What class/build to play?

[DancingFish]

Run with a standard Bardblade or Bardsader (depending if you want more raw damage or some in-combat healing respectively) build with the Song of the White Raven.
Take your first level as a Crusader or Warblade, then go into Bard for two levels, re-enter the first class, go Bard for another two levels, then full-Initiator.
Final build looks like Initiator16/Bard4.
If you focus on optimizing numerical Inspire Courage bonus + the White Raven maneuvers you can easily make your whole party awesome(r).
The Leading The Charge/Leading the Attack maneuvers alone give your party a +4 to hit against the enemy "marked" by you, so you can offset the poor attack rolls a bit.

[Endarire]

+1 to Crusader of some form due to in-combat infinite healing.  And extra turns via White Raven Tactics.

[phaedrusxy]

Run with a standard Bardblade or Bardsader (depending if you want more raw damage or some in-combat healing respectively) build with the Song of the White Raven.
Take your first level as a Crusader or Warblade, then go into Bard for two levels, re-enter the first class, go Bard for another two levels, then full-Initiator.
Final build looks like Initiator16/Bard4.
If you focus on optimizing numerical Inspire Courage bonus + the White Raven maneuvers you can easily make your whole party awesome(r).
The Leading The Charge/Leading the Attack maneuvers alone give your party a +4 to hit against the enemy "marked" by you, so you can offset the poor attack rolls a bit.

If this is a slow leveling game, I think the payoff is going to come too late to even mess with a bard. Especially if s/he can swap out characters every 5 levels or so, I'd seriously just go with a martial (non-casting, etc) beatstick.

You could make a tripper crusader, though. It's not as easy as with a fighter or barbarian due to the feat crunch, but its certainly doable.  Hell, you might even go bardsader tripper, but you're going to suffer from MAD and be insanely feat-starved. I understand the temptation to go with something "interesting" and more viable in the long run, but in the early levels, it is really hard to beat a martial-focused tripper (at least at combat... if you want face skills, go with the half-elf bard ).

[Hades]

Let's say +2 to crusader.

Able to hit and deal damage, good even in "in combat healing" and white raven discipline grants a nice focus in "teamplay".

Even a crusader - cleric - ruby knight vindicator could be a great additon to any party.

[Reshy]

I think I'll go with a Martial Beatstick and then switch later on.  I was told by the DM that I can expect to be solo occasionally so that should be considered.  Right now the party is mostly fighting animals, goblins, and orcs;  None of which really can be the target of diplomacy-fu as far as I know.  Also when I asked the DM to describe what the homebrew location was like she said "Not what you'd expect" which is very vague and makes it painful to make a character for roleplay.

[Sjappo]

Totally unrelated advice: go easy on her.

Seriously. If this is her first time as a DM and you want her to keep doing this, play nice. Don't break the game, don't pull unexpected tricks. Be predictable. If and when she gets more experience she should be able to manage the more off character choices.

A bard played as a gish-in-a-can is good. Martial adepts are good, although I'd consider the crusader one of the most powerful options you could take on lvl 1.

[Mortadelas]

Don't go batman caster of any type.
There is no worse thing than losing a night's sleep to design a dungeon and have the wizard cast his way to the last room due to spells X,Y,Z you didn't know about.
The more experienced you are the worse class you should play to keep party balance.
If you are also new go trasmuter/conjourer if you are very experienced go monk (without the 1000 ways to increase unarmed).
Try to stay away from ToB or Psi unless your DM was exposed to them as a player.