicating, having a party member who doesn't need to bend over to hold your hair back as you're puking into a bucket is nigh-indispensible.

"TAKE THE NAILS."  --The only reasonable step to take after you've taken everything that isn't nailed down.

[Jackinthegreen]

Barbarian: "Is he poking them with his magical butterknife again?"
Fighter/Kensai and party leader "He's poking them with his butterknife again."

Talking about my cleric, who was fond of using empowered Spiritual Weapon.

[daisuke]

playing a paranoid and sheltered whisper gnome that was forced into the open world

me "what's it made of, this food you call pizza...?"
Warrior "Gnomes...*laughs diabolically*"

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"Could you please tell your pet to stop munching on me?" - Me as Half fiend talking to a Goblin Squig Herder.

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Vampire party member: "whats wrong with my coffin?" (while still inside of it)
Me: "I nailed it shut, then glued the edges and set it on fire.....you don't mind do you?"

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Powerful old Wizard grants us each a wish.
Wood Elf party member "oeh, oeh...I want the power to summon camels"

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me: "what are you doing"
rest of party: "we are going to see if this portal is save by throwing you in there"

[Kethrian]

My half-elf cleric of Obad-Hai loved to tease the dwarf barbarian.  Favourite and most-used quote?  "One, two, more than two..."  (barb player was slow at adding his damage up...)

He also called all dwarves "Stunty", often to their faces.  Never called halflings or gnomes that, just dwarves.  Somehow, he was still the barb's best friend, even after the dwarf turned evil from a suit of demonic fullplate, while my cleric was NG.  I think it was mostly due to all the healing I had to use to keep him alive...