Kuro's Improbable Tales

[nijineko]

is that a tellable tale? perhaps if stripped of excessive detail and squish? i'd be interested in the psycho-social angles and mental processes.

[Kuroimaken]

Nah, it was mostly me being a good listener and figuring out what she wanted to hear.

[nijineko]

so many fall for that. and not just girls either... humans in general.

[Kuroimaken]

It doesn't matter who you are, you always tend to sympathize with someone who gives you the time of day. No one complains about a conversation where they did a fair amount of talking.

[ariasderros]

It doesn't matter who you are, you always tend to sympathize with someone who gives you the time of day. No one complains about a conversation where they did a fair amount of talking.

Incorrect. I very often feel like I talk too much, even when other do not feel like I did.

But I get your point, and do agree with it.

[Kuroimaken]

It doesn't matter who you are, you always tend to sympathize with someone who gives you the time of day. No one complains about a conversation where they did a fair amount of talking.

Incorrect. I very often feel like I talk too much, even when other do not feel like I did.

But I get your point, and do agree with it.

Which can itself be an interesting topic of conversation.

[ariasderros]

Which can itself be an interesting topic of conversation.

A self-conscious schizophrenic?
No, that isn't an interesting topic to shinks at all. < sarcasm.

But in any case, I have just one question on the topic of you getting the ladies: have you tried to will a perfect one into being yet?

Because I'm betting you could go all kinds of Weird Science if you wanted to.

[Kuroimaken]

More times than I could count.

Unfortunately, I don't know if I've ever succeeded, because I can't teleport people to my side yet. Plus it's technically not socially acceptable to wear cosplay to your regular work. Unless your regular work IS cosplay.

[Agita]

Unfortunately, I don't know if I've ever succeeded, because I can't teleport people to my side yet. Plus it's technically not socially acceptable to wear cosplay to your regular work. Unless your regular work IS cosplay.

Aren't you technically cosplaying as a dude in a suit every time?

[Bozwevial]

Unfortunately, I don't know if I've ever succeeded, because I can't teleport people to my side yet. Plus it's technically not socially acceptable to wear cosplay to your regular work. Unless your regular work IS cosplay.

Aren't you technically cosplaying as a dude in a suit every time?

He also is a dude in a suit. The cosplayer becomes the cosplay?

[Kuroimaken]

Unfortunately, I don't know if I've ever succeeded, because I can't teleport people to my side yet. Plus it's technically not socially acceptable to wear cosplay to your regular work. Unless your regular work IS cosplay.

Aren't you technically cosplaying as a dude in a suit every time?

I was referring to the girls. Besides, I don't wear a suit to work.

[DonQuixote]

Unfortunately, I don't know if I've ever succeeded, because I can't teleport people to my side yet. Plus it's technically not socially acceptable to wear cosplay to your regular work. Unless your regular work IS cosplay.

Aren't you technically cosplaying as a dude in a suit every time?

By that logic, I cosplay as a normal person when I go to work.  It's on my free time that I wear vests, jackets, and top hats.

[Nanshork]

I wish I could find a place to buy reasonably priced top hats.

[Kuroimaken]

I wish I could find a place to buy good hats, period. Can't find a decent fedora in this town.

[DonQuixote]

I wish I could find a place to buy reasonably priced top hats.

I got them here.

[Nanshork]

I wish I could find a place to buy reasonably priced top hats.

I got them here.

Ahh, I know them.

Let me rephrase.  I wish I could find a place to buy affordable top hats.   

[Kuroimaken]

I'm not even sure how to get started on this one.

Let's see... it's been raining, hard, the last few days. Today the rain finally let up, but there's a pretty stiff wind out there. Supposedly 80 km/h winds.

So I'm on my way back from work. Enjoying the breeze. Listening to music.

And what do you know. It turns out scumbags talk to each other. And have feelings. I run into what I shall henceforth dub the Scuzzy Four. One of them is a guy I kicked in the throat once. Good times.

Anyway, they have knifes and clubs and stuff. They figure they can take me that way. They say if I'm good they won't hurt me too bad. This ain't even about taking my stuff, it's about regaining their manhoods and stuff.

"You'd have to be men to even HAVE manhoods you could stand to regain. It's a nice day out, just enjoy it in the sun."

So one of them lunges at me. And I'm kinda still enjoying the breeze when the wind picks up. Subconsciously, I backflip and kick the guy in the jaw. When I land, I realize he's behind me. Still breathing though.

Now, it's important to remember I'm not exactly aerodynamic. I am overweight by at least ten kilograms (92 kg last I checked). I never successfully performed a backflip before - a front flip, sure, but I just didn't have enough leg strength to push myself fast enough to land on my feet.

"Seriously, guys. Since it's such a nice day, if you go now, I won't chase. But if you don't, I'm not even going to bother dirtying my hands."

They decide to go for it and take a stab at me. The fastest one gets in front; I connect with my shin and foot perfectly along the side of his jaw, shoving him aside in the same motion. Then I hop on one leg and do a split kick on their faces. Comically enough, they land face-first after that.

I've never been very good with kicking. My legs are pretty strong and they have a good potential for short bursts of strength, but I have very little flexibility. Today, though, I felt like if I jumped high enough the wind would just make me fly.

[nijineko]

where is someone with a cell phone (with video capability) when you need it?

[Kuroimaken]

Today a co-worker of ours showed up at the office with her three-month-old baby. Cutest little girl. I was at the ground floor (I normally work at the 6th), delivering some paperwork, and being very fond of kids (they make me smile every time. And I make them smile back) I approached. The little one sees me, perks up (she looked reeeeeeeeeeally sleepy) and starts babbling. She keeps saying "aju, aju". Her mother found it strange because she doesn't babble, usually - she's much too young.

My manager believes she was trying to say "anjo", which is Portuguese for angel. Soon as I had to leave, she started pouting and looked like she was about to cry, so I sang her a quick lullaby. She dozed right off.

[PlzBreakMyCampaign]

Kuro at what point are you going to call the police? Or are they too corrupt to call...

I've met plenty of women who
absolutely can have it all.
_____ happens.

FTFY. Guess the blank.