Today I am drinking tea.
All of the tea.
Even yours.
That's okay, I have a collection of tea and my wife gets on to me because I don't even touch the stuff.
You must drink tea like a real man then. Eat trees whole, and drink it down with boiling water. This is the Eiji way.
Hang on, I thought that was the Kuro way?
Nah, I'm pretty sure Kuro shares the same tea drinking style of Ashley Williams, consume demonic duplicates of yourself then chug boiling water straight from the kettle.
We must go one step further.
I suggest we build a space elevator outside the coast of Brazil and start pumping water into the air in the form of a massive water droplet, using magnetics and superscience monopoles to keep it together. Then, we drop it on the Amazon rainforest. As the sphere of aquatic death descends, it will heat up to fantastic temperatures, which will only increase once it makes impact. The sheer force will vaporize the entire rainforest in a nuclear shockwave, mixing water and steam with leaves and turning most of South America into a giant teacup for the ultimate tea experience.
I am sure Kuroimaken will have no problems with his plan, and intends to enjoy the tea based terraforming and human extinction event to its fullest.
So I believe I shaved a few years off someone's life today.
I was at college. Needed to get to the computer lab (9th floor, I was in a hurry, so elevator it was for me). I buzz the elevator from one end of the wall, and an elevator arrives from the other end.
Now, see, courtesy is too 19th century for some people, and someone inside is frantically masturbating the close door button. I would, of course, have none of that shit.
So I jam my arm in between the elevator doors. Then I proceed to pry them open, Superman-style. (I briefly considered shouting "HEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY" into the crevice, but I was in a hurry, so no antics!) I get in the elevator, right next to the (very bug-eyed by now) person who, at that point, was still hitting the close door button.
