So I was talking to my dad, and told him some of the stuff that happened to me recently, and he countered by saying, "That's pretty mild compared to your early childhood."
So he tells me two stories.
One time, he left me inside the car, handbrake secured (we used to live on a house on top of a hill back then). According to dad, I somehow released the handbrake and DROVE THE CAR DOWNHILL into a neighbor's brick wall. At age 3. He then proceeded to get me out of the car, unscathed and giggly, as if saying "again! again!" before it fell into our neighbour's yard.
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At age 2, we used to live in a fairly backwater town. It was practically rural, even downtown. Anyhoo, this one time I'm playing in the garden at age 2 with my nanny. For whatever reason, the nanny left me unsupervised for a little while.
And then a fucking rattlesnake slithers out of the tall grass.
And I'm clapping all happy-like. The rattlesnake lunges, and LANDS ITS HEAD BETWEEN MY HANDS mid-lunge. Apparently I was at that age where a child doesn't know her own strength, because that seemed to stun it. I then grabbed it by the neck and proceeded to pound it into the ground like a rattle. My mom comes running, and I drop the snake to give her a hug. My dad grabs a shovel and kills the snake.
All things considered, I might've eaten raw snake if my mom and dad hadn't interfered.
This song seems oddly appropriate to the possible repercussions of that incident.
