Kuro's Improbable Tales

[phaedrusxy]

Reposted per Sirpercival's request:

Creepy local coincidence is creepy.

So I hear news at work that there's a robbery going on at a bank agency in town. They say there are hostages, including a pregnant woman. I think "man, I wish I could help" but, realistically, I know at best I will hope that things turn out okay. This is near the end of my shift. I go home, and suddenly I am assaulted by an uncontrollable urge to take a nap.

I end up asleep for two hours, and when I wake up I'm a little sweaty. There's a segment on local news about the robbery. According to the newscast, some guy in black jeans and shirt came out of nowhere and proceeded to kick the robbers' collective asses while screaming in some incomprehensible language. Apparently, no one got a good look at the guy, but everyone agreed on the black clothing bit.

It would take roughly one hour and fifteen minutes to run from where I live to where the robbery was going on and back. I was dressed in black jeans and shirt to work today.

But, of course, I was asleep at the time.

Creepy coincidences are creepy. 

So you can astrally project yourself? That's a powerful spell.

[Kuroimaken]

Reposted per Sirpercival's request:

Creepy local coincidence is creepy.

So I hear news at work that there's a robbery going on at a bank agency in town. They say there are hostages, including a pregnant woman. I think "man, I wish I could help" but, realistically, I know at best I will hope that things turn out okay. This is near the end of my shift. I go home, and suddenly I am assaulted by an uncontrollable urge to take a nap.

I end up asleep for two hours, and when I wake up I'm a little sweaty. There's a segment on local news about the robbery. According to the newscast, some guy in black jeans and shirt came out of nowhere and proceeded to kick the robbers' collective asses while screaming in some incomprehensible language. Apparently, no one got a good look at the guy, but everyone agreed on the black clothing bit.

It would take roughly one hour and fifteen minutes to run from where I live to where the robbery was going on and back. I was dressed in black jeans and shirt to work today.

But, of course, I was asleep at the time.

Creepy coincidences are creepy. 

So you can astrally project yourself? That's a powerful spell.

Kinda lame I apparently still have to walk all the way there though. 

[DonQuixote]

o.O

You've inspired copycat superheroes...

[Halinn]

o.O

You've inspired copycat superheroes...

That, or he has the superpower of Sleep Walking.

[Kuroimaken]

o.O

You've inspired copycat superheroes...

That, or he has the superpower of Sleep Walking.

Well, we HAVE already confirmed the power of Sleep WORKING...

[awaken_D_M_golem]

Sleepwalker is a Marvel Superhero ... (spoiler'd as per request)

(click to show/hide)

[Kuroimaken]

Mind putting that in a spoiler, man? It's really huge.

Aight, so I'm headed to work this afternoon. I'm about to cross the street, red for cars, which means it's okay for me to cross, right? Wrong. This biker comes down at a bazillion kilometers per hour making  as much noise as his vehicle's engine will allow. People back off, I stay in the middle of the street. Because I'll cross it at the pace I goddamn want. Mr. Biker chooses to speed up in a futile attempt to intimidate me.

So I gave him the Zangief treatment.



Biker finds that he can't beat Newton's Laws of Physics, so he flies back while his bike goes on.

[Kuroimaken]

Last Friday, I'm walking to work as I usually do, when I run into a beggar. He puts on his best "pity me" face, and goes for the classic line: "Spare some change?"

"No. Failures like you disgust me."

"It's not my fault! I don't have one hand!"

"Doesn't mean you can't work. How'd you lose your hand?"

"I was a farmer. Got it stuck in the machinery."

"What else can you do?"

"I can... cook, I guess? I guess I'd do anything for a buck..."

"You don't need both hands to cook. You need a palate, a heart, and a brain! You need the stamina to stay in front of an open fire in a hot summer day such as this! You need the alertness to keep in mind everything you need to cook, one after the other! You need HEART! You need SOUL! You need THE FIRE OF A DOZEN SUNS IN YOUR CHEST!! DO YOU HAVE ALL THOSE THINGS?!"

"...y-yeah, I think?"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER YOUR SNIVELING!!"

"Yes!"

"LOUDER!"

"YES!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK?!"

"I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT, SIR!!"

"GO AND DO NOT RETURN UNTIL YOUR HEART IS AFLAME!!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

So the guy rushes off.

Today, I had to pick up some groceries. Most shops are closed down thanks to the Carnaval, so I need to go further than I normally do.

On the way, I see a whole bunch of people gathered and staring intently at something.

Turns out the hobo I yelled at the other day now had a hot-dog stand. And he was seriously raking in the cash. There were dozens of people in there, and there was just as steady a number of walking customers with food in their hands walking away. The ex-hobo was running the freaking stand by himself.

Literally single-handedly.

I walk away, glad I don't have to deal with another sniveling hobo anymore.

[Nanshork]

Maybe he'll give you free hot dogs!

[Kuroimaken]

Nah...

[ariasderros]

Wow Kuro, just wow.

I walk away, glad I don't have to deal with another sniveling hobo anymore.

You walk away, from a man whom in less than a few minutes you managed to convince he had the means to turn his life all the way around. And he did so. Thanks to you.

People can't always manage to pick them self up from their troubles, sometimes they need help. A point in the right direction, a kick in the ass, fire under the ass, a few words on inspiration.

You just walked by, spared a few words, and gave this man exactly what he needed.

Awesome job Kuro.

[Kuroimaken]

Now if only I could do the same to evangelists.

[ariasderros]

Now if only I could do the same to evangelists.

There's an old addage: "you can teach someone who doesn't know, but you can'y teach someone who knows."

You found someone who didn't know. Evangelists know.

Or to use another addage: "you can't fix stupid."

[Kuroimaken]

Now if only I could do the same to evangelists.

There's an old addage: "you can teach someone who doesn't know, but you can'y teach someone who knows."

You found someone who didn't know. Evangelists know.

Or to use another addage: "you can't fix stupid."

Apparently they know stupid!

[ariasderros]

Apparently they know stupid!

Yet, they don't know they're stupid.

The first adage is poorly worded, it's about being open-minded.

[Kuroimaken]

Would be easier to say "you can't teach someone who thinks he knows."

[ariasderros]

Would be easier to say "you can't teach someone who thinks he knows."

The problem with the adage is that it's about the certainty that the person believes their knowledge. It's about being close minded. There are many things I "know", and there are many things I "think I know". The thing I know most surely though, is that I know nothing. This means that if someone confronts me with a different view-point I don't assume they're wrong or I'm wrong, I take it into evaluation and consideration.

Hobo considered what you said, and benefited because of it.
Evangelists don't give a rats ass about anyone else's opinions (even gods). Therefore, Evangelists [are] considered punching bags.

[Kuroimaken]

Something pretty LOLworthy happened today.

On Mondays, I leave work an hour earlier to go to therapy. So, 5 minutes till I'm supposed to leave, and our assistant sends up some mail we need to deliver (my job is usually to make as many copies as needed, tag them with the addresses and log them into our book). So I'm in overdrive mode to get everything done in five minutes. I ask one of the guys at the office to get me the tags. Thing is, he'd never done it before, so he just stares at the continuous form and the boxcutter. I eventually get pissed off with waiting, grab the boxcutter and slice at it.

Nothing happens for a second. Just long enough for the guys to start snickering about me missing.

Then the tag sheet falls neatly into my hand.

So it's not car-punching, but it was pretty amusing.

[ariasderros]

You are true to your name (well, pseudonym) today.

[Kuroimaken]

I am neither black nor magical.