Author Topic: Kuro's Improbable Tales  (Read 106115 times)

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #20 on: November 24, 2011, 11:21:38 PM »
It was the band that got me into Heavy Metal back when I was 18. I used to be really biased back then...
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Offline Monotremeancer

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #21 on: November 25, 2011, 03:40:52 AM »
Weren't we all in the beginning? I have a shamefully large collection of Dragonforce-stuff from when I was 14-16...
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #22 on: November 25, 2011, 07:44:24 AM »
I actually mean that I was biased AGAINST Heavy Metal. I would listen to the Star Wars soundtrack over and over and stuff my chest saying Heavy Metal was all noise.

As far as music goes, I was a real tool back then.
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #23 on: November 25, 2011, 03:30:03 PM »
I... may have emasculated a lion today.
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Offline Halinn

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #24 on: November 25, 2011, 05:18:27 PM »
I... think I really need to hear the details of that.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #25 on: November 26, 2011, 09:21:21 AM »
It went kinda like this.

Yesterday, I finished work early, and my boss was generous enough to give me the rest of the day off. I felt like doing something unusual and more outdoors-y than I'd normally do, so I went to the zoo. It had been YEARS since I'd last visited one.

I was surprised to find that apparently, my town's zoo now had lions. Seems they'd been caught in the wild and were going to be sold off when the guys at the IBAMA (Brazil's equivalent to the Environment Protection Agency or whatever the heck you guys have) busted the whole operation. Some of them were donated to the local zoo.

In any case, I'd never seen a lion in the flesh before. There were a bunch of children around the cage who were pretty fascinated with it.

I have no idea why, but the lion began to growl. Some of the children got scared and ran behind their respective parents. One of them began to cry. The lion began to get more aggitated, and started pacing back and forth in its cage. Which did precious little to calm the kids. Eventually, it roared and began trying to reach its claw out of the cage. It was pretty big, so the claw actually almost extended all the way to the spectator area. It roared again. Somebody called for the handlers.

At this point, I began to stare into its eyes and roared right back.

It wasn't as loud, of course - I don't have a lion's lungs - but it was deep, and it echoed. There was silence immediately afterwards, and I fixed my glare into the lion's eyes. We began the world's strangest staring contest. It began to arch its back as if ready to pounce at me. It showed its teeth, growling in the back of its throat. I did the same out of some strange, animalistic reaction, and took a step forward. The lion took a step back, and I took another step forward. It began to growl more loudly, and I roared at it again. The lion relaxed and stalked away, lying down with its neck towards me.

...when I came to, everybody was staring, and with good reason. The handlers said they'd seen other people manage to tame animals when they were aggravated before, but this was the first time they'd seen this particular method.
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #26 on: November 26, 2011, 03:36:48 PM »
 :clap ... Eye Of The Tiger, eh ?!
Bring the Lion a small treat the next time. He'll remember you.

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Offline sirpercival

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #27 on: November 26, 2011, 04:32:24 PM »
This is the greatest thread ever.
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #28 on: November 26, 2011, 05:00:10 PM »
:clap ... Eye Of The Tiger, eh ?!
Bring the Lion a small treat the next time. He'll remember you.

The Hand in The Bank , I didn't realize how susceptible that wrist position could be. Niice.

The Hostage of Emo ... I assume you have a good reason to Not have the girl's number.

The Sleep Work thing ... you might have been in Hypnagogia.

I do. She has a boyfriend. (Not the emo kid. Someone else. I didn't pry.)

EDIT: When I read that again, I can't help but think: Tiger > Lion?
« Last Edit: November 26, 2011, 05:04:47 PM by Kuroimaken »
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Offline ariasderros

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #29 on: November 26, 2011, 05:07:34 PM »
Quote from: DonQuixote
Kuro, some days, you make me want to found a religion.

Quote from: sirpercival
This is the greatest thread ever.

This is the greatest religion ever. Seriously, I knew Kuro was made of awesome, I didn't know just how much.
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #30 on: November 26, 2011, 05:22:58 PM »
You flatter me. I'm just a regular guy to whom crazy awesome shit happens who's lucky enough to survive all of 'em.
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Offline Halinn

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #31 on: November 26, 2011, 06:22:42 PM »
You flatter me. I'm just a regular guy to whom crazy awesome shit happens who's lucky enough to survive all of 'em.

What you do is quite beyond surviving in it. You seem to thrive.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #32 on: November 26, 2011, 06:39:37 PM »
The compliments I get after I tell of those DO help.  ;)
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Offline ariasderros

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #33 on: November 26, 2011, 06:55:15 PM »
You flatter me. I'm just a regular guy to whom crazy awesome shit happens who's lucky enough to survive all of 'em.

What you do is quite beyond surviving in it. You seem to thrive.

Agreed. Your life would be turned into a Wu Xia movie. Staring down lions, kicking people with knives (the third mistake), being more productive than your co-workers in your sleep (LITERALLY), et alli.
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #34 on: November 26, 2011, 07:28:26 PM »
Knowing my luck, bad things would happen the second I began to try to use it to my advantage somehow.  :P
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Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #35 on: December 06, 2011, 04:21:41 PM »

 :pout ... 10 days without another 7 sigma event, eh?


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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #36 on: December 07, 2011, 09:10:57 AM »
I guess I may be running out of awesome.

Sides, you guys don't seem surprised to hear of my kicking the snot out of anyone anymore.  :P
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Offline Risada

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #37 on: December 07, 2011, 09:22:13 AM »
I guess I may be running out of awesome.

Sides, you guys don't seem surprised to hear of my kicking the snot out of anyone anymore.  :P

That's the least we expect from you.

Maybe your next tale could involve you and a high number of girls  :plot

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #38 on: December 07, 2011, 09:26:33 AM »
I would first need to find a high number of girls I want to be involved with.

I know. I'm picky.
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Offline InnaBinder

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #39 on: December 07, 2011, 09:42:43 AM »
I guess I may be running out of awesome.

Sides, you guys don't seem surprised to hear of my kicking the snot out of anyone anymore.  :P

That's the least we expect from you.

Maybe your next tale could involve you and a high number of girls  :plot
Why would you want to hear about Kuro kicking the snot out of a high number of girls?  :???
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