The Small Rants Thread, Continued...

[X-Codes]

First, let me explain.  I have conversations with myself internally, I've always been like this.  Sometimes I'm consciously in control of both sides, sometimes I (for lack of a better term) talk to my subconscious and it just throws unexpected responses at me and I don't really have control over the direction of the conversation.

Sometimes I don't have anything like this at all.  Sometimes I feel like my head is the Taiwanese Legislature: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g10PAsvZFoQ

[Jackinthegreen]

My dislike of missionaries is being put to the test.  As I've mentioned, I was raised as a Mormon.  Around about 11 or 12 I stopped going to church.  'Round about 16 or 17 I had thought enough about religion and such to form my own opinion and not go with what was spoon fed to me.  At the moment I'm living with my grandparents, who are Mormon.  My dad (who is not Mormon either) also lives here, and we'll be taking care of them in their last few years.  It's their house, thus I can't tell the missionaries to bugger off.  In fact, I'm not sure whether I can even say I don't want to see them.

Losing sleep over it.

Do what I did.  Find a local video store that rents hardcore porn and find the most disturbing all male gay porn you can find.  Cue it up to one of the 'good bits' on a day you know they'll be dropping by, and wait.  Invite them in, set them down, crank the sound, press play, and proceed to act as if nothing unusual is happening.  You will never see them again.


Wait till the grandparents are gone or something.

 

I wish it could work like that.  Sadly, even if my grandparents were out they'd hear about it and I can guarantee they wouldn't be amused.  If you mean "gone" as in "deceased" then I wouldn't have any problems telling them to GTFO.

[ShadowViper]

There's a van parked on my fucking driveway.  I don't know who's van it is.  The workmen next door deny it is there's.  It's blocking the way into my back garden so I've had to bring my bike in through the house - my housemates will have to do the same.  I'm going out in a minute so I can't even wait around to see who's van it is and have it out with them.  Might just let their tyres down...

Have it Towed.

[Kuroimaken]

Freaking Greenpeace taking over my usual route to work. One of them actually stopped me today. Fed me a line about a soccer field-sized area of the Amazon Rainforest being consumed every minute. I told her I had neither the time nor the money to contribute. And then I started mulling in my head...

An international regulations soccer field has a total area of 7140 square meters. In order to eat up such an area in one minute, the flames would need to be able to spread at a rate of 1,9833333 meters per second, or 7,1399988 kilometers per hour. Which while not that fast, would mean there is a constant, raging wildfire in the freaking Amazon Rainforest at all times. But let's assume they're right for a second.

It'd take 980392 minutes for the entire Amazon Rainforest to burn out. A day has 1440 minutes. In other words, if Greenpeace is right, the Rainforest would be consumed within approximately 680 days (assuming it has roughly 7 million square kilometers' worth of area).

Except they've been pulling this on us since 2009.

[Sinfire Titan]

Freaking Greenpeace taking over my usual route to work. One of them actually stopped me today. Fed me a line about a soccer field-sized area of the Amazon Rainforest being consumed every minute. I told her I had neither the time nor the money to contribute. And then I started mulling in my head...

An international regulations soccer field has a total area of 7140 square meters. In order to eat up such an area in one minute, the flames would need to be able to spread at a rate of 1,9833333 meters per second, or 7,1399988 kilometers per hour. Which while not that fast, would mean there is a constant, raging wildfire in the freaking Amazon Rainforest at all times. But let's assume they're right for a second.

It'd take 980392 minutes for the entire Amazon Rainforest to burn out. A day has 1440 minutes. In other words, if Greenpeace is right, the Rainforest would be consumed within approximately 680 days (assuming it has roughly 7 million square kilometers' worth of area).

Except they've been pulling this on us since 2009.

Well, you know what they say about statistics...

[Jackinthegreen]

Well, you know what they say about statistics...

One dead man is a tragedy, but a million is a statistic?

[X-Codes]

Freaking Greenpeace taking over my usual route to work. One of them actually stopped me today. Fed me a line about a soccer field-sized area of the Amazon Rainforest being consumed every minute. I told her I had neither the time nor the money to contribute. And then I started mulling in my head...

An international regulations soccer field has a total area of 7140 square meters. In order to eat up such an area in one minute, the flames would need to be able to spread at a rate of 1,9833333 meters per second, or 7,1399988 kilometers per hour. Which while not that fast, would mean there is a constant, raging wildfire in the freaking Amazon Rainforest at all times. But let's assume they're right for a second.

It'd take 980392 minutes for the entire Amazon Rainforest to burn out. A day has 1440 minutes. In other words, if Greenpeace is right, the Rainforest would be consumed within approximately 680 days (assuming it has roughly 7 million square kilometers' worth of area).

Except they've been pulling this on us since 2009.

2009?  I've been hearing similar things since way before then.

Also, things dying is totally natural.  Wildfires are likewise totally natural.  You hear about how all of California is on fire once every few years, but if you go there now you'll still find some pretty awesome forests.  It's all just part of a natural ecosystem, the fire is actually turning the dead stuff into fertilizer for everything else.  So, even if half the amazon burns down every year, it's apparently growing back during that time it's not on fire.

[Sinfire Titan]

2009?  I've been hearing similar things since way before then.

Also, things dying is totally natural.  Wildfires are likewise totally natural.  You hear about how all of California is on fire once every few years, but if you go there now you'll still find some pretty awesome forests.  It's all just part of a natural ecosystem, the fire is actually turning the dead stuff into fertilizer for everything else.  So, even if half the amazon burns down every year, it's apparently growing back during that time it's not on fire.

Well, it isn't exactly fire that is doing it. Greenpeace is usually complaining about trees being consumed for wood-based products. That said, the statistics are BS, and there are laws that mandate the companies deforesting for these products to plant new trees.

[bhu]

There's a van parked on my fucking driveway.  I don't know who's van it is.  The workmen next door deny it is there's.  It's blocking the way into my back garden so I've had to bring my bike in through the house - my housemates will have to do the same.  I'm going out in a minute so I can't even wait around to see who's van it is and have it out with them.  Might just let their tyres down...

Accuse them of being government employees violating your right to privacy.

[bhu]

 

I wish it could work like that.  Sadly, even if my grandparents were out they'd hear about it and I can guarantee they wouldn't be amused.  If you mean "gone" as in "deceased" then I wouldn't have any problems telling them to GTFO.

So answering naked with a gun in hand is out too then?  Dad pulled that one on the Jehovah's Witnesses.


In his defense they were peeping in the window when he was taking a shower.

[Jackinthegreen]

 

I wish it could work like that.  Sadly, even if my grandparents were out they'd hear about it and I can guarantee they wouldn't be amused.  If you mean "gone" as in "deceased" then I wouldn't have any problems telling them to GTFO.

So answering naked with a gun in hand is out too then?  Dad pulled that one on the Jehovah's Witnesses.


In his defense they were peeping in the window when he was taking a shower.

For the moment  being naked with a gun wouldn't work.  I'll keep that in mind for future incursions though!

I chatted with my dad and he said he'd heard plenty of stories where people would answer the door with an undone robe on and that sort of thing.

One of my favorites was a guy who had a plain as day sign on his property saying "No soliciting.  No RELIGIOUS soliciting."  Who of course should come by but a Jehovah's witness with her young daughter.  Guy answers the door calmly, the woman gives her shtick, and the guy asks "Tell me, what's your favorite verse?"  She gets excited at this possible interest and pulls out a bible, then the guy stops her.  "It's apparent you can read.  Read the fucking sign and get the fuck off my property!"

[Nanshork]

First, let me explain.  I have conversations with myself internally, I've always been like this.  Sometimes I'm consciously in control of both sides, sometimes I (for lack of a better term) talk to my subconscious and it just throws unexpected responses at me and I don't really have control over the direction of the conversation.

Sometimes I don't have anything like this at all.  Sometimes I feel like my head is the Taiwanese Legislature: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g10PAsvZFoQ

Luckily there are never more than two people in my head.   


It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has internal discussions like this.   

[dman11235]

Freaking Greenpeace taking over my usual route to work. One of them actually stopped me today. Fed me a line about a soccer field-sized area of the Amazon Rainforest being consumed every minute. I told her I had neither the time nor the money to contribute. And then I started mulling in my head...

An international regulations soccer field has a total area of 7140 square meters. In order to eat up such an area in one minute, the flames would need to be able to spread at a rate of 1,9833333 meters per second, or 7,1399988 kilometers per hour. Which while not that fast, would mean there is a constant, raging wildfire in the freaking Amazon Rainforest at all times. But let's assume they're right for a second.

It'd take 980392 minutes for the entire Amazon Rainforest to burn out. A day has 1440 minutes. In other words, if Greenpeace is right, the Rainforest would be consumed within approximately 680 days (assuming it has roughly 7 million square kilometers' worth of area).

Except they've been pulling this on us since 2009.

2009?  I've been hearing similar things since way before then.

Also, things dying is totally natural.  Wildfires are likewise totally natural.  You hear about how all of California is on fire once every few years, but if you go there now you'll still find some pretty awesome forests.  It's all just part of a natural ecosystem, the fire is actually turning the dead stuff into fertilizer for everything else.  So, even if half the amazon burns down every year, it's apparently growing back during that time it's not on fire.

Actually, California is even worse than that.  The redwoods actually rely on fire to reproduce, as the heat triggers the seeds to grow.  Not only that, but there's a beetle that only mates in the aftermath of a forest fire.  This beetle isn't a California exclusive thing though.

@SiFir: Legitimate woodcutting industry in North America (at least, maybe Europe too, not sure) is actually planting trees faster than they are cutting them down.  Not only that, but it takes more energy to recycle paper than it does to cut down more trees and turn them into paper.  The most efficient method of disposing of paper: compost (landfills work as compost, but you can't harvest the compost).  The only problem is the tree that's used for toilet paper, that one's actually in danger.

[Amechra]

First, let me explain.  I have conversations with myself internally, I've always been like this.  Sometimes I'm consciously in control of both sides, sometimes I (for lack of a better term) talk to my subconscious and it just throws unexpected responses at me and I don't really have control over the direction of the conversation.

Sometimes I don't have anything like this at all.  Sometimes I feel like my head is the Taiwanese Legislature: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g10PAsvZFoQ

Luckily there are never more than two people in my head.   


It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has internal discussions like this.   

Hey, I do it too! My friends get rather creeped out when I tell them that I had an hour long discussion with them yesterday...

[altpersona]

i think by consumed they mean logged or otherwise made not forest.

[X-Codes]

i think by consumed they mean logged or otherwise made not forest.

Which would be even weirder, because there's still a lot of forest there.

[Kuroimaken]

The cable that brings my computer internet connection from the office all the way to my room is starting to act weird. I called the phone company about installing a modem in my room and I learned that in order to do that I'd need a secondary phone line.

Therefore, the best connection spot IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN HOUSE remains at the office - even though there's no need for the most bandwidth to be there. My apartment was built in the 60's, so the walls are thick as hell - which means a Wi-Fi connection loses 60-70% of its signal strength before it gets to my room.

This sucks MAJOR balls.

[altpersona]

setup a repeater.

[veekie]

i think by consumed they mean logged or otherwise made not forest.

Which would be even weirder, because there's still a lot of forest there.

Its standard practice for all lobbying organizations to inflate their statistics because A) nobody checks or thinks it through B) people don't care unless its Big And Shocking

[radionausea]

The cable that brings my computer internet connection from the office all the way to my room is starting to act weird. I called the phone company about installing a modem in my room and I learned that in order to do that I'd need a secondary phone line.

Therefore, the best connection spot IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN HOUSE remains at the office - even though there's no need for the most bandwidth to be there. My apartment was built in the 60's, so the walls are thick as hell - which means a Wi-Fi connection loses 60-70% of its signal strength before it gets to my room.

This sucks MAJOR balls.

aren't ridiculously long cables are really cheap though?