Kuro's Improbable Tales

[Halinn]

I am neither black nor magical. 

I can believe that you are not black. You do seem to have magic powers, however.

[Kuroimaken]

Though it simultaneously belongs in the small rants topic, here it is. I swear, I must've fucked Ford's wife in another life.

So I'm off to work, typical scenario, right? As it so happens, some guy comes speeding down the street. I try to literally jump out of the way, but the fucker's going too fast and it's about to pick me up in mid-air. So I kick down on the hood, which causes the back of the car to lift a little, as if it had hit a wall.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm launched headfirst towards a sidewalk since I lack the acrobatic skills to flip in midair.

So my head cracks the sidewalk.

Missed work today and went to the doctor. No injury, no concussion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When my mother was operated to remove a brain aneurysm they had to replace the saw mid-operation because it wasn't cutting like it should.

[kurashu]

Though it simultaneously belongs in the small rants topic, here it is. I swear, I must've fucked Ford's wife in another life.

So I'm off to work, typical scenario, right? As it so happens, some guy comes speeding down the street. I try to literally jump out of the way, but the fucker's going too fast and it's about to pick me up in mid-air. So I kick down on the hood, which causes the back of the car to lift a little, as if it had hit a wall.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm launched headfirst towards a sidewalk since I lack the acrobatic skills to flip in midair.

So my head cracks the sidewalk.

Missed work today and went to the doctor. No injury, no concussion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When my mother was operated to remove a brain aneurysm they had to replace the saw mid-operation because it wasn't cutting like it should.

I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing but especially the causing the car to buck tremendously -- unless cardboard cars are common where you live.

[Agita]

I am neither black nor magical. 

You are most definitely magical. Were you wearing black?

[Kuroimaken]

Though it simultaneously belongs in the small rants topic, here it is. I swear, I must've fucked Ford's wife in another life.

So I'm off to work, typical scenario, right? As it so happens, some guy comes speeding down the street. I try to literally jump out of the way, but the fucker's going too fast and it's about to pick me up in mid-air. So I kick down on the hood, which causes the back of the car to lift a little, as if it had hit a wall.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm launched headfirst towards a sidewalk since I lack the acrobatic skills to flip in midair.

So my head cracks the sidewalk.

Missed work today and went to the doctor. No injury, no concussion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When my mother was operated to remove a brain aneurysm they had to replace the saw mid-operation because it wasn't cutting like it should.

I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing but especially the causing the car to buck tremendously -- unless cardboard cars are common where you live.

I DID hit my head, dude. I could be misremembering something.

I am neither black nor magical. 

You are most definitely magical. Were you wearing black?

Most of the time, yeah.

[kurashu]

Though it simultaneously belongs in the small rants topic, here it is. I swear, I must've fucked Ford's wife in another life.

So I'm off to work, typical scenario, right? As it so happens, some guy comes speeding down the street. I try to literally jump out of the way, but the fucker's going too fast and it's about to pick me up in mid-air. So I kick down on the hood, which causes the back of the car to lift a little, as if it had hit a wall.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm launched headfirst towards a sidewalk since I lack the acrobatic skills to flip in midair.

So my head cracks the sidewalk.

Missed work today and went to the doctor. No injury, no concussion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When my mother was operated to remove a brain aneurysm they had to replace the saw mid-operation because it wasn't cutting like it should.

I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing but especially the causing the car to buck tremendously -- unless cardboard cars are common where you live.

I DID hit my head, dude. I could be misremembering something.

By reading this thread, you seem to hit your head and "misremember" quite a bit.

[ariasderros]

By reading this thread, you seem to hit your head and "misremember" quite a bit.

Does anyone else have a problem here? Does this affect you in any way?

If you don't like it, don't read it.

You don't need to troll or drop flame-bait. Which is what your post ends up being, however unintentionally.

[Nanshork]

Though it simultaneously belongs in the small rants topic, here it is. I swear, I must've fucked Ford's wife in another life.

So I'm off to work, typical scenario, right? As it so happens, some guy comes speeding down the street. I try to literally jump out of the way, but the fucker's going too fast and it's about to pick me up in mid-air. So I kick down on the hood, which causes the back of the car to lift a little, as if it had hit a wall.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm launched headfirst towards a sidewalk since I lack the acrobatic skills to flip in midair.

So my head cracks the sidewalk.

Missed work today and went to the doctor. No injury, no concussion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When my mother was operated to remove a brain aneurysm they had to replace the saw mid-operation because it wasn't cutting like it should.

I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing but especially the causing the car to buck tremendously -- unless cardboard cars are common where you live.

I DID hit my head, dude. I could be misremembering something.

By reading this thread, you seem to hit your head and "misremember" quite a bit.

What is the point of coming into kuro's thread and insulting him?  Why troll here?

[Kuroimaken]

Though it simultaneously belongs in the small rants topic, here it is. I swear, I must've fucked Ford's wife in another life.

So I'm off to work, typical scenario, right? As it so happens, some guy comes speeding down the street. I try to literally jump out of the way, but the fucker's going too fast and it's about to pick me up in mid-air. So I kick down on the hood, which causes the back of the car to lift a little, as if it had hit a wall.

Unfortunately, it also means I'm launched headfirst towards a sidewalk since I lack the acrobatic skills to flip in midair.

So my head cracks the sidewalk.

Missed work today and went to the doctor. No injury, no concussion.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When my mother was operated to remove a brain aneurysm they had to replace the saw mid-operation because it wasn't cutting like it should.

I'm calling bullshit on this whole thing but especially the causing the car to buck tremendously -- unless cardboard cars are common where you live.

I DID hit my head, dude. I could be misremembering something.

By reading this thread, you seem to hit your head and "misremember" quite a bit.

I don't particularly care whether you believe it or not. I'm not making this up, even though I have a hard time believing this shit happens to me sometimes myself. Quite frankly, it freaks me out. Sharing this helps me assure myself I'm NOT FUCKING CRAZY.

I could be very well hallucinating about a whole lot of this. Who knows, no doctor has been able to give me a definite diagnosis though all of them agree something's not right with my head.

With that said...

...I'm NOT making this shit up. Not consciously, anyway.

[kurashu]

By reading this thread, you seem to hit your head and "misremember" quite a bit.

Does anyone else have a problem here? Does this affect you in any way?

If you don't like it, don't read it.

You don't need to troll or drop flame-bait. Which is what your post ends up being, however unintentionally.

Because this entire thread reads like a Troper Tales page, that's why. Someone needs to play the straight man -- or whatever stupid name TvTropes has given to it, probably something in Fapanese -- and call out bullshit. Let's face it, if Kuro was saying this to people in person, he wouldn't get praise or "ZOGM AWESOME!", he'd get sideway glances and social shunning every time he walked into a room. I decided to post here because I can't stand liars and Internet braggarts.

I get crazy shit happens to people, sometimes a lot of crazy shit happens to people. I found a hundred dollar bill walking home from school one day. Sometimes completely unbelievable shit happens to people, but not on a regular basis like this.

As for Kuro's passionate defense that he's "...NOT making this shit up. Not consciously, anyway." that's an odd way to phrase it and seems like some bull to me.

As for the hallucinations, they don't happen like this. I've known people that hallucinate, it's terrifying -- both to them and the people around them. They see people they know are dead, they hear voices, taste and smell things that aren't there, feel people touching them. And not just on an odd occasion, because that happens to normal people, but all the fucking time. If this is a mental disorder, you need to check in with a good psychiatrist, bro, because you have a top notch delusional disorder.

This shit seems more along the lines of every chronic liar I've ever known. "I flipped the driver's ed car going a buck-twenty." "Stomach cancer ate my fetus." "I quit Taco Bell because I got into a fist fight with the district manager." "The dean said I'm his assistant while I'm at school." Shit like that, oh I forgot my favorite, "Aliens abducted me and autopsied my baby out of me." With a completely straight face I was told that.

[ariasderros]

Because this entire thread reads like a Troper Tales page, that's why. Someone needs to play the straight man -- or whatever stupid name TvTropes has given to it, probably something in Fapanese -- and call out bullshit. Let's face it, if Kuro was saying this to people in person, he wouldn't get praise or "ZOGM AWESOME!", he'd get sideway glances and social shunning every time he walked into a room. I decided to post here because I can't stand liars and Internet braggarts.

A) only go to TVtopes when linked to it, and only to figure out what the person is referring to if I don't know. So I'm assuming what you said simply went over my head, rather than it being more flame-bait / trolling.
B) even if you assume it's all BS, I've seen IRL friendships that included massive tails of hyperbole. Your argument doesn't hold water. He's telling his E-friends stories, from the perspective of truth, for them to make up their own minds on.

I get crazy shit happens to people, sometimes a lot of crazy shit happens to people. I found a hundred dollar bill walking home from school one day. Sometimes completely unbelievable shit happens to people, but not on a regular basis like this.

I don't believe you. Maybe you should prove it. Oh, wait, you can't either. I guess that means I get to choose whether I believe you or not, and whether I think it matters or not. What an amazing medium this thing called internet is.

As for Kuro's passionate defense that he's "...NOT making this shit up. Not consciously, anyway." that's an odd way to phrase it and seems like some bull to me.

Your call, your prerogative, move on.

As for the hallucinations, they don't happen like this. I've known people that hallucinate, it's terrifying -- both to them and the people around them. They see people they know are dead, they hear voices, taste and smell things that aren't there, feel people touching them. And not just on an odd occasion, because that happens to normal people, but all the fucking time. If this is a mental disorder, you need to check in with a good psychiatrist, bro, because you have a top notch delusional disorder.

I happen to be one of these. Tread carefully how you throw this accusation around. Very carefully, as I am, trying, very, hard, not, to, be, offended.

This shit seems more along the lines of every chronic liar I've ever known. "I flipped the driver's ed car going a buck-twenty." "Stomach cancer ate my fetus." "I quit Taco Bell because I got into a fist fight with the district manager." "The dean said I'm his assistant while I'm at school." Shit like that, oh I forgot my favorite, "Aliens abducted me and autopsied my baby out of me." With a completely straight face I was told that.

AHEM:

Does anyone else have a problem here? Does this affect you in any way?
If you don't like it, don't read it.
You don't need to troll or drop flame-bait. Which is what your post ends up being, however unintentionally.

What is the point of coming into kuro's thread and insulting him?  Why troll here?

I don't particularly care whether you believe it or not.

If you think it's your job to be the one to call BS to do everyone else the favor of not being taken in by lies, it isn't. You've been outvoted.
This is the last time I respond to you here. This statement has no bearing on any other thread. Unless you continue trolling here.

[Kuroimaken]

More to the point, I don't owe you any proof, Kurashu. I believe I've made it fairly clear that whether you choose to believe it or not, I don't particularly care. I DO, however, state that I'm NOT making this shit up because lies have been a part of my life for longer than I'd care to admit and it was a VERY grueling process, for me, to make as little use of falsehood as humanly possible. The comparison to a chronic liar strikes really deep and it offends the FUCK out of me. It's your prerogative to call bullshit, but if/when I lie or feel that I'm wrong about something, I WILL come clean about it. There are more polite ways to be skeptical than calling me a liar to my face.

I would appreciate if you took that elsewhere. Its own thread on the BLYHT boards, if you like. It's what they're there for.

[brujon]

I'm also pretty skeptic towards Kuro's stories, and i know there's a fair bit of hyperbole in them. It's fairly evident by the way that he tells the story that he's exaggerating it a bit in order for it to be amusing. And that's fine, too, because i, and i think many here, find the stories funny, even though they may not be 100% raw truth. I'm certain many things are coincidences, or perceived wrong by Kuro: for example, when he hit his head on the sidewalk he said cracked, maybe he bumped into a part that was already cracked earlier, but he associated it with bumping his head and thought that caused it to crack... Who knows? It's not like everyone goes analyzing every inch of a sidewalk as they go to bash their heads forcefully against it... Either way, it's amusing. If you simply give it the benefit of the doubt, don't hold it as universally truth, and think of it more like a fictitious over-the-top accounts of bizarre events of everyday life, i think you'd find his accounts to be a pleasant reading.

[Kethrian]

I think it was more that his head cracked into the sidewalk, as in slammed it hard, not put a crack into it.

[Kuroimaken]

Funny thing: we have two ladies who have become pregnant semi-recently in the company (read: about 4 months ago). I tend to carry this pack of tarot cards as a good luck charm (I can read them, but I don't consider myself very good at it). Back when the news were fresh, the girls asked me to read the cards to find out whether the babies would be healthy, what gender etc.. I read them, both healthy, both girls.

Yesterday I learned that the two of them had ultrasounds. And both babies are girls.

Funny coincidence, huh?

[Halinn]

25% chance of being correct with random guesses, slightly less if you account for the possibility of twins. Slightly improbably, but make enough random guesses and one is bound to be correct.
Also, you're probably a witch. Is your weight the same as that of a duck?

[Monotremeancer]

25% chance of being correct with random guesses, slightly less if you account for the possibility of twins. Slightly improbably, but make enough random guesses and one is bound to be correct.
Also, you're probably a witch. Is your weight the same as that of a duck?

I believe this would me more accurate

(click to show/hide)

Edit: And if you want to be very strict about, it is actually <25% as there are approx. 103 boys born per 100 girls.

[Kuroimaken]

Today we had to take a field trip to the company's dead files. We had to locate a specific set of financial data from a specific condo from a specific year.

Thing is, the company is at least 25 years old. The file in question was from 1989 and it wasn't until '95 that their filing system integrated computers.

And they NEVER did a clean-up of the place.

So we were in for a spelunking session. There were four of us, and 11 sets of massive two-sided shelves to search through (2 of which were empty).

About an hour in, we decide to take a break - the heat was murdering us and the scent of dust in the air was suffocating. I had the tarot deck in my pocket, so we fooled around with some silly questions. At which point one of my colleagues makes a joke about asking the cards where the box with the documents we wanted was.

The cards I drew were The Hanged Man, The Empress and the Wheel of Fortune (numbers 12, 3 and 10 respectively).

So on a whim I decide to check shelf 12, 3rd stack from bottom to top, tenth box over.

"Ummm, guys? I found it..."

[ariasderros]

25% chance of being correct with random guesses, slightly less if you account for the possibility of twins.

Edit: And if you want to be very strict about, it is actually <25% as there are approx. 103 boys born per 100 girls.

Less if you account for the fact that those still aren't the only options.

@ Kuro's new one.
... sooo.... psychometry added to superpowers.

[Kuroimaken]

I'm a regular Mary Sue. What does that bring the list to?