Author Topic: Kuro's Improbable Tales  (Read 106220 times)

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #180 on: May 15, 2012, 10:14:34 PM »
Well, there WAS a loud clap of thunder sometime afterward, but hell if I know if he was or not.  :P

And how exactly is it the correct reaction? I ain't no puppet of no horned redskin.
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Offline nijineko

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #181 on: May 17, 2012, 02:12:28 AM »
i find the stories interesting.

stat sheet wise, i would lean toward a more normal being, but likely with the watchful spirit class feature or something similar.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #182 on: May 30, 2012, 05:41:00 PM »
So, I recently bought myself a Bluetooth headset. The scum of this city seems to have come out in force for some reason.

I've been attacked twice on the past week after it.

The first time, I noticed the guy sneaking up on me by watching the shadows on the street. When he reached for my headset, I spun on my heel and grabbed his wrist, and started clamping down. He reaches for something in his pocket and I comment, "You know, there are about 212 bones in the human body. In particular, the skull fractures under a pressure of approximately 30 kg. A pitbull's bite can produce pressure in excess of 75 kg, and the average human being, untrained, can exert about 5 to 10 kg of force on one hand..."

At this point he's yelping and looking up at me. That's when I put on my scary face.

"...I could be an average person, or I could be trained to have a grip strength like a pitbull's bite. Whatever the case, I think you have a very important question to ask yourself now..."

I slowly reach with my right hand towards his face.

"Do you feel lucky, punk?"

I very nearly grasp his face, and then go BOO! and he runs like he's got the devil on his heels.

The other one was less subtle. He runs at me, pocket knife in hand yelling "You lost it, playboy" (it's a common sentence among mugging scumbags in this country.)

"Not as much as your dentist did when you decided to forego dental hygiene."

He lunges, and I take a sidestep. I whip my arm around his and yank it up, causing him to let go of the knife, before I take a step forward and headbutt him into next week. Pretty sure his jaw was fractured, and I may have loosened his front teeth. The downside, he ends up bleeding all over my shirt, so I have to go back home and change.
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Offline nijineko

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #183 on: May 31, 2012, 02:18:41 AM »
maybe you should start wearing armored bracers, as a fashion statement, of course.

Offline DonQuixote

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #184 on: May 31, 2012, 05:29:41 PM »
If I were you, I'd start carrying health potions.  Sure, you're having an easy time with the mooks, but I can't shake the feeling that, sooner or later, you're going to find yourself confronting the final boss of Brazil.
“Hast thou not felt in forest gloom, as gloaming falls on dark-some dells, when comes a whisper, hum and hiss; savage growling sounds a-near, dazzling flashes around thee flicker, whirring waxes and fills thine ears: has thou not felt then grisly horrors that grip thee and hold thee?”

Offline Kethrian

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #185 on: May 31, 2012, 06:22:57 PM »
He doesn't need health potions!  Random burgers found in trash cans will heal him up just fine....
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #186 on: May 31, 2012, 08:51:59 PM »
If I were you, I'd start carrying health potions.  Sure, you're having an easy time with the mooks, but I can't shake the feeling that, sooner or later, you're going to find yourself confronting the final boss of Brazil.

Oh, but before that happened, I'd have to work my way through the government first. Starting with the mayor, I guess. Then the EVIL city council...
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Offline Kethrian

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #187 on: May 31, 2012, 09:08:30 PM »
Make sure you take advantage of any lead pipes or knives or katanas just laying on the ground, and break all the smashables for extra points....
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Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #188 on: May 31, 2012, 09:20:00 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.
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Offline Libertad

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #189 on: May 31, 2012, 11:13:08 PM »
Kuro never had to train to hone his body into a lean, mean, fighting machine; he was born bad-ass.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #190 on: June 01, 2012, 08:35:13 AM »
Sadly, that last part isn't true. I used to take quite a bit of bullying in middle school.
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Offline DonQuixote

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #191 on: June 08, 2012, 01:33:01 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
« Last Edit: June 08, 2012, 01:34:48 PM by DonQuixote »
“Hast thou not felt in forest gloom, as gloaming falls on dark-some dells, when comes a whisper, hum and hiss; savage growling sounds a-near, dazzling flashes around thee flicker, whirring waxes and fills thine ears: has thou not felt then grisly horrors that grip thee and hold thee?”

Offline awaken_D_M_golem

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #192 on: June 08, 2012, 03:10:05 PM »

... The downside, he ends up bleeding all over my shirt, so I have to go back home and change.


Keep the shirt, so you'll be ready for the inevitable Zombie apocalypse.


 :whistle ... (sing): It's close to mid-night, and Kuroimaken's lurking in the da-a-ark.

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Offline Quillwraith

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #193 on: June 08, 2012, 03:11:24 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.

Offline Kuroimaken

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #194 on: June 08, 2012, 05:48:41 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.

Any time now, Agita might be making a demotivational poster of that.
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Offline Agita

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #195 on: June 08, 2012, 06:21:34 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.

Any time now, Agita might be making a demotivational poster of that.
Get me a pic of you in something resembling a suit and I'll think about it.
Please send private messages regarding board matters to Forum Staff instead.

Offline Bozwevial

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #196 on: June 08, 2012, 06:31:03 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.

Any time now, Agita might be making a demotivational poster of that.
Get me a pic of you in something resembling a suit and I'll think about it.
Didn't he do a Gendo Ikari cosplay at one point? Not sure how suitlike the costume was, but at that point it's really just a formality.
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Offline Agita

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #197 on: June 08, 2012, 06:32:19 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.

Any time now, Agita might be making a demotivational poster of that.
Get me a pic of you in something resembling a suit and I'll think about it.
Didn't he do a Gendo Ikari cosplay at one point? Not sure how suitlike the costume was, but at that point it's really just a formality.
I only recall the trenchcoat+katana one.
Please send private messages regarding board matters to Forum Staff instead.

Offline Quillwraith

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #198 on: June 08, 2012, 06:43:26 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.
Actually, it occurs to me that I know someone who would stand a fair chance against President Kuroimaken, if he wanted to.
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Offline DonQuixote

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Re: Kuro's Improbable Tales
« Reply #199 on: June 08, 2012, 06:45:07 PM »
We could make a game out of that called Kuro Runs for President.

Kuro Runs for President could be a tougher optimization challenge than Dispater and the Iron Siege.  Can YOU build a bad enough dude to stop President Kuroimaken?
Probably not.

Any time now, Agita might be making a demotivational poster of that.
Get me a pic of you in something resembling a suit and I'll think about it.

If only I were near enough to lend my wardrobe!  Imagine, Kuroimaken in a three-piece suit, with a pocketwatch and a top hat.
“Hast thou not felt in forest gloom, as gloaming falls on dark-some dells, when comes a whisper, hum and hiss; savage growling sounds a-near, dazzling flashes around thee flicker, whirring waxes and fills thine ears: has thou not felt then grisly horrors that grip thee and hold thee?”