Author Topic: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another  (Read 3193 times)

Offline mthor

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Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« on: November 24, 2013, 12:15:59 AM »
Warning: Below is a wall of text that pretty much encapsulates all of my troubles, minor though they may be. If you do not want to see a huge rant about my problems and maybe offer some advice ( or just laugh at me, totally cool with that as well =P) please don’t bother to read it. If you troubles are worse than I am truly sorry. One more thing, someone in this story frequents this forums and I would prefere if you didn’t read this. Let me assure you that I am not mad and I just want to talk to somebody who I will never have to deal with IRL. So if you know my as Thor then this isn’t for you.

(click to show/hide)
P.S. Sorry about spelling and grammar. As a dyslexic engineering student I rarely bother with them beyond a formal report.
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Offline bhu

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2013, 02:38:54 AM »
Being the last person to know is hardly unusual.  Nobody wants to be the one to tell you.

Offline Dkonen

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2013, 12:07:03 PM »
Honestly-I'd be a little weirded out for awhile and very confused. Disappointed and sad, feeling rather left out. Probably like you are.

Do understand a low sex drive can still hit moments of...peak...suddenly, it's just quite a bit more rare than higher drives. Given that it sounds like you still want to be part of this group, I'd suggest ignoring it until you feel up to talking to either about it. Obviously you're upset about it, and you know you're upset, but you don't want to lose what you had. So, spend that pent up energy in getting it back. Hang out with your friends, mend fences, build bridges, go and do stuff with them.

From all you say, this group of friends is important to you, despite what happened. You're angry at her and him for going behind your back... perhaps even more at her than him, which, if you'll understand, that's probably a remnant of the frat mentality. There's more to it than what you're seeing, and once you're ready to ask (out of curiousity not out of anger or disappointment), do so. If they're as accepting and understanding as you think, they'll answer.

I can't say I agree with your ultimatum about sex in a relationship-especially since stress can drive even the strongest sex drives to almost nothing (and with her school work it sounds like that may have happened), but I don't know how old you are. Sex has different meanings and yes, age does influence it, not to mention the definition of "relationship". It doesn't sound like it was something serious you were after, otherwise the relationship would have been less centered around sex and more around the person and having them around. That's not a judgement, just an observation.

All in all, your friendships seem more important than any of the rest of this, so I'd suggest concentrating on that first and the rest will fall into place, be it via time and perspective, talk, or just happenstance. If you really need to blow off some steam, may I suggest trashing some boxes in an empty car lot? Throwing glass bottles or cheap dollar store plates? Smashing stuff often helps, and you can't always be fortunate enough to have to help renovate-tearing down walls with a sledgehammer (highly therapeutic).
I wouldn't always have to be right if so many people didn't insist on always being wrong.

Offline Amechra

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2013, 06:13:04 PM »
Dkonen types words of wisdom.

Just accept that things are in the past, and see if they can too.
"There is happiness for those who accept their fate, there is glory for those that defy it."

"Now that everyone's so happy, this is probably a good time to tell you I ate your parents."

Offline mthor

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2013, 08:08:32 PM »
From all you say, this group of friends is important to you, despite what happened. You're angry at her and him for going behind your back... perhaps even more at her than him, which, if you'll understand, that's probably a remnant of the frat mentality.
Meh. I am a pretty level headed dude and this is what passes for rage for me, a strongly worded internet post.
If you really need to blow off some steam, may I suggest trashing some boxes in an empty car lot? Throwing glass bottles or cheap dollar store plates? Smashing stuff often helps, and you can't always be fortunate enough to have to help renovate-tearing down walls with a sledgehammer (highly therapeutic).
Definitely not to that point. I'm would have no problem with them having sex or dating. I am just a little confused as to how she went from me.... to someone who is very like me.
I can't say I agree with your ultimatum about sex in a relationship-especially since stress can drive even the strongest sex drives to almost nothing (and with her school work it sounds like that may have happened), but I don't know how old you are. Sex has different meanings and yes, age does influence it, not to mention the definition of "relationship". It doesn't sound like it was something serious you were after, otherwise the relationship would have been less centered around sex and more around the person and having them around. That's not a judgement, just an observation.
Early 20's for both of us. So yeah I am mostly looking for someone that makes me happy in a relationship rather then a life partner. And to be fair I did spend about 7 months almost never seeing her or talking to her.


Being the last person to know is hardly unusual.  Nobody wants to be the one to tell you.
That is very true. I just like privacy and being the last person to know about something that effects me is really annoying.

Dkonen types words of wisdom.

Just accept that things are in the past, and see if they can too.
Word. I am working on that. Actually this is more therapeutic then anything else. I will have no problems here but its one of those things where the fact she ends up sleeping with the guy I would usually talk to, so it ends up keeping me out of the loop. Also who is Dkonen?
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Offline Amechra

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2013, 09:28:14 PM »
The poster who always writes an essay in response to people's problems. Only person who has posted in this thread other than you, bhu, and myself.
"There is happiness for those who accept their fate, there is glory for those that defy it."

"Now that everyone's so happy, this is probably a good time to tell you I ate your parents."

Offline mthor

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2013, 09:45:02 PM »
Damn I am sorry dude. That makes me feel like an air head.
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Offline Dkonen

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2013, 03:19:57 PM »
LOL

for both the essay comment and the apologies.

I suppose I do write a great deal, but I like to try and explore things and give full answers. Life is hard enough as it is.

Also-English Major and part time amateur therapist to those in need.  :P
I wouldn't always have to be right if so many people didn't insist on always being wrong.

Offline mthor

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2013, 07:10:51 PM »
LOL

for both the essay comment and the apologies.

I suppose I do write a great deal, but I like to try and explore things and give full answers. Life is hard enough as it is.

Also-English Major and part time amateur therapist to those in need.  :P
English Major, =P Engineering Major here.  The weird thing is that I am usually the amature therapist, but I dont do it in writing.
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Offline Amechra

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2013, 08:22:41 PM »
Did I say your essays were a bad thing?

At least you can act as therapist; I'm a CS major and all I'm good for is getting concepts across.  :lmao
"There is happiness for those who accept their fate, there is glory for those that defy it."

"Now that everyone's so happy, this is probably a good time to tell you I ate your parents."

Offline Dkonen

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2013, 01:35:29 AM »
My father's an engineer, so I know the life. Ended up married to the son of an engineer who started with CS.

So I get a lot of the how to break things down/put it back together and my arts/humanities makes that extend to people.

Oh and my mother's a geriatric nurse, so that applies to the physical side too.

And everyone where I grew up did some backyard mechanics work, so I know my way around a wrench and v8 too :P

I am ..eclectic. And wordy :P

... but there's so much *stuff*! ...seriously I'm like a kid in a candy store over new issues and problems and ideas.

..
..

Probably why I'm typing this at 2:30am ... brain won't stop.  :banghead

Ah well at least there's lovely company.  :D
I wouldn't always have to be right if so many people didn't insist on always being wrong.

Offline mthor

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Re: Sex: a rant about my personal life from one PC to another
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2013, 03:00:25 AM »
Did I say your essays were a bad thing?

At least you can act as therapist; I'm a CS major and all I'm good for is getting concepts across.  :lmao
Acually, I usually have a hard time understanding CS majors. It is almost as if they are speaking a different language.  :lmao
My father's an engineer, so I know the life. Ended up married to the son of an engineer who started with CS.

So I get a lot of the how to break things down/put it back together and my arts/humanities makes that extend to people.

Oh and my mother's a geriatric nurse, so that applies to the physical side too.

And everyone where I grew up did some backyard mechanics work, so I know my way around a wrench and v8 too :P

I am ..eclectic. And wordy :P

... but there's so much *stuff*! ...seriously I'm like a kid in a candy store over new issues and problems and ideas.

..
..

Probably why I'm typing this at 2:30am ... brain won't stop.  :banghead

Ah well at least there's lovely company.  :D

I am typeing this at 2 am. So indeed good company. At least I have I a good excuse because I just got back from the Dr. Who 50th anniversary 3D movie edition thingy.
good old dependable sexy