So, I recently bought myself a Bluetooth headset. The scum of this city seems to have come out in force for some reason.
I've been attacked twice on the past week after it.
The first time, I noticed the guy sneaking up on me by watching the shadows on the street. When he reached for my headset, I spun on my heel and grabbed his wrist, and started clamping down. He reaches for something in his pocket and I comment, "You know, there are about 212 bones in the human body. In particular, the skull fractures under a pressure of approximately 30 kg. A pitbull's bite can produce pressure in excess of 75 kg, and the average human being, untrained, can exert about 5 to 10 kg of force on one hand..."
At this point he's yelping and looking up at me. That's when I put on my scary face.
"...I could be an average person, or I could be trained to have a grip strength like a pitbull's bite. Whatever the case, I think you have a very important question to ask yourself now..."
I slowly reach with my right hand towards his face.
"Do you feel lucky, punk?"
I very nearly grasp his face, and then go BOO! and he runs like he's got the devil on his heels.
The other one was less subtle. He runs at me, pocket knife in hand yelling "You lost it, playboy" (it's a common sentence among mugging scumbags in this country.)
"Not as much as your dentist did when you decided to forego dental hygiene."
He lunges, and I take a sidestep. I whip my arm around his and yank it up, causing him to let go of the knife, before I take a step forward and headbutt him into next week. Pretty sure his jaw was fractured, and I may have loosened his front teeth. The downside, he ends up bleeding all over my shirt, so I have to go back home and change.
