I am clearly not drunk enough for this.
How long have I been playing D&D? How many years? I know this stuff front to back, I could quote things from all kinds of splatbooks, I know all the best combinations, and I am a king among my friends. I've followed this board since it was still on Wizards before the great exodus and the arrival of 4e. I've seen so much...
How. How is it then that this has somehow escaped me for so long. I knew that, compared to the summon monster line, summon's nature ally started out strong and ended up weak. I knew that. I just... I had no idea how weak it ended up.
A level 9 spell people. A spell among the likes of Time Stop. Shapechange. Wish. Fucking Wish. Yeah, not all spells are even. Meteor Swarm is there, it sucks, but it is only off by like two spell levels or so. I'd cast it for a 7th level slot. But Summon Nature's Ally 9. Holy broiled Jesus muffins on a pogo stick. Summon Nature's Ally 9.
A pixie. CR 5.
And a grig. CR 1.
One. ONE. Uno. Ein. Odna. Hito. Un. Um. Een. Oinos. Aon. Mot. Xejn. Ek. A singular CR. Only one.
But... but of course, it's justified. It has irresistible dance! Mass irresistible dance! It... it has a save. Ok, not so irresistible, but I'm sure it's....
DC 12.
What about the pixie? Sleep! Memory loss! It's arrows, surely they ca-
DC 15.
What the fucking fuck WotC.